Life isn't dealt with so easily..
The entire plane ride, all I could think about was Angel and Spike, and what Giles had said right before I walked out the door… right before I walked out of the car too. I didn’t like how we left things, but it wasn’t like I didn’t have a reason to be mad. I think if I had opened my mouth to talk to him, I’d come out incredibly rude, and angry,
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Everything was fading in and out like a black and white picture show from back in the sodding day, long and happily forgotten to me now, but when they were out, it was all the rage.
Felt her picking me up and it was good, because the whole world was spinning like I had been drinking, yet hadn't touched the bottle. Drinking was a lot more fun, although I wasn't injured enough to not know that what had bloody well put me in this state, the battle, was more fun then tipping a bottle back.
Felt the water stop pelting me from the Los Angeles deluge, which had to be a sodding record, and heard the door being pushed open. Knew somewhere deep down that we should be going after the demons that got away, but knew that I could hardly stand, if at sodding all, and knew I couldn't fight and damned sure wasn't sending Buffy to fight all of those demons, alone.
"Slay...Buffy, I think that the back of my head is split open. Might turn into a disgustingly pale Ethiopian picture of the blood flow isn't stopped from leaving my skull. Think about all of my ribs are broken and could probably use a couple of pints of a-b neg."
Coughed as she put me down on the couch. Had never been here before, even though I knew the plac ewas Angel. Vampire owner of a hotel. Couldn't feel like I had to put him down, though. Angel had gone out a hero, regardless of what he had done before it. Hated to tell that to Buffy, hated to tell her that I had seen him doing something that nobody could survive.
Didn't even know how to approach it. Wasn't exactly thinking with a full deck right now, and I wa sso out of it, that I wasn't sodding enraptured by looking at the person that i had wanted to see for almost a year now.
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Regardless of the rain, I was still covered in Spike's blood. I knew when I saw him laying down in the alley that he was losing blood. I ripped off art of my shirt, and tried to tie it around his head. I was no surgeon, but I knew that a simple shirt wasn't going to work forever. He needed some other kind of help, he needed it to be sewed up. It wasn't just the back of his head either. It was on his back, the puncture wounds in the front. He was bleeding everywhere.
Any human would have died from just one wound. I tried to stop the blood as best as I could, and I also tried not to think about other things that wouldn't leave my mind. My head was yelling at me to go out there and try to fight the things out there that were undoubtedly killing the innocent people out there. My heart was telling me to stay here, save Spike, and look for Angel. My heart was denying everything that my head was screaming at me for.
I knew that Spike needed blood. I wasn't blind, and I knew that he probably needed it as fast as possible.
I couldn't help but think of Giles right now. Even though I was angry at him, I needed him here. I needed someone else here. Anyone. Xander, Giles, Willow...
I knew what Spike was hinting at when he said he needed blood. I was thinking the same thing. He needed blood, mine. I was more than willing, but two fighters weakened is a lot worse than one strong and one weak. All I could hope for was that there wasn't anything coming through the doors in a while. I knew Spike needed a considerable amount.
The thing was, though, even though we had been on different tracks for the ladder part of the year, I still trusted him. That wasn't going to go away.
I exposed my neck to him, and even though I knew the risk, I wasn't going to let him die.
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"Uh...Uh..slaya, uh, Buffy, when people apply tourniquets to other people, or undead people, they usually don't tie them around the victim's neck."
Would have laughed if I wasn't so weak and if things weren't so bad around here. Gunn was gone, Wesley was gone, big blue had bought the sodding farm and still had to tell her that the beefcake owner of the domicile that we were currently in had probably been decapitated after flying through the building, upstairs from where we were.
Saw that she was frightful and just wanted to suggest that she go down the road to the butcher's market. Didn't want pig's blood, but didn't think drinking human blood would be the best thing for me right now, and still knew that I needed it, because it would be the only thing to make me strong enough to fight again, and knew that fighting might be in order.
Still, when she exposed her neck and saw the two bitemarks again, not for the first time, realized that it was Angel who had put his marks there. It was Angel, because I had seen his bitemarks plenty of times before. Her blood would be like the blood of others that I had experienced before and probably stronger because it was Buffy, and she was no average Josephine sodding slayer. Plus, loved her and didn't want to drain her.
Loved her, but she didn't give me any choice, and since I wasn't strong enough to fight her, and certainly didn't exactly despise her tempting me with her blood, I bit in.
Like an elixir, I could feel myself building with the first drop, and my strength increased with every pull. The need, the hunger..well, yeah, it wasn't there, but her blood was so warm, so sweet, I gripped her as my strength increased, but then, something not so funny happened.
Realized that I had just done what Angel had done at some point, and stopped, pushing her away, my head still throbbing, but my body strong. "Blood of a slaya, Buffy. Nothing better..."
Knew that she wouldn't enjoy the joke at her strengths expense, so pushed the subject somewhere I probably shouldn't have, considering the circumstances. "Buffy, when did Angel bite you? Have seen the marks before, but have never found out when or wanted to bring up his name enough to know why."
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I smiled. Duh, Buffy. At least Spike still had that Spike quality about him.
The last time I exposed my neck willingly, it had been with Angel, and I was scarred there for life. I was never going to forget that, and that scar would never let me. Spike was hesitant, and I wasn't going to let him not drink because that would mean that his chances of becoming strong again was going to me a lot slimmer. I was a slayer, I could heal fast. Faster than Spike.
He sunk his teeth in me, and I could feel the blood escaping me faster than the air was coming in my lungs. I had to take a deep breath, because the pain I felt with a fang piercing my vein in my neck wasn't pleasant. It hurt, and the blood leaving me, as I could feel Spike getting grip around me. He let go, and I sat back on the couch. I was weaker, and if I stood up, I was going to be pretty dizzy. I looked at him, already knowing that my blood was affecting him.
"Buffy, when did Angel bite you? Have seen the marks before, but have never found out when or wanted to bring up his name enough to know why."
I put my hand to my neck, feeling the new marks, and the pain it had. I couldn't believe how long ago that was. Years.
"Faith shot Angel with a poisonous arrow when she was...evil. The only cure known was the blood of a slayer."
I left out some major parts. I left out the other dark period of my life...when I tried to kill Faith. When I thought that I had. The day before Angel left for LA. I told Spike what he wanted to know. I didn't want to stick my foot in a place that we really didn't need to go.
I pushed on my neck, and looked at him. I didn't want to bring it up, but I couldn't sit here and have it burning in the back of my mind...that was torture enough.
"Was...was he with you in the alley?"
I stared deeply at him. I didn't have that feeling that I had anymore. The feeling that told me Angel was around. The feeling that I always had in the past.
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Normally, might have made a remark about how much I liked Faith already, but now wasn't that time. Wasn't a shock to me, though. She was all with the rogue big bad at a time and Angel had been with the white hats at that point.
Different then the Wolfram and Hart gig, but sort of the same. Sort of. Same thing as always right now, though, Buffy was going to ask where Angel was, and guessed it was about time to show her roughly where the pile of ashes was. Was feeling considerably stronger and stood, but even with Buffy's blood in me, my head throbbed and the sodding equilibrium wasn't there. Started to fall, but found my strength, and felt guilty, taking her blood.
"Are you feeling strong enough, love?"
Hadn't thought about calling her love, and didn't know what I was going to call her when I did see her again. Many scenarios had flashed through my mind about meeting her again, and I had wanted to all year, but never envisioned in bloody ions that our first meeting would ental me getting a sodding major ass-whipping, nor that I would drink from Buffy.
She did have a look on her face that led me to believe that I was going to have to deliver heartache to her.
"Was...was he with you in the alley?"
Stared at her, sullen. Was actually missing old Liam myself. Strange as it seemed, death was never something that I wished for him. Maybe eternal ephigy's burned in his honor and constant jokes about his hair gel and forehead. But not like this, and not this way and especially, not in front of Buffy.
"He...well, yeah, he was in the alley, Buffy. Fought a dragon and then he wasn't in the alley anymore. Went sort of airborne, bloody hard and fast. Don't think...."
Couldn't finish the statement.
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I looked at him, and took my hand away from my neck. I nodded, as I watched him stand up. There was no way that a few minutes was going to make him fully healthy. Hell, I knew that not even a few days was going to do that. He was still high off my blood, and I hoped that it would stick for a little while.
I was waiting for him to answer my question. I knew that he wasn't the type that would dodge it, especially regarding Angel. The thing was, that I knew he was trying to stall. I wasn't going to accept what he was going to say until I saw things for myself. Until I saw the proof, regardless of how heartbreaking that was.
"He...well, yeah, he was in the alley, Buffy. Fought a dragon and then he wasn't in the alley anymore. Went sort of airborne, bloody hard and fast. Don't think...."
He didn't finish the sentence. I knew what was coming. I knew what was coming when I heard the tone of his voice. The minute that he started to speak, I immediately regretted asking him that question. I really didn't want to hear this. This was a nightmare. One that wouldn't go away, and was going to stick with me for a long time.
I stood up, and felt completely dizzy, but I didn't falter.
"Where.."
He was probably about to finish the sentence, but I wouldn't have any of it. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to stand here helpless, scolding myself for not coming here earlier. If I had come here earlier then this wouldn't have happened. People wouldn't be dead, people wouldn't by dying and Angel would be stand...
I could have stopped this.
"Where was he thrown."
I was so angry. I wasn't angry at Spike, more at myself for the moment. I swallowed hard. There was still a chance.
There had to be.
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"Where was he thrown?"
Wanted to do something to convince her that everything was going to be okay in the end. Wanted to, but knew better. Knew that there wasn't going to be any quick recovery for her when she saw the ashes that had become of Angel, if they were inside and not washed away outside in the rain somewhere.
Looked down, and felt her hand on my chin, urging me to take her to him. Looked back at her, saw that she was weak and that it was my fault that she was weak, even though she had offered, and I felt ashamed.
Felt even worse about having to take her to Angel, though. Couldn't imagine anything worse. Couldn't believe it was true. Couldn't believe that I was the only one that had survived and that all of those sodding demons were still running the streets.
Couldn't do this to her, but had to. "He's just this way, up the stairs. Or, least I ho..."
Couldn't finish that sentence. Never thought that it would come to this. Me drinking Buffy and me showing her the dead remnants of her former lover, who I despised being her former lover. Still, he was my grandsire and all. Had to do this.
Walked up the stairs to the top of the hotel. Looked to my right and opened one door, then another, and finally she pushed open the door, studied the room for a minute, seemed choked up. Thought that she was looking at a telltale big pile o' dust, until I went to the door and saw that he was still corporeal. Son of a bitch, like me, just didn't die.
Didn't feel that bad about it, either, as Buffy came to him, and heard something coming from downstairs. Somebody had opened the door. Thought that it was a demon until I heard a very distinctive voice.
Buffy now held Angel in her arms and forehead didn't respond. "Buffy, is Faith supposed to be here, because I think that the bird is downstairs."
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