24 (It's just one of those days)
[Voice | Private to Self | Moderately Hackable]
It seems like I'm the only one of the Shinsengumi who hasn't been changed. I guess that's good--I can keep an eye on the rest of them, if they can't control themselves. They probably won't have problems with that, but if it comes down to it, I can...
Toudou-kun being gone is harder to get used to than I expected. We used to kick him out a lot, and talk about how he should move in with Harada and give us some privacy, but...well, he's a good man. A good friend. It's hard not to miss him, even when he's probably happy back home.
Toshi is really worrying me. I know he's hiding something--something that makes him think he's useless to me and Okita, something he wants to handle alone. I know that's just how he is--he never wants to ask for help, even when he really needs it. He never has. But...he sounds so frustrated, I think he really needs help. It feels like he doesn't trust me, and that's...I don't know. I just want to help him be happy, and not be treated like I'm barging in when I'm worried about my oldest friend...
I really shouldn't complain so much. It's not like this kind of thing would usually upset me so much... I think the fight that that young woman got into is...getting to me. The way she's talking...it makes me feel like I'm back at the Ikedaya, with all that blood everywhere. Taking a life is such a horrible feeling...I still don't know what to say or do, or who to apologize to. I wish I could say something to the girl, but how could I comfort someone else when I still don't know how to deal with what I've done?
If anyone found this recording, please don't worry yourself over it, and I'll have to ask you not to tell my men. I just needed to let that out, and I unload on Yamanami so much already, and if Toshi's not telling me what's worrying him then I'm not telling, either...It's nothing I can't take care of, really.
Just...a hard day.
[/Private]
Okita, would you and Toshi-san be willing to take our cat for the week? She doesn't like me, and she's afraid of Yamanami's fox form.
It seems like I'm the only one of the Shinsengumi who hasn't been changed. I guess that's good--I can keep an eye on the rest of them, if they can't control themselves. They probably won't have problems with that, but if it comes down to it, I can...
Toudou-kun being gone is harder to get used to than I expected. We used to kick him out a lot, and talk about how he should move in with Harada and give us some privacy, but...well, he's a good man. A good friend. It's hard not to miss him, even when he's probably happy back home.
Toshi is really worrying me. I know he's hiding something--something that makes him think he's useless to me and Okita, something he wants to handle alone. I know that's just how he is--he never wants to ask for help, even when he really needs it. He never has. But...he sounds so frustrated, I think he really needs help. It feels like he doesn't trust me, and that's...I don't know. I just want to help him be happy, and not be treated like I'm barging in when I'm worried about my oldest friend...
I really shouldn't complain so much. It's not like this kind of thing would usually upset me so much... I think the fight that that young woman got into is...getting to me. The way she's talking...it makes me feel like I'm back at the Ikedaya, with all that blood everywhere. Taking a life is such a horrible feeling...I still don't know what to say or do, or who to apologize to. I wish I could say something to the girl, but how could I comfort someone else when I still don't know how to deal with what I've done?
If anyone found this recording, please don't worry yourself over it, and I'll have to ask you not to tell my men. I just needed to let that out, and I unload on Yamanami so much already, and if Toshi's not telling me what's worrying him then I'm not telling, either...It's nothing I can't take care of, really.
Just...a hard day.
[/Private]
Okita, would you and Toshi-san be willing to take our cat for the week? She doesn't like me, and she's afraid of Yamanami's fox form.