Life isn't dealt with so easily..
The entire plane ride, all I could think about was Angel and Spike, and what Giles had said right before I walked out the door… right before I walked out of the car too. I didn’t like how we left things, but it wasn’t like I didn’t have a reason to be mad. I think if I had opened my mouth to talk to him, I’d come out incredibly rude, and angry,
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I smiled. Duh, Buffy. At least Spike still had that Spike quality about him.
The last time I exposed my neck willingly, it had been with Angel, and I was scarred there for life. I was never going to forget that, and that scar would never let me. Spike was hesitant, and I wasn't going to let him not drink because that would mean that his chances of becoming strong again was going to me a lot slimmer. I was a slayer, I could heal fast. Faster than Spike.
He sunk his teeth in me, and I could feel the blood escaping me faster than the air was coming in my lungs. I had to take a deep breath, because the pain I felt with a fang piercing my vein in my neck wasn't pleasant. It hurt, and the blood leaving me, as I could feel Spike getting grip around me. He let go, and I sat back on the couch. I was weaker, and if I stood up, I was going to be pretty dizzy. I looked at him, already knowing that my blood was affecting him.
"Buffy, when did Angel bite you? Have seen the marks before, but have never found out when or wanted to bring up his name enough to know why."
I put my hand to my neck, feeling the new marks, and the pain it had. I couldn't believe how long ago that was. Years.
"Faith shot Angel with a poisonous arrow when she was...evil. The only cure known was the blood of a slayer."
I left out some major parts. I left out the other dark period of my life...when I tried to kill Faith. When I thought that I had. The day before Angel left for LA. I told Spike what he wanted to know. I didn't want to stick my foot in a place that we really didn't need to go.
I pushed on my neck, and looked at him. I didn't want to bring it up, but I couldn't sit here and have it burning in the back of my mind...that was torture enough.
"Was...was he with you in the alley?"
I stared deeply at him. I didn't have that feeling that I had anymore. The feeling that told me Angel was around. The feeling that I always had in the past.
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Normally, might have made a remark about how much I liked Faith already, but now wasn't that time. Wasn't a shock to me, though. She was all with the rogue big bad at a time and Angel had been with the white hats at that point.
Different then the Wolfram and Hart gig, but sort of the same. Sort of. Same thing as always right now, though, Buffy was going to ask where Angel was, and guessed it was about time to show her roughly where the pile of ashes was. Was feeling considerably stronger and stood, but even with Buffy's blood in me, my head throbbed and the sodding equilibrium wasn't there. Started to fall, but found my strength, and felt guilty, taking her blood.
"Are you feeling strong enough, love?"
Hadn't thought about calling her love, and didn't know what I was going to call her when I did see her again. Many scenarios had flashed through my mind about meeting her again, and I had wanted to all year, but never envisioned in bloody ions that our first meeting would ental me getting a sodding major ass-whipping, nor that I would drink from Buffy.
She did have a look on her face that led me to believe that I was going to have to deliver heartache to her.
"Was...was he with you in the alley?"
Stared at her, sullen. Was actually missing old Liam myself. Strange as it seemed, death was never something that I wished for him. Maybe eternal ephigy's burned in his honor and constant jokes about his hair gel and forehead. But not like this, and not this way and especially, not in front of Buffy.
"He...well, yeah, he was in the alley, Buffy. Fought a dragon and then he wasn't in the alley anymore. Went sort of airborne, bloody hard and fast. Don't think...."
Couldn't finish the statement.
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I looked at him, and took my hand away from my neck. I nodded, as I watched him stand up. There was no way that a few minutes was going to make him fully healthy. Hell, I knew that not even a few days was going to do that. He was still high off my blood, and I hoped that it would stick for a little while.
I was waiting for him to answer my question. I knew that he wasn't the type that would dodge it, especially regarding Angel. The thing was, that I knew he was trying to stall. I wasn't going to accept what he was going to say until I saw things for myself. Until I saw the proof, regardless of how heartbreaking that was.
"He...well, yeah, he was in the alley, Buffy. Fought a dragon and then he wasn't in the alley anymore. Went sort of airborne, bloody hard and fast. Don't think...."
He didn't finish the sentence. I knew what was coming. I knew what was coming when I heard the tone of his voice. The minute that he started to speak, I immediately regretted asking him that question. I really didn't want to hear this. This was a nightmare. One that wouldn't go away, and was going to stick with me for a long time.
I stood up, and felt completely dizzy, but I didn't falter.
"Where.."
He was probably about to finish the sentence, but I wouldn't have any of it. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to stand here helpless, scolding myself for not coming here earlier. If I had come here earlier then this wouldn't have happened. People wouldn't be dead, people wouldn't by dying and Angel would be stand...
I could have stopped this.
"Where was he thrown."
I was so angry. I wasn't angry at Spike, more at myself for the moment. I swallowed hard. There was still a chance.
There had to be.
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"Where was he thrown?"
Wanted to do something to convince her that everything was going to be okay in the end. Wanted to, but knew better. Knew that there wasn't going to be any quick recovery for her when she saw the ashes that had become of Angel, if they were inside and not washed away outside in the rain somewhere.
Looked down, and felt her hand on my chin, urging me to take her to him. Looked back at her, saw that she was weak and that it was my fault that she was weak, even though she had offered, and I felt ashamed.
Felt even worse about having to take her to Angel, though. Couldn't imagine anything worse. Couldn't believe it was true. Couldn't believe that I was the only one that had survived and that all of those sodding demons were still running the streets.
Couldn't do this to her, but had to. "He's just this way, up the stairs. Or, least I ho..."
Couldn't finish that sentence. Never thought that it would come to this. Me drinking Buffy and me showing her the dead remnants of her former lover, who I despised being her former lover. Still, he was my grandsire and all. Had to do this.
Walked up the stairs to the top of the hotel. Looked to my right and opened one door, then another, and finally she pushed open the door, studied the room for a minute, seemed choked up. Thought that she was looking at a telltale big pile o' dust, until I went to the door and saw that he was still corporeal. Son of a bitch, like me, just didn't die.
Didn't feel that bad about it, either, as Buffy came to him, and heard something coming from downstairs. Somebody had opened the door. Thought that it was a demon until I heard a very distinctive voice.
Buffy now held Angel in her arms and forehead didn't respond. "Buffy, is Faith supposed to be here, because I think that the bird is downstairs."
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