Comments | not_a_prophecy: December - William Hazlitt quote

not_a_prophecy

December - William Hazlitt quote

Dec 01, 2007 21:47

I hadn't laid eyes on my sister since that day on the island. She took off into the woods leaving me there and I wasn't sure what that meant. I can't promise you anything, Tyler. That's what she'd told me before leaving me on the beach. Our beach. Or at least it had been. Not anymore though. I knew now that it was theirs. Hers and Sophia's ( Read more... )

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neverbeenfree December 2 2007, 03:19:39 UTC

I was trying to enjoy the sunshine while I could. It was Saturday afternoon and I was home and I tended not to hang out there that much these days. Don't get me wrong in the last month I've been carefully watching my son to make sure he was safe but I had hardly managed to talk to him all of that. Maybe a 'hey, how was your day' or a 'good morning' over breakfast every once in awhile but that was it ( ... )

not_a_prophecy December 2 2007, 08:58:52 UTC

I shrugged when she asked how my day was. My day just full of excitement. There was the sleeping until noon and then hanging out in the room until not long ago. Pretty eventful day if I do say so myself. No, my days hadn't been really much at all lately when you got right down to it ( ... )

neverbeenfree December 2 2007, 19:02:46 UTC

I shrugged as I pushed the fridge door closed and started to uncap the bottle I had just retrieved. "Fine." I told him, with a slight forced smile when he asked me about my day. The house had been excessively lonely when he and Harry had taken their trip to Japan but luckily I had work to wile away the long hours of emptiness ( ... )

not_a_prophecy December 3 2007, 00:06:20 UTC

Well, this was awkward. She seemed just about as distant as I did right now. God I hated this. After we got back from the trip, I knew I needed to talk to her sometime. It was just the getting into the talking and working up to the stuff besides the how are yous and I'm fines that was the problem ( ... )

neverbeenfree December 3 2007, 00:35:54 UTC

I was reading outloud from the menus that were pinned up on the fridge but it was like he wasn't even listening cause he changed the subject. I just gave him a look when he asked about school. "Sure." I told him. "There's always stuff to do there. We'd love the help."

With that I pulled all of the menus off of the fridge and put them down on the counter in front of him. "Pizza?" I asked and waited for him to nod before I pulled the phone off of the wall and dialed the number. I ordered a couple of pizzas and set the phone back down before I scooped the menus up and put them back on the fridge.

"How is school going?" I asked him, my tone still conversational. I really had no idea what to talk to him about anymore which shouldn't be a surprise. I'd already proven I wasn't really cut out for motherhood. But who is? "Are you thinking about what colleges you wanna apply to yet?" I asked him. I didn't have a clue how early you were supposed to actually do that considering I was a high school dropout.

not_a_prophecy December 4 2007, 04:52:30 UTC

I didn't really care what we had to eat so I just nodded when she asked about pizza. Fine with me. Then she asked about school and really I didn't want to talk about school at all. The slayer school was one thing because, hey, they taught people how to better kill vampires. Might as well get well-versed on the subject now, right? Yeah, whatever ( ... )

neverbeenfree December 6 2007, 01:05:03 UTC

"Well, that's okay." I told him with a small smile when he told me that he hadn't been thinking about college lately. Who could blame him with everything going on? "There's always time for that. You never know, I might go with you." I winked at him. Yeah, right but I could dream right? I still didn't even have a high school diploma. Maybe one of these days I should look into getting that GED.

He switched gears on me quickly and told me that he was sorry for how things had been lately. My expression immediately changed as I walked over and put my hand on his arm. "You have nothing to be sorry about." I told him seriously. If anyone should be sorry it was me. I was the one who let Sophia into the house in the first place ( ... )

not_a_prophecy December 7 2007, 04:11:09 UTC

"It's not your fault," I told her honestly. It was something I was still struggling with myself, but I believed it when I said it to her. Looking down at a spot on the table, I shook my head. "We all deserve better."

Sighing, I wanted to say I was sorry for all the other stuff, but the truth was I was still upset about it sometimes. I got it, I really did, but whenever I thought about that day in the basement I sometimes still wanted to be angry with both of them.

"I shouldn't have been acting like I have been lately. I mean.. I-.." I looked back at her, not really sure what I wanted to say. "I'll never think she's not my sister, somewhere she has to be, but I get it. I know why you and Dad both wanted to keep me away."

Half rolling my eyes at myself, I shook my head again. Yeah, I knew full well why and I had the mark that would scar to prove it. Always a reminder of what my sister has turned into.

"I was angry. And.. I'm sorry."

neverbeenfree December 13 2007, 00:19:33 UTC

It's not your fault. For a second I thought we were reenacting a scene from Goodwill Hunting or something until I got a good look at my son's face and realized he was completely serious. It was my fault. I let her into the house and it was something I was gonna have to live with along with everything else I'd already done before that. But I wasn't gonna let it eat at me so much that I just gave up. Fuck a hero. Be yourself. But Tyler made me wanna be better, he deserved a better world to live in ( ... )

not_a_prophecy December 13 2007, 04:34:40 UTC

We both were saying we were sorry and the other was saying how neither of us needed to be sorry about anything. We both felt like shit for different reasons and plenty of reasons that were the same. Neither of us had anything to feel sorry about yet we both were feeling nothing but sorry and guilty and whatever the fuck else that went along with feeling this way ( ... )

neverbeenfree December 15 2007, 17:36:37 UTC

"Sure." I replied brightly, trying to lighten the mood around here a little bit. I didn't know when the hell I turned into little Miss Ray of Fucking Sunshine but I knew that if Tyler weren't around I wouldn't even bother. He was the only thing keeping me grounded right now, keeping me from getting too obsessed about things. I wonder if he knew that. No. Probably not. And that was good, that was the way it was supposed to be. Kids aren't supposed to know what kind of rotten things their parents are capable of ( ... )

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