just hoping for not weird
i started therapy last week. i was so excited for that first session and now i am so torn because it was wonderful. god it was so wonderful. unfortunately, it is also quite expensive. i am thinking about getting a part time job on the side, i wouldn't mind, i just don't know what type of job i would get. i am kind of open to anything except weirdly a coffee shop, i just don't want to do that. i spoke to my dad today about it and though he doesn't really understand why working through some of these deeper things in therapy is necessary he was supportive and agreed to continue paying my car insurance, the last thing he still helps me out with. i wish i could do it myself, but i am just going to be thankful and accept the help.
one thing that really stayed with me after i met with this lady was that after i basically spilled my life to her she asked me if i really felt these things or if i was able only to articulate them. i thought about it and realized that actually i was completely detached and numb, i think i have had to be, which is fine, because it is how we cope with things sometimes. i just realized, as i have kind of just simply existed through this christmas season in a cloudy almost just tolerating state, that i don't want to simply exist anymore and i want to really feel, even if it is the icky stuff. i am ready, super duper ready to start piecing it all together, i just wish that money wasn't such a daunting thing, something that could most definitely stand in the way.
i look forward to this year. truly. with anticipation, with hope, with a bit of anxiety. one thing that is for sure, nyc for new years is the perfect way to begin. here we go..
no mean posts...
one thing that really stayed with me after i met with this lady was that after i basically spilled my life to her she asked me if i really felt these things or if i was able only to articulate them. i thought about it and realized that actually i was completely detached and numb, i think i have had to be, which is fine, because it is how we cope with things sometimes. i just realized, as i have kind of just simply existed through this christmas season in a cloudy almost just tolerating state, that i don't want to simply exist anymore and i want to really feel, even if it is the icky stuff. i am ready, super duper ready to start piecing it all together, i just wish that money wasn't such a daunting thing, something that could most definitely stand in the way.
i look forward to this year. truly. with anticipation, with hope, with a bit of anxiety. one thing that is for sure, nyc for new years is the perfect way to begin. here we go..
no mean posts...