Off Road Chapter 7
The election happened, but it didn’t muffle the corruption issues. Just like Yuri had predicted, Yoon Jinyi won and became the next president. She was angry, not because his father didn’t win, but because “He didn’t listen to me.”, but also glad because she could prove herself right.
The Woman Phenomenon Behind the Corruption
It made the headline. With large bold letters, and Sunyoung’s pictures when she got caught. Idly Changmin thought that it was great. People didn’t lost in the post-election euphoria. Poor Yoon President who had to take care of it right away.
Changmin decided not to buy the newspaper and just went to his car. Even if he didn’t read the news, he could hear it all. They confiscated An Sunyoung’s goods and her froze accounts. The amount of cash surprised Changmin, and it even didn’t included the ‘gifts’ yet, branded watch with diamonds which cost same as a house, jewelries sets, and yeah, that beach house.
Changmin rented that beach house five years ago, during break and he went back for vacation to Korea. It was a small house, but it had everything it needed, with a magnificent view to the beach. They sat on the sand, hearing the song of the sea, feeling the breeze blew the salty air, and watching the sunset.
Changmin would put his arm around her, held her waist close and just wished that moment would last forever.
Nothing such forever existed. Especially happiness. Or love.
It hurt just to think of that. How such sweet memories could turn into bitter ones and stabbed daggers to your heart.
Changmin had never loved someone but her.
The feelings he had for seven years just evaporated to thin air. Gone just like that. He couldn’t love anymore.
*
“Minah, this is Yuri,” Siwon said.
“Hello, nice to meet you,” Minah bowed to her.
Yuri bowed back.
“Yuri, this is my little sister I told you about.” Siwon continued.
Minah felt small beside Yuri. Her high heels made her taller than she already were. Her soft pink dress looked really feminine, her brown wavy hair was so soft and beautiful. Minah was just finished practicing, she still wore her hapkido uniform and hadn’t wear any footwear. Yuri’s fingers were manicured neatly, and Minah just hid her hands behind her back.
So his brother also knew this lacy dress lady? Minah saw her when she had lunch with Yoochun. Closer, she looked prettier and Minah really didn’t want to stand next to her.
“Minah, let’s eat. Oppa will treat you.” Siwon said.
“I… will go change. You go first, Oppa.” Minah said.
Siwon nodded. “Come on, Yuri.”
Minah came back to the locker room and looked into the mirror. Her hair was sticky and sweaty from practicing, she tied it into a ponytail and it was a mess now. Her eyes were small, unlike Yuri. Even after she changed, nothing really changed. She couldn’t be as beautiful as her. No wonder Yunho treated Minah like a little sister, she really looked like a girl. Not a woman, Minah thought, as she combed her hair.
She sighed. Of course… Yoochun would prefer Yuri over her. Everybody would do.
When Minah stepped out, Yoochun was there.
“Hi Minah! Do you want to eat together? I’m so hungry right now!” Yoochun said cheerfully.
“I’m… eating with Oppa.” Minah looked down.
“Can I join too?” Yoochun asked.
Minah thought that she should’ve left quickly so Yoochun couldn’t reach her.
“Minah?” Yoochun asked quietly. “Did I… did I do something wrong? Why are you avoiding me?”
Minah fumbled with the hem of her tshirt. “You can join if you like, Sunbae.”
Yoochun frowned, but let Minah go.
*
In the end, they had lunch together. Siwon, Minah, Yoochun, and Yuri. But Siwon and Yuri were leaving first. Minah had a feeling that her brother liked Yuri, but didn’t say anything. After all, who wouldn’t like her? But she was nice to Minah. She didn’t talk much, but she smiled and asked whether Minah would like to come with them too.
“It’s okay, Minah will stay with me.” It was Yoochun who answered instead.
“Maybe I’ll be home later, Minah.” Siwon said.
“Okay, Oppa.” Minah nodded.
“See you,” Siwon patted Minah’s head before went.
After the couple gone, Minah got up from her seat but Yoochun held her hand.
“Minah, can we talk?”
Minah had no chance but slowly sat back down again.
“Just tell me… what I did wrong to make you hate me?” he asked in a small, low voice.
“I… I don’t hate you.” Minah looked at her hands on the table.
“Do you… don’t like me? Is it because I kissed you? You don’t like it?” Yoochun moved closer to her.
“It’s just me, Sunbae. I’m just…” Minah took a deep breath. “I’m just thinking about it way too much. But of course it didn’t affect you at all.”
Yoochun put his hand on top Minah’s to prevent her from running away. “I don’t understand.”
“It was just a kiss, right? And I shouldn’t think strangely about that. I mean… it doesn’t matter to you, but I’m just…” she stuttered.
“It matters to me!” Yoochun cut her.
Minah looked at Yoochun confusedly.
“Do you really believe Yunho Hyung? Minah, I don’t just kiss girl here and there! Well, I kinda was… but not anymore!” Yoochun quickly added. “Because… I really like you!”
Minah blinked.
And Yoochun thought her eyes were really pretty. “I like you, okay. I mean… I looked at you just as a little sister, but… I know how hard it is for you. When I found out that your parents passed away already… and you only live with your brother, yet you still had this smile on your face. You have positive thoughts despite all of the bad things that happened to you. You are a strong girl and I like that side of you…” he confessed. “And I just want to be there for you to protect you…”
Minah started to blush again. “But… I’m still a girl in your eyes…”
“Yes,” Yoochun brought Minah’s hand to his lap. “A girl I want to be my girlfriend.”
Minah looked into his eyes.
“Now, do you want me to be your boyfriend too?” Yoochun asked hopefully. “Even if your Siwon Oppa will kick my ass I will take the risk, Minah.”
Minah giggled, and nodded.
It was the best yes Yoochun ever received in his life.
*
Yunho didn’t know what to do with Changmin.
His family went to the Shim’s house after the election, it was such a waste Mr Shim Ingeun didn’t win. But Yunho thought that he deserved it, especially after he mistreated Yuri. She didn’t want to stay home and decided to find a place for her own. Mrs Shim didn’t seem disturbed by the fact her husband didn’t win, and Mr Shim himself took the defeat quite well.
Yoochun gave him two musical concert tickets because he pitied Yunho and thanked him because of Yunho, and his unfortunate love story, he got Minah.
“Kim Junsu! You’ve heard of him? Doesn’t matter, he was good as hell!”
It was pricey and Yunho got the VVIP seats. He couldn’t just waste it.
“Do you want to go?” Yunho asked.
“If you want to, I’ll go.” Changmin replied.
Yunho sometimes hoped that Changmin would reject. Or said his opinion, instead of ‘if you do, I’ll do’. He didn’t have to agree to anything Yunho offered, dammit. It was like Yunho live with a robot with no feelings, but Changmin was worse than that. Because Changmin was a heartbroken robot. And it broke Yunho’s heart more knowing Changmin was breaking into pieces because of someone that he loved, someone that wasn’t him. The more you loved, the more it hurt. And Changmin hurt a lot. More than a lot.
Yunho sat on the comfy velvet seat with Changmin next to him. The orchestra started to play and the curtain opened. Kim Junsu was an attractive man in his 20s. Yunho didn’t expect someone so young, but when he started to sing, his doubt disappeared.
When Yunho stole a glance to his left side, he could decide whether Changmin enjoyed it or not. The younger’s expression remained the same.
During MC time, Kim Junsu pointed some couples, and envied about how intimate and lovely they were. Yunho did feel envy too. He wanted to curse the love song he sang, and he hated it even more because he sang it perfectly.
The melody turned slower mellower and he started to sing the ballad.
*
Changmin didn’t want to hear. But he couldn’t closer his ear.
With the erased time, I erase you
My heart that hasn’t reached you
It goes back to the sky, my dear
He couldn’t reach her. He could never do.
*
Though Changmin’s eyes weren’t on stage, Yunho could tell Changmin could feel the song too. How it sneaked to his soul and reminded him of the reality.
Yunho had spent quite a long time with Changmin to know him well enough. To know how his eyes lightened up when he was with someone he loved, how he blushed shyly and he couldn’t hide his smile. To know the look in his eyes when he was torn, betrayed, and deceived. That no matter how she hurt him, he still had the longing look in his eyes.
Maybe Changmin’s love was too strong to break. But he didn’t know. He never felt it. He wanted to pretend that they were lovers at night, that Changmin would let him sleep in his arm and hugged him when his nightmares came. But the next day, they would be nothing. What happened at night didn’t matter.
When Yunho realized it, how much Changmin felt for her, it hurt him too. He should be the one closest to Changmin, he was his fiancé, but it didn’t guarantee him anything. In fact there he was, struggling with his own feeling. In love in his own, all alone.
Kim Junsu’s voice mixed with the flood of thoughts in his mind.
I hope a love that is too painful
Was not love from the start
*
Their families had a dinner in a fancy restaurant. When Changmin called his name, Yunho felt happy, thought that finally Changmin was out from his quiet attitude. But he was just telling Yunho that their mothers planned a dinner together. Yunho wondered why, didn’t know what to celebrate, since Mr Shim didn’t win.
Yunho started to getting used to the Shim’s family, their quietness and all, since he lived with Changmin and Yuri had visited the academy more. He didn’t mind the silence, but Mrs Jung broke the ice.
“So when we will hold the marriage?”
Yunho choked on the fishbone and when he stole a glance, he could see that Changmin stopped eating.
“Marriage?” Yunho said, after he drank the whole glass of water.
“Yes, darling.” Mrs Jung smiled.
It never crossed his mind that they were going to get married.
Seeing the sons clueless behavior, Mrs Shim decided it wasn’t the time yet. “Just let them talk about it first.”
So that was what the dinner for, huh.
They parted ways in the parking lot and before they got in, Yunho decided to talk about it now. “Changmin-sshi?” Yunho carefully called. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.” Changmin turned his head and face Yunho, they were standing beside the car.
“What do you think about the marriage?”
The thing was, Changmin couldn’t think at that time. “What about you?”
“Why are you asking me back?” Yunho felt tired that Changmin always asked him questions he gave, instead of answering them.
Changmin sighed. “If you want to do that, let’s do it, then.”
“How can you easily decide it like that?” Yunho narrowed his eyes.
“It’s not me deciding it. We’re supposed to do it. That’s what my parents want, and what yours want too.” Changmin calmly said.
“Your father lost the election. We didn’t have to get married. Don’t you remember what the purpose of… this?” Yunho frustratedly asked.
“We’re engaged already.” Changmin stated. “That leads to marriage.”
“It doesn’t have to.” Yunho said.
Changmin took a deep breath. “My father wants this. If I do and he’ll stop asking me to do things for them, I’ll do it.”
Yunho couldn’t believe what he just heard. “So… I’m just a free ticket for you? If you marry me, then you’re free from your father?!”
“Why are you saying it like it was a bad thing? You didn’t object to the engagement!” Changmin started to feel emotional too.
“Do you think marriage is a simple thing?”
“Well, isn’t it?” Changmin said sarcastically. “We’ve gone this far. Nothing happened. We can go further.”
What do you mean by nothing happened, Yunho wanted to scream. Yunho received all the pain. How could Changmin do this easily? How could he just say yes because he wanted to be free from his father? “What… about… love, then..?” he quietly asked.
“Love? What about it?” Changmin asked coldly.
“You marry someone love…” Yunho’s voice was shaky.
Changmin felt tired. “If we were to marry, I have to love you, is that what you mean?”
“God, no!” Yunho shouted. “Have to love me? Love is not something you can force!” Yunho’s vision got blurry with tears. “If you think that you have to love me, please don’t!”
Yunho turned and walked away. Gosh, Shim Changmin! How could he be so low like that? Yunho kept walking, tried to clear his mind and held back his tears. He was a fool. A fool who fell in love alone. He hid himself in the shadow of a dark alley and leaned back to the bricked wall.
“Fuck,” he muttered in his breath.
Yunho didn’t expect this kind of fucking drama in his life. When he watched movies, sure he wanted a romantic kiss in the rain, a sweet confession written over a crumpled piece of paper, or announced in front of people. But just an ordinary love story was alright too. As long as they love each other. It was enough.
“I’m sorry.” He said.
Yunho could see Changmin’s boots standing in front of him, distance he couldn’t reach but he could hear him clear. Changmin followed him. Yunho didn’t expect that.
“I don’t know what love is. How do you think I suppose to do that?” Changmin continued.
“You don’t know it. You feel it.” Yunho said. “Just like your feelings to Sunyoung.”
Changmin stiffened and Yunho could sense it.
“When we had sex, you shout her name when you came.” Yunho whispered, his tears were unstoppable and he let them fell. “You love her that much, yet you still want the engagement, now the marriage. How can you do that?”
Changmin couldn’t answer.
Yunho held a sob. “I want this to be over.” I’m hurting too much and I hope this isn’t love. “Let’s just stop this.”
*
Changmin drove Yunho to his home. Luckily his parents had gone to bed and Jihye wasn’t in sight. Yunho didn’t bother to change and just laid on the bed.
He didn’t dream of the car crash.
He dreamed of a tall man with big brown eyes, walking passed him when he was just standing there, waiting for something that would never come.
The Woman Phenomenon Behind the Corruption
It made the headline. With large bold letters, and Sunyoung’s pictures when she got caught. Idly Changmin thought that it was great. People didn’t lost in the post-election euphoria. Poor Yoon President who had to take care of it right away.
Changmin decided not to buy the newspaper and just went to his car. Even if he didn’t read the news, he could hear it all. They confiscated An Sunyoung’s goods and her froze accounts. The amount of cash surprised Changmin, and it even didn’t included the ‘gifts’ yet, branded watch with diamonds which cost same as a house, jewelries sets, and yeah, that beach house.
Changmin rented that beach house five years ago, during break and he went back for vacation to Korea. It was a small house, but it had everything it needed, with a magnificent view to the beach. They sat on the sand, hearing the song of the sea, feeling the breeze blew the salty air, and watching the sunset.
Changmin would put his arm around her, held her waist close and just wished that moment would last forever.
Nothing such forever existed. Especially happiness. Or love.
It hurt just to think of that. How such sweet memories could turn into bitter ones and stabbed daggers to your heart.
Changmin had never loved someone but her.
The feelings he had for seven years just evaporated to thin air. Gone just like that. He couldn’t love anymore.
*
“Minah, this is Yuri,” Siwon said.
“Hello, nice to meet you,” Minah bowed to her.
Yuri bowed back.
“Yuri, this is my little sister I told you about.” Siwon continued.
Minah felt small beside Yuri. Her high heels made her taller than she already were. Her soft pink dress looked really feminine, her brown wavy hair was so soft and beautiful. Minah was just finished practicing, she still wore her hapkido uniform and hadn’t wear any footwear. Yuri’s fingers were manicured neatly, and Minah just hid her hands behind her back.
So his brother also knew this lacy dress lady? Minah saw her when she had lunch with Yoochun. Closer, she looked prettier and Minah really didn’t want to stand next to her.
“Minah, let’s eat. Oppa will treat you.” Siwon said.
“I… will go change. You go first, Oppa.” Minah said.
Siwon nodded. “Come on, Yuri.”
Minah came back to the locker room and looked into the mirror. Her hair was sticky and sweaty from practicing, she tied it into a ponytail and it was a mess now. Her eyes were small, unlike Yuri. Even after she changed, nothing really changed. She couldn’t be as beautiful as her. No wonder Yunho treated Minah like a little sister, she really looked like a girl. Not a woman, Minah thought, as she combed her hair.
She sighed. Of course… Yoochun would prefer Yuri over her. Everybody would do.
When Minah stepped out, Yoochun was there.
“Hi Minah! Do you want to eat together? I’m so hungry right now!” Yoochun said cheerfully.
“I’m… eating with Oppa.” Minah looked down.
“Can I join too?” Yoochun asked.
Minah thought that she should’ve left quickly so Yoochun couldn’t reach her.
“Minah?” Yoochun asked quietly. “Did I… did I do something wrong? Why are you avoiding me?”
Minah fumbled with the hem of her tshirt. “You can join if you like, Sunbae.”
Yoochun frowned, but let Minah go.
*
In the end, they had lunch together. Siwon, Minah, Yoochun, and Yuri. But Siwon and Yuri were leaving first. Minah had a feeling that her brother liked Yuri, but didn’t say anything. After all, who wouldn’t like her? But she was nice to Minah. She didn’t talk much, but she smiled and asked whether Minah would like to come with them too.
“It’s okay, Minah will stay with me.” It was Yoochun who answered instead.
“Maybe I’ll be home later, Minah.” Siwon said.
“Okay, Oppa.” Minah nodded.
“See you,” Siwon patted Minah’s head before went.
After the couple gone, Minah got up from her seat but Yoochun held her hand.
“Minah, can we talk?”
Minah had no chance but slowly sat back down again.
“Just tell me… what I did wrong to make you hate me?” he asked in a small, low voice.
“I… I don’t hate you.” Minah looked at her hands on the table.
“Do you… don’t like me? Is it because I kissed you? You don’t like it?” Yoochun moved closer to her.
“It’s just me, Sunbae. I’m just…” Minah took a deep breath. “I’m just thinking about it way too much. But of course it didn’t affect you at all.”
Yoochun put his hand on top Minah’s to prevent her from running away. “I don’t understand.”
“It was just a kiss, right? And I shouldn’t think strangely about that. I mean… it doesn’t matter to you, but I’m just…” she stuttered.
“It matters to me!” Yoochun cut her.
Minah looked at Yoochun confusedly.
“Do you really believe Yunho Hyung? Minah, I don’t just kiss girl here and there! Well, I kinda was… but not anymore!” Yoochun quickly added. “Because… I really like you!”
Minah blinked.
And Yoochun thought her eyes were really pretty. “I like you, okay. I mean… I looked at you just as a little sister, but… I know how hard it is for you. When I found out that your parents passed away already… and you only live with your brother, yet you still had this smile on your face. You have positive thoughts despite all of the bad things that happened to you. You are a strong girl and I like that side of you…” he confessed. “And I just want to be there for you to protect you…”
Minah started to blush again. “But… I’m still a girl in your eyes…”
“Yes,” Yoochun brought Minah’s hand to his lap. “A girl I want to be my girlfriend.”
Minah looked into his eyes.
“Now, do you want me to be your boyfriend too?” Yoochun asked hopefully. “Even if your Siwon Oppa will kick my ass I will take the risk, Minah.”
Minah giggled, and nodded.
It was the best yes Yoochun ever received in his life.
*
Yunho didn’t know what to do with Changmin.
His family went to the Shim’s house after the election, it was such a waste Mr Shim Ingeun didn’t win. But Yunho thought that he deserved it, especially after he mistreated Yuri. She didn’t want to stay home and decided to find a place for her own. Mrs Shim didn’t seem disturbed by the fact her husband didn’t win, and Mr Shim himself took the defeat quite well.
Yoochun gave him two musical concert tickets because he pitied Yunho and thanked him because of Yunho, and his unfortunate love story, he got Minah.
“Kim Junsu! You’ve heard of him? Doesn’t matter, he was good as hell!”
It was pricey and Yunho got the VVIP seats. He couldn’t just waste it.
“Do you want to go?” Yunho asked.
“If you want to, I’ll go.” Changmin replied.
Yunho sometimes hoped that Changmin would reject. Or said his opinion, instead of ‘if you do, I’ll do’. He didn’t have to agree to anything Yunho offered, dammit. It was like Yunho live with a robot with no feelings, but Changmin was worse than that. Because Changmin was a heartbroken robot. And it broke Yunho’s heart more knowing Changmin was breaking into pieces because of someone that he loved, someone that wasn’t him. The more you loved, the more it hurt. And Changmin hurt a lot. More than a lot.
Yunho sat on the comfy velvet seat with Changmin next to him. The orchestra started to play and the curtain opened. Kim Junsu was an attractive man in his 20s. Yunho didn’t expect someone so young, but when he started to sing, his doubt disappeared.
When Yunho stole a glance to his left side, he could decide whether Changmin enjoyed it or not. The younger’s expression remained the same.
During MC time, Kim Junsu pointed some couples, and envied about how intimate and lovely they were. Yunho did feel envy too. He wanted to curse the love song he sang, and he hated it even more because he sang it perfectly.
The melody turned slower mellower and he started to sing the ballad.
*
Changmin didn’t want to hear. But he couldn’t closer his ear.
With the erased time, I erase you
My heart that hasn’t reached you
It goes back to the sky, my dear
He couldn’t reach her. He could never do.
*
Though Changmin’s eyes weren’t on stage, Yunho could tell Changmin could feel the song too. How it sneaked to his soul and reminded him of the reality.
Yunho had spent quite a long time with Changmin to know him well enough. To know how his eyes lightened up when he was with someone he loved, how he blushed shyly and he couldn’t hide his smile. To know the look in his eyes when he was torn, betrayed, and deceived. That no matter how she hurt him, he still had the longing look in his eyes.
Maybe Changmin’s love was too strong to break. But he didn’t know. He never felt it. He wanted to pretend that they were lovers at night, that Changmin would let him sleep in his arm and hugged him when his nightmares came. But the next day, they would be nothing. What happened at night didn’t matter.
When Yunho realized it, how much Changmin felt for her, it hurt him too. He should be the one closest to Changmin, he was his fiancé, but it didn’t guarantee him anything. In fact there he was, struggling with his own feeling. In love in his own, all alone.
Kim Junsu’s voice mixed with the flood of thoughts in his mind.
I hope a love that is too painful
Was not love from the start
*
Their families had a dinner in a fancy restaurant. When Changmin called his name, Yunho felt happy, thought that finally Changmin was out from his quiet attitude. But he was just telling Yunho that their mothers planned a dinner together. Yunho wondered why, didn’t know what to celebrate, since Mr Shim didn’t win.
Yunho started to getting used to the Shim’s family, their quietness and all, since he lived with Changmin and Yuri had visited the academy more. He didn’t mind the silence, but Mrs Jung broke the ice.
“So when we will hold the marriage?”
Yunho choked on the fishbone and when he stole a glance, he could see that Changmin stopped eating.
“Marriage?” Yunho said, after he drank the whole glass of water.
“Yes, darling.” Mrs Jung smiled.
It never crossed his mind that they were going to get married.
Seeing the sons clueless behavior, Mrs Shim decided it wasn’t the time yet. “Just let them talk about it first.”
So that was what the dinner for, huh.
They parted ways in the parking lot and before they got in, Yunho decided to talk about it now. “Changmin-sshi?” Yunho carefully called. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.” Changmin turned his head and face Yunho, they were standing beside the car.
“What do you think about the marriage?”
The thing was, Changmin couldn’t think at that time. “What about you?”
“Why are you asking me back?” Yunho felt tired that Changmin always asked him questions he gave, instead of answering them.
Changmin sighed. “If you want to do that, let’s do it, then.”
“How can you easily decide it like that?” Yunho narrowed his eyes.
“It’s not me deciding it. We’re supposed to do it. That’s what my parents want, and what yours want too.” Changmin calmly said.
“Your father lost the election. We didn’t have to get married. Don’t you remember what the purpose of… this?” Yunho frustratedly asked.
“We’re engaged already.” Changmin stated. “That leads to marriage.”
“It doesn’t have to.” Yunho said.
Changmin took a deep breath. “My father wants this. If I do and he’ll stop asking me to do things for them, I’ll do it.”
Yunho couldn’t believe what he just heard. “So… I’m just a free ticket for you? If you marry me, then you’re free from your father?!”
“Why are you saying it like it was a bad thing? You didn’t object to the engagement!” Changmin started to feel emotional too.
“Do you think marriage is a simple thing?”
“Well, isn’t it?” Changmin said sarcastically. “We’ve gone this far. Nothing happened. We can go further.”
What do you mean by nothing happened, Yunho wanted to scream. Yunho received all the pain. How could Changmin do this easily? How could he just say yes because he wanted to be free from his father? “What… about… love, then..?” he quietly asked.
“Love? What about it?” Changmin asked coldly.
“You marry someone love…” Yunho’s voice was shaky.
Changmin felt tired. “If we were to marry, I have to love you, is that what you mean?”
“God, no!” Yunho shouted. “Have to love me? Love is not something you can force!” Yunho’s vision got blurry with tears. “If you think that you have to love me, please don’t!”
Yunho turned and walked away. Gosh, Shim Changmin! How could he be so low like that? Yunho kept walking, tried to clear his mind and held back his tears. He was a fool. A fool who fell in love alone. He hid himself in the shadow of a dark alley and leaned back to the bricked wall.
“Fuck,” he muttered in his breath.
Yunho didn’t expect this kind of fucking drama in his life. When he watched movies, sure he wanted a romantic kiss in the rain, a sweet confession written over a crumpled piece of paper, or announced in front of people. But just an ordinary love story was alright too. As long as they love each other. It was enough.
“I’m sorry.” He said.
Yunho could see Changmin’s boots standing in front of him, distance he couldn’t reach but he could hear him clear. Changmin followed him. Yunho didn’t expect that.
“I don’t know what love is. How do you think I suppose to do that?” Changmin continued.
“You don’t know it. You feel it.” Yunho said. “Just like your feelings to Sunyoung.”
Changmin stiffened and Yunho could sense it.
“When we had sex, you shout her name when you came.” Yunho whispered, his tears were unstoppable and he let them fell. “You love her that much, yet you still want the engagement, now the marriage. How can you do that?”
Changmin couldn’t answer.
Yunho held a sob. “I want this to be over.” I’m hurting too much and I hope this isn’t love. “Let’s just stop this.”
*
Changmin drove Yunho to his home. Luckily his parents had gone to bed and Jihye wasn’t in sight. Yunho didn’t bother to change and just laid on the bed.
He didn’t dream of the car crash.
He dreamed of a tall man with big brown eyes, walking passed him when he was just standing there, waiting for something that would never come.