It's times like these you learn to live again...
I wish I had something that I could say to make them stay, but the fact that Spike and Faith were the two people that would be the last to listen to me, and that they were together was an impossible task. I couldn't stand up to them because I was holding Angel up. I couldn't really say anything, because this really wasn't my town. Normally, I
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Typical of Giles. Don't try to save the world, when the world really needed the slayers, just to take a stand against me, because he was still mad at me because of Wolfram and Hart.
This was the type of thing that I needed to get me going, but even the anger that I was feeling towards Giles and his stubborn nature at the moment, wasn't enough to help me up, because as I tried it again, once more, my head felt ten times it's normal size. Buffy had to hold me up again, and put me back down as if to say without words, for the moment, that I needed to rest and that she wasn't going to let me do anything.
I suppose that it could be worse. I could be dead....again, and not come back this time, but as I thought of it, I realized, as my arms caressed Buffy's, involuntarily, that I really, for the most part, wished that I was dead. I had gotten Gunn and Wesley killed. I had lost Cordy and Fred and demons were running the streets because of me.
It made me angry and made me think of Giles again. "Buffy, he'll listen to you. If he can't be convinced that saving innocent people all over California from a pack of demons on the loose, isn't a job for slayers, then he is far more evil then I ever was for trying to destroy an evil law firm.. Because, believe me, Buffy, that's why we took over. I haven't changed. Everything that I did was to get rid of evil in the world. If Giles can't see that, then maybe a revolution is needed within the Council?"
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After he said that, I couldn't remember what Giles' argument was. Why I couldn't convince him to help me out. I heard Angel say these things, but I couldn't think about it right now. I couldn't tell him that not only was Giles in this, but I agreed with him.
... at some point.
Now, after I had seen everything, after I had almost lost the two men in my life that ever really meant something, I couldn't tell whose side I was on, or what I believed in. Usually I'd be the first one to know what I believed in, I'd make something happen... I'd fix things. Why was this one so complicated?
Giles thought that this was a lost cause, that everything was already gone when I was on my way... but even if that was the case, then someone should have come down to scope things out. It was not only our duty, but it was the right thing to do.
So something was up with Giles, I was just in too much of a hurry to get it then.
I pushed Angel back down, and held him, like I used to when he was still in Sunnydale. After a few seconds, I got up, and decided that I'd give it a try. I didn't comment to Angel on the descriptives. In fact, I didn't talk to him about it at all.
I just stood up and went to the phone, and punched in the familiar numbers. I had half the mind to yell at Giles when he got on the phone, but I wouldn't be able to since I wanted to just hear his voice.
I certainly wasn't stupid. We needed help.
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