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[not_the_s]

There was absolutely no reason that he should feel like this. None. Just because everyone else was getting all sorts of people from back home and he had Clark and Luthor. Lois, too, but she didn't remember him. He had Bart and Tim and Cassie and things should have been easy, but he still felt like there were things that he was being left out of. He

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[cantstopmoving]

Carrying up a cup of tea from Alfred, Dick heads into Titans Treehouse to find Kon. Bringing Donna to him was smart for Donna's sake and for Dick's, plus he took orders without question. No matter how raw he is, that needs to be reinforced.

He finds Kon...uncharacteristically quiet and still. Sitting on the couch staring into space. Dick pulls up a patch of couch for himself. Pulls up his knees and wraps an arm around them.

"Hey." His eyes are bruised and shadowed, but his voice sounds steady again.

[not_the_s]

It was only when Kon realized that he had company that he actually moved. He was fine, of course he was fine, and it wouldn't do to have anyone worry about him when he was fine. Especially not Dick. "Hey, Dick," he said, smiling a little. He stood up and headed to get a refill for his drink. "How's Donna holding up?" Alive. Thank god, alive.

He looked behind him. Dick looked worse than he felt. "For that matter, how are you?"

Maybe if he asked enough questions, he wouldn't have to answer any.

[cantstopmoving]

"Better than she should be." Because she trusts him, because Tim will take good care of her, because she won't die. None of that shows in his face when he sips his tea and follows Kon into the kitchen with his gaze. "And I'm about the same."

Better than he should be. Because Donna's here. Because he has Tim. Because Roy has Lian again. Because they all need him and keeping them together is what he lives for now.

So he's not deflected by Kon's questions. "Your turn. What's got you staring at walls?"

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What had him staring at walls? It was a good question and it involved a whole long and involved story. Somehow Kon had a feeling that he was going to have to tell it, but he tried to get away with the easiest answer: a part of the whole.

He shrugged. "Just Donna. I thought she was dead, you know? I mean, it wasn't that long ago, for me at least, that she... Well, you were there. You remember."

"I guess it's kind of like what Bart and Tim and you thought when you first saw me."

[cantstopmoving]

His gaze narrows, brows drawing together. "It must not have come up. I know I told Tim." Gaze lifting to Kon's, he rakes his teeth over his lip before resting his mug on his knee. "With everything happening at breakneck angst--" He quirks a tired, wry smile for the old, bad joke. "Nonstop since before you got here, we really haven't had much chance to talk, have we?"

He answers his own question with a small, dismissive shake of his head then tips it and his hand to the space beside him. "The last thing I want is to stare at the ceiling right now. Keep me company. We'll fix that." Assuming Kon will sit, he continues, "She came back. It took years and more mental trauma than even a Bat can withstand but she came back, after."

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"Yeah, 'not come up' happens a lot around here," Kon muttered under his breath before he was able to stop himself. He grabbed his drink and headed over to the couch, sitting at the far end away from Dick. "I didn't know that. I'm just...I'm glad that Cassie never had to live with that."

Not that he really wanted to talk about Cassie. There were only a limited amount of topics that he thought it was safe to talk to Dick about at the moment. Clark was off, Cassie was off, Luthor was off, Tim was off, Bart was off.

What did that leave him with? "And I'm really glad that she's here and safe."

[cantstopmoving]

"I've been careful not to mention it to Cassie. Donna can tell her if she decides to, but I think it's for the best to keep that to ourselves." He gets that out of the way first. After the incident with Dinah, he's learned not to assume Kon will think like a Bat when it comes to information flow.

"Compared to home, we keep it pretty transparent here. What sort of things are 'not coming up'?" If Kon's muttering about it, it may be why he's staring into space. Even if it's not, Dick should probably know about it.

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Kon lifted an eyebrow. "I haven't told her either, you know. And do you really think I'm stupid enough to tell her that Donna died?" No, he'd already made enough mistakes with Cassie. He wasn't going to make another. Not that big.

"Just two years. Almost my entire life, y'know? It's a lot to catch up on." Especially when he kept having to fumble around and try to figure out what was going on with his friends that he might have somehow missed. Old problems that he knew nothing about.

"It's fine, Dick."

[cantstopmoving]

Something's definitely bothering Kon. Even as raw as he is, he's sure that Kon overreacted to that. Defensive. He turns his cup on his knee, balancing it, then stretches his arm along the back of the couch. "I don't think you're stupid at all. Impulsive, occasionally, but not stupid." Clark's no slouch and he's got Luthor's DNA. So, definitely not stupid. "Just sharing my position."

About the two years, he can guess. Tim's life here on the island. Tim and Bart. He nods, acknowledging. "It's hard. I lost two years with Tim in both directions." And two years, six months with Donna. Almost that much with Roy. Lois and Dinah and he weren't even from the same universes.

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"Yeah, but you're old." It was part teasing and part something about Dick. "Old Man." Kon's lips twitched briefly into something resembling a real smile before going back to its previous 'go away, Cassie, I'm fine' smile. "Fine, two years is a long time, but Tim was what? Sixteen? Seventeen? Before I died. And you're twenty-what? I'm not even three. Two years is a lifetime."

Never mind that he felt older than that.

"Whatever. It's fine." He and Tim had talked and they'd worked things out, right? Kind of, maybe, not really.

[cantstopmoving]

Rolling his eyes lightly for the nickname, Dick drinks the last of his cooling tea then leans forward to set the cup on the table. "If you say it a few more times, you might believe it, but I still won't."

He could debate fractions. 2/3, 4/27, 1/9. But it won't make any difference in the end. It's the content of the missing years, not the number, that's the problem.

"The truth is, none of us are fine." God, Roy - the thought tears through him, a muted, keening wail through the hollow spaces in his mind. But he shuts it down with the memory of perfect trust in Donna's bruised and battered face. "We do the best we can. We help each other. I can't do anything for Donna right now. So let me help you."

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"What, Dick? Do you want to know how Bart kissed me a few days after I got here? How Clark disowned me? How about how Lex Luthor was a girl for a few days and try to mislead me until Anatoly showed up? Cassie kissed someone not me when she was a guy after getting drunk." He hoped after. He really didn't want to think about it if she'd been sober when Eric had kissed her.

"Or, get this. My two best friends broken more than they usually are. Broken and not telling me a damn thing."

Kon looked amused. "I'm fine, Dick. I don't need any help. Tim and I talked a while back. It's fine."

[cantstopmoving]

Irritation flashes, hot, bright and obvious in his eyes before he reminds himself that Kon's a kid, hurting, has no one else to talk to and for much of his life never has. Sighing, Dick pushes a hand through his bangs and gives Kon a wry look. "Three and four. Do you believe it yet? I still don't."

None of the information Kon delivers surprises him. "Let's take those things one at a time, starting with Tim and Bart." Donna's better at this than he is. Roy, too. Dick solves the big problems, handles crises. Donna and... Roy do day to day. But day to day is what they are now, and this will become a crisis if he doesn't give Kon an outlet. "I don't know Bart well enough to tell you what to do there except what you're doing. Be there. Don't let him feel sorry for himself. Kick him when he's stupid. Eventually, he'll thank you for it. Roy--" His voice catches, but he moves on- "And I always did with each other."

Not now. He pushes the emotions back down and locks them away. "Bart remembers what you remember, so you have that to go on.

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Kon stared at Dick. "I know all that." Smack Bart around, be Tim's friend. Obvious stuff that he'd figured out by that first party. "That's not the problem. The problem is when the stuff that's none of my business keeps hitting me over the head. Jill telling me about her ribs like I should know. I didn't. I didn't have any idea and how was I supposed to see Tim's side of it when all I knew was what Jill could tell me? Or how about Nita and how she apparently slapped Tim? I still don't know what that's about. Then there's Xander and how he's afraid of all of you

[cantstopmoving]

"Five." If Kon knows all of this, then he's ignoring it when he talks to Tim, Dick would bet on it. He knows they talked the night of the Mardi Gras party, and he knows Tim felt fragile to him again after. "Has it occurred to you yet that Nita was talking out of turn? Jill's team and that's different, but Nita slapping Tim is about as much your business as it is mine Diana tossing you off the tower

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Kon shook his head. "You don't get it. I'm trying to play catch up and sometimes I wonder if it's..." He kept shaking his head. Maybe if he shook it hard enough, his head would get scrambled and Dick would stop asking questions. He didn't want to answer questions. He wanted to pretend that everything was fine and move on with his life. If he pretended hard enough, it always - almost always - sometimes always - a few times - went back to normal.

"I have been talking about me. I'm fine. I have Tim and Cassie and Karolina and Dairine and Bart and Jill and all of the other people that I know." He didn't consciously put them in any order. It was just the order of people as they came to mind.

Really, he'd already resolved what he thought he could. It just wasn't enough.