Fuckin' Feelings.

[5x5demon_killer]

The whole damn ride in the plane was gettin’ kinda annoyin’. All I could think of was B goin’ there and finding out what I had already known. Findin’ out that she needed to fight like hell to survive the hell mouth that was openin’ up. She went to save the vamps and Wes from some bad decisions, and she was walkin’ right into a hell mouth. I was

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[angelbuffy]

I was choking back a lot of my thought because they would only make me feel ten times worse than what I was already feeling. Angel was here, helpless, Spike was badly hurt, and the crew that I gathered had been with Angel for years were all dead. All of them excet for Spike. I couldn't imagine what the was feeling like.

I was covered in blood from both Angel and Spike. I only got here a little while ago, but it felt like I was here for a while. I was exhausted from jet lag, and from what had happened a little while ago. I didn't know how long they were fighting, I didn't know why. I was going to need these answers sooner or later, but now wasn't the time to ask them. None of us had a clear head right now.

I wanted so badly to do something else for Angel... anything else for Angel but I was pretty helpless. I hated feeling helpless when there was so much that could be done, but nothing that I could do. I couldn't keep my eyes of of Angel, even though it hurt me to look at him in this state.

"Buf...fy, all of thiss is my fault..."

I stared at him for a minute, frozen. He was genuinely sorry, I knew Angel. I knew him. Hearing him say something like this broke my heart. I didn't have anything to say. I didn't know what to say. Was this all his fault?

I saw a tear fall down the side of his cheek, and I could feel my own forming. I could feel them forming because of what this world almost lost, what I almost lost. I always knew that Angel and Spike weren't going to leave my heart... but I didn't know that they were really one of the bigger parts of my world.

I supressed my tears, and looked at him in the eye.

"Shhh.."

There wasn't anything I could say. The words weren't forming in my head, and they weren't going to escape my mouth.