(no subject)
Other Auditors also appeared and, as they did so, it seemed that they had never really not been there. The dead greyness of the light merely took on shapes; they emerged like ships from a fog. You stared at the fog, and suddenly part of the fog was hull that had been there all along, and now there was nothing for it but to race for the lifeboats...
One said, There will be questions.
The Auditors hated questions. They hated them almost as much as they hated decisions, and they hated decisions almost as much as they hated the idea of the individual personality. But what they hated most was things moving around randomly.
"Believe me, everything will be fine," said Lady LeJean. "We will not be breaking any of the rules, after all. All that will happen is that time will stop. Everything thereafter will be neat. Alive, but not moving. Tidy."
One said, And we can get the filing finished.
There was one of those pauses when no one is quite ready to speak. And then:
One said, Tell us. ... What is it like?
"What is what like?"
One said, Being insane. Being human.
"Strange. Disorganized. Several levels of thinking go on at once. There are... things we have no word for. For example, the idea of eating seems now to have an attraction. The body tells me this."
One said, Attraction? As in gravity?
"Ye-es. One is drawn towards food."
One said, Food in large masses?
"Even in small amounts."
One said, But eating is simply a function. What is the...attraction of performing a function? Surely the knowledge that it is necessary for continued survival is sufficient?
"I cannot say," said Lady LeJean.
One Auditor said, You persist in using a personal pronoun.
And one added, And you have not died! To be an individual is to live, and to live is to die!
"Yes. I know. But it is essential for humans to use the personal pronoun. It divides the universe into two parts. The darkness behind the eyes, where the little voice is, and everything else. It is... a horrible feeling. It is like being... questioned, all the time."
One said, What is the little voice?
"Sometimes thinking is like talking to another person, but that person is also you."
She could tell this disturbed the other Auditors. "I do not wish to continue in this way any longer than necessary," she added. And realized that she had lied.
One said, We do not blame you.
Lady LeJean nodded.