Bits and Pieces: I Think I'm Broken
Title: I Think I'm Broken
Summary: Still on the long road to recovery, Jack’s insecurities come to the surface.
Timeframe: Post ‘Changes.’
Characters/Pairing: Jack/Sam
Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Angst
Rating: G
Started: July 27, 2011 Finished: Sept. 8, 2011
I Think I’m Broken
“I think I’m broken,” Jack says as she finds him sitting on the kitchen floor one morning. Dorothy is lying next to his stretched out legs like she’s there to protect him.
For a moment Sam is speechless, taking in how Jack is so much more aware of himself now than he’s been since his accident. It’s taken nearly two years, his special Ancient gene, and an alien medical pod to get him to this point. She’s grateful, but also sad now that he knows he isn’t the way he once was.
She moves to sit beside him, leaning back against the counter. “You are not broken, Jack.” Sam puts her hand on his knee. He looks at her, a disbelieving expression on his face. “You’re different now, and it’s okay to be different. You’re still you.”
He stares at her for a long moment, and she can tell that his focus is waning. She finds that he is very distractible these days, his attention often scattered. But he’s still getting better, Janet tells Sam, and she believes her. Janet has brought him this far, she has no reason to doubt her doctor friend now.
The medical pod the Tok’ra used gave Jack’s system a significant boost, and Janet is confident that his own special genes will push him the rest of the way. As much as possible, anyway. They know there is some damage that will probably never be repaired, and Jack will still suffer some deficits from his brain injury, but that doesn’t matter to those that love him. Jack is getting better all the time, he’s just the only one who can’t really see it.
He reaches out to lightly stroke Dorothy’s side, his expression unreadable. Sam thinks he might be getting flashes of memory again. It’s been happening a lot since he was in the pod.
“Jack?” she questions, giving his knee a little squeeze where her hand rests. He turns to her and she looks at him entreatingly. “Do you remember your accident at all?” Sam knows this has the potential to be a loaded question, that it might upset him, but she takes the risk and asks anyway.
He shrugs and glances away again, staring blankly at her hand on his leg and then covering it with his own. “Not…really.” She catches the brief clenching of his jaw, the way his fingers clench briefly atop her own. His other hand stills on Dorothy’s side. “You weren’t there…”
Sam nods sadly, her throat constricting. “That’s right, Jack. I wasn’t there when it happened.” A part of her feels guilty, like she could have prevented him getting hurt if she’d been there. But then again, she would have probably been in that tent working with the scientists. She’d be dead, and unable to be with Jack now. Her heart thuds a little harder in her chest as she thinks about not having this with him. Not being here to see Jack through his struggles and triumphs at all.
“I got…hurt,” he mumbles, still not looking at her. “You weren’t there…and I…got hurt.”
“I know,” Sam says, feeling her throat constricting with emotion again. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, Jack.”
Jack cocks his head with surprise and gives her a funny look. He picks up her hand and pulls it to his chest, cradling it. “Not your…fault, Sam,” he insists.
She tries to believe him, wants to, and knows that logically, it really isn’t her fault. But the guilt is still there, floating just beneath the surface.
“You’re here…now,” Jack tells her, quirking a small smile. “That…matters.”
Sam closes her eyes and tries not to cry. Her emotions have a way of coming out from under cover around Jack more often than not. “You’re here, too, Jack. And you’re getting better every day. And I love you no matter what, okay?”
He tilts his head again, leans on her, then reaches toward his legs and absently gives Dorothy a scratch with his free hand.
Sam cranes her neck to kiss the top of Jack’s head. He’s not broken, or damaged, or a partial person in her eyes, and Sam will do everything in her power to keep reminding him of that.
.
Summary: Still on the long road to recovery, Jack’s insecurities come to the surface.
Timeframe: Post ‘Changes.’
Characters/Pairing: Jack/Sam
Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Angst
Rating: G
Started: July 27, 2011 Finished: Sept. 8, 2011
I Think I’m Broken
“I think I’m broken,” Jack says as she finds him sitting on the kitchen floor one morning. Dorothy is lying next to his stretched out legs like she’s there to protect him.
For a moment Sam is speechless, taking in how Jack is so much more aware of himself now than he’s been since his accident. It’s taken nearly two years, his special Ancient gene, and an alien medical pod to get him to this point. She’s grateful, but also sad now that he knows he isn’t the way he once was.
She moves to sit beside him, leaning back against the counter. “You are not broken, Jack.” Sam puts her hand on his knee. He looks at her, a disbelieving expression on his face. “You’re different now, and it’s okay to be different. You’re still you.”
He stares at her for a long moment, and she can tell that his focus is waning. She finds that he is very distractible these days, his attention often scattered. But he’s still getting better, Janet tells Sam, and she believes her. Janet has brought him this far, she has no reason to doubt her doctor friend now.
The medical pod the Tok’ra used gave Jack’s system a significant boost, and Janet is confident that his own special genes will push him the rest of the way. As much as possible, anyway. They know there is some damage that will probably never be repaired, and Jack will still suffer some deficits from his brain injury, but that doesn’t matter to those that love him. Jack is getting better all the time, he’s just the only one who can’t really see it.
He reaches out to lightly stroke Dorothy’s side, his expression unreadable. Sam thinks he might be getting flashes of memory again. It’s been happening a lot since he was in the pod.
“Jack?” she questions, giving his knee a little squeeze where her hand rests. He turns to her and she looks at him entreatingly. “Do you remember your accident at all?” Sam knows this has the potential to be a loaded question, that it might upset him, but she takes the risk and asks anyway.
He shrugs and glances away again, staring blankly at her hand on his leg and then covering it with his own. “Not…really.” She catches the brief clenching of his jaw, the way his fingers clench briefly atop her own. His other hand stills on Dorothy’s side. “You weren’t there…”
Sam nods sadly, her throat constricting. “That’s right, Jack. I wasn’t there when it happened.” A part of her feels guilty, like she could have prevented him getting hurt if she’d been there. But then again, she would have probably been in that tent working with the scientists. She’d be dead, and unable to be with Jack now. Her heart thuds a little harder in her chest as she thinks about not having this with him. Not being here to see Jack through his struggles and triumphs at all.
“I got…hurt,” he mumbles, still not looking at her. “You weren’t there…and I…got hurt.”
“I know,” Sam says, feeling her throat constricting with emotion again. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, Jack.”
Jack cocks his head with surprise and gives her a funny look. He picks up her hand and pulls it to his chest, cradling it. “Not your…fault, Sam,” he insists.
She tries to believe him, wants to, and knows that logically, it really isn’t her fault. But the guilt is still there, floating just beneath the surface.
“You’re here…now,” Jack tells her, quirking a small smile. “That…matters.”
Sam closes her eyes and tries not to cry. Her emotions have a way of coming out from under cover around Jack more often than not. “You’re here, too, Jack. And you’re getting better every day. And I love you no matter what, okay?”
He tilts his head again, leans on her, then reaches toward his legs and absently gives Dorothy a scratch with his free hand.
Sam cranes her neck to kiss the top of Jack’s head. He’s not broken, or damaged, or a partial person in her eyes, and Sam will do everything in her power to keep reminding him of that.
.