(no subject)
This probably is the worse thing anyone has ever said. But I keep thinking that on some level I really don't want this child. I know it's going to ruin me. It has already. And given all the issues from my past surrounding this I'm not sure I can deal.
I'm pretty sure I've made up my mind on a few things. I don't want to be here. Never thought I'd say this, but maybe death was too much. I also know Wes is confused, and he's confusing me. And like I had decided earlier I don't need that. So unless he's got something to change my mind I want out. I'm Lilah Morgan. Not an emotional tool to feed into some man's mind games.
I need to talk to someone. Anyone. But you know how that whole making enemies thing was working so well for me? It still is. I'll be honest, I even considered going to see Darla.
//Unlocked//
Luckily for me there's a girl who writes porn-like stories about Angel and Xander fanfic, who seems more than happy to spend time with me. Of course she just has to sneak out of Buffy's. Which I'm guessing is proving somewhat problematic at this point, since we've had a bit of a delay.
On the upside I've may have managed to procure groceries with my free time. Now, if I can just keep them down.
Sidenote: Wesley's British friend...Somewhat snippy. Not entirely classless. Generalized distaste for Americans. Said congratulations. Not entirely un-amusing. - Although. like I said, he was rather up in arms when I pointed out the whole holier than thou garbage didn't work on me. Apparently I'm not allowed to read people's files anymore?
Sidenote 2 : Must, sleep. Only way I can explain it at this point residual post death tolerances. In other words I may not need sleep. I doubt it though
Sidenote 3: Savannah any movies you want to watch? I think I can flirt my way into having several dvds dropped off....