listen to this song, let it make your heart feel better...
Well, I'm better today. Yesterday was spent sicker than I can remember being in years. I made the mistake of not sleeping and taking caffeine pills (and then without paying attention, 2 EXTRA strong cups of coffee) and found myself massively sick. Convuslsing, throwing up, the works. I definately thought I had killed myself. Luckily Caffeine overdoses are possible, but I would have had to take a lot more than I did. My bad.
Training has been pretty busy, but we're just at the beginning of it. I CAN, however, say that I'm more than excited about the staff, the opportunities and the path this could possibly send my life in. I'm leaving my options open.
I'm going to resign from the DJJ job, however. I dont think my mental capacity, or my functional one, can handle it at the current time. I dont want to do 2 jobs, half assed, and then try to put schoolwork on top of it. I'd rather have to budget carefully, skimp where i have to, and be happy and successful in my endeavors rather than mentally broken, lacking time, and perhaps mere seconds from a mental breakdown at all time. It was a hard decision to make, but after thinking so much about what I know, what i've been told as well, about myself, and how I empathize far too much, I've even come to the mildly depressing realization that as much as I want to help, a field like social work might be too much for me to bear. I will graduate with my degree in it, yes, but I'm very much on the fence on whether or not I will pursue a masters in it. I have other options that, at the moment, look quite promising.
I finally slept last night, in my new apartment. Before I'd been spending the nights staring at the walls, or reading, or waking every 20-30 minutes. Last night, from being sick all day, probably, pure exhaustion set in and my body succumbed to sleep. It was blissful, and honestly, its SUCH a comfortable bed, i dont understand why I couldn't sleep before. Also, i'm getting my car fixed saturday. For the wonderful (and im sure rip off price) of about $175, yay new water pump and working car again. Although I must admit, I kinda like riding my bike everywhere. With the way gas prices are, I'll be happy to have my freedom (car) back, but I will probably do the majority of the stuff that is feasible, on my bike. I didnt mind grocery shopping on it, except when I couldnt go up hills because my knees were constantly hitting the bags hanging from the handle bars.
At any rate, I woke up about 45 minutes earlier than my alarm said I have to, but now i'm thinking another shower would be a nice way to start my day. Hope everyones lovely.
Things are beginning to look up,
Jess
Training has been pretty busy, but we're just at the beginning of it. I CAN, however, say that I'm more than excited about the staff, the opportunities and the path this could possibly send my life in. I'm leaving my options open.
I'm going to resign from the DJJ job, however. I dont think my mental capacity, or my functional one, can handle it at the current time. I dont want to do 2 jobs, half assed, and then try to put schoolwork on top of it. I'd rather have to budget carefully, skimp where i have to, and be happy and successful in my endeavors rather than mentally broken, lacking time, and perhaps mere seconds from a mental breakdown at all time. It was a hard decision to make, but after thinking so much about what I know, what i've been told as well, about myself, and how I empathize far too much, I've even come to the mildly depressing realization that as much as I want to help, a field like social work might be too much for me to bear. I will graduate with my degree in it, yes, but I'm very much on the fence on whether or not I will pursue a masters in it. I have other options that, at the moment, look quite promising.
I finally slept last night, in my new apartment. Before I'd been spending the nights staring at the walls, or reading, or waking every 20-30 minutes. Last night, from being sick all day, probably, pure exhaustion set in and my body succumbed to sleep. It was blissful, and honestly, its SUCH a comfortable bed, i dont understand why I couldn't sleep before. Also, i'm getting my car fixed saturday. For the wonderful (and im sure rip off price) of about $175, yay new water pump and working car again. Although I must admit, I kinda like riding my bike everywhere. With the way gas prices are, I'll be happy to have my freedom (car) back, but I will probably do the majority of the stuff that is feasible, on my bike. I didnt mind grocery shopping on it, except when I couldnt go up hills because my knees were constantly hitting the bags hanging from the handle bars.
At any rate, I woke up about 45 minutes earlier than my alarm said I have to, but now i'm thinking another shower would be a nice way to start my day. Hope everyones lovely.
Things are beginning to look up,
Jess