Transitions (9/12)
Title: Transitions (9/12)
Summary: Sequel to " Changes"Jack and Sam's relationship grows, going through it's ups and downs with a little help from their SGC family. SamJack, DanielJanet.
Timeframe: Takes place approximately one year after "Changes".
Characters/Pairing: Established SamJack, established DanielJanet, Team, Cassie
Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Romance
Rating: T
Chapter Nine: Traversing Bumpy Roads
It was a couple of hours before Jack's test results were in. After the scans, he'd gone to rest in a private infirmary room, still a bit nauseas from the concussion and not quite having an appetite. When Janet received the information from the tests, she'd had to double check the results, unable to really believe what she was looking at. With a heavy heart and determination in her steps, Fraiser went to see General Hammond before speaking with her patient.
Janet stood outside the General's office and knocked on the doorframe.
He was at his desk, looking through some papers as he absently answered, "Come."
"Sir," Janet spoke up steadily as she stood in front of his desk, hands clasped in front of her.
Hammond looked up, his brows furrowing when he looked at her. Janet guessed that she wasn't who he'd been expecting in his office, especially considering she was still wearing civilian attire and technically off duty. "What can I do for you, Doctor?"
She took a steady breath, her fingers tugging absently at the fabric of her light blue sweater. "General, would it be at all possible for Sam to be extracted from her current mission?"
The General's eyes narrowed slightly. He set his pen down. "For what reason?"
"It's Colonel O'Neill, sir." Janet said softly.
Hammond sighed, his head lowering slightly. "Doctor, both Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill understand that their personal lives cannot interfere with their duties. I can send a message to Major Carter during their next check-in and let her know how Jack's doing."
Janet's jaw clenched and she briefly closed her eyes, but continued on determinedly. "He needs surgery, sir."
"What?" the older man spluttered with a gasp. He set the papers on his desk aside and leaned back in the leather chair. "I thought it was just a concussion?"
Her head shook from side to side. "Jack needs surgery. I discovered something unsettling in his latest scans, sir. It appears as though the bit of shrapnel we left in his brain has shifted, and a significant amount of scar tissue is now surrounding it. I think this may be contributing to the intensity of his latest episodes."
General Hammond looked at her seriously. "Is there any reason this didn't show up on previous scans?"
Janet lowered her head slightly and sighed. "The last scans taken were about a month ago. There was no indication that the shrapnel had moved at that time."
Nodding, the General said, "How soon would you need to do the surgery?"
She smiled tightly at him. "I'd like to wait for some of the swelling from the concussion to go down, but the surgery can take place tomorrow, sir. It's not urgent as of yet. I also believe that both Sam and Jack would benefit from sharing one-another's company until that time, General."
"Alright," the older man sighed heavily and stroked a hand over his bald head, nodding compassionately. He checked the clock on the wall. "SG-1 isn't scheduled for another check-in for two more hours, but I can send Major Castleman and SG-5 in to retrieve Major Carter."
"Thank you, sir."
-
Janet briefly explained the circumstances of Jack's upcoming surgery to Sam, as she walked with the Major from the gate room to the infirmary level. The other woman looked as though she wanted to cry, and Janet put a soothing hand on her friend's back as she paused just outside the door to the private room. "Sam?"
Taking a deep breath, Sam briefly closed her eyes to compose herself and then let it out slowly. "I'm okay." She reached for the door, but couldn't seem to bring herself to open it yet. "How's Jack?"
Janet smiled tightly with sympathy. "Cassie's with him right now. He's okay for the moment, as far as I can tell. The seizure and the concussion has just left him a bit tired."
Sam grimaced, still not opening the door. She was staring at her hand, ready to push the door open, but still not doing it. "And when you told him he's going to need surgery?"
This time, Janet couldn't prevent her frown. "He didn't have much to say," she revealed softly, and by looking into Sam's eyes, it was obvious they both knew some of the thoughts that had to be running through Jack's mind.
Nodding, Sam took another deep breath before walking through the door.
-
Jack looked over almost immediately as Sam entered his room. He was attached to wires and leads from the nearby EEG machine. She smiled gently at him, and even as he sent her a crooked grin, she could see the incertitude in his dark eyes.
He was lying propped up against several pillows, and Cassie was perched on the edge of his bed, a notepad in her lap. From what Sam could see, it looked as though they'd been playing Tic-Tac-Toe.
"Sam," Jack breathed, suddenly looking as though he were surprised to see her.
"Hey," Sam came forward, nodding and smiling tightly at Cassie in greeting before her gaze returned to Jack. She was grateful to the teen as Cassandra gave up her seat so Sam could sit on the edge of Jack's bed in her place. "How are you feeling?"
He shrugged, his eyes not meeting hers. "I'm alright I guess."
Cassie set the notepad down on the bedside table and gave Jack a hug and kiss on the cheek before turning to go, giving the couple some privacy. "Bye, guys; I'll see you later."
"Bye Cass," Sam called after the teen, softly.
Jack looked over, raising a hand to wave with a barely audible, "See ya, kiddo."
Janet lightly tugged Cassandra out the door, and Sam and Jack were completely alone. Sam reached out her hand and lightly brushed her fingertips against the fresh cut above his right ear. "So, surgery huh?" Despite her lighthearted tone, she was terrified.
"Yeah." Jack breathed out heavily. He frowned, his eyes not quite meeting Sam's. She squeezed his hand. "Sam, listen...if something goes wrong-"
"Nothing's going to happen, Jack," Sam insisted, interrupting him and squeezing his hand harder.
He sighed, looking at her this time, and Sam was frightened by the anxious look in his dark, liquid eyes. "But if something does," Jack continued. "If it happens again, and I'm . . . different . . . "
Sam could tell it was difficult for him to go on. She remained quiet, letting him say what he needed to and knowing that he was talking about being mentally incapacitated again.
"I want you to know that it's okay for you to move on. I don't want to make you feel like you hafta stick around and take care of me, Sam." His gaze was deep and serious.
With tears in her eyes, Sam leaned over and hugged Jack tightly, her arms wrapping around him, careful to avoid the wires. She felt his arms go around her slowly, and then leaned back to grasp his face in her hands. "When I came back I didn't feel like I had to take care of you, Jack. I wanted to. And if it were to happen again, I'd still want to. I love you, Jack."
The wobbly smile he aimed at her was enough to get a few drops of tears to streak down her face. "I don't wanna burden you," he said softly in a whisper.
"You'll never be a burden to me. You never were," Sam tried to assure him, still holding his face gently between her hands so they continued to keep eye contact. "And nothing's going to happen, Jack. You're going to be fine."
He closed his eyes, both of his hands covering hers as he nodded. She knew he had to believe her as much as she needed to believe herself. Sam had to keep telling herself that everything would be fine. Jack was going to get through this surgery and everything would go back to being as close to normal as their lives ever got.
-
The morning of Jack's surgery, Janet went to prep him for the upcoming procedure and discovered that Sam was lying in Jack's bed with him, her body curled almost protectively around his. Sam's hand lay on his chest, fingers curled tightly into the fabric of the thin hospital scrubs he wore, and her head resting just beneath his chin. It was a heartwarming sight that brought tears to Janet's eyes. She knew this was just going to be more bumps along a very bumpy road for her two friends.
Pushing a cart into the room, Janet parked it beside the bed on the side that Sam was lying on, and gently touched her friend's shoulder. "Sam?"
Sam moved a little, snuggling closer into Jack's chest. "Hrm?"
"Sam," Janet called again, shaking her friend's shoulder a little. "Sam, you need to get up. I've got to prepare Jack for his surgery."
"Jack," Sam gasped, sitting up suddenly and opening her eyes, startling Jack awake in the process.
"Whus'wrong?" Jack murmured sleepily, propping himself up on an elbow.
Janet smiled and soothingly said, "Easy, now. Everything's fine." She directed her attention at Sam. "Sam, I just need you to get up so I can prep Jack for his surgery."
Sam's now-very alert gaze flitted from Jack to Janet. "Already?"
"Mm-hm." Nodding, Janet helped Sam off the bed while Jack began to sit up, becoming more awake. She reached for the bed remote to raise the head of the bed, assisting him. "Jack, I have to shave the side of your head for the surgery, okay?"
He rubbed at his eyes and made a face, reaching up to run a hand through his hair and frowning when his fingers got tangled up in the EEG wires. Jack sighed, gazing sideways at Sam where she now stood beside his bed. He worked up a crooked grin and muttered, "I needed a haircut anyways."
Sam straightened her clothes and reached out to squeeze Jack's hand, smiling at him lovingly.
"Sam, why don't you get yourself a shower and change into some fresh clothes while I get Jack ready?" Janet suggested, knowing that Sam probably wouldn't be going very far for a while once the surgery began. She noticed the immediate reluctance in the other woman's eyes. "I promise I won't even sedate him until you get back," Janet assured her friend.
"Go," Jack told Sam with a nod of his head. He smiled tightly. "I'm just gonna get a haircut."
Leaning forward, Sam smoothed back his hair and kissed him on the forehead before planting a brief kiss on Jack's lips. Janet felt like her heart was constricting in her chest. She admired how devoted they were to one another, and couldn't imagine the emotional turmoil she'd be going through right now if she and Daniel were in their positions.
"I'll be right back," Sam promised, slowly releasing his hand as she pulled away.
Janet's attention returned to her patient as she noticed the sudden look of confusion that flashed across his face. She stepped closer and touched his shoulder. "Jack?"
His brows were furrowed as his dark eyes darted around the room. "Where's Dorothy?"
Smiling, Janet swiftly reassured him. "She spent the night at my house. Right now I'm sure she's having a wonderful time playing with Teddy, rather than being stuck in the mountain all day."
"Oh." Jack sighed and nodded with comprehension. He glanced toward the buzzers and razor on the tray Janet had brought in and sighed again. "Okay, Doc, let's get this over with." Jack ran a hand through his hair one last time as though trying to memorize how it felt.
Janet helped him to sit up a little more, then moved around to the right side of his bed and went to work.
-
While a nurse was setting Jack up with an IV in the operating room, and the surgeons were scrubbing in, Janet took Sam by the elbow for a moment and led her just outside the doors. She knew this was going to be hard for Sam, and wanted to offer her friend some reassurances.
Looking concerned, Sam immediately asked, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," Janet assured her friend, calmly. "I just want you to know that Jack's in excellent hands. Dr. Carlysle is the best neurosurgeon the Air Force has to offer, and she's already quite familiar with Jack's case. She was the one who'd been flown in to perform the emergency surgery after Jack's accident. She's excellent, Sam."
Taking a deep, fortifying breath, Sam nodded back at her and smiled tightly. She then glanced back inside the operating theatre. "Can I go in and see him before he goes under?"
Janet touched Sam's arm cajolingly, offering her a warm smile. "Of course." She silently wished Daniel and Teal'c could have returned from their mission off-world as well, knowing both of them would have wanted to be there for Jack. They'd been informed about what was going on, and weren't too happy about having to complete their mission before being able to return home.
-
Sam smiled affectionately at Jack and absently began to glide her fingers along the now-bare skin on the right side of his head, tracing the old scar that was more pronounced without a surrounding of silver hair. She bent down to lightly kiss his lips, well aware of the audience they had and not caring. Her eyes were watery, but she held the tears back. "It's going to be fine," she assured him, whispering softly and bringing one hand down to grasp his.
"Yeah." He heaved a sigh and forced a tight smile.
She straightened, rubbing her thumb against his hand. "I'll be here when you wake up, Jack."
When he nodded, Sam was a little frightened to see the obvious disquiet in his dark eyes. He didn't think he was going to wake up as himself.
Janet came back into the room, all scrubbed in. As she glanced up and behind her, Sam followed her gaze to see General Hammond standing above in the observation room. She appreciated his steady presence, almost wishing her father was around. She felt the need to be with someone while Jack was in surgery, and Teal'c and Daniel were unavailable. Instead, she would have to settle for a distraction.
"Alright, Sam," Janet said to her softly. "You're going to have to leave now. You can go up in the observation room if you'd like," she told Sam while the anesthesiologist approached Jack.
Waiting around in the observation room with the General until after Jack had gone under anesthesia, Sam took a deep, steadying breath and hastily went for the door with watery eyes.
"Major?" Hammond's voice called after her, his tone low and gentle.
She spun, swiping the tears out of her eyes. Sam shook her head. "I can't . . . I can't watch this, sir. I'll be in my lab if anyone needs to reach me."
He nodded at her, and she was grateful for his understanding. "I'll send someone to retrieve you when there's news, Sam."
"Thank you, sir." She smiled tightly with appreciation and quickly left the room, not wanting to see the doctors cutting into Jack's skull. It was too much; she couldn't take it.
-
Three hours into Jack's surgery, Janet stepped into Sam's lab. Taken off guard, Sam jerked with surprise when her friend softly called her name from the open doorway. Knowing the procedure should take several hours, Sam's hands began to tremble with incertitude as she pushed back from her table and the microscope she'd been peering into. She tried to pick something up from Janet's face, but couldn't detect anything. "Janet?" she asked tremulously.
Janet approached her and lightly grasped her hand.
"What's wrong?" Sam's heart was racing, blood pounding in her ears. She thought she might throw up when Janet finally spoke.
"Jack seized on the table, Sam, but he's alright now. We got him back, and he's stable. Dr. Carlysle is continuing with the procedure." Janet squeezed the hand she was holding and reached for the other one, holding both gingerly in Sam's lap. "After the scar tissue and sliver of shrapnel are completely removed, we're going to insert a metal plate to reinforce the most damaged portion of his skull."
Sam nodded numbly, slowly taking everything in. She didn't know what to do. What could she do?
"Sam?" Janet released her hands and touched her shoulder, looking concerned. "Are you alright?"
"What?" Shaking herself, Sam ran a hand over her face and took a deep breath. She could feel her eyes filling with moisture. "I just... I..." She sighed heavily. "I don't know what to do."
With a consoling smile as Sam slid off her stool, Janet softly said, "You do know, Sam. Just be there for him, like you have been."
Breathing deeply, Sam followed Janet out of her lab, but headed in the opposite direction. She'd need another distraction for now. Sam didn't quite feel like eating anything, but she went through the motions, heading for the commissary anyway. Maybe she could do with a cup of coffee.
-
After sitting alone in the corner of the commissary for half an hour, slowly and robotically sipping at her coffee, Sam headed for Level 21. She stopped just outside the doors to the operating room where the doctors were still working on Jack, nearly entering their fifth hour of surgery, now. Dragging over a chair from a nearby room, Sam placed it in the hall and sat down heavily. She couldn't bring herself to watch the surgery in the observation room, or to even peek through the glass windows in the door, but she wanted to be close. The time she'd spent in her lab earlier hadn't been very productive. She'd spent much of that time being distracted and thinking about Jack, even though the familiar work was supposed to take her mind off him. Everything made her think of Jack; there was no escaping it. So she'd given in. Being just outside the operating room was semi-comforting, and as Sam straightened and leaned her head back against the wall, she began to drift off into an uneasy sleep.
She was awakened by the gentle pressure of a hand on her shoulder, and her eyes snapped open as she straightened, her bleary blue eyes fighting to focus on the figure standing in front of her. "Janet?" she mumbled in a sleepy rasp.
Janet smiled warmly at her and dropped the hand from Sam's shoulder. "He's out of surgery."
Sam jumped to her feet so fast, she nearly toppled over. "How'd it go?" she asked anxiously. Her heart felt like it was going to burst from her chest.
"The scar tissue and shrapnel were removed successfully. After that, Dr. Carlysle put in the metal plate and closed him up."
"But is he...?" Sam found she couldn't say the words. She couldn't ask, but she had to know.
"Everything went well," Janet said softly, giving Sam a comforting look. "But until Jack wakes up, we can't be certain if there's any residual memory loss or damage."
Feeling that tightness in her chest once more, Sam sunk back into the chair behind her. She couldn't relax; not yet. Slowly, she nodded as she felt Janet's hand return to her shoulder.
"He should wake in a few hours; then we'll know for sure." When Sam lifted her chin, she found Janet looking at her with a mixture of understanding and concern in her eyes. "We're going to move Jack into a private room. I'll have a cot set up next to his bed for you so you can get some decent sleep."
Sam breathed deeply, nodding and offering her friend a thin, watery smile. She doubted she'd rest properly, but appreciated the sentiment. "Thanks, Janet."
-
Chapter Ten
Back to Chapter One
Summary: Sequel to " Changes"Jack and Sam's relationship grows, going through it's ups and downs with a little help from their SGC family. SamJack, DanielJanet.
Timeframe: Takes place approximately one year after "Changes".
Characters/Pairing: Established SamJack, established DanielJanet, Team, Cassie
Genre: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Romance
Rating: T
Chapter Nine: Traversing Bumpy Roads
It was a couple of hours before Jack's test results were in. After the scans, he'd gone to rest in a private infirmary room, still a bit nauseas from the concussion and not quite having an appetite. When Janet received the information from the tests, she'd had to double check the results, unable to really believe what she was looking at. With a heavy heart and determination in her steps, Fraiser went to see General Hammond before speaking with her patient.
Janet stood outside the General's office and knocked on the doorframe.
He was at his desk, looking through some papers as he absently answered, "Come."
"Sir," Janet spoke up steadily as she stood in front of his desk, hands clasped in front of her.
Hammond looked up, his brows furrowing when he looked at her. Janet guessed that she wasn't who he'd been expecting in his office, especially considering she was still wearing civilian attire and technically off duty. "What can I do for you, Doctor?"
She took a steady breath, her fingers tugging absently at the fabric of her light blue sweater. "General, would it be at all possible for Sam to be extracted from her current mission?"
The General's eyes narrowed slightly. He set his pen down. "For what reason?"
"It's Colonel O'Neill, sir." Janet said softly.
Hammond sighed, his head lowering slightly. "Doctor, both Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill understand that their personal lives cannot interfere with their duties. I can send a message to Major Carter during their next check-in and let her know how Jack's doing."
Janet's jaw clenched and she briefly closed her eyes, but continued on determinedly. "He needs surgery, sir."
"What?" the older man spluttered with a gasp. He set the papers on his desk aside and leaned back in the leather chair. "I thought it was just a concussion?"
Her head shook from side to side. "Jack needs surgery. I discovered something unsettling in his latest scans, sir. It appears as though the bit of shrapnel we left in his brain has shifted, and a significant amount of scar tissue is now surrounding it. I think this may be contributing to the intensity of his latest episodes."
General Hammond looked at her seriously. "Is there any reason this didn't show up on previous scans?"
Janet lowered her head slightly and sighed. "The last scans taken were about a month ago. There was no indication that the shrapnel had moved at that time."
Nodding, the General said, "How soon would you need to do the surgery?"
She smiled tightly at him. "I'd like to wait for some of the swelling from the concussion to go down, but the surgery can take place tomorrow, sir. It's not urgent as of yet. I also believe that both Sam and Jack would benefit from sharing one-another's company until that time, General."
"Alright," the older man sighed heavily and stroked a hand over his bald head, nodding compassionately. He checked the clock on the wall. "SG-1 isn't scheduled for another check-in for two more hours, but I can send Major Castleman and SG-5 in to retrieve Major Carter."
"Thank you, sir."
-
Janet briefly explained the circumstances of Jack's upcoming surgery to Sam, as she walked with the Major from the gate room to the infirmary level. The other woman looked as though she wanted to cry, and Janet put a soothing hand on her friend's back as she paused just outside the door to the private room. "Sam?"
Taking a deep breath, Sam briefly closed her eyes to compose herself and then let it out slowly. "I'm okay." She reached for the door, but couldn't seem to bring herself to open it yet. "How's Jack?"
Janet smiled tightly with sympathy. "Cassie's with him right now. He's okay for the moment, as far as I can tell. The seizure and the concussion has just left him a bit tired."
Sam grimaced, still not opening the door. She was staring at her hand, ready to push the door open, but still not doing it. "And when you told him he's going to need surgery?"
This time, Janet couldn't prevent her frown. "He didn't have much to say," she revealed softly, and by looking into Sam's eyes, it was obvious they both knew some of the thoughts that had to be running through Jack's mind.
Nodding, Sam took another deep breath before walking through the door.
-
Jack looked over almost immediately as Sam entered his room. He was attached to wires and leads from the nearby EEG machine. She smiled gently at him, and even as he sent her a crooked grin, she could see the incertitude in his dark eyes.
He was lying propped up against several pillows, and Cassie was perched on the edge of his bed, a notepad in her lap. From what Sam could see, it looked as though they'd been playing Tic-Tac-Toe.
"Sam," Jack breathed, suddenly looking as though he were surprised to see her.
"Hey," Sam came forward, nodding and smiling tightly at Cassie in greeting before her gaze returned to Jack. She was grateful to the teen as Cassandra gave up her seat so Sam could sit on the edge of Jack's bed in her place. "How are you feeling?"
He shrugged, his eyes not meeting hers. "I'm alright I guess."
Cassie set the notepad down on the bedside table and gave Jack a hug and kiss on the cheek before turning to go, giving the couple some privacy. "Bye, guys; I'll see you later."
"Bye Cass," Sam called after the teen, softly.
Jack looked over, raising a hand to wave with a barely audible, "See ya, kiddo."
Janet lightly tugged Cassandra out the door, and Sam and Jack were completely alone. Sam reached out her hand and lightly brushed her fingertips against the fresh cut above his right ear. "So, surgery huh?" Despite her lighthearted tone, she was terrified.
"Yeah." Jack breathed out heavily. He frowned, his eyes not quite meeting Sam's. She squeezed his hand. "Sam, listen...if something goes wrong-"
"Nothing's going to happen, Jack," Sam insisted, interrupting him and squeezing his hand harder.
He sighed, looking at her this time, and Sam was frightened by the anxious look in his dark, liquid eyes. "But if something does," Jack continued. "If it happens again, and I'm . . . different . . . "
Sam could tell it was difficult for him to go on. She remained quiet, letting him say what he needed to and knowing that he was talking about being mentally incapacitated again.
"I want you to know that it's okay for you to move on. I don't want to make you feel like you hafta stick around and take care of me, Sam." His gaze was deep and serious.
With tears in her eyes, Sam leaned over and hugged Jack tightly, her arms wrapping around him, careful to avoid the wires. She felt his arms go around her slowly, and then leaned back to grasp his face in her hands. "When I came back I didn't feel like I had to take care of you, Jack. I wanted to. And if it were to happen again, I'd still want to. I love you, Jack."
The wobbly smile he aimed at her was enough to get a few drops of tears to streak down her face. "I don't wanna burden you," he said softly in a whisper.
"You'll never be a burden to me. You never were," Sam tried to assure him, still holding his face gently between her hands so they continued to keep eye contact. "And nothing's going to happen, Jack. You're going to be fine."
He closed his eyes, both of his hands covering hers as he nodded. She knew he had to believe her as much as she needed to believe herself. Sam had to keep telling herself that everything would be fine. Jack was going to get through this surgery and everything would go back to being as close to normal as their lives ever got.
-
The morning of Jack's surgery, Janet went to prep him for the upcoming procedure and discovered that Sam was lying in Jack's bed with him, her body curled almost protectively around his. Sam's hand lay on his chest, fingers curled tightly into the fabric of the thin hospital scrubs he wore, and her head resting just beneath his chin. It was a heartwarming sight that brought tears to Janet's eyes. She knew this was just going to be more bumps along a very bumpy road for her two friends.
Pushing a cart into the room, Janet parked it beside the bed on the side that Sam was lying on, and gently touched her friend's shoulder. "Sam?"
Sam moved a little, snuggling closer into Jack's chest. "Hrm?"
"Sam," Janet called again, shaking her friend's shoulder a little. "Sam, you need to get up. I've got to prepare Jack for his surgery."
"Jack," Sam gasped, sitting up suddenly and opening her eyes, startling Jack awake in the process.
"Whus'wrong?" Jack murmured sleepily, propping himself up on an elbow.
Janet smiled and soothingly said, "Easy, now. Everything's fine." She directed her attention at Sam. "Sam, I just need you to get up so I can prep Jack for his surgery."
Sam's now-very alert gaze flitted from Jack to Janet. "Already?"
"Mm-hm." Nodding, Janet helped Sam off the bed while Jack began to sit up, becoming more awake. She reached for the bed remote to raise the head of the bed, assisting him. "Jack, I have to shave the side of your head for the surgery, okay?"
He rubbed at his eyes and made a face, reaching up to run a hand through his hair and frowning when his fingers got tangled up in the EEG wires. Jack sighed, gazing sideways at Sam where she now stood beside his bed. He worked up a crooked grin and muttered, "I needed a haircut anyways."
Sam straightened her clothes and reached out to squeeze Jack's hand, smiling at him lovingly.
"Sam, why don't you get yourself a shower and change into some fresh clothes while I get Jack ready?" Janet suggested, knowing that Sam probably wouldn't be going very far for a while once the surgery began. She noticed the immediate reluctance in the other woman's eyes. "I promise I won't even sedate him until you get back," Janet assured her friend.
"Go," Jack told Sam with a nod of his head. He smiled tightly. "I'm just gonna get a haircut."
Leaning forward, Sam smoothed back his hair and kissed him on the forehead before planting a brief kiss on Jack's lips. Janet felt like her heart was constricting in her chest. She admired how devoted they were to one another, and couldn't imagine the emotional turmoil she'd be going through right now if she and Daniel were in their positions.
"I'll be right back," Sam promised, slowly releasing his hand as she pulled away.
Janet's attention returned to her patient as she noticed the sudden look of confusion that flashed across his face. She stepped closer and touched his shoulder. "Jack?"
His brows were furrowed as his dark eyes darted around the room. "Where's Dorothy?"
Smiling, Janet swiftly reassured him. "She spent the night at my house. Right now I'm sure she's having a wonderful time playing with Teddy, rather than being stuck in the mountain all day."
"Oh." Jack sighed and nodded with comprehension. He glanced toward the buzzers and razor on the tray Janet had brought in and sighed again. "Okay, Doc, let's get this over with." Jack ran a hand through his hair one last time as though trying to memorize how it felt.
Janet helped him to sit up a little more, then moved around to the right side of his bed and went to work.
-
While a nurse was setting Jack up with an IV in the operating room, and the surgeons were scrubbing in, Janet took Sam by the elbow for a moment and led her just outside the doors. She knew this was going to be hard for Sam, and wanted to offer her friend some reassurances.
Looking concerned, Sam immediately asked, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," Janet assured her friend, calmly. "I just want you to know that Jack's in excellent hands. Dr. Carlysle is the best neurosurgeon the Air Force has to offer, and she's already quite familiar with Jack's case. She was the one who'd been flown in to perform the emergency surgery after Jack's accident. She's excellent, Sam."
Taking a deep, fortifying breath, Sam nodded back at her and smiled tightly. She then glanced back inside the operating theatre. "Can I go in and see him before he goes under?"
Janet touched Sam's arm cajolingly, offering her a warm smile. "Of course." She silently wished Daniel and Teal'c could have returned from their mission off-world as well, knowing both of them would have wanted to be there for Jack. They'd been informed about what was going on, and weren't too happy about having to complete their mission before being able to return home.
-
Sam smiled affectionately at Jack and absently began to glide her fingers along the now-bare skin on the right side of his head, tracing the old scar that was more pronounced without a surrounding of silver hair. She bent down to lightly kiss his lips, well aware of the audience they had and not caring. Her eyes were watery, but she held the tears back. "It's going to be fine," she assured him, whispering softly and bringing one hand down to grasp his.
"Yeah." He heaved a sigh and forced a tight smile.
She straightened, rubbing her thumb against his hand. "I'll be here when you wake up, Jack."
When he nodded, Sam was a little frightened to see the obvious disquiet in his dark eyes. He didn't think he was going to wake up as himself.
Janet came back into the room, all scrubbed in. As she glanced up and behind her, Sam followed her gaze to see General Hammond standing above in the observation room. She appreciated his steady presence, almost wishing her father was around. She felt the need to be with someone while Jack was in surgery, and Teal'c and Daniel were unavailable. Instead, she would have to settle for a distraction.
"Alright, Sam," Janet said to her softly. "You're going to have to leave now. You can go up in the observation room if you'd like," she told Sam while the anesthesiologist approached Jack.
Waiting around in the observation room with the General until after Jack had gone under anesthesia, Sam took a deep, steadying breath and hastily went for the door with watery eyes.
"Major?" Hammond's voice called after her, his tone low and gentle.
She spun, swiping the tears out of her eyes. Sam shook her head. "I can't . . . I can't watch this, sir. I'll be in my lab if anyone needs to reach me."
He nodded at her, and she was grateful for his understanding. "I'll send someone to retrieve you when there's news, Sam."
"Thank you, sir." She smiled tightly with appreciation and quickly left the room, not wanting to see the doctors cutting into Jack's skull. It was too much; she couldn't take it.
-
Three hours into Jack's surgery, Janet stepped into Sam's lab. Taken off guard, Sam jerked with surprise when her friend softly called her name from the open doorway. Knowing the procedure should take several hours, Sam's hands began to tremble with incertitude as she pushed back from her table and the microscope she'd been peering into. She tried to pick something up from Janet's face, but couldn't detect anything. "Janet?" she asked tremulously.
Janet approached her and lightly grasped her hand.
"What's wrong?" Sam's heart was racing, blood pounding in her ears. She thought she might throw up when Janet finally spoke.
"Jack seized on the table, Sam, but he's alright now. We got him back, and he's stable. Dr. Carlysle is continuing with the procedure." Janet squeezed the hand she was holding and reached for the other one, holding both gingerly in Sam's lap. "After the scar tissue and sliver of shrapnel are completely removed, we're going to insert a metal plate to reinforce the most damaged portion of his skull."
Sam nodded numbly, slowly taking everything in. She didn't know what to do. What could she do?
"Sam?" Janet released her hands and touched her shoulder, looking concerned. "Are you alright?"
"What?" Shaking herself, Sam ran a hand over her face and took a deep breath. She could feel her eyes filling with moisture. "I just... I..." She sighed heavily. "I don't know what to do."
With a consoling smile as Sam slid off her stool, Janet softly said, "You do know, Sam. Just be there for him, like you have been."
Breathing deeply, Sam followed Janet out of her lab, but headed in the opposite direction. She'd need another distraction for now. Sam didn't quite feel like eating anything, but she went through the motions, heading for the commissary anyway. Maybe she could do with a cup of coffee.
-
After sitting alone in the corner of the commissary for half an hour, slowly and robotically sipping at her coffee, Sam headed for Level 21. She stopped just outside the doors to the operating room where the doctors were still working on Jack, nearly entering their fifth hour of surgery, now. Dragging over a chair from a nearby room, Sam placed it in the hall and sat down heavily. She couldn't bring herself to watch the surgery in the observation room, or to even peek through the glass windows in the door, but she wanted to be close. The time she'd spent in her lab earlier hadn't been very productive. She'd spent much of that time being distracted and thinking about Jack, even though the familiar work was supposed to take her mind off him. Everything made her think of Jack; there was no escaping it. So she'd given in. Being just outside the operating room was semi-comforting, and as Sam straightened and leaned her head back against the wall, she began to drift off into an uneasy sleep.
She was awakened by the gentle pressure of a hand on her shoulder, and her eyes snapped open as she straightened, her bleary blue eyes fighting to focus on the figure standing in front of her. "Janet?" she mumbled in a sleepy rasp.
Janet smiled warmly at her and dropped the hand from Sam's shoulder. "He's out of surgery."
Sam jumped to her feet so fast, she nearly toppled over. "How'd it go?" she asked anxiously. Her heart felt like it was going to burst from her chest.
"The scar tissue and shrapnel were removed successfully. After that, Dr. Carlysle put in the metal plate and closed him up."
"But is he...?" Sam found she couldn't say the words. She couldn't ask, but she had to know.
"Everything went well," Janet said softly, giving Sam a comforting look. "But until Jack wakes up, we can't be certain if there's any residual memory loss or damage."
Feeling that tightness in her chest once more, Sam sunk back into the chair behind her. She couldn't relax; not yet. Slowly, she nodded as she felt Janet's hand return to her shoulder.
"He should wake in a few hours; then we'll know for sure." When Sam lifted her chin, she found Janet looking at her with a mixture of understanding and concern in her eyes. "We're going to move Jack into a private room. I'll have a cot set up next to his bed for you so you can get some decent sleep."
Sam breathed deeply, nodding and offering her friend a thin, watery smile. She doubted she'd rest properly, but appreciated the sentiment. "Thanks, Janet."
-
Chapter Ten
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