Schadenfreude (1/1) + icons
This post is dedicated to little_firestar. Hope you enjoy it!
Title: Schadenfreude
Author: tromana
Rating: T
Characters: Jane/Lisbon
Summary: schadenfreude: happiness at the misfortune of others. Lisbon finds herself over-analysing her and Jane's post-case reactions.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist; this was written purely for the joy of writing.
Notes: for prompt 049. schadenfreude on mentalistprompt and the November 2012 Monthly Challenge on Paint It Red. Prompt: you never know
Schadenfreude
“Sometimes I wonder about you.”
“Only sometimes?” he quipped.
Lightly, she punched him on the arm before stealing a potato chip. Jane pouted in mock-hurt. Really, she knew that he didn’t mind, but was making a big deal out of the situation just to see if he could make her apologize. However, she knew his games and was going to rise above them. Besides, he was the one who had suggested they watch some movies to chill out after their most recent case. It was a stressful one; it always was when powerful people who had their fingers in everything tried to have their say. Eventually, they had managed to dodge the political mine holes and actually catch their kill. Then again, when she had Jane on her side, it was only on very rare occasions when cases didn’t end in success.
“Fine, most of the time,” she said, correcting herself.
“And what in particular is troubling you this time?”
“You really seemed pleased when that CEO was guilty.”
“What? He was an ass. He deserved it,” Jane protested.
“And the wife deserved to see her husband go down in flames and lose all support for her family?”
“Well, no. But sometimes, it’s good to see the right person get their comeuppance.”
“True,” she conceded.
However, the only joy she had gotten from the case was the same one as always: that justice had been served for the victim. With Jane, his thrill seemed to be that little bit deeper. Sometimes, it seemed like he took real pleasure out of seeing other people suffer. Briefly, she considered if that was because it made him feel better about his own demons. But then, this was the man who had shot the wrong man in his search of Red John, and somehow been able to reconcile it with his conscience. This was the man who had locked a living man in a coffin, tantamount to threatening to kill him, in order to get a confession. Patrick Jane was also the man who continually made things difficult for her, simply because he couldn’t control himself.
And yet, she couldn’t help but stick by him. She could see the innate sense of goodness inside of him. Lisbon knew that other cases provided a much needed distraction for him; they stopped him from being consumed by that desperate need for revenge. As far as she was concerned, the more ‘other’ cases they worked on, the better. Did it really matter if Jane got a cheap thrill from apprehending a murderer? What was the harm in him being pleased when an abhorrent person had their downfall? And who really cared if it made him forget about just how bleak his life could be, if only for a short while?
Then again, it was also somewhat hypocritical her judging him for such a reaction. With her lofty ideals about the law and justice, was she really any better? Lisbon would have been foolish to deny that she didn’t get some pleasure in arresting somebody responsible for murder. She took pride in doing a job and doing it well. And Jane was right; she had been pleased when they’d arrested the CEO for the murder of his pretty receptionist, Lucie Sanders. It comforted her to know that he wouldn’t be able to prey on another innocent girl and then take her life when he grew bored of her. It relieved her to know that another murder was off the streets and behind bars. And she liked the fact that it maintained the team’s current streak of closed cases. Then, there was the fact she could give family and friends the answers they deserved. It was impossible to bring the girl back, but it made do as a consolation. It helped them get some sort of closure, something she understood all too well about. Maybe her joy wasn’t purely about justice being served, after all.
“We did good,” Jane added and Lisbon nodded in response.
“I guess,” she replied, unsure about this self-congratulatory behavior.
Somebody had died, and yet, they were effectively congratulating themselves for a job well done. Surely their success should pale in comparison to the fact that somebody had lost a life in order to do so? Lisbon shook her head and grabbed another potato chip. Jane’s hand rested comfortably on her inner thigh, but she didn’t bother to move it away. She was just beginning to feel comfortable once again.
Even so, her over-analysis was beginning to drive her mad. She didn’t usually react in such a way after a case; usually the mountain of paperwork drove any positive thoughts from her mind. Although she often used paperwork as an excuse to not celebrate closing cases with the rest of her team, in reality it was this very feeling which drove it to one side. This was why she didn’t celebrate too often. She didn’t much like the idea of taking pride and pleasure in somebody else’s suffering. Even if the man was a murderer, he was still a human being. He still had feelings. And besides, there wasn’t just the pain to the man responsible, there was everyone else involved. Sometimes, Lisbon believed that the relatives and loved ones of the victim often had the greater burden. Once somebody was dead, there was nothing more that could be done for them. Capturing their murderer didn’t bring the deceased back; it just stopped them from killing again and again.
The only reason she had agreed to watch movies with Jane was because he’d looked so forlorn and lost when he’d appeared at her office door. She could always tell when he was in dire need of a distraction of some variety and today was one of those days. In an instant, Lisbon had decided that the paperwork could wait; she’d much rather spend the time with a close friend and making sure he was alright. Now, all she had to do was stoically force herself to stop thinking about work and start thinking about the movie they were watching. The only thing was, she couldn’t even remember what the plot was, and she took no pleasure in watching the male lead; he wasn’t her type in the slightest.
Then again, even Lisbon was distinctly aware that she was pretty much only attracted to individuals with a certain damaged intensity. Especially so if they happened to have blue-green eyes and curled blond hair. She shook her head again and tried to dismiss those thoughts from her mind. Lisbon didn’t know what the hell was wrong with her tonight; all she seemed capable of doing was thinking about completely inappropriate subjects. Jane was her friend and a coworker; he was too broken to think about anyone else. Wasn’t he?
“This movie is terrible,” she eventually stated, keen to find another distraction. “You have seriously bad taste, Jane.”
“Well what do you suggest we watch?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even think I care. Just not this one,” she replied.
“I think I can think of something else to do.”
Carefully, he placed a hand on her cheek and then guided his lips to her own. Lisbon’s heart thrummed erratically in her chest as he gently placed his lips to hers. She pulled away once her mind caught up with everything else and stared at him quizzically. Where the hell had that came from? Seconds ago, she had herself believing that Jane was practically incapable of feeling anything beyond close friendship for her. Now, he was displaying signs that he was thinking about anything but friendship.
“You just kissed me,” she said, stating the obvious.
“We can do it again if you like?” he responded, with a devilish grin on his face.
She shrugged her shoulders and closed the distance between them once more. If she was going to be thinking inappropriate things about her consultant, then it was much better that they did it together. Tomorrow, she decided, she would figure out the consequences. Tonight, all she wanted to do was live in the moment.
