why do you need smack?
on friday night, i actually used the phrase 'sexual mathematics'. i'll be writing a self-help book about it soon.
saturday i drove to mandeville in the rain to find that some city-planning genius decided to re-pave my parents' street...the week of christmas.
fun!
the minute i got home i started feeling uncomfortable...nothing unusual. and when maria called and said, 'come over and watch the sound of music!', i almost did!
the next morning, my mom and i had a fantastic 'discussion.' same old crap.
apparently, i think it's weird and unsettling when people my age get married because:
1) i am not in a relationship
2) even if i were, my lifestyle prohibits me from understanding committment.
great. even my mom thinks i'm a skeez.
ouch.
it was pretty illuminating, i have to say. especially since i've been going around giving her so much credit for evolving or whatever...but apparently not.
sunday night was my little cousin's 11th birthday party. we decorated the garage at my aunt's new house with colored lights and paper lanterns. all the little kids came and danced. it was...horrifying. i spent most of the night hiding out in the living room with my other relatives.
seven little girls spent the night. i slept on a reject couch in the hallway and woke in the night half-way disappointed that no one was looming over me, drunk and asking me to move.
on monday, as a favor, i offered to drive one of the girls home because her mom wasn't feeling well.
this. was. a mistake.
the girl, without warning, vomited across my backseat.
according to big steph, this incident was entirely my fault.
VOMITED IN MY CAR.
all i wanted to do was watch the freakin' princess diaries, but my mom called and yelled at me and pretty much ruined it. which didn't matter too much as i was starting to feel just a little offended by the whole movie in that sickening s.w.m.n.b.n. sort of way
ultimately, i scooped up the kids took them to the car wash with me, drove them around listening to inappropriate dane cook humor, and then brought them in a bar to get cheeseburgers.
in other news, the stand-off between me and the big screen continues. i haven't used it yet. everytime i look at it, all i can see is a giant pile of cash on fire...all i can hear is big steph giving me a guilt trip about money.
THEN...i went in the music room to see a new, shiny, golden guitar in the middle of the room. my dad claims he's "had it forever."
cut me.
with love,
km
(stay tuned for the next installment...all about my afternoon with my great-aunts and the sheer terror of being forced to watch high fidelity WITH MY PARENTS.)
saturday i drove to mandeville in the rain to find that some city-planning genius decided to re-pave my parents' street...the week of christmas.
fun!
the minute i got home i started feeling uncomfortable...nothing unusual. and when maria called and said, 'come over and watch the sound of music!', i almost did!
the next morning, my mom and i had a fantastic 'discussion.' same old crap.
apparently, i think it's weird and unsettling when people my age get married because:
1) i am not in a relationship
2) even if i were, my lifestyle prohibits me from understanding committment.
great. even my mom thinks i'm a skeez.
ouch.
it was pretty illuminating, i have to say. especially since i've been going around giving her so much credit for evolving or whatever...but apparently not.
sunday night was my little cousin's 11th birthday party. we decorated the garage at my aunt's new house with colored lights and paper lanterns. all the little kids came and danced. it was...horrifying. i spent most of the night hiding out in the living room with my other relatives.
seven little girls spent the night. i slept on a reject couch in the hallway and woke in the night half-way disappointed that no one was looming over me, drunk and asking me to move.
on monday, as a favor, i offered to drive one of the girls home because her mom wasn't feeling well.
this. was. a mistake.
the girl, without warning, vomited across my backseat.
according to big steph, this incident was entirely my fault.
VOMITED IN MY CAR.
all i wanted to do was watch the freakin' princess diaries, but my mom called and yelled at me and pretty much ruined it. which didn't matter too much as i was starting to feel just a little offended by the whole movie in that sickening s.w.m.n.b.n. sort of way
ultimately, i scooped up the kids took them to the car wash with me, drove them around listening to inappropriate dane cook humor, and then brought them in a bar to get cheeseburgers.
in other news, the stand-off between me and the big screen continues. i haven't used it yet. everytime i look at it, all i can see is a giant pile of cash on fire...all i can hear is big steph giving me a guilt trip about money.
THEN...i went in the music room to see a new, shiny, golden guitar in the middle of the room. my dad claims he's "had it forever."
cut me.
with love,
km
(stay tuned for the next installment...all about my afternoon with my great-aunts and the sheer terror of being forced to watch high fidelity WITH MY PARENTS.)