The Estate, Sidra, Glacia, Tuesday Evening Fandom Time

[not_a_parakeet]

Warren was going to have to have words with the Estate's gardener.

... Well, okay, granted, it was his own fault for flubbing the landing. He'd picked a tree branch that was perhaps not sturdy enough to hold the weight of a grown man, even if his bones were hollow, and it had snapped underfoot, sending him toppling through several more branches

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[glacial_queen]

Karla was in the Queen's Garden, enjoying the feel of the warm earth under her fingers. She loved the early days of autumn, when the air was delightfully crisp but the sun was still warm in the sky. While the mountains had already seen their first snows, the south of Glacia looked like a sunset, the fields of wheat turning red and gold as the harvest approached.

In short, it was a picturesque day. And look! To cap it off, here came her fiancé to help cap it off. "Hello love!" she said, pushing herself up on her knees and waving. "You look...rumpled?"

[not_a_parakeet]

"I fell," Warren sighed, wrinkling his nose a little as he brought a hand up to rub idly at his arm. "There was a loose branch, and that happened to be the one I decided to land on."

Be proud, Karla. There were not many people Warren would actually admit that to.

[glacial_queen]

And she was rewarding that trust by not laughing out loud, no matter how much she longed to. "That's my strong and graceful male," she said, dimples deep. "Come here and let me try to set you aright."

His clothes were wrinkled, there were sticks in his hair, he had a smudge of dirt on his face, and there were leaves lodged in his feathers. The temptation to snap a picture with her phone was almost too much for her, so she quickly moved closer to start plucking things off of him, keeping her hands busy and out of trouble.

Well, that had been the plan, anyway. In reality, she brought her hand up to start cleaning him off, saw what was lodged in his wings, and yelped, flinging herself backwards and away from him. "Bloody Hell, Warren!" she snapped, no longer amused. "A little warning would be nice!"

[not_a_parakeet]

That... was not at all the reaction that Warren had been expecting, no. Warren blinked at her, and then stretched one wing forward slightly to get a better look at it.

... Just sticks and leaves. A few broken feathers. He was far enough from his molt that he didn't have any bloodfeathers to worry about, and it didn't look as though he'd picked up some sort of tiny killer rodent that was looking to attack her or anything.

"Um," he said, super intelligently. "Warning?"

[glacial_queen]

"You're covered in poison ivy!" Karla said, a little shrill. "I mean, literally covered!"

She floated the leaves she'd been about to touch out of his wing and over in front of his face.

"Bright red and green glossy leaves? In groups of three? Leaves of three, let them be?" She looked at him for any hint of comprehension. "...Have you really never seen poison ivy before?"

Karla knew it existed on Earth! She'd seen some!

[not_a_parakeet]

Warren was going to just stare at the leaf, and then look at her like maybe she'd grown a second head.

"Yeah, we got loads of it back in the condo."

The one he'd spent most of his life in. Remember that condo, Karla?

[glacial_queen]

"You never even saw a nature program?" Karla asked, summoning the gardeners to her on psychic threads. "Never mind. That's not important now. Mother Night, where did you land? We're going to need to clear this out."

Ugh, once poison ivy got a foothold it just grew.

[not_a_parakeet]

"There's a whole field of it out in the woods. That clearing just before the small pond?"

Warren made a face as he reached back to scratch the nape of his neck. He'd been pretty thoroughly coated in it.

"You can almost see it from here." He squinted, and then pointed. "Not the field, but the tree I denuded on the way down."

[glacial_queen]

"Field?! Bloody Hell." Karla continued issuing silent orders, which resulted in five grim-faced gardeners heading to the spot that Warren indicated, carrying shovels, long knives, and many, many pairs of gloves. Yes, they could shield, but that was no excuse for taking chances.

Thwap! A phantom hand slapped at the hand Warren was using to scratch at his neck. "No! Stop that! You're just going to make it worse!"

Darkness have mercy, Warren didn't know anything about dealing with poison ivy, did he? This was going to be terrible. But they should have a few days before the symptoms got really bad...right?

[not_a_parakeet]

Warren jumped a little and blinked, rubbing at the back of his hand and giving Karla a wounded puppy look.

"Worse? Worse than what? I've got a healing factor, Karla. I'll be fine."

Yes. Fine.

[glacial_queen]

"You're going to spread the oil," Karla informed him. "And even if you have a Healing factor, I don't. So the more you scratch, the higher the likelihood that it will somehow end up on me and you don't even want to imagine how miserable an experience that will be."

For him. She would make it miserable for him. She had ways, Warren. Waaaaays.

"Let's go inside. You need a hot shower with the harshest soap known to mankind to make sure you get all the oil off of you."

[not_a_parakeet]

Warren sighed and nodded a little, turning toward the Estate again, pulling his wings in as close to himself as possible so that nobody could run into them by accident or something. They were starting to itch, the leaves and sticks pricking into the skin under the feathers, and as unconcerned as he was, even he could see the draw to washing some of the muck out.

"Fair enough," he grumbled. "How hard is this stuff to get rid of, anyway?"

Like, he wasn't sharing a bed with her tonight? Or his shower was going to last a while longer than usual?

[glacial_queen]

"Technically, the oil can last up to seven years if it's not washed right," Karla said sardonically. "So even once they finish clearing that patch of poison ivy, people will have to be careful around the tree you fell out of and anything else around."

You know, just to give you a rough idea of how hard it was to get rid of, Warren.

"Fortunately, we should have some special soap in the laundry that they use to deal with the gardener's clothing and whatnot. I'll call for some of that when I send your clothing down."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You have no idea how lucky you are right now."

[not_a_parakeet]

See? When Warren had been trying to carve his own wings off at the tender age of seven, how could he possibly have known that the same healing factor that was making his job so difficult would lead to him not...

... itching.

He just gave her a wry smile as he moved his hand to rub at his wrist.

"The plant really earned that 'poison' in the name, huh?"

[glacial_queen]

"Well, it won't kill you, but you'll definitely wish you were dead," Karla said wryly. "Especially when you're little, not allowed to scratch, and the Healer says it's not bad enough to Heal with Craft."

You know. Hypothetically.

"But after a long shower, you should be all right." She paused. "Unless you managed to swallow some?"

Even then, she'd be fine, but that would be harder to wash away. She mostly wanted to know because for kissing purposes.

[not_a_parakeet]

"Yeah, no," Warren laughed, shaking his head. "I think I swallowed a bug on the way down, but I didn't spend any time grazing while I was busy healing a sprained everything."

There was a moment's pause, and then he frowned a little, ruffling his feathers.

"So, what are the symptoms of this stuff, anyway? Just itching?"