much reflection later
perhaps my real issue is that I've been coming up against a lot of "that's not fair" whenever a SigOth has any complaint about dealing with a loved one's disability. My immediate reaction is "maybe so but its reality" as well as "you don't have the right to censor them even if their truth hurts your feelings"
because ultimately, yes, dealing with someone close in your life who has a disability can be hard and frustrating and make you want to scream. You shouldn't have to have guilt piled on top of everything just because you speak out about your own struggles. Complaining about a loved one's disability does not mean you only see the loved one in terms of their disability. It does not mean you are dehumanizing them.
SigOth's deal with their own side of the struggle dealing with disability. I think they have a right to speak out about it without being stigmatized as "callous"
because ultimately, yes, dealing with someone close in your life who has a disability can be hard and frustrating and make you want to scream. You shouldn't have to have guilt piled on top of everything just because you speak out about your own struggles. Complaining about a loved one's disability does not mean you only see the loved one in terms of their disability. It does not mean you are dehumanizing them.
SigOth's deal with their own side of the struggle dealing with disability. I think they have a right to speak out about it without being stigmatized as "callous"