I DO NOT HAVE EYE LASERS.
Image and code borrowed from the delightful Deadpool Bugle- it's a blog all about me!
Okay FOX, you're disowned! I won't even do the voiceover for World's Most Dangerous Assassinations! That's it! We're done.
You're worse than Daniel Way.
As cool as they are, I don't have eye lasers! I held out hope that you didn't PUT SWORDS IN MY ARMS, but nooooooooo. Can't even keep my origin story seperate from ol' Logan buddy. I BLAME YOU TOO, LOGAN, you stinkin' ball of a man, if you weren't so gosh darned popular I wouldn't have been dragged into this! I even feel sorry for the rest of Weapon X! I mean sure, they shot me up with a failed copy of your healing factor, so that kinda makes us half-brothers in a way (the kind that punch each other in the head every time they see each other!) but come on! They just decided to take everything else and shove it in me too!
ETA: APPARENTLY THEY TOOK MY VOICE. Merc with a Mouth without a Mouth? Even Zombie!Me has halfa one! %@#$!#^! Ryan Reynolds, why must you be adequate, and then they get rid of you for that? It's enough to make a grown man cry! Maybe the first half of the movie is still worth a laugh or two...
I can only hope that Wolvie beats me until I'm red and black and me again. Man, never thought I'd say that.