Jan 30, 2005 20:25
Wesley and I had ventured out of the enclosed space that was now my home only to find arguments. I had moved away, quietly, observing it all with disinterest, until the leader by default - the Slayer - had ordered us back. Back to the room.
Back to the bed.
I waited for Wesley to begin his nightly poisoning of his body as I sat patiently on the bed. The words would come this time; he had deemed it so earlier this day. If they did not, then...
Then I was uncertain. I would speak the words he wanted me to say, certainly, yet... I was done. Tired. This untruth was pointless for us both, yet he ignored that.
No. No, I would be lying to myself if I were to believe the lie meant nothing to me.
I watched his movements, mentally counting how long it would take him this time to speak to me. He so loved to ignore my presence if at all possible; I was not blind to that fact. Yet the silence was as deafening as the screams within me from earlier.
My mouth opened, then clamped shut as I forced the words I was about to ask back down my throat, swallowing them silently. I turned my eyes from his form slowly, and waited.
I had become quite good at waiting, I was told by my guide.