Sparkle had survived class. Field hockey, without... any of the rules of hockey? Sure. The kilt hadn't been all that bad, either. But then it was over, and all over again he found himself out of quick and convenient distractions. Which meant, all over again, he was exercising a complete and absolute failure to cope.
And what did Sparkle do when he was failing to cope?
Well, this evening it involved him dragging his sorry ass to Karina's room, where he thumped his forehead against the doorframe a few times, more than a little drunk and mostly just needing somebody to be miserable around. Being alone was too damn quiet.
“If you leave an indent of your head in my doorframe I’m going to laugh at you,” she said, without glancing up from her computer. What? She’d laugh at anyone who did that.
Karina twisted her head around to see who it was, then tugged her earphones out. “What happened to knocking, Sparkle?”
"Knocking's for people who aren't hopin' for a concussion," Sparkle shared, inviting himself in and just kind of standing there, awkwardly, just inside the door. "Can I come in?"
It was actually a little late for that question, Sparks.
“Except you, I hope,” she said, raising eyebrows at him, even as she shuffled over to make room for him on her bed. “If you’re still a vampire, and you try biting me, I’m not going to be held responsible for anything I do.”
Like, oh, say the sudden appearance of a Sparkle-sized block of ice, with him in it. ‘Fandom did it’ would totally work as an excuse, right?
“But yeah, sure, you can come in. Make yourself at home.”
Sparkle managed a nod, at least, eyes shut tight and shoulders shaking, and so much for whatever dignity he had left. He stayed hunched over the basket for a moment longer than need be, just in case, and then straightened up a little, numbly reaching for the water.
He wasn't going to let himself cry. He wasn't. But he was completely miserable and it showed.
Hell, he couldn't even bring himself to look up and make eye-contact.
"I'm fine I've never been better everything is fixed now it's okay it'll be okay except I'm not okay. I am not okay. I hate this island and I hate the messed-up shit that happens here and I'm so done, Karina, I am so done with this bullshit oh my god."
Oh god. This was... not anything like she'd expected from Sparkle and it was probably bad of her that her very first thought was to shut him down and turn the conversation into something easier to deal with.
Except that Sparkle was her friend, and he deserved more consideration from her than that, even though it made her uncomfortable.
Karina listened to him without trying to interrupt him. When he took a breath, she touched his shoulder and said, "I think you're answering questions I haven't asked. Who said you were fine?"
"Me," Sparkle insisted. "I said so. I have to say so, don't you get it? Because if I'm not fine then I'm that other thing, that fucked-up thing that people throw away like rotten garbage. That nasty, quivering mess that people have to hold their breath around that they wipe their feet after stepping in that they wash out of their clothes and scrub their hands raw over garbage. I said I'm fine because if I'm not, what good am I?"
He took a mouthful of water, swished it around, and swallowed.
"Disposable."
The water, in retrospect, was probably much better for him than what he'd been drinking all afternoon.
Sparkle looked up at stared at her silently for a long moment before putting the water down and pulling his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs and contenting himself to sit there in a ball on the floor.
"... Might be drunk," he conceded.
He wasn't touching 'not garbage' with a ten-foot pole.
"Uh huh," she said, sounding unimpressed. "Then you'd better be picking that water back up and drinking it before you get alcohol poisoning or something, jackass."
Karina didn't really want to insult him, not when he was so intent on insulting himself, but she thought it might be better to talk to him normally, rather than coddle him.
God, she hoped that was the right thing to do.
"Or, I mean, I guess you can be a Sparkle-ball on my floor, but that's not really something I think is good for you."
"Could be a Sparkle-ball on a different floor," he mumbled. "Like this floor, though. S'cooler."
It came complete with a friend who probably wouldn't let him choke on his own vomit. For some hazy reason that he couldn't completely work out, that actually seemed important, this evening.
"I'm being stupid, right? This is stupid. I need... I need to not care. Sparkle, who doesn't care. It's got a ring to it, right?"
"Not really," she said honestly, hovering and not sure what to do. Should she sit down? Hug him? Try to get him to eat something?
... all of the above?
Karina settled for standing awkwardly, one hand fiddling with the hem of her shirt.
"I don't think you're being stupid either," she added, a bit belatedly, "but then I don't know what you think you're being stupid about. You could tell me, and I could tell you how dumb you're being."
"You're Sparkle-balling on my floor when there's two perfectly good beds in my room," she pointed out, glad he was drinking the water at least. "You puked in my trashcan. There's already a lot of dumb going on. Hit me with it."
And what did Sparkle do when he was failing to cope?
Well, this evening it involved him dragging his sorry ass to Karina's room, where he thumped his forehead against the doorframe a few times, more than a little drunk and mostly just needing somebody to be miserable around. Being alone was too damn quiet.
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Karina twisted her head around to see who it was, then tugged her earphones out. “What happened to knocking, Sparkle?”
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It was actually a little late for that question, Sparks.
"Everything sucks."
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Like, oh, say the sudden appearance of a Sparkle-sized block of ice, with him in it. ‘Fandom did it’ would totally work as an excuse, right?
“But yeah, sure, you can come in. Make yourself at home.”
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... Sorry, Karina. Sparkle actually turned a little green at that and was now making a beeline for your wastebasket.
It was pretty safe to assume that he was no longer a vampire.
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Karina watched him for a moment longer before wrinkling her nose and getting up to grab a glass of water for him.
“When you’re done puking, use this.”
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He wasn't going to let himself cry. He wasn't. But he was completely miserable and it showed.
Hell, he couldn't even bring himself to look up and make eye-contact.
"I'm fine I've never been better everything is fixed now it's okay it'll be okay except I'm not okay. I am not okay. I hate this island and I hate the messed-up shit that happens here and I'm so done, Karina, I am so done with this bullshit oh my god."
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Except that Sparkle was her friend, and he deserved more consideration from her than that, even though it made her uncomfortable.
Karina listened to him without trying to interrupt him. When he took a breath, she touched his shoulder and said, "I think you're answering questions I haven't asked. Who said you were fine?"
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He took a mouthful of water, swished it around, and swallowed.
"Disposable."
The water, in retrospect, was probably much better for him than what he'd been drinking all afternoon.
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"Are you drunk?" she asked, resisting the urge to tell him that he probably wasn't legally old enough to drink.
Karina didn't think he'd give a fuck.
"Look, seriously, you're not garbage. You're not. Even if you're not fine, you're not garbage."
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"... Might be drunk," he conceded.
He wasn't touching 'not garbage' with a ten-foot pole.
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Karina didn't really want to insult him, not when he was so intent on insulting himself, but she thought it might be better to talk to him normally, rather than coddle him.
God, she hoped that was the right thing to do.
"Or, I mean, I guess you can be a Sparkle-ball on my floor, but that's not really something I think is good for you."
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"Could be a Sparkle-ball on a different floor," he mumbled. "Like this floor, though. S'cooler."
It came complete with a friend who probably wouldn't let him choke on his own vomit. For some hazy reason that he couldn't completely work out, that actually seemed important, this evening.
"I'm being stupid, right? This is stupid. I need... I need to not care. Sparkle, who doesn't care. It's got a ring to it, right?"
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... all of the above?
Karina settled for standing awkwardly, one hand fiddling with the hem of her shirt.
"I don't think you're being stupid either," she added, a bit belatedly, "but then I don't know what you think you're being stupid about. You could tell me, and I could tell you how dumb you're being."
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He reached for the water again. See? He was being good.
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And she'd try not to hit back? Or something?
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