just realized that his last entry was over a month ago...

[not_aquaman]

Motherfucker!

Come on, if you're going to shoot me in the head, at least give me some time to prepare for it! Jesus! No one's got any fucking courtesy anymore.

...wait a--I'm alive?! I'm alive! HAHA! I'm alive! Cockfaced arsehole shot me point-blank and didn't even kill me! What do you think of that now, you bastard?

Comments

[shieldofjustice]

You're alive?! But how?! That shouldn't be possible!

[not_aquaman]

Why the fuck is everyone so upset that I'm alive all of a sudden? Was somebody planning my funeral or something?

[shieldofjustice]

Er...no, that's not what I meant. I just...I don't understand how you can be alive now.

[not_aquaman]

Christ, it's not like he actually shot me, it just grazed me, or something!

[Liiiieeeeees.]

[shieldofjustice]

That isn't what the autopsy said. According to the report, you were shot point-blank in the back of the head.

[not_aquaman]

Well--it's wrong! They fucked up the report or something, because if I was shot point-blank in the head, I think I'd have noticed!

[shieldofjustice]

I don't know. The autopsy report matched the wound when I read it...

...Well, I don't think we're going to get anywhere if we keep debating how you survived. So instead...do you know who shot you?

[not_aquaman]

Do I know who shot me? Does a paedo drive a white van? Of course I know who fucking shot me!

It was that arsehole with a tonne of x's in his name. Xanxus, or some shit like that.

[shieldofjustice]

Xanxus...thanks. I'll have to report that right away.