Jaffa Jack: It's Never Easy
Title: It's Never Easy
Summary: Jack and Sam relieve some tension, making an unconscious effort to better their situation.
Characters/Pairing: Established Sam/Jack
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drama
Rating: T
It's Never Easy
The first time Jack made love to her since the whole Hathor incident, Sam doubted that either of them realized what had happened until afterwards. Sam hadn’t expected it, and she hadn’t been able to get Jack to talk about something he was so obviously ashamed about previously. She knew the thought of being intimate with her while his symbiote rolled around in his gut made him extremely uneasy. That’s why Sam had been so surprised that her husband had been the one to break down the wall that had between them where intimacy was concerned.
Jack had woken her in the pre-dawn hours of the morning, desperate for her touch. Sam hadn’t known what sort of nightmare had prompted his behavior, but she knew it wasn’t his usual fear of the symbiote he carried leaping into her. Jack had never reacted quite this way before.
Sam had just held him silently, sensing that he’d craved her comfort and warmth. He’d wrapped his arms around her and laid his head on her stomach. She’d stroked his hair, his face, his arm, and they remained that way for about an hour, neither of them speaking.
When Jack had suddenly twisted in her arms and lifted her tank top to place gentle kisses on her stomach, Sam found herself quickly responding to him. As he’d kissed her, slowly and sensually making his way up her body while simultaneously stroking along her sides with his skilled hands, Sam had returned the loving, affectionate gestures in kind.
It didn’t take long before clothing had been tossed to the floor and their bodies were naturally locked in a lovers embrace. Their lovemaking had been frantic and needy, but Sam recognized that it was something they’d both needed to break through that barrier.
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Sam sat up in bed, pulling the sheets to her chest as she watched Jack get up and stride naked (save for the bandage around his abdomen) into their bathroom, his form illuminated faintly by the light from the rising sun coming in through the window. Neither one of them had spoken still, and she was silently afraid that mentioning the progress that had taken place would somehow cause Jack to shy away from her further.
Sam didn’t know how to describe their intimacy (however brief it may have been) as anything other than progress. It had been a momentous step forward for the both of them as far as she was concerned. All she had to do now was make sure Jack remained comfortable sharing with her in this way now, like he’d always been before.
Slipping out of bed, Sam redressed in her pajamas that lay scattered on the floor, then padded toward the bathroom where her husband had disappeared minutes ago.
She found him with his hands braced against the sink, head bowed, and visibly shaking. “Jack?”
In his reflection in the mirror she could see that his eyes were clenched shut. His breathing was heavy and loud, and he made no acknowledgement that he knew she was there.
Sam placed a warm hand between Jack’s shoulder blades, frowning when he flinched marginally, but she didn‘t remove her hand. “Honey? Are you okay?” She wanted to hold Jack in her arms again and soothe him, though she knew not what demons haunted him now.
He allowed a jerky nod and leaned back into her touch, breathing more slowly. His shoulders sagged slightly as the tension was eased out of them.
She turned off the bathroom light and rubbed his back. There wasn’t anything she could say that would make everything alright. She was bothered by his symbiote sometimes too, but she couldn’t let it show, for his sake. Sam wasn’t trying to protect Jack or placate him, she was just trying to show him that it was okay. It was okay not to always be comfortable with the Goa’uld in his belly. It was okay to be angry, and it was okay to love and touch, and accept what had happened. It was okay to get on with their lives.
“Jack, come back to bed," she urged in a soft whisper.
Sighing heavily, he nodded, scrubbing a hand through his hair and opening his eyes. When he looked at her, she could almost see the bare hint of acceptance in those dark, soulful eyes.
Sam followed Jack back to bed, crawling under the covers and watching him as he bent to pick his shorts up off the floor and pull them on. It was still very early yet; they didn't have to bother getting up and preparing for work for a few more hours.
Feeling Jack shift closer to her as he got in bed, Sam rolled onto her side and buried her face in his chest as he they laid facing one another. He safely tucked her head under his chin and wound his arms around her, their legs twining together comfortably.
Even simple things like making love weren't so easy right now, but they were getting better, and Sam could live with that.
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