After the storm
Christmas has come and gone for another year. I spent plenty of time with my family as most of us do. We also have a family tradition of going to the home of friends of ours on Christmas Eve. It started probably 15 years ago, and it's been something that we look forward to every Christmas Eve after candlelight service.
This year during service I did a lot of reflecting. I have not had an easy year. I know some people who have had it worse but for me as much as I had a lot of rough times; being unemployed, losing friends, having my trust broken, feeling like my heart had been shattered, being in a car accident and the stresses that follow that, ailing family members - I came out of it with new focus and better health, and probably a better frame of mind than I've had in years.
I realized that being unemployed gave me time to heal from the damages done to my health and well being (working in a call centre has to be one of the most stressful and unhealthy environments to work in).
Losing friends, well I realized they weren't really good friends. If they had been good friends they would of seen how much pain I was in, instead I was used for their benefit.
My trust being broken made me realize I had given trust to someone that did not deserve it, they had never earned it.
That same person shattered my heart or so it felt like. Then I realized that I had held on to something and someone that had long ago released me and it was my own fault for sticking around.
The car accident made me grateful; grateful for airbags, grateful for free health car, grateful for insurance, grateful for the kindness of virtual strangers, grateful for my family, grateful for those that helped me out when I was without a vehicle, and grateful for my life! If I had been hit any higher up on my drivers' side I may have sustained far worse injuries than burns from airbags, a sprained hand, and bruised ribs.
Ailing family members make me grateful for the time spent with them, and then realize that I can't control everything, I can't adhere to a timeline.
I am now 40 pounds lighter, my blood pressure is down, my hemoglobin and iron levels are back on the rise, I feel better, I look better, I get told over and over that I have a glow about me now. I feel like even though I've had some heartache, stress and illness in my life this year, none of that matters. Don't dwell on it kid, don't take it with you, don't put it in a suitcase and carry it around; let it go for good.
I still look back on photos and have the occasional woo-as-me day but then I go, 'why am I holding on to this, I can spend my time doing something better'. I have become something better.
This year during service I did a lot of reflecting. I have not had an easy year. I know some people who have had it worse but for me as much as I had a lot of rough times; being unemployed, losing friends, having my trust broken, feeling like my heart had been shattered, being in a car accident and the stresses that follow that, ailing family members - I came out of it with new focus and better health, and probably a better frame of mind than I've had in years.
I realized that being unemployed gave me time to heal from the damages done to my health and well being (working in a call centre has to be one of the most stressful and unhealthy environments to work in).
Losing friends, well I realized they weren't really good friends. If they had been good friends they would of seen how much pain I was in, instead I was used for their benefit.
My trust being broken made me realize I had given trust to someone that did not deserve it, they had never earned it.
That same person shattered my heart or so it felt like. Then I realized that I had held on to something and someone that had long ago released me and it was my own fault for sticking around.
The car accident made me grateful; grateful for airbags, grateful for free health car, grateful for insurance, grateful for the kindness of virtual strangers, grateful for my family, grateful for those that helped me out when I was without a vehicle, and grateful for my life! If I had been hit any higher up on my drivers' side I may have sustained far worse injuries than burns from airbags, a sprained hand, and bruised ribs.
Ailing family members make me grateful for the time spent with them, and then realize that I can't control everything, I can't adhere to a timeline.
I am now 40 pounds lighter, my blood pressure is down, my hemoglobin and iron levels are back on the rise, I feel better, I look better, I get told over and over that I have a glow about me now. I feel like even though I've had some heartache, stress and illness in my life this year, none of that matters. Don't dwell on it kid, don't take it with you, don't put it in a suitcase and carry it around; let it go for good.
I still look back on photos and have the occasional woo-as-me day but then I go, 'why am I holding on to this, I can spend my time doing something better'. I have become something better.