Denial Isn't Just a River (1/1)
Title: Denial Isn't Just a River
Author: tromana
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Jane/Lisbon
Summary: Five times Lisbon denies or ignores her flaws.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Spoilers: Season Four
Notes: Written for 15genres1prompt. Genre: five times
Denial Isn't Just a River
i
“She’s straightening,” Cho mutters in a low voice and immediately, Rigsby and Van Pelt’s faces drop.
It’s always a problem when Lisbon is straightening because it means she is worrying, And if she is worrying, there is usually good cause for it. That cause often (though not always) goes by the name of Patrick Jane. As a consequence, that means they all have reason to be concerned.
Lisbon also tends to be more moody and snappish as a consequence, which means, in turn, that it drags down the entire team. She’s the team leader and though each one knows they shouldn’t, they view her as unflappable, unstoppable, superhuman, even. Moments like this remind them of the chinks in her armor.
Seconds later, Jane emerges with his favorite teacup in hand. He takes a sip and he sighs his appreciation of the beverage. All three agents turn to glare at him. Frowning, he places the cup of tea carefully down on Cho’s desk before returning his attention to them.
“I haven’t done anything wrong,” he immediately protests,”
“We didn’t say you did,” Van Pelt snaps back.
“Yet,” Cho adds.
Jane joins them in front of the glass panel. Lisbon remains seemingly oblivious to their presences and stares with them. She’s completely engrossed in her task, making sure that everything is perfect. She’s almost frantic in her actions; just before Jane fetched his tea, he interrupted her and slowed down her progress.
“She has a meeting with Wainwright,” Jane eventually explains.
“Oh?”
“About her brother.”
“Oh.”
They didn’t need to know any more of the details, because they were all more than intelligent enough to put the pieces together. Her brother, probably Tommy, had most likely interfered with another unit’s case, while chasing down a skip. Wainwright had therefore taken it upon himself to blame her instead, And that would be more than enough to tip her over the edge.
“She insists she’s fine,” Jane adds.
Not that she’d admit to it, mind.
ii
“You know, somebody else could do that.”
“Oh, please,” she answers back as if that is an argument. “I have a deadline to meet, so if you don’t mind…”
Lisbon trails off and waves her left hand casually in the general direction of the door. Her eyes are fiercely fixed on the form in front of her. The mountainous pile that is threatening to overspill in her inbox suggests that not only will she be working late, again, but she is also trying to give herself repetitive strain injury.
Naturally, Jane completely ignores her instruction. Most of the demands she gives him, he sees as being more like suggestions or advice. He can - and does - choose whether or not to take it on board or to pretend that she never said it in the first place. This time, he thinks that he would much prefer to sit at her desk, directly in front of her. The bullpen is deserted; the others are all busy chasing leads and he most certainly hadn’t been invited. Entertaining Lisbon (or, more likely, her keeping him occupied), seems like a preferable way to spend his time.
Eventually, she places the ballpoint pen down, crosses her arms and glares at him.
“I thought I told you to go.”
“Actually, you merely stated you had a deadline to meet.”
“I’m not in the mood to play your games, Jane,” she answers with an insufferable sigh. “You know what I meant.”
Once more Jane ignores her and instead, picks up the next form on her pile. Though he refuses to fill in most the paperwork - he finds it arduous and meaningless - it doesn’t mean he isn’t au fait with it. After all, he’s watched the others do it many a time. It’s an A4B and when she snatches it back, he pouts.
“Wasn’t Cho meant to fill that one in?”
Lisbon shrugs and casts her eyes back downwards.
“He was, wasn’t he?”
“He always fills in section 7.2 wrong.”
“I think you have a problem with delegation.”
“I do not,” she retorts and Jane knows it’s taking all of her self-control not to throw some sort of projectile at him. “It’s just quicker if I do it.”
iii
“Paperwork, still?” Jane remarks, incredulous. “I thought you were going to prove me wrong and delegate?”
“They’ve been busy,” she mutters before taking a sip of her black coffee.
“Oh really?” he answers back, grinning. “Then why did I spot Cho and Rigsby playing with a rubber ball for an hour before they left to go home? Much to Van Pelt’s irritation, I hasten to add.”
Lisbon merely shrugs and picks up her pen yet again. She’s been solidly doing paperwork for the past eight hours, after her dreaded meeting with Wainwright. On the plus side, she’s calmed down considerably. However, her last interruption had been Jane himself, just after lunch. She hadn’t even realized that the other three had come back and left once more. Then again, unlike Jane, they actually listened to her instructions and she had told them not to disrupt her.
“I bet it’s been so long since you last had a break, that your coffee has gone cold.”
“So what if it has?” she answers back stiffly.
“C’mon, let’s get you something to eat and drink,” he says encouragingly. “Something more substantial than a banana and a coffee.”
“Jane,” she whines.
She knows how to look after herself, despite the fact he seems convinced otherwise. Besides, she had a big lunch which he hadn’t seen, so despite it being early evening, she’s not actually that hungry. However, she’d have been lying if she didn’t admit that she finds his concern touching. Jane dances that little too close to the edge of insanity for comfort. It’s easier to pretend he is whole and normal, than not.
Still, that doesn’t mean she can say yes. Even after all these years of working closely with him, he scares her. It isn’t just his actions, but it’s what he does to her. It’s the reason she determinedly throws up barriers between them. Lisbon has been hurt so many times, and Jane is more destructive than most.
Unfortunately, he believes her actions are just sheer stubbornness, when as far as she’s concerned, it’s anything but.
iv
Van Pelt watches her boss warily. She’s staring at Jane and the widow and if looks could kill, then either one or both of the figures standing in front of her would have been dead. She’s seen her boss angry, furious even, more times than she can count. Barely a day goes by without Lisbon being annoyed by one thing or another. However, the look in her face is beyond anger; there’s something else in it.
“Boss, are you okay?” she asks tentatively.
“Fine,” Lisbon replies, though her tone suggests she’s anything but.
It’s strange, really. Van Pelt knows that she should be pleased, in theory. They caught the killer with very little hassle. It was a good, easy case for all of them. Jane didn’t even need to break out any of his elaborate stunts -big or small - to solve it, something which simplified everything considerably. That meant she could believe, with some conviction, that there shouldn’t be any problem whatsoever once the case hit the courts. Except for Jane’s testimony, of course, they were always interesting, to phrase it politely.
When Jane reaches out to touch the sobbing widow on the shoulder gently, Lisbon’s eyes narrow further. It’s just a kind touch, one that is meant to offer comfort and show that he understands. Something, which both she and Lisbon are more than aware that he does. Barely a day goes by without them being reminded, somehow, of the losses he’s had to endure. It doesn’t matter that they’ve shaped him, made him a better person than he once was, but Van Pelt is a firm believer that nobody deserves to suffer as he has, even for the greater good.
“Are you sure?” she asks, almost nervously.
“I said I’m fine, Van Pelt,” Lisbon snaps in response and crosses her arms. “Now, if you don’t have anything better to do…”
“Sorry, Boss,” she answers timidly, “but you know, he’s only offering his condolences.”
“You think I’m jealous?” Lisbon asks, her voice a mixture of sheer shock and dark humor.
“I didn’t say…”
“Go away, Van Pelt. I’m sure you have plenty to be doing.”
“Yes, I’m sorry.”
v
Even the most stubborn of souls sometimes just have to give into Jane’s relentless persistence. Lisbon, however, manages to time it so it suits her schedule rather than his. When their workload is lighter, she finally accepts his offer of dinner, though she makes it explicitly clear that the boundaries remain and he has to be on his best behavior.
Jane, however, is thrilled, and more than willing to go along with her stipulations. Despite her arguments otherwise, as far as he’s concerned, this is a sign that the barriers between them are crumbling, that she is slowly but surely beginning to trust him that little bit more.
The conversation is light and airy, to begin with. Jane knows that prodding Lisbon that little bit too hard is akin to prodding a caged lion. (Or tiger or bear, for that matter. The species is irrelevant.) He knows how to manipulate conversation to get exactly what he wants from it; the skills were practically ingrained in him at birth.
That means, by the time that he’s driving her home (sedately, of course, heaven forbid if he breaks the speed limit even just a little bit), that she’s ready for him to hit her with the harder subjects. The half bottle of cabernet she washed the food down with helps, as well. Normally, she cages up whenever he touches on her family, or her love life, but now, she can just about handle it.
So naturally, he cannot resist but to go there.
“When was the last time you were in a serious relationship?” he asks gently, though his question is blunt.
She shrugs. “Does it matter?”
“I’m intrigued.”
He pulls up in front of her home and she turns to face him. She’s not comfortable, that much is clear.
“You’re intrigued by anything and everything.”
“Have you ever been in a serious relationship?” he persists. “Have you ever been in love?”
“It’s none of your business,” she snaps angrily and slams the door to his Citroen shut much harder than he’d have liked.
As he drives away, upset at the fact he’d horribly misjudged the situation, for once, he misses a sudden admission, more to herself than anything. That she hasn’t just loved in the past, but is in love, but doesn’t dare tell the man in question.