Wowwwwwwwwwww who still comes on LIVEJOURNALLL!
No one... lol welll yeah since no one comes on here I'll just write on here. I'm surely living the college life and I absouletly love it. I thought I would miss home just a tad but I really don't. I'm kind of happy here but I still have those same doubts. Well I ever get a boyfriend like at all or have that one special guy that will actually like me. I mean it never seems like guys wanna "Get At Me" or any of that other stuff. So I just basically sit in my room sometimes bored and wishing that I had a boyfriend that I could talk to you know? But other than that I'm making friends out here. I have a tiny little crew lol just me Aalishah and Quinnissa. They are both real coo' and we get along just fine. I finally got to let out some of my feelings towards certain people and it feels so GREAT to not have to act FAKE anymore. I mean it just felt so good it was unbelievable. Then its weird because even though I'm miles away I have become closer to people in LA. Like Erica and Mercedes. Well it just seems like it to me. I mean I still talk to them and I thought it would fall off but it doesnt seem like it. Oh and Amber too. I really love this life. Like I am almost complete.
Recently though I have been having the URGE to be SOMETHING..FAMOUS. I dont know what it is but its just in me it feels like. I want to be so famous its ridic. I KNOW DEE 3 will be GREAT once we start to work. I know we will be. Just our one tiny session, it was SOOOO big for us. I know that we will be greattttttttttt. I don't care if people doubt or think we wont but I know it. I mean it's okay to try. That's why im in college just in CASE but I dont DOUBT us at ALL. Not anymore at least. I mean I might doubt myself at times. Like my fear is what if we make it..but I don't have any fans, and then what if like people want me out of the group and want to replace me with someone pretty???? That would hurt so much. But other than that DEE 3 is BOMB as fuck. I mean we got that shit. We just gotta get back home and WINTER break it's OVER. lol We are gonna murder that shit I promise you whoever is reading this.
I am supposed to be writing an essay but it's so hard because I don't know exactly what the professor is looking for. I mean she didnt even explain it correctly. But it's just a sample essay so it wont be graded. Thats GREAT to me. Next week in Public Speakin I have to give a Speech about something that has changed my life. I have an event right in my head at the tip of my tongue I hope that speech goes great. I mean my life seems almost perfect. I just need that balance so that I'm not sad one day and then the next I'm happy, or crying at night and then..well you know? I hate crying because of my looks. I hate looking this way,..being this way. Being told by people that "NO ONE CARES" and that "thats why no one likes you." That kind of shit sticks with me forever and it really hurts. Like big time. It makes me feel like I'm a horrible person and that my attitude sucks and that I'm just BAD. You know? Well let me go finish my essay!
Recently though I have been having the URGE to be SOMETHING..FAMOUS. I dont know what it is but its just in me it feels like. I want to be so famous its ridic. I KNOW DEE 3 will be GREAT once we start to work. I know we will be. Just our one tiny session, it was SOOOO big for us. I know that we will be greattttttttttt. I don't care if people doubt or think we wont but I know it. I mean it's okay to try. That's why im in college just in CASE but I dont DOUBT us at ALL. Not anymore at least. I mean I might doubt myself at times. Like my fear is what if we make it..but I don't have any fans, and then what if like people want me out of the group and want to replace me with someone pretty???? That would hurt so much. But other than that DEE 3 is BOMB as fuck. I mean we got that shit. We just gotta get back home and WINTER break it's OVER. lol We are gonna murder that shit I promise you whoever is reading this.
I am supposed to be writing an essay but it's so hard because I don't know exactly what the professor is looking for. I mean she didnt even explain it correctly. But it's just a sample essay so it wont be graded. Thats GREAT to me. Next week in Public Speakin I have to give a Speech about something that has changed my life. I have an event right in my head at the tip of my tongue I hope that speech goes great. I mean my life seems almost perfect. I just need that balance so that I'm not sad one day and then the next I'm happy, or crying at night and then..well you know? I hate crying because of my looks. I hate looking this way,..being this way. Being told by people that "NO ONE CARES" and that "thats why no one likes you." That kind of shit sticks with me forever and it really hurts. Like big time. It makes me feel like I'm a horrible person and that my attitude sucks and that I'm just BAD. You know? Well let me go finish my essay!