Nanda Parbat, Tibet, Friday
"Pondering the insoluable?"
Tot's voice broke Renee's thoughts as she stared at the rose Isis gave her. Still in bloom, still utterly perfect.
"How can your flower continue to live without food, water or soil?" He continued. "Or just asking why it, like you, are still alive?" There was a small pause before he added, "And Charlie isn't."
Renee shook her head, still looking at the rose. "I was... remembering when Isis gave it to me. I think she knew Charlie was sick, Tot. I think she knew there was nothing she could do."
Sighing, Tot sat down and grabbed one of his many books. "I can't speak to that. ...Renee, where have you been?"
"I was on the mountain." Renee answered dully, putting the rose down. "With the monks."
"You walked off, Renee. You left without a word. Not to me, not to Richard."
"Where is Richard?"
Tot shot her a look. "At that ice cave of his. He wants you to meet him there."
Standing warily at the mouth of the cave, Renee looked in. "Richard?"
Her reflection all around her in the ice.
"Professor Rodor said you were expecting me..."
"Eating rice with the monks of Rama Kushna, a change of clothes, and you think that does it?" Richard asked, the sneer in his voice evident even if she couldn't see him yet.
Suddenly he was there and attacking her. "Or is this just a case of fake it, till you make it?"
"Charlie wanted me to carry on for him," Renee said, moving back to avoid the punch and lashing out at him in return. "That's what I'm trying--" She grunted as he hit her in the ribs. "--to do."
He moved back, letting her keep up the attack and drawing her further into the cave.
"You're doing what you always do when faced with loss or guilt," Richard said, blocking a pretty decent kick. "You've just changed the props. A gi instead of a bottle--" He held her foot, not letting her pull away. "A kick instead of a kiss."
Renee struggled to pull her foot free, snapping finally. "I'm not denying my grief."
"You want to honor Sage?" Richard swung her around to hit one of the walls of the cave.
"Then stop running from who you are--" He grabbed her by the hair, forcing her to look in the multiple reflections. "Deal with who you are, so you can see who you can be."
She looked.
"I can't."
And then fled.