Midnight drive
Characters: Lindsey McDonald, Charles Gunn
Word Count: 3,697
Rating: NC-17
AU after Underneath
Midnight drive
He stood there, staring at me. I saw his mouth open a couple of times, but no sound came out. Moving as close to the bars as I could, I motioned for him to come closer. I kept my voice low, not wanting the guards down the hall to hear. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like shit. Let me guess, the dreams are keeping you awake at night? You wake up screaming, but can’t remember why, only that when you look around, you almost expect to see him there.”
A shudder ran through his frame. “You want to know how to make it stop.” I frowned. “No, that’s not it. You’re wondering why you’re still in this world after she’s been taken from it.”
“You don’t know a damn thing.” Gunn’s fingers shook as he wrapped his hand around the bars.
“I know more than you think. You want me to help you, I will, but not here. You and I need to make a little road trip.”
He made a snorting sound. “How stupid do you think I am?”
“Use that enhanced brain of yours. I want you to find a clause that lets you remove someone like me from the building without the Partners being able to grab me back.”
His eyes closed for a moment. “I invoke subsection forty-five, paragraph B.” He blinked a few times before giving me a strange look. “How’d you know that was there?”
“I used to work here; I picked up a lot of little secrets. Now, tell the guard to let me out and the two of us will have a fun chat.”
Ten minutes later, I was giving him directions to a bar I used to frequent. “They serve everyone there. Think of it as Caritas without the sanctuary spell.”
Gunn was silent as we made our way through the crowd to a booth at the back. A demon came over, giving me a smile that had way too many teeth. “A bottle of the oldest whiskey you have.” It vanished in a cloud of smoke, leaving us alone again.
“They used you. That’s what hurts the most, isn’t it? It’s not that she died, but because you were the catalyst that set things into motion.”
He lunged across the table, wrapping his hand around my wrist. It hurt, but I kept the emotions off of my face. “You weren’t here when it happened; you don’t have a damn clue, lawyer boy.”
“Don’t I?” I tilted my head before giving him a bitter smile. “I worked for the firm a lot longer than you did. They rigged that thing in your head to fail on purpose because they knew you’d want to keep it so you’d fit in. Trouble is, you already fit, and you just didn’t know it yet.”
The demon reappeared, setting the bottle of whiskey and a couple of glasses on the table before vanishing again. Gunn let go of me and I filled both, pushing one in his direction. I downed half, shuddering as it burned a path to my stomach. “I know what it feels like because I’ve gone through it too. The circumstances weren’t the same, but the end result sure as hell was.”
I watched him swallow and briefly wondered how much whiskey it would take before he not only opened up, but to go through with what he’d agreed to when he took me out of the building. Gunn’s eyes were fixed on the table while his fingers tightened on the glass. “They hate me. I can feel it when I come into the room. It’s in their eyes, their voices, and I can’t fix it.”
“No, you can’t. You made a deal with a devil and you got burned. Nothing you ever do is going to be enough to make up for it.” I finished my glass, pouring another. “You didn’t want them to take you out of there, did you?”
“I... I was getting what I deserved.”
His hand came up, rubbing over his heart and I felt my own body twitch just a little in sympathy. “If you close your eyes, you can play it over in your head. It’s not the same as being there, but you can almost feel it again.”
I got up and moved to his side of the booth, pressing my body against his. At first he went stiff, but then he let himself relax. “You can still see it, can’t you?” My voice was just above a whisper and I saw his head nod just a tiny bit. “And it wasn’t enough, not for you. You don’t know how many times you died and were brought back. It doesn’t make up for hers though, does it?”
A tiny noise escaped his throat and I put my hand on his leg. “You wake up in the middle of the night, thinking you’re still there, that you never left. Walking down the steps even though you know what’s coming. You can’t stop him, can’t stop what’s going to happen, but part of you wants it more than you’ve wanted anything else in your life. You weren’t always a good person, hell you’d done a lot of things you weren’t proud of, you’ve hurt people, and you’ve killed. The guilt inside of your body has been eating away at your soul, making you doubt yourself and feel like no matter what happens the punishment won’t fit the crime.”
He was looking at me now, eyes widened just a bit like I’d hit the fucking nail right on the head. My hand shifted from his leg, rubbing along his stomach and dipping down just a bit lower. I heard him suck in a breath, but he didn’t ask me to stop. “Close your eyes, Gunn. I can take you back there and once I do, you’ll be able to visit it any time you want. It’s not the same, but you’ll feel just as drained, like you’d died on his table again.”
I waited for his eyes to close before I started talking. My hand didn’t stop moving on his body. I slid it under his shirt so I had contact with skin. Gunn leaned against me, resting his head on my shoulder. “You take the steps one at a time, slowly going down into the darkness. He’s there, lurking in the shadows. You can’t see him yet, but you can feel him. The prey instinct kicks in, telling you to bolt, to forget about what you came down for, and get out. You keep going though.
The stench of blood is so thick that you can almost taste it on your tongue. Pain has a scent too. You never noticed it before, but down here, everything’s different. It’s sharper, like the world is about to become much clearer. How many people have been here before you? How many will come down after you die for real?
The table is waiting for you. It’s tasted blood and wants more. You move slowly across the floor, listening for movement in the darkness that surrounds you. Running your fingers over the scarred surface, you wonder if this is the time that’ll make everything go away. This pain, this blood about to be shed, it isn’t enough, and never will be.”
I undid his belt with my other hand, loosening his pants while I spoke. Didn’t surprise me a damn bit that he wasn’t wearing anything under the denim either. My fingers brushed over the head of his cock and I felt him shiver, which made me pause. “Don’t stop lawyer boy, I need this, need all of it.”
“You’ll get what you need, Gunn. Just relax.” I wrapped my hand around his cock and began to pump him slowly. There was no need to rush. He moaned softly, making a tiny smile cross my lips.
“You climb up onto the table, feeling the darkness close in on you. It’s almost like being wrapped in a blanket. You’re not exactly embracing it, but you welcome it all the same. He’s closer now, waiting for you to lie down so he can begin. He doesn’t know why you’re here, doesn’t care either. He only knows what he’s supposed to do and how to do it.
The first few times you were down there, they didn’t let you remember what happened. They needed to find out exactly what hurt the most so it could be perfected. But after that... all bets are off. You lie down, trying not to breathe, not to move, waiting for him to step out of the darkness and join you.
And he does. You’ve always wondered what the monster living in your closet looked like, and now you know. He’s silent, always will be, other than a few tiny sounds that escape him as he gets to work. The straps hold you down to keep your from fighting back. They’re tight, but not tight enough to cut off the feeling. As he starts, they’ll dig into your flesh while you try to move away from the blade.
It’s not a blade though, not in the sense most people think. This thing is old. It’s never been cleaned, never been sharpened, and you can’t tell where the rust on the surface begins and the blood ends. Screaming doesn’t help, neither does begging. He doesn’t care, he doesn’t hear it. He just does what he was designed for. He inflicts pain, punishing you for what you’ve done.
You don’t know how long you lie there as he cuts. The pain is never enough to make you pass out, or maybe the room keeps you from escaping. But this can only go as far as you want it to. The punishment fits your thoughts on how guilty you were.
I don’t know about you Gunn, but I only got my heart cut out with a dull, rusty knife. I can still feel the blade as it slowly slices through flesh and bone. It splits ribs until the bastard can fit his hand into my chest. The knife is left on the side of the table while he works on pulling it loose. The last thing you get to see before you die is your own heart as it beats for the last time. Then the world fades away.”
My hand began to move faster. “Talk to me, Gunn. They aren’t going to listen to you; they don’t care about why you did what you did. They only know you helped take someone precious away. I can’t give you what you need, but I’ll listen.”
For a moment, I didn’t think he was going to answer me. He shifted himself on the seat before putting his mouth by my ear. “I didn’t know. If I’d known, I never would have done it. It should have been me, not her. She was so beautiful, so wonderful. The room lit up when she smiled.”
I tightened my grip and the sound he made was a cross between a sob and a moan. “Do you think she hates you, Gunn? Is that why you need to be back in that room?”
“Yes.”
His voice was so soft my ears had to strain to hear it. “I don’t think she does. If you’d done it yourself, then maybe she’d hate you, but you didn’t do it. They killed her. They used her body to let that thing into the world. You didn’t know.”
“I’d take it back if I could.”
“I know you would. You’d die for her, wouldn’t you? I’ve been there, Gunn. I had someone I’d die for, and the only way to save her was to kill her. I lost the woman I knew, that I loved, and found something else in her place. She looked the same, but she wasn’t.”
Dipping my hand lower, I gave his balls a squeeze, making his back arch. “If she was here right now, you’d ask for forgiveness, wouldn’t you?”
“You know I would.”
“She’d forgive you, Gunn. From what I’ve heard, she was one of the few decent people in this world. She knows you didn’t do it on purpose” I rubbed my thumb over the head of his cock, pressing it into the slit. “I want you to let it go, just for tonight. All that pain, all that anger, that hurt, everything, let it go. Tonight, you’re forgiven.”
With that, I felt his release on my hand. His fingers dug into my back as he bit down on my shoulder, trying to muffle the sound. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about people I’d lost. There was too much pain in the world.
I brought my hand from his pants and licked my fingers clean. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Leaning in, I ran my tongue along the edge of his ear. I felt him tremble just a bit. “You know what I want, don’t you?”
“Where?”
“There’s a place up the street. And when this is over, we both go our separate ways. You invoked the clause outside of my cell, they have no claim over me any more, but this needs to be finished.” I stared at him for a moment. “This is your last chance to back out.”
“I’m not backing out of anything.”
“Then fix your pants, pay for the bottle, and we’ll get going.”
I grabbed the bottle from the table, taking a few swallows. He threw some money down and did up his pants before following me out the door. No matter how confident he seemed, I knew he was nervous. I wasn’t going to hurt him, but he didn’t know that. Why trust me? I was one of the bad guys, right?
The guy behind the counter at the motel didn’t even blink an eye when Gunn paid for the room. This was LA, nothing bothered people any more, especially not after the sun went down. As motels went, this one wasn’t bad. No rats, no roaches, and the bed looked clean. It worked just fine for me.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, picking at the edge of his shirt. “You haven’t done this before, have you?”
“Slept with the enemy?”
I laughed softly. “You know damn well what I meant. I won’t hurt you, Gunn, I swear on my mama’s grave.”
Shedding clothing as I walked over to the bed, I watched his eyes as they traveled the length of my body. “You won’t forget it though. I gave you something you needed; now you’re going to do the same. Sure, Angel will be mad as hell, but he’s only got two stages, broody and pissed off. He doesn’t have the faintest idea about what he’s doing there, won’t know until it all blows up in his face.”
“He doesn’t listen to me anymore. Hell, he doesn’t listen to any of us. I’m not even sure why we’re still there.”
“You’ll see. Everything will become clear as fucking crystal soon. You can trust me on this.”
I sat down next to him on the bed and pulled his shirt off. “Damn, you’ve got as many scars as I do.”
He kicked off his shoes and worked on getting his pants down. I saw him bite his lip. “I’m not gay.”
“Neither am I.” I gave Gunn a smile, motioning for him to lie down on the bed. “There’s going to be some pain, but I’ll make you feel damn good.”
I went to the nightstand, and couldn’t help but grin as I found a thing of lube. Have to love motels that are always prepared for anything. When I turned back to him, I could see his body trembling just a little. “You’re sure you want to do this?”
“I have to.”
Popping the cap on the tube, I coated my fingers and nudged his legs further apart, settling between them. “I want you to relax, okay? And if I do anything you don’t like, you tell me.”
“You’ll find your ass on the floor.” He smiled at me and I returned it.
I pressed my fingers against his entrance and he sucked in a breath. Pushing it in slowly, I felt the muscles clench around me. “Damn, you’re tight.”
Taking my time, I worked my finger inside of him, pulling it out most of the way before pushing in again. When I found that spot inside, he let out a moan that sent shivers down my spine. “Whatever the fuck you just did, do it again.”
“Don’t worry, I will.”
Adding a second finger, I leaned down and kissed my way up his stomach and chest, making sure to run my tongue over every scar I found. The noises he made caused my cock to twitch. I wanted to bury myself in his body, but I had to wait. The fingers on my free hand stroked the muscles of his chest. I dragged my thumbnail over one of his nipples, making his back arch.
“Do I even want to know why you’re so good at this?”
“No, you don’t. It would take too long to tell. I’ll just say that nobody’s ever complained.”
A third finger joined the other two and I carefully spread them out. He writhed on the bed underneath me. I nipped and kissed my way up his throat until I reached his mouth. Gunn didn’t fight the kiss, but he went so damn still that for a second I thought I might find myself on my ass. Then he was kissing me back while tangling his fingers in my hair. The grip he had tightened almost to the point of being painful.
We pulled back for air and I saw a little wave of fear pass over his face. “It’s okay to like this, Gunn. No one has to know. And even if they do find out, you can tell them I worked some kind of evil mojo on you.”
That made him laugh and the fear faded. “I... need more, Lindsey.”
His hand slipped from my hair as I sat back. I heard him moan as I removed my fingers. Picking up the lube again, I slicked myself up. “You ready?” He nodded and I pushed inside, giving him time to adjust.
I smothered his groan with my mouth, nipping and sucking on his bottom lip. “I always thought I’d get screwed by a lawyer some day, but not like this.”
The snort I made turned into a laugh. “Too bad we don’t have more time; I could show you a few other ways to be screwed by a lawyer.”
Gunn’s eyebrows shot up. “This is a one time thing. Don’t get any ideas in that head of yours.”
I tried to look innocent, which I know he didn’t buy at all. “Sometimes I just can’t help myself.”
His legs tightened around my body, pushing me in just a bit deeper and we both groaned. “Show me what you’ve got, lawyer boy.”
I started off nice and easy, letting him get used to how it felt before I picked up the pace. His hands were everywhere, tangling in my hair, digging into my back, and touching just about every inch of skin he had access to. I nibbled his earlobe and then began to whisper something. He paused, sucking in a breath. I didn’t stop moving as I spoke, wanting him to know as much as possible before I left this city for good. Angel would never believe me or listen, but Gunn would.
A burn started down at my toes and slowly worked its way through my body. The words that tumbled from my lips should give Angel’s band of merry morons a better chance when they went against the Partners. It was the only thing I had left to offer, and I hoped it would be enough.
By the time I finished, his fingers had tightened on me again. “Fuck Lindsey... so close.”
I smirked as I moved faster. Gunn arched off of the bed, tangling his fingers in my hair. Capturing his lips again, I changed the angle of my thrusts, bringing both of us over the edge. I caught myself with my hand to keep from collapsing down on his body. Resting my forehead against his, I waited for my heart rate to slow again.
“That was... you won’t be getting any complaints from me.”
“Glad to know I still have a perfect record.” I pulled out of him, but left most of my body on top of his. We were quiet for a few minutes and I propped myself up on my elbow. “You guys might have a shot now. No one has ever gone up against the Partners and come out alive, but if anyone could do it, it would be him.”
“You should get going; you’re running out of time.”
I glanced at the clock and sighed. Rolling off the bed, I padded into the bathroom and got cleaned up. “You didn’t have to do this; you could have left me down there.”
When I turned, I saw him leaning against the doorway of the bathroom. “You gave me something they’ll never be able to do. You don’t look at me the way they do, and you’ve been to the same place I have. I had to do this, Lindsey. I don’t regret it at all.”
I went over to where he was, brushing my lips over his one final time before getting dressed. Gunn followed suit and when he tried to press money into my hand, I shook my head. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine. We’re near the edge of the city. I know a guy just outside of town who owes me a favor.”
Halfway out the door, I paused to look at him again. “What I said before, about your friend? I meant every word of it.”
“I know.”
“Good luck.” And with that, I stepped out into the night. For the first time in years, I felt free again.
Word Count: 3,697
Rating: NC-17
AU after Underneath
Midnight drive
He stood there, staring at me. I saw his mouth open a couple of times, but no sound came out. Moving as close to the bars as I could, I motioned for him to come closer. I kept my voice low, not wanting the guards down the hall to hear. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like shit. Let me guess, the dreams are keeping you awake at night? You wake up screaming, but can’t remember why, only that when you look around, you almost expect to see him there.”
A shudder ran through his frame. “You want to know how to make it stop.” I frowned. “No, that’s not it. You’re wondering why you’re still in this world after she’s been taken from it.”
“You don’t know a damn thing.” Gunn’s fingers shook as he wrapped his hand around the bars.
“I know more than you think. You want me to help you, I will, but not here. You and I need to make a little road trip.”
He made a snorting sound. “How stupid do you think I am?”
“Use that enhanced brain of yours. I want you to find a clause that lets you remove someone like me from the building without the Partners being able to grab me back.”
His eyes closed for a moment. “I invoke subsection forty-five, paragraph B.” He blinked a few times before giving me a strange look. “How’d you know that was there?”
“I used to work here; I picked up a lot of little secrets. Now, tell the guard to let me out and the two of us will have a fun chat.”
Ten minutes later, I was giving him directions to a bar I used to frequent. “They serve everyone there. Think of it as Caritas without the sanctuary spell.”
Gunn was silent as we made our way through the crowd to a booth at the back. A demon came over, giving me a smile that had way too many teeth. “A bottle of the oldest whiskey you have.” It vanished in a cloud of smoke, leaving us alone again.
“They used you. That’s what hurts the most, isn’t it? It’s not that she died, but because you were the catalyst that set things into motion.”
He lunged across the table, wrapping his hand around my wrist. It hurt, but I kept the emotions off of my face. “You weren’t here when it happened; you don’t have a damn clue, lawyer boy.”
“Don’t I?” I tilted my head before giving him a bitter smile. “I worked for the firm a lot longer than you did. They rigged that thing in your head to fail on purpose because they knew you’d want to keep it so you’d fit in. Trouble is, you already fit, and you just didn’t know it yet.”
The demon reappeared, setting the bottle of whiskey and a couple of glasses on the table before vanishing again. Gunn let go of me and I filled both, pushing one in his direction. I downed half, shuddering as it burned a path to my stomach. “I know what it feels like because I’ve gone through it too. The circumstances weren’t the same, but the end result sure as hell was.”
I watched him swallow and briefly wondered how much whiskey it would take before he not only opened up, but to go through with what he’d agreed to when he took me out of the building. Gunn’s eyes were fixed on the table while his fingers tightened on the glass. “They hate me. I can feel it when I come into the room. It’s in their eyes, their voices, and I can’t fix it.”
“No, you can’t. You made a deal with a devil and you got burned. Nothing you ever do is going to be enough to make up for it.” I finished my glass, pouring another. “You didn’t want them to take you out of there, did you?”
“I... I was getting what I deserved.”
His hand came up, rubbing over his heart and I felt my own body twitch just a little in sympathy. “If you close your eyes, you can play it over in your head. It’s not the same as being there, but you can almost feel it again.”
I got up and moved to his side of the booth, pressing my body against his. At first he went stiff, but then he let himself relax. “You can still see it, can’t you?” My voice was just above a whisper and I saw his head nod just a tiny bit. “And it wasn’t enough, not for you. You don’t know how many times you died and were brought back. It doesn’t make up for hers though, does it?”
A tiny noise escaped his throat and I put my hand on his leg. “You wake up in the middle of the night, thinking you’re still there, that you never left. Walking down the steps even though you know what’s coming. You can’t stop him, can’t stop what’s going to happen, but part of you wants it more than you’ve wanted anything else in your life. You weren’t always a good person, hell you’d done a lot of things you weren’t proud of, you’ve hurt people, and you’ve killed. The guilt inside of your body has been eating away at your soul, making you doubt yourself and feel like no matter what happens the punishment won’t fit the crime.”
He was looking at me now, eyes widened just a bit like I’d hit the fucking nail right on the head. My hand shifted from his leg, rubbing along his stomach and dipping down just a bit lower. I heard him suck in a breath, but he didn’t ask me to stop. “Close your eyes, Gunn. I can take you back there and once I do, you’ll be able to visit it any time you want. It’s not the same, but you’ll feel just as drained, like you’d died on his table again.”
I waited for his eyes to close before I started talking. My hand didn’t stop moving on his body. I slid it under his shirt so I had contact with skin. Gunn leaned against me, resting his head on my shoulder. “You take the steps one at a time, slowly going down into the darkness. He’s there, lurking in the shadows. You can’t see him yet, but you can feel him. The prey instinct kicks in, telling you to bolt, to forget about what you came down for, and get out. You keep going though.
The stench of blood is so thick that you can almost taste it on your tongue. Pain has a scent too. You never noticed it before, but down here, everything’s different. It’s sharper, like the world is about to become much clearer. How many people have been here before you? How many will come down after you die for real?
The table is waiting for you. It’s tasted blood and wants more. You move slowly across the floor, listening for movement in the darkness that surrounds you. Running your fingers over the scarred surface, you wonder if this is the time that’ll make everything go away. This pain, this blood about to be shed, it isn’t enough, and never will be.”
I undid his belt with my other hand, loosening his pants while I spoke. Didn’t surprise me a damn bit that he wasn’t wearing anything under the denim either. My fingers brushed over the head of his cock and I felt him shiver, which made me pause. “Don’t stop lawyer boy, I need this, need all of it.”
“You’ll get what you need, Gunn. Just relax.” I wrapped my hand around his cock and began to pump him slowly. There was no need to rush. He moaned softly, making a tiny smile cross my lips.
“You climb up onto the table, feeling the darkness close in on you. It’s almost like being wrapped in a blanket. You’re not exactly embracing it, but you welcome it all the same. He’s closer now, waiting for you to lie down so he can begin. He doesn’t know why you’re here, doesn’t care either. He only knows what he’s supposed to do and how to do it.
The first few times you were down there, they didn’t let you remember what happened. They needed to find out exactly what hurt the most so it could be perfected. But after that... all bets are off. You lie down, trying not to breathe, not to move, waiting for him to step out of the darkness and join you.
And he does. You’ve always wondered what the monster living in your closet looked like, and now you know. He’s silent, always will be, other than a few tiny sounds that escape him as he gets to work. The straps hold you down to keep your from fighting back. They’re tight, but not tight enough to cut off the feeling. As he starts, they’ll dig into your flesh while you try to move away from the blade.
It’s not a blade though, not in the sense most people think. This thing is old. It’s never been cleaned, never been sharpened, and you can’t tell where the rust on the surface begins and the blood ends. Screaming doesn’t help, neither does begging. He doesn’t care, he doesn’t hear it. He just does what he was designed for. He inflicts pain, punishing you for what you’ve done.
You don’t know how long you lie there as he cuts. The pain is never enough to make you pass out, or maybe the room keeps you from escaping. But this can only go as far as you want it to. The punishment fits your thoughts on how guilty you were.
I don’t know about you Gunn, but I only got my heart cut out with a dull, rusty knife. I can still feel the blade as it slowly slices through flesh and bone. It splits ribs until the bastard can fit his hand into my chest. The knife is left on the side of the table while he works on pulling it loose. The last thing you get to see before you die is your own heart as it beats for the last time. Then the world fades away.”
My hand began to move faster. “Talk to me, Gunn. They aren’t going to listen to you; they don’t care about why you did what you did. They only know you helped take someone precious away. I can’t give you what you need, but I’ll listen.”
For a moment, I didn’t think he was going to answer me. He shifted himself on the seat before putting his mouth by my ear. “I didn’t know. If I’d known, I never would have done it. It should have been me, not her. She was so beautiful, so wonderful. The room lit up when she smiled.”
I tightened my grip and the sound he made was a cross between a sob and a moan. “Do you think she hates you, Gunn? Is that why you need to be back in that room?”
“Yes.”
His voice was so soft my ears had to strain to hear it. “I don’t think she does. If you’d done it yourself, then maybe she’d hate you, but you didn’t do it. They killed her. They used her body to let that thing into the world. You didn’t know.”
“I’d take it back if I could.”
“I know you would. You’d die for her, wouldn’t you? I’ve been there, Gunn. I had someone I’d die for, and the only way to save her was to kill her. I lost the woman I knew, that I loved, and found something else in her place. She looked the same, but she wasn’t.”
Dipping my hand lower, I gave his balls a squeeze, making his back arch. “If she was here right now, you’d ask for forgiveness, wouldn’t you?”
“You know I would.”
“She’d forgive you, Gunn. From what I’ve heard, she was one of the few decent people in this world. She knows you didn’t do it on purpose” I rubbed my thumb over the head of his cock, pressing it into the slit. “I want you to let it go, just for tonight. All that pain, all that anger, that hurt, everything, let it go. Tonight, you’re forgiven.”
With that, I felt his release on my hand. His fingers dug into my back as he bit down on my shoulder, trying to muffle the sound. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about people I’d lost. There was too much pain in the world.
I brought my hand from his pants and licked my fingers clean. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. Leaning in, I ran my tongue along the edge of his ear. I felt him tremble just a bit. “You know what I want, don’t you?”
“Where?”
“There’s a place up the street. And when this is over, we both go our separate ways. You invoked the clause outside of my cell, they have no claim over me any more, but this needs to be finished.” I stared at him for a moment. “This is your last chance to back out.”
“I’m not backing out of anything.”
“Then fix your pants, pay for the bottle, and we’ll get going.”
I grabbed the bottle from the table, taking a few swallows. He threw some money down and did up his pants before following me out the door. No matter how confident he seemed, I knew he was nervous. I wasn’t going to hurt him, but he didn’t know that. Why trust me? I was one of the bad guys, right?
The guy behind the counter at the motel didn’t even blink an eye when Gunn paid for the room. This was LA, nothing bothered people any more, especially not after the sun went down. As motels went, this one wasn’t bad. No rats, no roaches, and the bed looked clean. It worked just fine for me.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, picking at the edge of his shirt. “You haven’t done this before, have you?”
“Slept with the enemy?”
I laughed softly. “You know damn well what I meant. I won’t hurt you, Gunn, I swear on my mama’s grave.”
Shedding clothing as I walked over to the bed, I watched his eyes as they traveled the length of my body. “You won’t forget it though. I gave you something you needed; now you’re going to do the same. Sure, Angel will be mad as hell, but he’s only got two stages, broody and pissed off. He doesn’t have the faintest idea about what he’s doing there, won’t know until it all blows up in his face.”
“He doesn’t listen to me anymore. Hell, he doesn’t listen to any of us. I’m not even sure why we’re still there.”
“You’ll see. Everything will become clear as fucking crystal soon. You can trust me on this.”
I sat down next to him on the bed and pulled his shirt off. “Damn, you’ve got as many scars as I do.”
He kicked off his shoes and worked on getting his pants down. I saw him bite his lip. “I’m not gay.”
“Neither am I.” I gave Gunn a smile, motioning for him to lie down on the bed. “There’s going to be some pain, but I’ll make you feel damn good.”
I went to the nightstand, and couldn’t help but grin as I found a thing of lube. Have to love motels that are always prepared for anything. When I turned back to him, I could see his body trembling just a little. “You’re sure you want to do this?”
“I have to.”
Popping the cap on the tube, I coated my fingers and nudged his legs further apart, settling between them. “I want you to relax, okay? And if I do anything you don’t like, you tell me.”
“You’ll find your ass on the floor.” He smiled at me and I returned it.
I pressed my fingers against his entrance and he sucked in a breath. Pushing it in slowly, I felt the muscles clench around me. “Damn, you’re tight.”
Taking my time, I worked my finger inside of him, pulling it out most of the way before pushing in again. When I found that spot inside, he let out a moan that sent shivers down my spine. “Whatever the fuck you just did, do it again.”
“Don’t worry, I will.”
Adding a second finger, I leaned down and kissed my way up his stomach and chest, making sure to run my tongue over every scar I found. The noises he made caused my cock to twitch. I wanted to bury myself in his body, but I had to wait. The fingers on my free hand stroked the muscles of his chest. I dragged my thumbnail over one of his nipples, making his back arch.
“Do I even want to know why you’re so good at this?”
“No, you don’t. It would take too long to tell. I’ll just say that nobody’s ever complained.”
A third finger joined the other two and I carefully spread them out. He writhed on the bed underneath me. I nipped and kissed my way up his throat until I reached his mouth. Gunn didn’t fight the kiss, but he went so damn still that for a second I thought I might find myself on my ass. Then he was kissing me back while tangling his fingers in my hair. The grip he had tightened almost to the point of being painful.
We pulled back for air and I saw a little wave of fear pass over his face. “It’s okay to like this, Gunn. No one has to know. And even if they do find out, you can tell them I worked some kind of evil mojo on you.”
That made him laugh and the fear faded. “I... need more, Lindsey.”
His hand slipped from my hair as I sat back. I heard him moan as I removed my fingers. Picking up the lube again, I slicked myself up. “You ready?” He nodded and I pushed inside, giving him time to adjust.
I smothered his groan with my mouth, nipping and sucking on his bottom lip. “I always thought I’d get screwed by a lawyer some day, but not like this.”
The snort I made turned into a laugh. “Too bad we don’t have more time; I could show you a few other ways to be screwed by a lawyer.”
Gunn’s eyebrows shot up. “This is a one time thing. Don’t get any ideas in that head of yours.”
I tried to look innocent, which I know he didn’t buy at all. “Sometimes I just can’t help myself.”
His legs tightened around my body, pushing me in just a bit deeper and we both groaned. “Show me what you’ve got, lawyer boy.”
I started off nice and easy, letting him get used to how it felt before I picked up the pace. His hands were everywhere, tangling in my hair, digging into my back, and touching just about every inch of skin he had access to. I nibbled his earlobe and then began to whisper something. He paused, sucking in a breath. I didn’t stop moving as I spoke, wanting him to know as much as possible before I left this city for good. Angel would never believe me or listen, but Gunn would.
A burn started down at my toes and slowly worked its way through my body. The words that tumbled from my lips should give Angel’s band of merry morons a better chance when they went against the Partners. It was the only thing I had left to offer, and I hoped it would be enough.
By the time I finished, his fingers had tightened on me again. “Fuck Lindsey... so close.”
I smirked as I moved faster. Gunn arched off of the bed, tangling his fingers in my hair. Capturing his lips again, I changed the angle of my thrusts, bringing both of us over the edge. I caught myself with my hand to keep from collapsing down on his body. Resting my forehead against his, I waited for my heart rate to slow again.
“That was... you won’t be getting any complaints from me.”
“Glad to know I still have a perfect record.” I pulled out of him, but left most of my body on top of his. We were quiet for a few minutes and I propped myself up on my elbow. “You guys might have a shot now. No one has ever gone up against the Partners and come out alive, but if anyone could do it, it would be him.”
“You should get going; you’re running out of time.”
I glanced at the clock and sighed. Rolling off the bed, I padded into the bathroom and got cleaned up. “You didn’t have to do this; you could have left me down there.”
When I turned, I saw him leaning against the doorway of the bathroom. “You gave me something they’ll never be able to do. You don’t look at me the way they do, and you’ve been to the same place I have. I had to do this, Lindsey. I don’t regret it at all.”
I went over to where he was, brushing my lips over his one final time before getting dressed. Gunn followed suit and when he tried to press money into my hand, I shook my head. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine. We’re near the edge of the city. I know a guy just outside of town who owes me a favor.”
Halfway out the door, I paused to look at him again. “What I said before, about your friend? I meant every word of it.”
“I know.”
“Good luck.” And with that, I stepped out into the night. For the first time in years, I felt free again.