Wow! You Must Be So Proud Of Yourself.
Being "The Better Person" can't be easy. It must be incredibly taxing. I wouldn't know. What with me sitting here, just living my life and not talking shit over social networking sites. What's it like being such a good person? I would imagine, and correct me if I'm wrong, that you probably feel a constant, warm, and glowing feeling(from an invisible halo probably) from just being so gosh darn deep down good inside. I bet your father probably taught you that. Maybe from wholesome family dinners? There's probably not one ounce of deceit in you. I bet you've never cheated on your husband with not one, but two men.(ok three, but the third one kind of doesn't count, does he?) You never constantly delete your texts for fear of getting 'caught'. You totally don't chase around a man that clearly doesn't love you because you have tons of self-esteem and the whole married thing(with kids!). You never lead other men on for attention and then get upset when they want to be more than friends.....also, you're completely honest with them and let them know that you're totally not seeing another guy who's not your husband because you crave the attention so when they see you hanging all over the guy you're totally not going out with, it really hurts their feelings.(but you think they, the guy, stops talking to you for other reasons. not because you totally didn't lie to them) You would never wear clothing just to get attention. That is not the reason you wear such short dresses and over the knee hooker boots and all your tops bare your cleavage(you don't totally wear a special bra just to make your smaller breasts appears larger and fuller than they actually are) in such a painfully obvious manner. Whatever your reason, most likely really good and probably for the children, it's NOT for attention!!! You're probably worn out from having to enable me all time. What a bummer I must have been! Good thing for you that you don't have to deal with me anymore.(I totally didn't break up with you) Probably frees up your time to be even more awesome. Also, another awesome thing about you(among so freaking many!!!) is that you are sooo not shallow at all! I mean, I've never met anyone like you at all!! The way you totally can totally love a band no matter what they look like.(unless they're ugly) It's like you're an angel! Anyone can talk to you about pretty much ANY subject because you are so well versed on so many topics such as art, history, feminist theory, deconstructionism and so many more.(not just Rob Schneider movies and tequila) I mean, you really are someone to be admired. How could you not be?!