nm
well, I did it. I finally, for the first time in the 10 years since it happened, I cried. Oh, not much. I'm still so shaken....but I did it. I've spend the last 10 years in such denial that I haven't even really talked about it with the other person who was there. We've just cautiously referred to it as "that night" and quickly moved on. Yes, I've referred to it here. I've been brave ocassionally. Coincidently, my therapist and I were talking the other day about stages of grief. There's no set order and it's very normal to move between the various stages. But tonight? Tonight I am PISSED. Now, I'm not great with words. Can't make you laugh like Abbey or find masterbatory phrases like Thanfiction, but I still feel it. I'm not so angry that it happened right now, so much as I hate how unfair it all is. It's not bad enough that it happened in the first place, there's something really horrifying about seeing it written by someone else. . I feel really exposed. Exploited. Again. And you know what? I'm not THAT hard to find. Abbey found me. And I put this blog on Jeanine's livejournal. But I promise you, he has never tried to contact me. He could've asked a number of people. But no. And I've never said to never contact me again. It's not that I particularly want him to. Or that I would believe his lies. It's the audacity. He likes to say that he's tried to apologize, that he wants to, that he respects privacy. BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!! Just another way to make himself appear the victim, while victimizing others all over again.