MCR Hospital AU
TITLE: I never told you what I do for a living.
CHAPTER: part 3
PAIRING: Frank/Gerard
RATING:Individually rated. NC-17 for swears and boy touching
SUMMARY: Frank Iero, male nurse at Pete Wentz's private hospital and possibly more to one new patient he can't keep his eyes off of.
DISCLAIMER: Not real, never happened.
WARNING: Standard implied rape warning.
A/N: Beta'd by behindskylines
and sexifulness
part one
part two
Part 3
"So..." Frank started, gently moving Gerard's leg so he had one on either side of him. "How long do I have you for this evening?"
"How long do you want me for?" Gerard asked in reply. What was probably meant to be a seductive half smirk spread across his lips but the tone of his voice gave away something more like longing and a want to feel needed, and it wasn't lost on Frank.
He wanted to say "always,” but it just sounded cheesy and stupid in his head, so he settled on, "The whole night," even though he knew it wasn't going to happen on Christmas Eve of all days. But it made Gerard smile, so Frank figured it was worth it.
Gerard looked at his watch. "Well, you've probably got me for another twenty minutes or so." Frank pouted and Gerard quickly kissed it away so he could continue. "Mikey dropped me off. I told him to go get a coffee or something while he waited. You're lucky I'm here at all, my mom didn't wanna let me out of her sight for even a second but I pointed out I should really give you your clothes back."
Frank shrugged, "I can't say I blame her to be perfectly honest."
"Thanks. But I think you should stop talking and just kiss me now. I missed your lips last night," he admitted softly.
Frank didn't waste any time bringing Gerard's body down against him and threading his hands in his hair. A quiet moan escaped Gerard as Frank slid their tongues together inside the mouth above him, and he realized he'd been right before; Gerard had obviously been drinking the same coffee Frank had been buying for him because he tasted soft and dreamy, like the hazelnut shots and marshmallow cubes, and Frank melted into the sofa, moving down as Gerard followed, laying over him like a blanket Frank never wanted to take off.
Their mouths touched lazily after that, mostly just ghosts of kisses on each other's lips and cute smiles back and forth as Frank hovered his fingers over Gerard's back and sides, still afraid of hurting him. "I can give you a whole night," Gerard said between kisses, "soon," and licks across Frank's parted lips, "I promise."
"I just wanna be close to you, get to know you," Frank whispered. "Slow. Remember?"
"I know, Frank, I know." And as much as Frank wanted Gerard to stay longer, as, "slooow," tumbled from Gerard's throat to his own, he could feel a slight hardness against his thigh and kind of wanted Mikey to get there quickly so that he could get some 'alone time' before his brain decided to backtrack on going slow. But then, it seemed Gerard was the one forgetting it, pressing his hips into Frank and getting harder against him. "Oh, Frank."
Frank held Gerard's hips and pushed his own down into the sofa, whispering, "Hey." Gerard looked at him, blushing, and stilled in Frank's hands, relaxing his body and pushing his face into Frank's neck.
"Sorry. You make me," he stopped to lay a kiss over Frank's tattoo. "Being with you makes me forget myself a little."
"It's not like I mind, just that we're gonna get interrupted any--" And then it sounded, the knock at the door signaling Mikey's return “--second."
With obvious reluctance, Gerard climbed off and handed Frank the paper bag he'd brought that Frank hadn't even noticed sitting on his floor. "Your clothes, my mom washed them. And I'll see you real soon." Gerard headed for his jacket, straightening out his jeans as best he could and folding his jacket over his arm to hide his crotch.
"Oh, hang on. Let me get yours, they're upstairs."
"Keep 'em for me. So you know I'm coming back," he said, hand ready to open the door as Mikey knocked again.
It was vaguely reassuring to Frank to know that something of Gerard's would be with him that night. Even if it did consist of a smelly leather jacket and a paint-stained band shirt. Gerard finally opened the door after one last quick kiss and a gentle hug with Frank, leaving Mikey standing there. "C'mon, slow coach," he called, waiting at the car.
Mikey rolled his eyes and gave Frank a friendly nod before leaning in closer to him. "Gerard told me what happened. Thanks for being there with him when he needed it." Frank waved it away, saying he couldn't not be there once he realized what Gerard had been through.
Once alone again, and after another relatively fast foray into his pants (he hoped that when the time eventually hopefully came things wouldn't be over quite so quickly with Gerard), Frank tucked into some of the nut roast his mom had dropped by at some point, before heading back to bed. He wasn't in it long before he jumped out and found Gerard's Iron Maiden shirt, bringing it back into bed with him to clutch between his fingers. And he was well aware how much of teenager with a crush it made him seem, and in all honesty, it didn't smell too great, but it took some of the pungent pumpkin smell from his nose, so he couldn't bring himself to care.
When Frank woke up on Christmas morning, he felt better and more awake than he had in days. He showered and put his piercings back in. Christmas day was never formal and always fun, so for one day he was allowed to, but everyone still had to wear their uniform. He pinned a Bouncing Souls button to his collar and tied a string of green tinsel around one arm just to jazz it up a bit, and spiked the short bits of his hair at the back, leaving the top and sides straight and brushed down. He looked pretty strange and he knew it. Yet again, he didn't care.
A short shift of five hours, and he'd be free to go home and maybe make one of those chestnut and mushroom pies his mom had been forever trying to get him to learn. Or maybe just eat a lot of chocolate. Maybe he'd call Mikey and see if he could talk to Gerard, wish him a Merry Christmas.
Work wasn't too disastrous. Pete made a brief appearance, coincidentally lasting as long as Greta's. Before they were both gone, he'd gone around and done his usual meeting of all the patients to shake hands or exchange hugs and see how they were. Dinner wasn't served until six, so Frank wouldn't be there for that, but he ate some of the snacks lying around and played Twister with Brendon and a couple of the kids. Bob couldn't hide his smirk when he asked how Frank's evening had been.
That was when Frank realized. "You knew, didn't you? You knew he was coming over."
"Of course, that's why I rearranged your hours with Ryan. Who do you think I was talking to when you were getting ready to leave?" Bob punched Frank playfully in the shoulder, muttering something about being glad to help a friend, before rushing off to deal with some kid who'd thrown up after too much candy and soda, eager to get him better before the kid's mom turned up.
When his shift was over, Frank said a cheery goodbye to all the staff he could find and the patients who weren't conked out on a sugar rush or too busy pinning the tail on a donkey Ryan had drawn on a wall, gathered his things and went out to catch his bus home. Outside waiting, standing with arms crossed over his chest and leaning on his car, was Mikey. Frank couldn't speak for a second, not sure why he was there, but pretty glad to see him anyway. They did a weird handshake-grab-one-armed-hug thing, and Frank said, "Hey. Wasn't expecting to see you here. Everything okay?"
"Not really, get in," he gestured to the passenger door and Frank climbed in quickly, already with his seatbelt on by the time Mikey opened his own door. He looked at Frank questioningly when Frank made gestures with his hands like 'come on, hurry up'. "Oh, no, it's not Gerard. He's fine." Frank breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed into the seat, asking what was wrong then. "My mom," Mikey said as he pulled out of the hospital parking lot, "is having a bitch fit because she hasn't met you, and apparently wants to feed and house and adopt you or some shit for looking after Gerard." Frank laughed and Mikey glanced at him as he drove. "I didn't have the heart to tell her it's probably not a good idea to adopt someone your kid is... you know. Gerard likes you. Whatever. And you have parents anyway, right?"
"Yeah. Yeah I do," Frank said still laughing slightly.
"Good, make sure you tell her that. A lot. She thinks the sun shines out of your ass right now." When Mikey stopped at some lights, he turned to Frank. "I don't know if you wanna go home first and change or something. Nobody's gonna care, they know you just came from work. Up to you." Frank mulled it over for a second but Mikey couldn't wait as the lights were changing, and it was kind of a Frank's or Mikey's place, type of crossroad. Mikey hated doubling back on himself when he was driving, so he made the decision himself. "Just come back to ours. I'm pretty sure my brother likes your uniform anyway. I know my mom will," he smirked. And it was an ever so slightly 'I'm an evil genius' smirk, Frank noticed. He also blushed at the comment about his uniform.
It wasn't until then that Frank realized he didn't even know why he was going over there. "Why am I going to your place? You didn't tell me."
"Uh, it's Christmas? My mom wants you for dinner. Well, not you, obviously, just for you to eat it with us. Don't worry, she's mostly harmless."
"Mostly? What's that supposed to mean?"
Mikey waved the comment away, “Just steer clear of things like 'I really like sticking my tongue down your son's throat' and you'll be fine."
"Hey!" Frank tried to argue but gave up at Mikey's knowing look as they pulled into a driveway. It looked like a regular enough house, red brick walls and white shuttered windows. Mikey stopped in front of the garage and waited as Frank stepped out and followed him slowly down the little passage between the house and garage. He pointed to some stairs leading down, saying it was an external entrance to the basement, before stepping up a couple of steps to put a key into the white door in front of them.
In seconds, a blonde, almost platinum--haired woman with long red painted nails, who very nearly made Frank run from the house, rushed over and kissed Mikey's cheek and whispered something into his ear. Mikey disappeared, leaving Frank on his own with her. "You must be Frank," she said, not bothering with a polite handshake in favor of just grabbing Frank by his shoulders and squeezing the life out of him. "I'm Donna," she said, letting him go.
"Frank, yeah," he breathed out. "Nice to meet you."
"You alright, hun?" she touched his forehead briefly. "You look a little flushed."
"He's fine, ma," Gerard said, appearing from nowhere much to Frank's relief. "You are, aren't you?" he whispered to Frank as they shared a quick hug. Frank nodded and brushed his lips to Gerard's ear as his mother turned away, leading them into the kitchen.
Once there, she handed them both a Coke and told Gerard to take Frank down to his room while she finished up with dinner. "My dad's in there," Gerard pointed to what Frank assumed was the living room from what he could see as Gerard grabbed his arm and practically pulled him down the stairs. Once through the door, it was pretty dark and it took a minute for Frank's eyes to adjust to the small stream of light coming from the one and only window.
There wasn't too much he could make out as Gerard sat on the single bed, holding a hand out to Frank as an invitation to sit with him. He smiled at the starship-covered comforter as he perched himself on the edge, snaking his arm around Gerard's shoulders and kissing his temple. "I wasn't expecting to see you today. Nice surprise."
"You sure? Once my mom thought of it, she wouldn't shut up until Mikey went out to meet you." Quickly he added, "Not that I didn't want to see you."
"Hey, wow," Frank looked around, his eyes having adjusted slightly and spotting things of interest all around. "You got Atomic Robot Man? Does he wind up?"
"Yeah," Gerard chuckled. "He does."
"What's this?" he pointed up to a white board with a black dry-marker sitting on the bottom ledge, a few drawings on it. "I recognize those, but... a monkey?"
"Oh, that's uh, that's just my Breakfast Monkey thing. Just a cartoon idea I was working on."
"Really? Wow. You're so talented, I can't draw for shit." Frank beamed as he looked over some of the other sketches lying around. His hands glided over the various action figures and skulls littering every surface of Gerard's room with a look not unlike awe. Pointing to the multitude of Star Wars figures, Frank said, "I didn't realize you were such a dork. I like it."
"Shut up, they're mostly Mikey's anyway."
Frank jumped as the door opened and Mikey popped his head through. "Mom said get your asses upstairs for dinner and quit makin' out." Gerard scowled at him and Mikey rolled his eyes. "Whatever, just hurry up. I'm starving and mom said I can't touch anything 'until the guest of honor is seated'."
Frank was dreading the dinner; he hadn't had the chance to talk to Gerard about what was and wasn't alright to say about his hospital stay. Though he gathered from what Mikey had said, that their parents didn't know anything about his and Gerard's 'relationship'.
Their father was sat at the table, and Gerard sat Frank next to himself as he introduced the pair. Frank took an instant liking to Don. He reminded Frank of his own father, straightforward and friendly enough. He was also relieved to realize they were at least vegetarian, because in all honesty he probably would've eaten a turkey if it would stop Donna from thanking him profusely every few seconds. Luckily for him, they seemed more interested in finding out about Frank's life history than how close he and Gerard were.
"C'mon, ma, let him eat, will you? You sound like the FBI with all your questions."
"I'm interested in the young man who's been so good to my son. Eat your dinner and let me talk to him."
"It's alright, really. I don't mind," Frank was lying, but he smiled pleasantly for the sake of all concerned. He didn't really like talking about himself so much but if she just wanted a few anecdotes, Frank was going to oblige. Gerard just sat pushing his food around on his plate and occasionally taking a bite or two.
"So, Frank, you have a lot of tattoos. What's that on your knuckles?"
Tattoos. Frank was fine with that line of questioning. He could talk about them all day. Clenching his hands into fists so that she could see, he said, "Says Halloween. It's my birthday." Gerard looked up at the new piece of information, knocking his knee against Frank's with a smile.
"Oh well, that's interesting. So that's why you have a scorpion on your neck? Your star sign," she noted.
"Yeah. I have a Jack O'Lantern too, on my back. First one I got."
"Really?"
"Mom!" Mikey said warningly. A glare directed at him from his mother promptly shut him up.
.........
"What was Mikey's problem?" Frank asked later, after a fruit pudding and a beer at Don's insistence.
"She was gonna ask to see the pumpkin tattoo. She likes tattoos."
"Oh," Frank laughed. "I see... Y'know, I should probably get going soon. I don't wanna outstay my welcome."
"You couldn't possibly; my mom wants you to move in. I can tell. Is it alright if I leave you here a minute? Just gotta do something."
"Yeah, of course." With a kiss to Frank's cheek Gerard left the room, leaving Frank to look around. He lay back on the bed, eyes wandering around at all Gerard's weird and wonderful things. Then, startled by a knock on the window behind and above him, Frank looked towards it.
"FYI, if you're waiting there for Gerard, he probably wants you naked when he gets back," Mikey shouted through the closed window and laughed. Then he walked off and Frank saw Gerard run up the stairs after him. A few seconds later he ran back down, and before Frank had the chance to think about what Mikey had said, was back in the room.
He'd obviously heard what Mikey said. "Ignore him, he's a dick sometimes." Frank just shrugged and waved his hand around. "Would it be okay...? Would you mind, I mean, if I came back with you tonight?"
"Um wha-what? I--"
"No, no. It's alright. Sorry, being stupid," Gerard rushed to say.
"No, I mean yeah. It's cool. Just threw me. Of course it's okay. But uh, won't your parents think it's a bit weird? 'Cause they don't know, I mean."
Gerard picked up a small bag from under his bed and chucked a few things into it. "No, I told her you live on your own and I was gonna keep you company, watch movies and shit. She's probably too ecstatic I won't be in here the whole evening to even think about it that much." The last thing Gerard did before they left was to grab his sketch pad from one of many black and white striped storage boxes behind the head of his bed.
..................
After Mikey dropped them off, Frank took Gerard upstairs to put his bag down. He stopped on the landing. "I don't want you to think I'm being presumptuous, so," he pointed, “this is my room, and that's the spare room." Gerard went for Frank's room and dropped his bag inside the door. Frank smiled.
"Frank, it kinda smells like death in here," Gerard announced, screwing his nose up.
"Oh, sorry. It's Leatherface, he's getting a bit stinky."
"Leatherface?" Gerard watched as Frank crossed the room, pointing to his poor ex-pumpkin. "Oh dear. Yeah, he looks a bit past it." Gerard took a closer look, reaching down, and when he withdrew his hand, Frank jumped and bolted for the other side of the room. "What?" Gerard asked, bringing his hand up to his face to study the creature he'd picked up.
"S-spiders. I hate spiders. Hate them. C-can you get rid of it? Super fast." Looking at Frank plastered to the far wall, Gerard shrugged and held his hand out of the window, flinging it off. "And would you, y'know, wash your hand or something 'cause..."
Gerard laughed, "Spider cooties?" Frank nodded. "Okay. No problem. You might wanna get rid of that though, probably got a nest in there or something."
"What?! Are you? No, no." Frank shook his head, stepping closer as Gerard left the room. He stayed a few feet away until Gerard came back.
"I was kidding about the nest. Sorry. Look," he waved his hand around, "all clean. I'll help you throw it out if you want?" Gerard poked it a couple of times to see if anything else would come out but nothing did. So together they got a bag and Frank held it while Gerard pushed the pumpkin in with a thud as Frank dropped it to the floor. He quickly ran it downstairs and threw it into the trash. On the way back up, he remembered Gerard's Iron Maiden shirt still being in his bed and hoped he hadn't seen it there.
No such luck. When he entered Gerard was sitting on the edge of his bed and holding the shirt in his hands. "You slept with my shirt. That's kinda dorky." he commented.
"I'll take dorky so long as creepy isn't thrown on the end," Frank shrugged as he walked over.
"No. Creepy would be if you'd snuck into my room and taken it." When Frank had gotten to him, Gerard reached up and pulled him down by his overcoat. "You're just cute."
Frank could feel himself blush as Gerard lay back and pulled Frank over him, bringing their mouths together and pulling away just as quick, crooked smile fixed in place. "I brought something for you."
"Oh?" Frank said, settling himself on his elbows and knees above Gerard.
"Yeah. I don't know, you can call it a Christmas present. Or just a present. Whatever. It's in my bag. Would you bring it over?"
Frank nodded, tearing himself away from Gerard's body and picking up the bag. "Oooh, is it what you've been drawing?" Gerard gave him a 'wait and see look' as he opened it up and pulled out the pad. Flicking to a specific page, he handed it to Frank who'd lain himself on his side next to him. Frank took it and saw Gerard biting a nail as he looked down. "Holy shit, Gerard. You did this?"
"I don't usually draw like that, not my style," he said as if he felt the need to defend his work. "But it was the only way I could get it right."
Frank stared down at the unbelievably life-like sketch of his own head and shoulders. "You got my freckles and piercings and everything... wow. I can't believe you did this. That's why you were looking at me like that when I came in out of my uniform. I love it, thank you so much." Frank placed the pad to his side and trailed a hand over Gerard's arm.
Gerard blushed. "I'm glad you like it."
“Love it," Frank repeated, lifting Gerard's elbow so that he could snuggle underneath it and into his side, place his mouth to the corner of Gerard's jaw. "What do you wanna do? Wanna watch a movie in here and fall asleep? I could sleep like this real easy."
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, if you want to."
Something about Gerard's tone was off. Compliant, not excited. "If there's something you'd rather do?"
"No, no." He shook his head lightly, pausing. "I was kind of wondering if you'd show me your tattoos? If you don't mind--"
"Oh, no, of course not." Sitting up, Frank pulled off his overcoat and sat facing away from Gerard as he took off his t-shirt too. "That's the Jack O'Lantern. First one I got." He felt Gerard's fingers touch his skin gently, tracing around the edges.
"I like the expression on that. Kinda maniacal." Holding Frank's shoulders, Gerard eased him around so that he could see his arms properly. "You have Black Flag bars! Awesome! And, is that... cool chainsaw." Gerard's features lit up with each new tattoo he looked at, and Frank settled back on his elbows to get more comfortable. "An NJ anchor? That's pretty cool." Then Gerard's expression changed to one of curiosity and wonder as he looked down at Frank's stomach. "Wow. They're really cool," he pointed to the birds in flight. "Kinda..."
"Kinda what?" Frank asked. Gerard had stifled a laugh, but Frank really wasn't sure why.
"Kinda gay? Swallows. Especially where you have them." He didn't hold back the laugh when Frank realized what he meant, and also laughed.
"I never thought of them like that before. Now I feel a whole lot gayer than I already did... I have another tattoo..." Frank pulled his lower lip down, revealing an NJ tattooed there.
"Oh, I like that one too." Frank wasn't quite expecting it when Gerard leant down and licked the inside of his lip, or the way he urged him to lie back with his palm flat on Frank's chest. He gasped as Gerard stuck a leg between his thighs and Gerard looked him in the eyes, quickly looking away. "This is okay, right?"
"Definitely, c'mere," Frank curled his hand behind Gerard's neck and pulled him down. Gerard went willingly, humming lightly into Frank's mouth and grinding against his thigh. Frank could feel his stomach flip and twist, slipping his tongue past his lips to meet Gerard's and draw it back with his into his mouth. Gerard's hands found his hair but Frank was unsure of where to put his own hands, resting them gently on Gerard's hips and lifting his own to grind back.
With an odd sort of growling, whining sound, Gerard pushed himself down more forcefully and ran his hand down Frank's chest, dipping his fingers below the waistband of his work pants. "Frank, I wanna take 'em off," Gerard breathed into his ear, pressing his lips to his jaw. Frank nodded, tugging a little at Gerard's own t-shirt. "You want me to... I don't know. I'm…"
"Come under the covers with me, okay?" Frank pulled his sheets back as Gerard got off of him, getting back onto the bed. If he wanted to make Gerard feel comfortable with him he decided he'd need to make himself a little more vulnerable, give Gerard his trust. So before pulling the covers over himself, Frank unbuckled his pants and took them off, leaving him in his boxers with a rather obvious erection. Gerard stood rooted to his spot next to the bed as Frank bit his lip and waited, breathing shallow while he patted the spot next him.
Gingerly, Gerard toed off his chucks and slid over next to Frank, lifting the blanket up over himself and tugging his top off over his head. Hidden up to his shoulders, Gerard looked down at himself and laughed nervously, "This is stupid, you already saw me half naked."
"It's not stupid," Frank reached over to slowly brush his fingers over Gerard's chest, settling his palm flat between his ribs. "That was work, this is different." He could feel the slight thud of Gerard's heartbeat through his fingertips, kind of fast and strong as Gerard blushed. "Just kiss me. And whatever you do or don't wanna do is fine, okay?" Gerard nodded slowly, turning his head and then his body to kiss Frank, small presses of his parted lips, sighing contently when Frank's arm slid around to his back.
Frank wanted to do more, slide his hand down over Gerard's jean-clad ass and pull him closer, grind their bodies together hard and make Gerard come, but he was going to let Gerard take the lead even if it killed him. And as he felt Gerard squeeze a hand between them and palm over his crotch, he thought it just might. His hips shifted into Gerard's hand, he'd forgotten how good just being cupped and gently squeezed, even through his boxers, could feel. Gerard smiled against his lips, licking over the lip ring Gerard had said he'd love if Frank put back in, and giving it a slight tug. "Gerard--"
"Shhh, I'm not going anywhere this time, remember? And. And I like what it does to you." He did it again, slipping his tongue into Frank's mouth when he let out a growl and bucked his hips.
"C-can I touch you?" Frank asked. If nothing else, he didn't want to be inconsiderate, but he really did want to touch Gerard. His eyes widened like maybe he hadn't even thought that might happen, but let go of Frank momentarily to open his jeans and push them down, wiggling when Frank imagined they were at his knees and eventually kicking them off of his feet.
"There, now we're equal," he winced a bit, and Frank definitely wasn't sure if he should still touch him or not. So Gerard took hold of Frank's hand and moved it from his back to his hip, and slowly further around until their fingers were touching Gerard's boxers and Frank could feel the heat being emitted through the thin material and moved his hand down, Gerard's fingers lingered over his wrist. Hesitantly, Frank felt along to the base of the hard length, palming back up to the waistband of Gerard's boxers when he groaned against Frank's cheek, and reached into his boxers to wrap his hand around Frank's cock. "God, Frank, I wanna get you off," he moaned, arching against Frank.
Pulling the material away from Gerard's warm skin, Frank slid the boxers down and secured his fist around Gerard's cock, thumb slipping through precome, spreading it as he built up a rhythm of twists and tugs. "I don't think that's gonna be too difficult."
They lay there side by side, fists encircled around each other's hard lengths, panting at each other's mouths. Gerard craned his neck back, lips parted as he pushed himself into Frank's hand. Frank took the opportunity to suck on his neck and lick along his collar bone, jerking his hips to the same pace he had on Gerard's cock. "Uhnn... Frank, I'm so. So, fuck--"
"Mmm, good, just. Let it go." Frank shifted his hips closer, he could feel Gerard's hand brushing his where they crossed over each other, and it was just about the hottest thing ever to feel the way Gerard's wrist rubbed against his own, bumping and interrupting every few strokes. As Frank lay his head back down, he only had a few seconds of eye contact before Gerard's eyes were half-lidded and their mouths were crushed together, Gerard's body jerking hard, and as he felt the amazing pull of teeth on and around his lip ring, Frank could also feel his palm grow slippery. Gerard had come, and he was all tongue and hot breath as Frank stroked him through it. The grip on Frank ceased for a brief moment but quickly returned. Gerard squeezed and twisted around the head of Frank's cock, letting Frank invade his mouth and buck hard into his hand. Frank ghosted his fingers over the back of Gerard's hand. Not because he wasn't doing it right but because he wanted to feel the way he moved, make sure it was real. As he felt the hot burning heat build in the pit of his stomach, Frank stole a glance at Gerard as he looked down, watching his hand and biting his lip, and when he looked back up, Frank came, pushing their foreheads together as his eyes closed.
"You're beautiful, Gerard. So fucking beautiful," he panted after, wiping his hand on the bed sheet and bringing it to Gerard's cheek to push back the hair that had fallen there.
Gerard answered, "I'm not," giving Frank a half-smile and cleaning up his own hand. Frank crooked a finger under Gerard's chin, giving him a questioning look. "You know, Frank. You know what happened. I'm not beautiful. Not even sure I should wanna be."
"Just because some lousy scumfuck hurt you, that doesn't mean you can't be beautiful. Doesn't mean you're not. Let me see."
"See what?" Gerard asked, confused.
"You," Frank ran his fingers over the cover surrounding Gerard's shoulders. "And not because you're here and you feel like you have to, but because you trust me. If you do."
"I do. I do trust you," he said quickly. Slowly, Gerard pushed the cover off of his shoulders and down to his waist. He closed his eyes. Frank eyed the spots on Gerard's shoulders that were previously a light yellow. They'd faded noticeably to being barely there at all.
"Lie on your stomach," Frank said softly. "I just wanna check how your back's doing now." Gerard looked at him nervously for a moment but complied, placing his hands underneath his head. Frank trailed his fingers down Gerard's spine, feeling his slight shiver but soothing it with small kisses to each part of his skin he'd touched. The bruising on Gerard's sides was still there, not as dark or angry looking, but still visible. More like greeny-brown speckled patches. He kissed those too, and Gerard let out a small giggle. Ticklish there, Frank noted. But his lower back was not much improved, the base of his spine still carrying a dark purple/brown kind of splodge of a bruise.
"How's it look?" Gerard asked.
"Uh, most of it's much better actually." Frank wanted to lie and tell him his skin looked perfect, but Gerard wasn't stupid. Though, the bits of him without bruises were milky white and smooth and Frank knew he could spend all day looking at them and touching them. "Still, beautiful."
Gerard sighed. "I don't feel it."
When Frank had gotten the messy sheet covered and they'd put their underwear back on, Gerard also getting his shirt back on, Frank got a nice thick blanket to throw over them both and lay close to Gerard, opening his arms for him to cuddle into his side. Which he did. "You will feel it," Frank whispered into Gerard's hair. "You will, I promise."
...................
Sometime during the night Frank had woken up with a start. He wasn't sure why at first, except Gerard wasn't in his arms anymore. He was on the other side of the bed, curled up with his back to Frank, whimpering and mumbling. Frank was reaching for his phone quicker than he could think about it, his free hand hovering over Gerard, unsure how best to wake him.
"You know what the fucking time is, asshole?" Mikey said in place of 'hello', voice thick with sleep.
"Does your brother have nightmares?"
Frank could hear Mikey sigh. "Fuck, he's doing that again? He used to, long time ago. Last night he... He hasn't been sleeping properly."
"I don't know if I should wake him up. What do you normally do to help him? I can't just," Frank touched Gerard's arm. "God, Mikey, he's so cold."
"Rub his back. And his hair. Real soft, like you would with a cat or something. Calms him down." Frank pushed the phone between his neck and shoulder leaning on one elbow to have two free hands, and started doing what Mikey had said.
Gerard's breathing settled quickly, and he turned over, wrapping his fingers around Frank's wrist. "I think he's okay," Frank whispered, planting a gentle kiss on Gerard's temple.
"Mikey..." Gerard said quietly, eyes flickering, stuck together with sleep. "Mikey."
"No, babe, Mikey's at home. It's me, Fra--" Frank was cut off by Gerard's hand flying to his face, his legs flailing around.
"No, NO! Leave me alone, please, please don't!"
Gerard was sobbing, and Frank dropped his phone to the floor, Mikey having hung up already anyway from the sound of the tone he could hear. Gerard wasn't really awake, Frank knew that much, but he didn't know what to do apart from shield his face as best he could until Gerard eventually flopped off of the bed. It was silent then, and Frank wondered if maybe Gerard had knocked himself out. So after a few minutes he slowly crept across the bed and peered over the side. What greeted him was Gerard half hidden under the bed, his hands covering his head and he was mumbling and sobbing things Frank couldn't work out. Just about to touch his arm gently, Frank heard banging on his door and leapt off the bed. It had to be Mikey. Mikey would know what to do.
"What did you do to him?!" Mikey shouted as he bolted up the stairs, having pushed past Frank as soon as the door was open a crack. He'd obviously jumped straight out of bed and into the car, still wearing pajamas.
"Nothing! I didn't..." Frank gave up, following Mikey and pointing to the room where he'd left Gerard. He stood in the doorway and watched as Mikey coaxed Gerard off of the floor and got him in his arms with whispered words and kisses into his hair. Mikey rubbed small circles into Gerard's back, got him to crawl up onto the bed and lie down. As Frank decided he needed coffee, the last thing he saw upon leaving the room was Gerard curled up against Mikey's side, fingers gripping his younger brother's hand.
Frank sat at the table sipping his coffee. He left the machine on the warm-up setting so he wouldn't have to restart it for his next cup. As he ran a hand through his hair, he wondered what he could've done to help Gerard, if anything. It was obvious that beneath their petty squabbling, he and Mikey were actually pretty close.
"I'm sorry," Mikey said, breaking the quiet of the kitchen and taking a mug from the side to make himself a coffee too. "I know you didn't do anything. I just... Worried about him, y'know?" Frank just nodded as Mikey sat opposite him. "Sometimes it feels like I'm the older one. I thought he was doing better until..." Mikey paused, pushing his glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose. "He was on anti-depressants, came off them a little while before he was missing and we thought he'd. Well, it's not hard to jump to conclusions. And then we got him back, thanks to you, and I thought maybe he was alright after all. But when he told me... Says he hasn't slept a whole night on his own since. I thought he'd be okay here with you. I should've told you."
"It's nobody's fault. You didn't know he'd. I don't know...forget where he was?"
"I've tried talking to him about it, but he doesn't seem to remember in the morning. As vivid as his nightmares must be at the time, he's so deep asleep he just doesn't know what happened the next day. I thought he'd gotten out of them but, I guess the ‘you know what’ just brought a whole new set of terrors."
"You wanna take him home with you? Maybe he'd prefer that?" Frank was kind of worried about Gerard going nuts at him again--asleep or not--he'd gotten used to the way he looked and was keen to keep his face intact.
"No," Mikey shook his head. "If I know Gerard, and I do, he'll feel awful enough about this without the added knowledge that he left in the middle of the night." Putting his mug in the basin, Mikey patted Frank's shoulder. "I'll let myself out. He should be fine for the rest of the night now. And, Frank? Thanks for calling me."
...............
When Frank finally crept back upstairs, he stood outside the two bedrooms wondering if he should get back in with Gerard. He settled against that idea in the end, putting sheets on the spare bed and lying there staring at the ceiling instead. He'd left the door open in case Gerard called out or something, and tried to get some sleep.
A little while later he was just dozing off when he heard Gerard's quiet voice. "Frank?" He padded further into the room, leaning over the bed and peering down at Frank. "Frank, I'm sorry. I did it again, didn't I?"
Frank looked up. Gerard looked sorry and upset and he was frowning, little creases on his forehead only partially covered by his hair. "Nightmares, Gerard. It's not your fault. Mikey said--"
"You talked to Mikey?"
Frank shook his head, "Doesn't matter. I'll tell you in the morning if you want." Frank lifted the cover and moved over. "You wanna get in?"
Gerard didn't waste any time, Frank wasn't the only one who could see the dawn's light filtering through the curtains. Morning was going to come all too soon.
"If I? Could you?" Gerard turned away, looking back over his shoulder at Frank. "Come closer?"
"Oh." Frank wasn't sure it was a good idea to be spooned up behind Gerard after what happened to him, but Gerard was asking him to, so he just went with it, still asking, "You sure?" before Gerard pulled Frank's arm around his chest and pushed his body tight against Frank's. A silent sign of trust. Frank kissed the nape of his neck as Gerard hugged his arm, and hoped they'd both sleep well for what was left of the night.
....................
When Frank woke up, he was glad to hear Gerard's deep-sleep breathing. It would've been embarrassing and potentially scary maybe for Gerard to wake up with Frank's morning wood pressing up against his ass. Frank grimaced as he tried to tear his bottom half slowly away, and put a pillow between them before Gerard had the chance to move back. He did start to stir though, so Frank quickly slipped his arm back around Gerard's chest and he stilled instantly after threading their fingers together. Frank watched him sleep, yawning as he leant up on his free arm to look over at the peaceful expression on Gerard's face.
Suddenly his eyes flicked open and he smiled, "Hey. How long have you been awake?"
"Don't know," Frank shrugged. "little while?" He brushed through Gerard's hair, "Feeling alright this morning?"
"Mmm, really good." He turned over to face Frank, still smiling. "You're comfortable to sleep next--what's that?" he looked down between them.
"Oh, uh," Frank blushed. "You're... kinda boney?" Gerard shot him a 'you're bullshitting me' look. "Fine, fine. I had, um, morning problems..." he mumbled. He waited for Gerard to laugh at him or something.
Instead, he kissed Frank's cheek. "Ah, okay. That was... considerate of you?" Gerard smirked.
"I just didn't want you to think I, I don't know."
"It's fine, I am a guy, remember? S'not like I don't know... What were you gonna tell me before? You left me last night... and what does Mikey have to do with it?" Frank was hoping Gerard wouldn't remember him saying that. He sat up, pulling the pillow into his lap, ready to speak. Before he could, Gerard followed him up and cupped his cheek gently as he frowned. "What happened to your jaw?"
Touching the spot below Gerard's fingers, he realized how he got what felt like a small bruise. He took a deep breath and held onto Gerard's hand where it'd rested against his skin. "Last night... you. When you were upset, bad dream. I didn't know if I should wake you so I called your brother and, he said--"
"Shit," Gerard moved his hand. "I did that. I'm so sorry."
"Its okay, you didn't mean to. I know that." Frank explained what had happened as Gerard sat in silence, wringing his hands in his lap. "Can you remember what it was about? Mikey said you usually don't."
"I remember, Frank. I always remember."
Frank wiped a tear from Gerard's cheek and pushed his hair out of his eyes. "You wanna talk about it? You don't have to."
"It's been the same since the night it happened. Since the first time I slept in the hospital. I tried not to sleep much because I didn't want anyone to know. But when I got home, I couldn't stay awake so much anymore but it was okay because Mikey was there, but I couldn't..." Gerard hid his head in his hands and Frank knew he was crying from the way his body shook gently, even though he made no noise except for small sniffles every few seconds. He rubbed both hands over Gerard's back and shoulders, not telling him everything would be okay because honestly, he didn't know that. "Always the same faceless guy. Always the same soggy cardboard boxes he pushes my face into. Always..." Frank draped his body over Gerard's, a small kiss above his ear, holding him tight as the crying worsened. "Always the same pain, same voice. But I can never really hear the words. Like, it's not me. I can hear my voice, crying for him to stop, pleading. I won't tell anyone. The only thing I ever hear him say is that when he's done, I won't be able to." Gerard sat up quickly, wiping his face and almost knocking Frank's head with his own. "You can't, please. I mean, don't tell Mikey--I. We've always shared everything but, I can't. I can't talk to him about this. That's why I said I couldn't remember."
"Hey, if you don't want me to, I won't. But he knows what happened; you know he'll understand, right?"
"No. No, I don't want him to understand. He always understands and he's done enough for me, too much, more than a little brother should have to. Please?"
Frank put his arms around Gerard as he sat against his chest, face damp against his skin. "I won't. I promise. Will you do something for me though?" Gerard nodded, playing with the pillow corner. "I think you should, maybe. Will you think about going to counseling? There's a--"
"Frank!"
"Please? Just hear me out. Maybe it'll help with your sleeping." Gerard closed his eyes and settled back against Frank's chest. "There's a guy at the hospital, two days a week. Name's Travis. He might not seem like the most likely candidate for a counselor, but he's really good. Just see him once, and if you don't wanna go back, I won't bring it up ever again."
Gerard sat up and smiled. "You won't bring it up ever again?"
"No, not ever."
"No," Gerard shook his head, still smiling, "I mean, not ever, like, you're planning on hanging around, with me?"
Frank just laughed. "I'm not a one-night-hand job kinda guy. Besides, I think your brother might be harboring homicidal tendencies I'd rather not be victim to."
...............
Frank had to let Gerard go back home when Mikey came to pick him up. He didn't want to, but he had to go to work anyway. Before he left though, Frank made sure to promise Gerard that he wouldn't tell Mikey about what he remembered, and got Gerard to agree to at least try a session with Travis. He just had to get Travis to agree to do it for free.
...............
Two days later, Travis was in for work, and Frank managed to catch him on his own way in. "Hey, uh, Trav? You got a minute?"
"Always for you, dude, 'sup?" Frank smiled and they did their usual high-five-back-slapping routine. He was glad Travis hadn't added the 'little' that he usually did between 'you' and 'dude'.
"Got a favor to ask," Frank said as Travis leaned up against the outside brick of the hospital, pulling a cigarette from behind his ear. "I have this friend...he kinda. I think he could really benefit from having some sessions with you."
"So?" Travis shrugged but not unkindly. Just, not getting it. "Have Greta book him in. That's how it usually works, Frank."
"Yeah. Yeah, I know, it's just. I was hoping you might do it off the books... That's where the favor part comes in."
"Frank..."
"Come on, it's not like you work here seven days a week and it'd be hard to fit in or anything. Please?" Frank tried to pout, but Travis had never been affected by it before, so he started tugging at his sleeve like a kid instead. "Please. He needs it--"
"Alright, alright. I'll do it okay? Get off, man," Travis tried to wriggle his arm free. "But if it's some kid who needs help dealing with the fact their favorite pet died, I'll gonna kill you. Slowly. I'm not wastin' my free time on that again."
"He's not, I promise. Thanks, Travie."
"Get Greta to book him in whenever," Travis called over his shoulder as he left.
The next time Travis was free was two weeks into the New Year, which Frank thought was good timing, fresh start and all. He managed to get a few hours here and there with Gerard, but it was difficult once Gerard went back to work at the comic store. He worked days and Frank mostly worked nights so they completely clashed. When he could, Frank would leave early for work so that he could stop by the store, and by way of thanks for Frank's part in the reappearance of his favorite and only artist, Brian would let Gerard take a half hour break so they could spend some time together. Frank promising Brian a 'friends only discount' at the tattoo parlour he used (he was pretty tight with the owner of the parlour), didn't hurt either.
It was nice to catch up and see how the other was doing, and Frank found out that Gerard had agreed, before the incident, to do a kind of artist workshop day once a month, where he'd spend half the day sitting in the store front window and just sketch in view of passers-by, and the other half showing whoever had come in how to do various kinds of art. Gerard said he wasn't quite up to doing that just yet though. He'd never really liked being on display like that in the first place anyway.
For two weeks, the only time they got to see each other outside of the store was when Gerard came to the hospital for his appointment with Travis. Frank had seen him sitting in the small waiting room, rubbing his hands together nervously, one foot tapping on the floor. He wanted to say hi and give him a reassuring hug but he had work to do, and he was pretty sure he had run Bob's goodwill into the ground recently.
He did see him afterwards though, standing at the desk and talking to Bob. Frank finished getting a cup of water from the pump to give to a patient waiting to take her medication, and his face fell as he saw Gerard walking over to him with his head down, and Bob gesturing for them to go outside. Gerard didn't say anything, just let Frank take his arm and lead him out. They sat on the chair-swing and Gerard let his feet drag on the floor as it moved slowly back and forth. He moved into Frank's side, and Frank draped his arm over his shoulders, laying his head against Gerard's. "You okay?"
There was a short intake of breath, and Frank thought at first that Gerard was getting ready to talk. Instead, he started to cry in small bursts, fingers clutching Frank's arm. Frank started to say how Gerard didn't have to go back if he didn't want to, that he was sorry for mentioning it. "No, don't be sorry," Gerard hiccupped.
"But you're crying," Frank said sadly, and like it wasn't obvious.
Slowly, Gerard lifted his head. His eyes were red and puffy and Frank knew it wasn't the first time he'd cried that day. "I made four more appointments. I just needed you to… I needed a hug." On the inside, Frank smiled wildly, realizing it was a big step Gerard was taking. Putting both arms around Gerard, he wrapped him up tight and rocked them both gently on the swing until Bob had to come and ask for his nurse back.
...............
Gerard never talked about his sessions with Travis, and Frank never asked about them. He figured if Gerard wanted to tell him what was said then he would, simple as that. Each of the following two times he went, Frank just took him outside for a while and they smoked on the chair-swing, chatting about the new comics Brian had gotten in or whatever Gerard had been drawing recently. They'd share a chaste kiss when nobody was around and a bit more of a makeout when Frank stopped by the store, until one time Brian shouted through the backroom curtain for Frank to stop molesting his artist. Gerard had to hold Frank's wrists to stop him jumping up and flat out punching his boss. "It's okay," Gerard had whispered into Frank's neck, "he doesn't know. It's okay." Even so, Frank could feel the tear drip down under his shirt and had to grit his teeth and chant in his head that Gerard was right.
Protective. That was Frank a million times over. The only time it slightly eased up was on the very rare (two, by that time) occasions they went to Gerard's house. Donna would insist on feeding Frank. Ever since she found out he was vegan, she'd made him her guinea pig for attempts at cooking vegan foods and pastries. He'd lost count of the number of pies and muffins she'd made him eat--she couldn't believe the amount of stuff Frank couldn't have--and Gerard always seemed to loosen up at the way she treated Frank. With the exception of his own place, it was Frank's favorite place to be with Gerard.
It was even fun to watch the two brothers fight like ten year olds over action figures and who won what battle to take over the universe. Sometimes, Frank was called on to settle the dispute, and then Gerard would groan because Frank always took Mikey's side, saying it'd be unfair otherwise, but then, Frank would put his arms around Gerard and tell him that if his heart was a game, Gerard would win every time. That's when Mikey would make the 'I'm gonna throw up' gesture and leave them alone.
"I think," Gerard said one day as he waited with Frank for his bus for work to arrive, in the freezing cold evening that was mid-February, "that I should tell my parents."
"Tell them what?"
Gerard stood closer to Frank and slid his arm through to space that formed when Frank stuck his hands in his pockets. "About us. What do you think?"
Frank smiled and said, "Yeah. Yeah, if you want," pulling his arm in closer, and Gerard's along with it. "You want that?"
"I really, really do," Gerard smiled, dipping his head onto Frank's shoulder as the bus pulled up. "Besides, once they know, my mom can stop listening at my door when we're alone." Frank made a face that said 'really?' and Gerard explained, "Mikey caught her with her ear pressed up to the door."
"You need to come to my place. Soon," Frank called as he climbed onto the bus. Once in his seat, he blew Gerard a kiss, leaving his hand pressed against the glass as Gerard returned it.
Soon, Frank decided, was two weeks later. It was one day after he was almost squeezed to death by Gerard and Mikey's mom after Gerard announced while they were both present, that they were indeed together, and the same day as Gerard's last session with Travis. As far as he knew, anyway. Gerard had gone during his lunch-break, an extended one of course, and when 5.30pm rolled around and Gerard came out from the backroom, Frank was by the counter talking to Brian.
"What are you doing here?" Gerard asked with a shocked smile as he picked up his art bag.
"Oh, nothing. Just came by to pick up an issue of Hellboy I was missing..." He waved the comic around as Brian laughed to himself. "Asked Brian to find one for me."
"Hey! That's the issue I. You don't collect Hellboy!" Gerard said, accepting the comic into his hands and studying it closely.
"Oh, yeah. Silly me, I forgot. It's you that collects it. Well then, I guess this is yours."
Gerard held one of Frank's hands, not willing to put the comic down for even a second yet. He swung their arms between them. "Thank you. You want me to wait with you for your bus? You're gonna be late for work."
"You not notice I'm not exactly dressed for work? Come on, I'll explain on our way back to my place."
Frank, it turned out, had booked a few days off. "It's been too long since we had any time alone so I thought I'd steal you for the night. That okay?" The grin that spread across Gerard's face told him he didn't even need to ask.
"I should call Mikey though," Gerard said around a mouthful of the coffee and donut holes they'd stopped to pick up. "So he doesn't worry. He worries too much."
Frank just smiled, "All taken care of, babe," and wiped the sugar from Gerard's chin with his thumb. Gerard raised his eyebrows questioningly.
When they finally reached Frank's house, after also stopping to rent a bunch of DVDs they'd never be able to watch in one night, and to get some popcorn, Frank said, "I got Mikey to drop off some of your stuff earlier, it's in my room."
"Thought of everything, huh? You know you're the best boyfriend, right?"
Taking Gerard's jacket and scarf without answering, Frank asked, straight-faced, "Can I see your back?"
Gerard laughed, not taking him seriously at all. "You wouldn't rather see my front?" But he turned around when Frank's expression didn't change. Frank lifted Gerard's shirt and looked over his back and sides before turning him back around. "What was that for?"
"So I knew it wouldn't hurt," he urged Gerard back against the wall and pressed him there, "when I did this." He kissed Gerard slowly, snaking an arm behind Gerard's back, palm flat over his spine to hold him close even though there was no space between them anyway.
Gerard breathed heavily into Frank's mouth, tangling both hands in his hair and pushing a thigh between Frank's legs, rocking against him. "I missed you," he said, withdrawing his tongue from Frank's. "Missed being so close to you."
Frank nodded solemnly, "Me too." He stepped back slightly, threading their fingers together and pulling both pairs of hands up to his mouth and kissing the backs of Gerard's. "How'd it go today? With Travis."
It'd obviously caught him a little off-guard. "Uh, it was okay. Good, even. I. I'm doing better, I think. Travis said I was, at least. I'd like to think he's right. I haven't had... I've been sleeping a bit better." Gerard placed a slight open-mouthed kiss to the place he'd knocked Frank on his jaw weeks before. "It's all down to you, you know? You're like, my superhero.
"Can I just be your boyfriend? I like the title better," Frank brushed their cheeks together and brought his arms up around Gerard's neck. "I'm glad though. That you're sleeping better."
................
Somehow, halfway through the second DVD, they ended up on the floor. Truthfully, it was because Frank had pulled Gerard down on top of him when he fell off of the couch while trying to reach for the remote. Whoever said lying right on the edge of a couch didn't have its benefits was lying. There were blood and guts being shed two feet away from them but all they noticed was each other. All they tasted was each other; the salted popcorn and Red Bull they'd shared mixing with the smokey tang of cigarettes. And it should've been gross but they were alone, absolutely alone, and Gerard could've been sucking on a chicken wing all night and Frank wouldn't have cared. Too much.
Really, Frank had mostly been paying attention to the movie, but it was evident Gerard's thoughts had been elsewhere when Frank felt the hard outline of his cock pressing against him as Gerard shifted and dragged himself up Frank's body to put a leg either side of his hips. It didn't take Frank long to follow suit, propping himself up to lick at Gerard's bottom lip and nuzzle their noses together while his hips pushed up. Soon enough, they were dry-humping the life out of each other, grinding and groaning, and if there was a makeout competition, they'd have won it, hands down.
The rug underneath them was pretty worn, and as Gerard hastily pulled Frank's shirt over his head, he had a feeling he'd have some pretty awesome rug-burn in the morning. His head thumped down and Gerard started licking at his neck and gently nipping at the join of his neck and shoulder. Frank's hands wandered up the back of Gerard's t-shirt, smoothing over his skin as his head tilted to the side. He brought one hand between them, palming Gerard and pushing his wrist down onto his own erection to get some more friction, as he tried to unbutton Gerard's jeans with one hand. It took him a minute, especially with the way Gerard looked at him as he did it; all parted lips and half lidded eyes, and breathing hard.
"Frank," he moaned as Frank squeezed his hand awkwardly inside and curled his palm around him, the tips of his fingers massaging the base of his cock. Frank bit his lip. Half because of the pain of Gerard's zipper against the back of his wrist, and half because Gerard had shuffled up, sitting right on his dick. "We should. Could we... move this ups--God--upstairs?"
Frank wasn't sure exactly what this was or what it was going to be, but he definitely wanted to get off of the floor, so he pulled his hand out of Gerard's jeans and Gerard lifted himself off, waiting for Frank to take the lead.
part four
CHAPTER: part 3
PAIRING: Frank/Gerard
RATING:Individually rated. NC-17 for swears and boy touching
SUMMARY: Frank Iero, male nurse at Pete Wentz's private hospital and possibly more to one new patient he can't keep his eyes off of.
DISCLAIMER: Not real, never happened.
WARNING: Standard implied rape warning.
A/N: Beta'd by behindskylines
and sexifulness
part one
part two
Part 3
"So..." Frank started, gently moving Gerard's leg so he had one on either side of him. "How long do I have you for this evening?"
"How long do you want me for?" Gerard asked in reply. What was probably meant to be a seductive half smirk spread across his lips but the tone of his voice gave away something more like longing and a want to feel needed, and it wasn't lost on Frank.
He wanted to say "always,” but it just sounded cheesy and stupid in his head, so he settled on, "The whole night," even though he knew it wasn't going to happen on Christmas Eve of all days. But it made Gerard smile, so Frank figured it was worth it.
Gerard looked at his watch. "Well, you've probably got me for another twenty minutes or so." Frank pouted and Gerard quickly kissed it away so he could continue. "Mikey dropped me off. I told him to go get a coffee or something while he waited. You're lucky I'm here at all, my mom didn't wanna let me out of her sight for even a second but I pointed out I should really give you your clothes back."
Frank shrugged, "I can't say I blame her to be perfectly honest."
"Thanks. But I think you should stop talking and just kiss me now. I missed your lips last night," he admitted softly.
Frank didn't waste any time bringing Gerard's body down against him and threading his hands in his hair. A quiet moan escaped Gerard as Frank slid their tongues together inside the mouth above him, and he realized he'd been right before; Gerard had obviously been drinking the same coffee Frank had been buying for him because he tasted soft and dreamy, like the hazelnut shots and marshmallow cubes, and Frank melted into the sofa, moving down as Gerard followed, laying over him like a blanket Frank never wanted to take off.
Their mouths touched lazily after that, mostly just ghosts of kisses on each other's lips and cute smiles back and forth as Frank hovered his fingers over Gerard's back and sides, still afraid of hurting him. "I can give you a whole night," Gerard said between kisses, "soon," and licks across Frank's parted lips, "I promise."
"I just wanna be close to you, get to know you," Frank whispered. "Slow. Remember?"
"I know, Frank, I know." And as much as Frank wanted Gerard to stay longer, as, "slooow," tumbled from Gerard's throat to his own, he could feel a slight hardness against his thigh and kind of wanted Mikey to get there quickly so that he could get some 'alone time' before his brain decided to backtrack on going slow. But then, it seemed Gerard was the one forgetting it, pressing his hips into Frank and getting harder against him. "Oh, Frank."
Frank held Gerard's hips and pushed his own down into the sofa, whispering, "Hey." Gerard looked at him, blushing, and stilled in Frank's hands, relaxing his body and pushing his face into Frank's neck.
"Sorry. You make me," he stopped to lay a kiss over Frank's tattoo. "Being with you makes me forget myself a little."
"It's not like I mind, just that we're gonna get interrupted any--" And then it sounded, the knock at the door signaling Mikey's return “--second."
With obvious reluctance, Gerard climbed off and handed Frank the paper bag he'd brought that Frank hadn't even noticed sitting on his floor. "Your clothes, my mom washed them. And I'll see you real soon." Gerard headed for his jacket, straightening out his jeans as best he could and folding his jacket over his arm to hide his crotch.
"Oh, hang on. Let me get yours, they're upstairs."
"Keep 'em for me. So you know I'm coming back," he said, hand ready to open the door as Mikey knocked again.
It was vaguely reassuring to Frank to know that something of Gerard's would be with him that night. Even if it did consist of a smelly leather jacket and a paint-stained band shirt. Gerard finally opened the door after one last quick kiss and a gentle hug with Frank, leaving Mikey standing there. "C'mon, slow coach," he called, waiting at the car.
Mikey rolled his eyes and gave Frank a friendly nod before leaning in closer to him. "Gerard told me what happened. Thanks for being there with him when he needed it." Frank waved it away, saying he couldn't not be there once he realized what Gerard had been through.
Once alone again, and after another relatively fast foray into his pants (he hoped that when the time eventually hopefully came things wouldn't be over quite so quickly with Gerard), Frank tucked into some of the nut roast his mom had dropped by at some point, before heading back to bed. He wasn't in it long before he jumped out and found Gerard's Iron Maiden shirt, bringing it back into bed with him to clutch between his fingers. And he was well aware how much of teenager with a crush it made him seem, and in all honesty, it didn't smell too great, but it took some of the pungent pumpkin smell from his nose, so he couldn't bring himself to care.
When Frank woke up on Christmas morning, he felt better and more awake than he had in days. He showered and put his piercings back in. Christmas day was never formal and always fun, so for one day he was allowed to, but everyone still had to wear their uniform. He pinned a Bouncing Souls button to his collar and tied a string of green tinsel around one arm just to jazz it up a bit, and spiked the short bits of his hair at the back, leaving the top and sides straight and brushed down. He looked pretty strange and he knew it. Yet again, he didn't care.
A short shift of five hours, and he'd be free to go home and maybe make one of those chestnut and mushroom pies his mom had been forever trying to get him to learn. Or maybe just eat a lot of chocolate. Maybe he'd call Mikey and see if he could talk to Gerard, wish him a Merry Christmas.
Work wasn't too disastrous. Pete made a brief appearance, coincidentally lasting as long as Greta's. Before they were both gone, he'd gone around and done his usual meeting of all the patients to shake hands or exchange hugs and see how they were. Dinner wasn't served until six, so Frank wouldn't be there for that, but he ate some of the snacks lying around and played Twister with Brendon and a couple of the kids. Bob couldn't hide his smirk when he asked how Frank's evening had been.
That was when Frank realized. "You knew, didn't you? You knew he was coming over."
"Of course, that's why I rearranged your hours with Ryan. Who do you think I was talking to when you were getting ready to leave?" Bob punched Frank playfully in the shoulder, muttering something about being glad to help a friend, before rushing off to deal with some kid who'd thrown up after too much candy and soda, eager to get him better before the kid's mom turned up.
When his shift was over, Frank said a cheery goodbye to all the staff he could find and the patients who weren't conked out on a sugar rush or too busy pinning the tail on a donkey Ryan had drawn on a wall, gathered his things and went out to catch his bus home. Outside waiting, standing with arms crossed over his chest and leaning on his car, was Mikey. Frank couldn't speak for a second, not sure why he was there, but pretty glad to see him anyway. They did a weird handshake-grab-one-armed-hug thing, and Frank said, "Hey. Wasn't expecting to see you here. Everything okay?"
"Not really, get in," he gestured to the passenger door and Frank climbed in quickly, already with his seatbelt on by the time Mikey opened his own door. He looked at Frank questioningly when Frank made gestures with his hands like 'come on, hurry up'. "Oh, no, it's not Gerard. He's fine." Frank breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed into the seat, asking what was wrong then. "My mom," Mikey said as he pulled out of the hospital parking lot, "is having a bitch fit because she hasn't met you, and apparently wants to feed and house and adopt you or some shit for looking after Gerard." Frank laughed and Mikey glanced at him as he drove. "I didn't have the heart to tell her it's probably not a good idea to adopt someone your kid is... you know. Gerard likes you. Whatever. And you have parents anyway, right?"
"Yeah. Yeah I do," Frank said still laughing slightly.
"Good, make sure you tell her that. A lot. She thinks the sun shines out of your ass right now." When Mikey stopped at some lights, he turned to Frank. "I don't know if you wanna go home first and change or something. Nobody's gonna care, they know you just came from work. Up to you." Frank mulled it over for a second but Mikey couldn't wait as the lights were changing, and it was kind of a Frank's or Mikey's place, type of crossroad. Mikey hated doubling back on himself when he was driving, so he made the decision himself. "Just come back to ours. I'm pretty sure my brother likes your uniform anyway. I know my mom will," he smirked. And it was an ever so slightly 'I'm an evil genius' smirk, Frank noticed. He also blushed at the comment about his uniform.
It wasn't until then that Frank realized he didn't even know why he was going over there. "Why am I going to your place? You didn't tell me."
"Uh, it's Christmas? My mom wants you for dinner. Well, not you, obviously, just for you to eat it with us. Don't worry, she's mostly harmless."
"Mostly? What's that supposed to mean?"
Mikey waved the comment away, “Just steer clear of things like 'I really like sticking my tongue down your son's throat' and you'll be fine."
"Hey!" Frank tried to argue but gave up at Mikey's knowing look as they pulled into a driveway. It looked like a regular enough house, red brick walls and white shuttered windows. Mikey stopped in front of the garage and waited as Frank stepped out and followed him slowly down the little passage between the house and garage. He pointed to some stairs leading down, saying it was an external entrance to the basement, before stepping up a couple of steps to put a key into the white door in front of them.
In seconds, a blonde, almost platinum--haired woman with long red painted nails, who very nearly made Frank run from the house, rushed over and kissed Mikey's cheek and whispered something into his ear. Mikey disappeared, leaving Frank on his own with her. "You must be Frank," she said, not bothering with a polite handshake in favor of just grabbing Frank by his shoulders and squeezing the life out of him. "I'm Donna," she said, letting him go.
"Frank, yeah," he breathed out. "Nice to meet you."
"You alright, hun?" she touched his forehead briefly. "You look a little flushed."
"He's fine, ma," Gerard said, appearing from nowhere much to Frank's relief. "You are, aren't you?" he whispered to Frank as they shared a quick hug. Frank nodded and brushed his lips to Gerard's ear as his mother turned away, leading them into the kitchen.
Once there, she handed them both a Coke and told Gerard to take Frank down to his room while she finished up with dinner. "My dad's in there," Gerard pointed to what Frank assumed was the living room from what he could see as Gerard grabbed his arm and practically pulled him down the stairs. Once through the door, it was pretty dark and it took a minute for Frank's eyes to adjust to the small stream of light coming from the one and only window.
There wasn't too much he could make out as Gerard sat on the single bed, holding a hand out to Frank as an invitation to sit with him. He smiled at the starship-covered comforter as he perched himself on the edge, snaking his arm around Gerard's shoulders and kissing his temple. "I wasn't expecting to see you today. Nice surprise."
"You sure? Once my mom thought of it, she wouldn't shut up until Mikey went out to meet you." Quickly he added, "Not that I didn't want to see you."
"Hey, wow," Frank looked around, his eyes having adjusted slightly and spotting things of interest all around. "You got Atomic Robot Man? Does he wind up?"
"Yeah," Gerard chuckled. "He does."
"What's this?" he pointed up to a white board with a black dry-marker sitting on the bottom ledge, a few drawings on it. "I recognize those, but... a monkey?"
"Oh, that's uh, that's just my Breakfast Monkey thing. Just a cartoon idea I was working on."
"Really? Wow. You're so talented, I can't draw for shit." Frank beamed as he looked over some of the other sketches lying around. His hands glided over the various action figures and skulls littering every surface of Gerard's room with a look not unlike awe. Pointing to the multitude of Star Wars figures, Frank said, "I didn't realize you were such a dork. I like it."
"Shut up, they're mostly Mikey's anyway."
Frank jumped as the door opened and Mikey popped his head through. "Mom said get your asses upstairs for dinner and quit makin' out." Gerard scowled at him and Mikey rolled his eyes. "Whatever, just hurry up. I'm starving and mom said I can't touch anything 'until the guest of honor is seated'."
Frank was dreading the dinner; he hadn't had the chance to talk to Gerard about what was and wasn't alright to say about his hospital stay. Though he gathered from what Mikey had said, that their parents didn't know anything about his and Gerard's 'relationship'.
Their father was sat at the table, and Gerard sat Frank next to himself as he introduced the pair. Frank took an instant liking to Don. He reminded Frank of his own father, straightforward and friendly enough. He was also relieved to realize they were at least vegetarian, because in all honesty he probably would've eaten a turkey if it would stop Donna from thanking him profusely every few seconds. Luckily for him, they seemed more interested in finding out about Frank's life history than how close he and Gerard were.
"C'mon, ma, let him eat, will you? You sound like the FBI with all your questions."
"I'm interested in the young man who's been so good to my son. Eat your dinner and let me talk to him."
"It's alright, really. I don't mind," Frank was lying, but he smiled pleasantly for the sake of all concerned. He didn't really like talking about himself so much but if she just wanted a few anecdotes, Frank was going to oblige. Gerard just sat pushing his food around on his plate and occasionally taking a bite or two.
"So, Frank, you have a lot of tattoos. What's that on your knuckles?"
Tattoos. Frank was fine with that line of questioning. He could talk about them all day. Clenching his hands into fists so that she could see, he said, "Says Halloween. It's my birthday." Gerard looked up at the new piece of information, knocking his knee against Frank's with a smile.
"Oh well, that's interesting. So that's why you have a scorpion on your neck? Your star sign," she noted.
"Yeah. I have a Jack O'Lantern too, on my back. First one I got."
"Really?"
"Mom!" Mikey said warningly. A glare directed at him from his mother promptly shut him up.
.........
"What was Mikey's problem?" Frank asked later, after a fruit pudding and a beer at Don's insistence.
"She was gonna ask to see the pumpkin tattoo. She likes tattoos."
"Oh," Frank laughed. "I see... Y'know, I should probably get going soon. I don't wanna outstay my welcome."
"You couldn't possibly; my mom wants you to move in. I can tell. Is it alright if I leave you here a minute? Just gotta do something."
"Yeah, of course." With a kiss to Frank's cheek Gerard left the room, leaving Frank to look around. He lay back on the bed, eyes wandering around at all Gerard's weird and wonderful things. Then, startled by a knock on the window behind and above him, Frank looked towards it.
"FYI, if you're waiting there for Gerard, he probably wants you naked when he gets back," Mikey shouted through the closed window and laughed. Then he walked off and Frank saw Gerard run up the stairs after him. A few seconds later he ran back down, and before Frank had the chance to think about what Mikey had said, was back in the room.
He'd obviously heard what Mikey said. "Ignore him, he's a dick sometimes." Frank just shrugged and waved his hand around. "Would it be okay...? Would you mind, I mean, if I came back with you tonight?"
"Um wha-what? I--"
"No, no. It's alright. Sorry, being stupid," Gerard rushed to say.
"No, I mean yeah. It's cool. Just threw me. Of course it's okay. But uh, won't your parents think it's a bit weird? 'Cause they don't know, I mean."
Gerard picked up a small bag from under his bed and chucked a few things into it. "No, I told her you live on your own and I was gonna keep you company, watch movies and shit. She's probably too ecstatic I won't be in here the whole evening to even think about it that much." The last thing Gerard did before they left was to grab his sketch pad from one of many black and white striped storage boxes behind the head of his bed.
..................
After Mikey dropped them off, Frank took Gerard upstairs to put his bag down. He stopped on the landing. "I don't want you to think I'm being presumptuous, so," he pointed, “this is my room, and that's the spare room." Gerard went for Frank's room and dropped his bag inside the door. Frank smiled.
"Frank, it kinda smells like death in here," Gerard announced, screwing his nose up.
"Oh, sorry. It's Leatherface, he's getting a bit stinky."
"Leatherface?" Gerard watched as Frank crossed the room, pointing to his poor ex-pumpkin. "Oh dear. Yeah, he looks a bit past it." Gerard took a closer look, reaching down, and when he withdrew his hand, Frank jumped and bolted for the other side of the room. "What?" Gerard asked, bringing his hand up to his face to study the creature he'd picked up.
"S-spiders. I hate spiders. Hate them. C-can you get rid of it? Super fast." Looking at Frank plastered to the far wall, Gerard shrugged and held his hand out of the window, flinging it off. "And would you, y'know, wash your hand or something 'cause..."
Gerard laughed, "Spider cooties?" Frank nodded. "Okay. No problem. You might wanna get rid of that though, probably got a nest in there or something."
"What?! Are you? No, no." Frank shook his head, stepping closer as Gerard left the room. He stayed a few feet away until Gerard came back.
"I was kidding about the nest. Sorry. Look," he waved his hand around, "all clean. I'll help you throw it out if you want?" Gerard poked it a couple of times to see if anything else would come out but nothing did. So together they got a bag and Frank held it while Gerard pushed the pumpkin in with a thud as Frank dropped it to the floor. He quickly ran it downstairs and threw it into the trash. On the way back up, he remembered Gerard's Iron Maiden shirt still being in his bed and hoped he hadn't seen it there.
No such luck. When he entered Gerard was sitting on the edge of his bed and holding the shirt in his hands. "You slept with my shirt. That's kinda dorky." he commented.
"I'll take dorky so long as creepy isn't thrown on the end," Frank shrugged as he walked over.
"No. Creepy would be if you'd snuck into my room and taken it." When Frank had gotten to him, Gerard reached up and pulled him down by his overcoat. "You're just cute."
Frank could feel himself blush as Gerard lay back and pulled Frank over him, bringing their mouths together and pulling away just as quick, crooked smile fixed in place. "I brought something for you."
"Oh?" Frank said, settling himself on his elbows and knees above Gerard.
"Yeah. I don't know, you can call it a Christmas present. Or just a present. Whatever. It's in my bag. Would you bring it over?"
Frank nodded, tearing himself away from Gerard's body and picking up the bag. "Oooh, is it what you've been drawing?" Gerard gave him a 'wait and see look' as he opened it up and pulled out the pad. Flicking to a specific page, he handed it to Frank who'd lain himself on his side next to him. Frank took it and saw Gerard biting a nail as he looked down. "Holy shit, Gerard. You did this?"
"I don't usually draw like that, not my style," he said as if he felt the need to defend his work. "But it was the only way I could get it right."
Frank stared down at the unbelievably life-like sketch of his own head and shoulders. "You got my freckles and piercings and everything... wow. I can't believe you did this. That's why you were looking at me like that when I came in out of my uniform. I love it, thank you so much." Frank placed the pad to his side and trailed a hand over Gerard's arm.
Gerard blushed. "I'm glad you like it."
“Love it," Frank repeated, lifting Gerard's elbow so that he could snuggle underneath it and into his side, place his mouth to the corner of Gerard's jaw. "What do you wanna do? Wanna watch a movie in here and fall asleep? I could sleep like this real easy."
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, if you want to."
Something about Gerard's tone was off. Compliant, not excited. "If there's something you'd rather do?"
"No, no." He shook his head lightly, pausing. "I was kind of wondering if you'd show me your tattoos? If you don't mind--"
"Oh, no, of course not." Sitting up, Frank pulled off his overcoat and sat facing away from Gerard as he took off his t-shirt too. "That's the Jack O'Lantern. First one I got." He felt Gerard's fingers touch his skin gently, tracing around the edges.
"I like the expression on that. Kinda maniacal." Holding Frank's shoulders, Gerard eased him around so that he could see his arms properly. "You have Black Flag bars! Awesome! And, is that... cool chainsaw." Gerard's features lit up with each new tattoo he looked at, and Frank settled back on his elbows to get more comfortable. "An NJ anchor? That's pretty cool." Then Gerard's expression changed to one of curiosity and wonder as he looked down at Frank's stomach. "Wow. They're really cool," he pointed to the birds in flight. "Kinda..."
"Kinda what?" Frank asked. Gerard had stifled a laugh, but Frank really wasn't sure why.
"Kinda gay? Swallows. Especially where you have them." He didn't hold back the laugh when Frank realized what he meant, and also laughed.
"I never thought of them like that before. Now I feel a whole lot gayer than I already did... I have another tattoo..." Frank pulled his lower lip down, revealing an NJ tattooed there.
"Oh, I like that one too." Frank wasn't quite expecting it when Gerard leant down and licked the inside of his lip, or the way he urged him to lie back with his palm flat on Frank's chest. He gasped as Gerard stuck a leg between his thighs and Gerard looked him in the eyes, quickly looking away. "This is okay, right?"
"Definitely, c'mere," Frank curled his hand behind Gerard's neck and pulled him down. Gerard went willingly, humming lightly into Frank's mouth and grinding against his thigh. Frank could feel his stomach flip and twist, slipping his tongue past his lips to meet Gerard's and draw it back with his into his mouth. Gerard's hands found his hair but Frank was unsure of where to put his own hands, resting them gently on Gerard's hips and lifting his own to grind back.
With an odd sort of growling, whining sound, Gerard pushed himself down more forcefully and ran his hand down Frank's chest, dipping his fingers below the waistband of his work pants. "Frank, I wanna take 'em off," Gerard breathed into his ear, pressing his lips to his jaw. Frank nodded, tugging a little at Gerard's own t-shirt. "You want me to... I don't know. I'm…"
"Come under the covers with me, okay?" Frank pulled his sheets back as Gerard got off of him, getting back onto the bed. If he wanted to make Gerard feel comfortable with him he decided he'd need to make himself a little more vulnerable, give Gerard his trust. So before pulling the covers over himself, Frank unbuckled his pants and took them off, leaving him in his boxers with a rather obvious erection. Gerard stood rooted to his spot next to the bed as Frank bit his lip and waited, breathing shallow while he patted the spot next him.
Gingerly, Gerard toed off his chucks and slid over next to Frank, lifting the blanket up over himself and tugging his top off over his head. Hidden up to his shoulders, Gerard looked down at himself and laughed nervously, "This is stupid, you already saw me half naked."
"It's not stupid," Frank reached over to slowly brush his fingers over Gerard's chest, settling his palm flat between his ribs. "That was work, this is different." He could feel the slight thud of Gerard's heartbeat through his fingertips, kind of fast and strong as Gerard blushed. "Just kiss me. And whatever you do or don't wanna do is fine, okay?" Gerard nodded slowly, turning his head and then his body to kiss Frank, small presses of his parted lips, sighing contently when Frank's arm slid around to his back.
Frank wanted to do more, slide his hand down over Gerard's jean-clad ass and pull him closer, grind their bodies together hard and make Gerard come, but he was going to let Gerard take the lead even if it killed him. And as he felt Gerard squeeze a hand between them and palm over his crotch, he thought it just might. His hips shifted into Gerard's hand, he'd forgotten how good just being cupped and gently squeezed, even through his boxers, could feel. Gerard smiled against his lips, licking over the lip ring Gerard had said he'd love if Frank put back in, and giving it a slight tug. "Gerard--"
"Shhh, I'm not going anywhere this time, remember? And. And I like what it does to you." He did it again, slipping his tongue into Frank's mouth when he let out a growl and bucked his hips.
"C-can I touch you?" Frank asked. If nothing else, he didn't want to be inconsiderate, but he really did want to touch Gerard. His eyes widened like maybe he hadn't even thought that might happen, but let go of Frank momentarily to open his jeans and push them down, wiggling when Frank imagined they were at his knees and eventually kicking them off of his feet.
"There, now we're equal," he winced a bit, and Frank definitely wasn't sure if he should still touch him or not. So Gerard took hold of Frank's hand and moved it from his back to his hip, and slowly further around until their fingers were touching Gerard's boxers and Frank could feel the heat being emitted through the thin material and moved his hand down, Gerard's fingers lingered over his wrist. Hesitantly, Frank felt along to the base of the hard length, palming back up to the waistband of Gerard's boxers when he groaned against Frank's cheek, and reached into his boxers to wrap his hand around Frank's cock. "God, Frank, I wanna get you off," he moaned, arching against Frank.
Pulling the material away from Gerard's warm skin, Frank slid the boxers down and secured his fist around Gerard's cock, thumb slipping through precome, spreading it as he built up a rhythm of twists and tugs. "I don't think that's gonna be too difficult."
They lay there side by side, fists encircled around each other's hard lengths, panting at each other's mouths. Gerard craned his neck back, lips parted as he pushed himself into Frank's hand. Frank took the opportunity to suck on his neck and lick along his collar bone, jerking his hips to the same pace he had on Gerard's cock. "Uhnn... Frank, I'm so. So, fuck--"
"Mmm, good, just. Let it go." Frank shifted his hips closer, he could feel Gerard's hand brushing his where they crossed over each other, and it was just about the hottest thing ever to feel the way Gerard's wrist rubbed against his own, bumping and interrupting every few strokes. As Frank lay his head back down, he only had a few seconds of eye contact before Gerard's eyes were half-lidded and their mouths were crushed together, Gerard's body jerking hard, and as he felt the amazing pull of teeth on and around his lip ring, Frank could also feel his palm grow slippery. Gerard had come, and he was all tongue and hot breath as Frank stroked him through it. The grip on Frank ceased for a brief moment but quickly returned. Gerard squeezed and twisted around the head of Frank's cock, letting Frank invade his mouth and buck hard into his hand. Frank ghosted his fingers over the back of Gerard's hand. Not because he wasn't doing it right but because he wanted to feel the way he moved, make sure it was real. As he felt the hot burning heat build in the pit of his stomach, Frank stole a glance at Gerard as he looked down, watching his hand and biting his lip, and when he looked back up, Frank came, pushing their foreheads together as his eyes closed.
"You're beautiful, Gerard. So fucking beautiful," he panted after, wiping his hand on the bed sheet and bringing it to Gerard's cheek to push back the hair that had fallen there.
Gerard answered, "I'm not," giving Frank a half-smile and cleaning up his own hand. Frank crooked a finger under Gerard's chin, giving him a questioning look. "You know, Frank. You know what happened. I'm not beautiful. Not even sure I should wanna be."
"Just because some lousy scumfuck hurt you, that doesn't mean you can't be beautiful. Doesn't mean you're not. Let me see."
"See what?" Gerard asked, confused.
"You," Frank ran his fingers over the cover surrounding Gerard's shoulders. "And not because you're here and you feel like you have to, but because you trust me. If you do."
"I do. I do trust you," he said quickly. Slowly, Gerard pushed the cover off of his shoulders and down to his waist. He closed his eyes. Frank eyed the spots on Gerard's shoulders that were previously a light yellow. They'd faded noticeably to being barely there at all.
"Lie on your stomach," Frank said softly. "I just wanna check how your back's doing now." Gerard looked at him nervously for a moment but complied, placing his hands underneath his head. Frank trailed his fingers down Gerard's spine, feeling his slight shiver but soothing it with small kisses to each part of his skin he'd touched. The bruising on Gerard's sides was still there, not as dark or angry looking, but still visible. More like greeny-brown speckled patches. He kissed those too, and Gerard let out a small giggle. Ticklish there, Frank noted. But his lower back was not much improved, the base of his spine still carrying a dark purple/brown kind of splodge of a bruise.
"How's it look?" Gerard asked.
"Uh, most of it's much better actually." Frank wanted to lie and tell him his skin looked perfect, but Gerard wasn't stupid. Though, the bits of him without bruises were milky white and smooth and Frank knew he could spend all day looking at them and touching them. "Still, beautiful."
Gerard sighed. "I don't feel it."
When Frank had gotten the messy sheet covered and they'd put their underwear back on, Gerard also getting his shirt back on, Frank got a nice thick blanket to throw over them both and lay close to Gerard, opening his arms for him to cuddle into his side. Which he did. "You will feel it," Frank whispered into Gerard's hair. "You will, I promise."
...................
Sometime during the night Frank had woken up with a start. He wasn't sure why at first, except Gerard wasn't in his arms anymore. He was on the other side of the bed, curled up with his back to Frank, whimpering and mumbling. Frank was reaching for his phone quicker than he could think about it, his free hand hovering over Gerard, unsure how best to wake him.
"You know what the fucking time is, asshole?" Mikey said in place of 'hello', voice thick with sleep.
"Does your brother have nightmares?"
Frank could hear Mikey sigh. "Fuck, he's doing that again? He used to, long time ago. Last night he... He hasn't been sleeping properly."
"I don't know if I should wake him up. What do you normally do to help him? I can't just," Frank touched Gerard's arm. "God, Mikey, he's so cold."
"Rub his back. And his hair. Real soft, like you would with a cat or something. Calms him down." Frank pushed the phone between his neck and shoulder leaning on one elbow to have two free hands, and started doing what Mikey had said.
Gerard's breathing settled quickly, and he turned over, wrapping his fingers around Frank's wrist. "I think he's okay," Frank whispered, planting a gentle kiss on Gerard's temple.
"Mikey..." Gerard said quietly, eyes flickering, stuck together with sleep. "Mikey."
"No, babe, Mikey's at home. It's me, Fra--" Frank was cut off by Gerard's hand flying to his face, his legs flailing around.
"No, NO! Leave me alone, please, please don't!"
Gerard was sobbing, and Frank dropped his phone to the floor, Mikey having hung up already anyway from the sound of the tone he could hear. Gerard wasn't really awake, Frank knew that much, but he didn't know what to do apart from shield his face as best he could until Gerard eventually flopped off of the bed. It was silent then, and Frank wondered if maybe Gerard had knocked himself out. So after a few minutes he slowly crept across the bed and peered over the side. What greeted him was Gerard half hidden under the bed, his hands covering his head and he was mumbling and sobbing things Frank couldn't work out. Just about to touch his arm gently, Frank heard banging on his door and leapt off the bed. It had to be Mikey. Mikey would know what to do.
"What did you do to him?!" Mikey shouted as he bolted up the stairs, having pushed past Frank as soon as the door was open a crack. He'd obviously jumped straight out of bed and into the car, still wearing pajamas.
"Nothing! I didn't..." Frank gave up, following Mikey and pointing to the room where he'd left Gerard. He stood in the doorway and watched as Mikey coaxed Gerard off of the floor and got him in his arms with whispered words and kisses into his hair. Mikey rubbed small circles into Gerard's back, got him to crawl up onto the bed and lie down. As Frank decided he needed coffee, the last thing he saw upon leaving the room was Gerard curled up against Mikey's side, fingers gripping his younger brother's hand.
Frank sat at the table sipping his coffee. He left the machine on the warm-up setting so he wouldn't have to restart it for his next cup. As he ran a hand through his hair, he wondered what he could've done to help Gerard, if anything. It was obvious that beneath their petty squabbling, he and Mikey were actually pretty close.
"I'm sorry," Mikey said, breaking the quiet of the kitchen and taking a mug from the side to make himself a coffee too. "I know you didn't do anything. I just... Worried about him, y'know?" Frank just nodded as Mikey sat opposite him. "Sometimes it feels like I'm the older one. I thought he was doing better until..." Mikey paused, pushing his glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose. "He was on anti-depressants, came off them a little while before he was missing and we thought he'd. Well, it's not hard to jump to conclusions. And then we got him back, thanks to you, and I thought maybe he was alright after all. But when he told me... Says he hasn't slept a whole night on his own since. I thought he'd be okay here with you. I should've told you."
"It's nobody's fault. You didn't know he'd. I don't know...forget where he was?"
"I've tried talking to him about it, but he doesn't seem to remember in the morning. As vivid as his nightmares must be at the time, he's so deep asleep he just doesn't know what happened the next day. I thought he'd gotten out of them but, I guess the ‘you know what’ just brought a whole new set of terrors."
"You wanna take him home with you? Maybe he'd prefer that?" Frank was kind of worried about Gerard going nuts at him again--asleep or not--he'd gotten used to the way he looked and was keen to keep his face intact.
"No," Mikey shook his head. "If I know Gerard, and I do, he'll feel awful enough about this without the added knowledge that he left in the middle of the night." Putting his mug in the basin, Mikey patted Frank's shoulder. "I'll let myself out. He should be fine for the rest of the night now. And, Frank? Thanks for calling me."
...............
When Frank finally crept back upstairs, he stood outside the two bedrooms wondering if he should get back in with Gerard. He settled against that idea in the end, putting sheets on the spare bed and lying there staring at the ceiling instead. He'd left the door open in case Gerard called out or something, and tried to get some sleep.
A little while later he was just dozing off when he heard Gerard's quiet voice. "Frank?" He padded further into the room, leaning over the bed and peering down at Frank. "Frank, I'm sorry. I did it again, didn't I?"
Frank looked up. Gerard looked sorry and upset and he was frowning, little creases on his forehead only partially covered by his hair. "Nightmares, Gerard. It's not your fault. Mikey said--"
"You talked to Mikey?"
Frank shook his head, "Doesn't matter. I'll tell you in the morning if you want." Frank lifted the cover and moved over. "You wanna get in?"
Gerard didn't waste any time, Frank wasn't the only one who could see the dawn's light filtering through the curtains. Morning was going to come all too soon.
"If I? Could you?" Gerard turned away, looking back over his shoulder at Frank. "Come closer?"
"Oh." Frank wasn't sure it was a good idea to be spooned up behind Gerard after what happened to him, but Gerard was asking him to, so he just went with it, still asking, "You sure?" before Gerard pulled Frank's arm around his chest and pushed his body tight against Frank's. A silent sign of trust. Frank kissed the nape of his neck as Gerard hugged his arm, and hoped they'd both sleep well for what was left of the night.
....................
When Frank woke up, he was glad to hear Gerard's deep-sleep breathing. It would've been embarrassing and potentially scary maybe for Gerard to wake up with Frank's morning wood pressing up against his ass. Frank grimaced as he tried to tear his bottom half slowly away, and put a pillow between them before Gerard had the chance to move back. He did start to stir though, so Frank quickly slipped his arm back around Gerard's chest and he stilled instantly after threading their fingers together. Frank watched him sleep, yawning as he leant up on his free arm to look over at the peaceful expression on Gerard's face.
Suddenly his eyes flicked open and he smiled, "Hey. How long have you been awake?"
"Don't know," Frank shrugged. "little while?" He brushed through Gerard's hair, "Feeling alright this morning?"
"Mmm, really good." He turned over to face Frank, still smiling. "You're comfortable to sleep next--what's that?" he looked down between them.
"Oh, uh," Frank blushed. "You're... kinda boney?" Gerard shot him a 'you're bullshitting me' look. "Fine, fine. I had, um, morning problems..." he mumbled. He waited for Gerard to laugh at him or something.
Instead, he kissed Frank's cheek. "Ah, okay. That was... considerate of you?" Gerard smirked.
"I just didn't want you to think I, I don't know."
"It's fine, I am a guy, remember? S'not like I don't know... What were you gonna tell me before? You left me last night... and what does Mikey have to do with it?" Frank was hoping Gerard wouldn't remember him saying that. He sat up, pulling the pillow into his lap, ready to speak. Before he could, Gerard followed him up and cupped his cheek gently as he frowned. "What happened to your jaw?"
Touching the spot below Gerard's fingers, he realized how he got what felt like a small bruise. He took a deep breath and held onto Gerard's hand where it'd rested against his skin. "Last night... you. When you were upset, bad dream. I didn't know if I should wake you so I called your brother and, he said--"
"Shit," Gerard moved his hand. "I did that. I'm so sorry."
"Its okay, you didn't mean to. I know that." Frank explained what had happened as Gerard sat in silence, wringing his hands in his lap. "Can you remember what it was about? Mikey said you usually don't."
"I remember, Frank. I always remember."
Frank wiped a tear from Gerard's cheek and pushed his hair out of his eyes. "You wanna talk about it? You don't have to."
"It's been the same since the night it happened. Since the first time I slept in the hospital. I tried not to sleep much because I didn't want anyone to know. But when I got home, I couldn't stay awake so much anymore but it was okay because Mikey was there, but I couldn't..." Gerard hid his head in his hands and Frank knew he was crying from the way his body shook gently, even though he made no noise except for small sniffles every few seconds. He rubbed both hands over Gerard's back and shoulders, not telling him everything would be okay because honestly, he didn't know that. "Always the same faceless guy. Always the same soggy cardboard boxes he pushes my face into. Always..." Frank draped his body over Gerard's, a small kiss above his ear, holding him tight as the crying worsened. "Always the same pain, same voice. But I can never really hear the words. Like, it's not me. I can hear my voice, crying for him to stop, pleading. I won't tell anyone. The only thing I ever hear him say is that when he's done, I won't be able to." Gerard sat up quickly, wiping his face and almost knocking Frank's head with his own. "You can't, please. I mean, don't tell Mikey--I. We've always shared everything but, I can't. I can't talk to him about this. That's why I said I couldn't remember."
"Hey, if you don't want me to, I won't. But he knows what happened; you know he'll understand, right?"
"No. No, I don't want him to understand. He always understands and he's done enough for me, too much, more than a little brother should have to. Please?"
Frank put his arms around Gerard as he sat against his chest, face damp against his skin. "I won't. I promise. Will you do something for me though?" Gerard nodded, playing with the pillow corner. "I think you should, maybe. Will you think about going to counseling? There's a--"
"Frank!"
"Please? Just hear me out. Maybe it'll help with your sleeping." Gerard closed his eyes and settled back against Frank's chest. "There's a guy at the hospital, two days a week. Name's Travis. He might not seem like the most likely candidate for a counselor, but he's really good. Just see him once, and if you don't wanna go back, I won't bring it up ever again."
Gerard sat up and smiled. "You won't bring it up ever again?"
"No, not ever."
"No," Gerard shook his head, still smiling, "I mean, not ever, like, you're planning on hanging around, with me?"
Frank just laughed. "I'm not a one-night-hand job kinda guy. Besides, I think your brother might be harboring homicidal tendencies I'd rather not be victim to."
...............
Frank had to let Gerard go back home when Mikey came to pick him up. He didn't want to, but he had to go to work anyway. Before he left though, Frank made sure to promise Gerard that he wouldn't tell Mikey about what he remembered, and got Gerard to agree to at least try a session with Travis. He just had to get Travis to agree to do it for free.
...............
Two days later, Travis was in for work, and Frank managed to catch him on his own way in. "Hey, uh, Trav? You got a minute?"
"Always for you, dude, 'sup?" Frank smiled and they did their usual high-five-back-slapping routine. He was glad Travis hadn't added the 'little' that he usually did between 'you' and 'dude'.
"Got a favor to ask," Frank said as Travis leaned up against the outside brick of the hospital, pulling a cigarette from behind his ear. "I have this friend...he kinda. I think he could really benefit from having some sessions with you."
"So?" Travis shrugged but not unkindly. Just, not getting it. "Have Greta book him in. That's how it usually works, Frank."
"Yeah. Yeah, I know, it's just. I was hoping you might do it off the books... That's where the favor part comes in."
"Frank..."
"Come on, it's not like you work here seven days a week and it'd be hard to fit in or anything. Please?" Frank tried to pout, but Travis had never been affected by it before, so he started tugging at his sleeve like a kid instead. "Please. He needs it--"
"Alright, alright. I'll do it okay? Get off, man," Travis tried to wriggle his arm free. "But if it's some kid who needs help dealing with the fact their favorite pet died, I'll gonna kill you. Slowly. I'm not wastin' my free time on that again."
"He's not, I promise. Thanks, Travie."
"Get Greta to book him in whenever," Travis called over his shoulder as he left.
The next time Travis was free was two weeks into the New Year, which Frank thought was good timing, fresh start and all. He managed to get a few hours here and there with Gerard, but it was difficult once Gerard went back to work at the comic store. He worked days and Frank mostly worked nights so they completely clashed. When he could, Frank would leave early for work so that he could stop by the store, and by way of thanks for Frank's part in the reappearance of his favorite and only artist, Brian would let Gerard take a half hour break so they could spend some time together. Frank promising Brian a 'friends only discount' at the tattoo parlour he used (he was pretty tight with the owner of the parlour), didn't hurt either.
It was nice to catch up and see how the other was doing, and Frank found out that Gerard had agreed, before the incident, to do a kind of artist workshop day once a month, where he'd spend half the day sitting in the store front window and just sketch in view of passers-by, and the other half showing whoever had come in how to do various kinds of art. Gerard said he wasn't quite up to doing that just yet though. He'd never really liked being on display like that in the first place anyway.
For two weeks, the only time they got to see each other outside of the store was when Gerard came to the hospital for his appointment with Travis. Frank had seen him sitting in the small waiting room, rubbing his hands together nervously, one foot tapping on the floor. He wanted to say hi and give him a reassuring hug but he had work to do, and he was pretty sure he had run Bob's goodwill into the ground recently.
He did see him afterwards though, standing at the desk and talking to Bob. Frank finished getting a cup of water from the pump to give to a patient waiting to take her medication, and his face fell as he saw Gerard walking over to him with his head down, and Bob gesturing for them to go outside. Gerard didn't say anything, just let Frank take his arm and lead him out. They sat on the chair-swing and Gerard let his feet drag on the floor as it moved slowly back and forth. He moved into Frank's side, and Frank draped his arm over his shoulders, laying his head against Gerard's. "You okay?"
There was a short intake of breath, and Frank thought at first that Gerard was getting ready to talk. Instead, he started to cry in small bursts, fingers clutching Frank's arm. Frank started to say how Gerard didn't have to go back if he didn't want to, that he was sorry for mentioning it. "No, don't be sorry," Gerard hiccupped.
"But you're crying," Frank said sadly, and like it wasn't obvious.
Slowly, Gerard lifted his head. His eyes were red and puffy and Frank knew it wasn't the first time he'd cried that day. "I made four more appointments. I just needed you to… I needed a hug." On the inside, Frank smiled wildly, realizing it was a big step Gerard was taking. Putting both arms around Gerard, he wrapped him up tight and rocked them both gently on the swing until Bob had to come and ask for his nurse back.
...............
Gerard never talked about his sessions with Travis, and Frank never asked about them. He figured if Gerard wanted to tell him what was said then he would, simple as that. Each of the following two times he went, Frank just took him outside for a while and they smoked on the chair-swing, chatting about the new comics Brian had gotten in or whatever Gerard had been drawing recently. They'd share a chaste kiss when nobody was around and a bit more of a makeout when Frank stopped by the store, until one time Brian shouted through the backroom curtain for Frank to stop molesting his artist. Gerard had to hold Frank's wrists to stop him jumping up and flat out punching his boss. "It's okay," Gerard had whispered into Frank's neck, "he doesn't know. It's okay." Even so, Frank could feel the tear drip down under his shirt and had to grit his teeth and chant in his head that Gerard was right.
Protective. That was Frank a million times over. The only time it slightly eased up was on the very rare (two, by that time) occasions they went to Gerard's house. Donna would insist on feeding Frank. Ever since she found out he was vegan, she'd made him her guinea pig for attempts at cooking vegan foods and pastries. He'd lost count of the number of pies and muffins she'd made him eat--she couldn't believe the amount of stuff Frank couldn't have--and Gerard always seemed to loosen up at the way she treated Frank. With the exception of his own place, it was Frank's favorite place to be with Gerard.
It was even fun to watch the two brothers fight like ten year olds over action figures and who won what battle to take over the universe. Sometimes, Frank was called on to settle the dispute, and then Gerard would groan because Frank always took Mikey's side, saying it'd be unfair otherwise, but then, Frank would put his arms around Gerard and tell him that if his heart was a game, Gerard would win every time. That's when Mikey would make the 'I'm gonna throw up' gesture and leave them alone.
"I think," Gerard said one day as he waited with Frank for his bus for work to arrive, in the freezing cold evening that was mid-February, "that I should tell my parents."
"Tell them what?"
Gerard stood closer to Frank and slid his arm through to space that formed when Frank stuck his hands in his pockets. "About us. What do you think?"
Frank smiled and said, "Yeah. Yeah, if you want," pulling his arm in closer, and Gerard's along with it. "You want that?"
"I really, really do," Gerard smiled, dipping his head onto Frank's shoulder as the bus pulled up. "Besides, once they know, my mom can stop listening at my door when we're alone." Frank made a face that said 'really?' and Gerard explained, "Mikey caught her with her ear pressed up to the door."
"You need to come to my place. Soon," Frank called as he climbed onto the bus. Once in his seat, he blew Gerard a kiss, leaving his hand pressed against the glass as Gerard returned it.
Soon, Frank decided, was two weeks later. It was one day after he was almost squeezed to death by Gerard and Mikey's mom after Gerard announced while they were both present, that they were indeed together, and the same day as Gerard's last session with Travis. As far as he knew, anyway. Gerard had gone during his lunch-break, an extended one of course, and when 5.30pm rolled around and Gerard came out from the backroom, Frank was by the counter talking to Brian.
"What are you doing here?" Gerard asked with a shocked smile as he picked up his art bag.
"Oh, nothing. Just came by to pick up an issue of Hellboy I was missing..." He waved the comic around as Brian laughed to himself. "Asked Brian to find one for me."
"Hey! That's the issue I. You don't collect Hellboy!" Gerard said, accepting the comic into his hands and studying it closely.
"Oh, yeah. Silly me, I forgot. It's you that collects it. Well then, I guess this is yours."
Gerard held one of Frank's hands, not willing to put the comic down for even a second yet. He swung their arms between them. "Thank you. You want me to wait with you for your bus? You're gonna be late for work."
"You not notice I'm not exactly dressed for work? Come on, I'll explain on our way back to my place."
Frank, it turned out, had booked a few days off. "It's been too long since we had any time alone so I thought I'd steal you for the night. That okay?" The grin that spread across Gerard's face told him he didn't even need to ask.
"I should call Mikey though," Gerard said around a mouthful of the coffee and donut holes they'd stopped to pick up. "So he doesn't worry. He worries too much."
Frank just smiled, "All taken care of, babe," and wiped the sugar from Gerard's chin with his thumb. Gerard raised his eyebrows questioningly.
When they finally reached Frank's house, after also stopping to rent a bunch of DVDs they'd never be able to watch in one night, and to get some popcorn, Frank said, "I got Mikey to drop off some of your stuff earlier, it's in my room."
"Thought of everything, huh? You know you're the best boyfriend, right?"
Taking Gerard's jacket and scarf without answering, Frank asked, straight-faced, "Can I see your back?"
Gerard laughed, not taking him seriously at all. "You wouldn't rather see my front?" But he turned around when Frank's expression didn't change. Frank lifted Gerard's shirt and looked over his back and sides before turning him back around. "What was that for?"
"So I knew it wouldn't hurt," he urged Gerard back against the wall and pressed him there, "when I did this." He kissed Gerard slowly, snaking an arm behind Gerard's back, palm flat over his spine to hold him close even though there was no space between them anyway.
Gerard breathed heavily into Frank's mouth, tangling both hands in his hair and pushing a thigh between Frank's legs, rocking against him. "I missed you," he said, withdrawing his tongue from Frank's. "Missed being so close to you."
Frank nodded solemnly, "Me too." He stepped back slightly, threading their fingers together and pulling both pairs of hands up to his mouth and kissing the backs of Gerard's. "How'd it go today? With Travis."
It'd obviously caught him a little off-guard. "Uh, it was okay. Good, even. I. I'm doing better, I think. Travis said I was, at least. I'd like to think he's right. I haven't had... I've been sleeping a bit better." Gerard placed a slight open-mouthed kiss to the place he'd knocked Frank on his jaw weeks before. "It's all down to you, you know? You're like, my superhero.
"Can I just be your boyfriend? I like the title better," Frank brushed their cheeks together and brought his arms up around Gerard's neck. "I'm glad though. That you're sleeping better."
................
Somehow, halfway through the second DVD, they ended up on the floor. Truthfully, it was because Frank had pulled Gerard down on top of him when he fell off of the couch while trying to reach for the remote. Whoever said lying right on the edge of a couch didn't have its benefits was lying. There were blood and guts being shed two feet away from them but all they noticed was each other. All they tasted was each other; the salted popcorn and Red Bull they'd shared mixing with the smokey tang of cigarettes. And it should've been gross but they were alone, absolutely alone, and Gerard could've been sucking on a chicken wing all night and Frank wouldn't have cared. Too much.
Really, Frank had mostly been paying attention to the movie, but it was evident Gerard's thoughts had been elsewhere when Frank felt the hard outline of his cock pressing against him as Gerard shifted and dragged himself up Frank's body to put a leg either side of his hips. It didn't take Frank long to follow suit, propping himself up to lick at Gerard's bottom lip and nuzzle their noses together while his hips pushed up. Soon enough, they were dry-humping the life out of each other, grinding and groaning, and if there was a makeout competition, they'd have won it, hands down.
The rug underneath them was pretty worn, and as Gerard hastily pulled Frank's shirt over his head, he had a feeling he'd have some pretty awesome rug-burn in the morning. His head thumped down and Gerard started licking at his neck and gently nipping at the join of his neck and shoulder. Frank's hands wandered up the back of Gerard's t-shirt, smoothing over his skin as his head tilted to the side. He brought one hand between them, palming Gerard and pushing his wrist down onto his own erection to get some more friction, as he tried to unbutton Gerard's jeans with one hand. It took him a minute, especially with the way Gerard looked at him as he did it; all parted lips and half lidded eyes, and breathing hard.
"Frank," he moaned as Frank squeezed his hand awkwardly inside and curled his palm around him, the tips of his fingers massaging the base of his cock. Frank bit his lip. Half because of the pain of Gerard's zipper against the back of his wrist, and half because Gerard had shuffled up, sitting right on his dick. "We should. Could we... move this ups--God--upstairs?"
Frank wasn't sure exactly what this was or what it was going to be, but he definitely wanted to get off of the floor, so he pulled his hand out of Gerard's jeans and Gerard lifted himself off, waiting for Frank to take the lead.
part four