Can't Stand It-v63
Title: Can’t Stand It - Vignettes
Rating: NC-17 for the whole story
Genre: au
Summary: Jack drives to Wyoming when he hears about Ennis’ divorce. He does not react well to Ennis sending him away.
Warnings: Angst, bad grammar, typos.....no death and I like happily ever after.
Disclaimer: I borrowed these characters and I make no money from this.
Feedback: Yes, be honest- just be nice about it. I’m sorry that I write the lamest responses.
ENJOY!
Can’t Stand It
V63
Jack came out of the office and the look on his face made Ennis stand up. “What is it, Jack?”
“Where’s Bobby?”
“In his room. What’s going on?”
“Lureen had a baby two months ago. Finally decided to tell me.”
“Is it a boy or girl?” Jack and Ennis both looked up at Bobby. He was halfway down the staircase. “Guess it doesn’t matter, I’ll never meet it.” Bobby ran up the stairs.
Jack ran after Bobby and Ennis followed. Bobby was face down on his bed when Jack and Ennis entered the room. Jack looked at him. “It’s a girl and her name is Laura.”
Bobby didn’t move. “Did she name it after herself or LD?”
“Don’t know.” Jack sat next to Bobby and put his hand on his back. “You want to meet your sister.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to talk to Lureen.”
“I’ll talk to her, Bobby. Maybe...”
Bobby turned around. “It took her two months, why do you think she is itching for me to see her.”
“I can’t explain your mother.”
“I’m not going to Texas and I don’t want her here.”
Jack stroked Bobby’s face. “Let me call her.” He leaned in and kissed him.
“Ma...”
Ennis sat where Jack had been and gathered Bobby into his arms. “I’m right here.” He rocked Bobby as Jack left the room.
Jack got off the phone and walked back to Bobby’s room. Bobby was still in Ennis’ arms, but he wasn’t crying. He sat on the other side of Bobby. “She agreed. We’re going to meet her in some park in Oklahoma, next Sunday morning. Once I figure out where the fuck it is, I’ll get us a room a few towns away so we can meet. Sounds like she is willing to do the same thing. She understands that you don’t want to talk to her, but you can change your mind.”
“I won’t. Ennis, will you come with us?”
Ennis looked at Bobby’s big eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was meet Lureen. “Whatever you want.” He felt Bobby hug him tighter.
“Thanks, Ma.”
++++
The following Saturday they drove to a hotel in Oklahoma. Nothing had been discussed the entire week; Bobby wouldn’t allow it. Jack knew Bobby talked to Doris about it, Bobby looked completely wiped out when he exited Doris’ office. Jack was glad he had Ennis come with them because Bobby lost it in the car. He wouldn’t talk, but got hysterical. Jack climbed over the seat and held Bobby until they got home.
Bobby spent the night in their bed. It had a while since Bobby had needed that. Jack spent half the night watching Bobby, who was clutching Clyde, sleep. Ennis spent half the night watching Jack and Bobby.
After they got to their hotel rooms, Bobby announced he wanted to buy something for his sister. He mentioned that he hadn’t wanted to do it in Kansas because if someone noticed, there would’ve been questions.
They found a toy store and Bobby went to the stuffed animal section. Bobby returned with a large koala and a horse. Jack took them and paid for them. They went back to the hotel and Ennis and Bobby stretched out on one bed while Jack called Lureen.
When Jack got off the phone, he looked over at the other bed. “We will meet them at ten.” He walked over to the other bed and kissed Bobby’s forehead. “How come you picked the koala?”
“Everyone gets babies teddy bears. I wanted to stand out. How come you’re not asking me about the horse?”
“Because I’m not stupid.”
“Oh.”
++++
They went to a diner for dinner and went back to their rooms. They changed into their pajamas and watched TV. Jack and Ennis tucked Bobby into one bed and climbed into the other. Ennis pulled Jack’s head to his chest. He didn’t say anything because Bobby was so close, but he held Jack’s hand and stroked his back.
In the morning Ennis had Bobby go to the other room to make the bed looked slept in and the bathroom used. They went to breakfast and then Jack drove them to the park. Jack saw Lureen sitting, holding a baby in her arms. The man he assumed was her husband was sitting next to her. He got out of the car and heard Bobby and Ennis get out too.
Ennis watched as Jack walked over to Lureen. He felt like he was watching a spy movie and they were about to trade prisoners. He led Bobby to another bench and they sat down and waited as Jack talked to Lureen. Ennis watched as Lureen’s husband took the baby from her, walked over to Bobby and put Laura into Bobby’s arms. Laura’s father put a bottle next to him and mumbled that if she cried he could try to feed her because Jack said Bobby had fed babies before.
When the man walked away, Ennis got up and went back to the car. He leaned against it and watched the two benches.
++++
“He’s so big, he’s got to be taller than me.”
“He’s my height, Lureen.”
“Wish I could talk to him.”
“This is a good first step, Lureen.”
“I hope so. Is he singing to her?”
“Looks like it.”
“Is that Ennis?”
“Yeah.”
“Doesn’t look...”
“Did I?”
“Guess not.” Laura started to cry and Bobby started to feed her. When she was done with the bottle, Bobby put her on his shoulder and burped her. “How’d he learn to do that?”
“Family friend’s baby.”
“He’s gentle with her, never thought of him as gentle.”
“He can be. Can I take a few pictures of them together?”
“Of course.”
Jack got up, went to the car and got his camera. He took a few pictures as Laura fell asleep in Bobby’s arms. When Laura was asleep, Bobby got up and handed Laura to Jack. “Are you sure? It’s only been twenty minutes.”
“She isn’t going to remember, just me. I don’t need more.”
“Okay, Pup. Don’t forget the stuffed animals.” Jack walked back to Lureen as Bobby rushed to the car.
Lureen took Laura. “He can spend more time with her.”
“He said it’s enough.”
“We can do this again, Jack. When Bobby wants to.”
“Thanks.” Jack could see Bobby approaching with a bag.
Bobby put the bag next to Lureen. “They’re for Laura.”
“Thank you, Bobby.”
Jack watched Bobby rush back to Ennis and crash into him. He turned back to Lureen, “I think he had enough.”
“We’ll wait a few minutes to see if he changes his mind.”
“Okay.” Jack nodded to Lureen’s silent husband. He walked back to the car. He pressed his hand onto Bobby’s back. “We don’t have to leave, Pup.”
“I want to go.”
“Okay. You want Ennis to get in the back with you?”
“Want you.”
“Okay, Pup.” Jack opened the back door. He glanced at Ennis and watched Bobby scurry into the back seat. He followed Bobby and shut the door.
Ennis got behind the wheel. “Are you sure?”
“Please, can we just go?”
“We can go.” Ennis started the car and backed out of the parking space.
As soon as Lureen was out of view, Bobby stared to cry. Jack hugged him and rocked him. When Bobby calmed down, he curled up next to Jack and rested his head on Jack’s thigh.
++++
Ennis drove them home in silence. He would look in the mirror and watch Jack trying to control his emotions. When they were near the farm, Ennis got some fast food at a drive thru.
When they got home, Jack woke Bobby up. They picked up their bags and headed to the house. They sat at the table and ate.
“How are you doing, Pup?”
“Okay.”
“How come you didn’t want to stay longer?”
“Saw her. Held her. It just got to be too much.”
“Lureen said she’d do this again if you want.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Ennis finally spoke. “That’s a good thing, Bobby.”
“Maybe.”
Bobby finished his homework and watched a little TV. Ennis and Jack went upstairs and tucked him in. They hadn’t tucked him for years, but they both concluded he needed it. They sat on either side of him. Ennis felt Bobby press against him.
“Bobby?” Ennis asked. He put his arms around him.
Bobby looked at Jack. “Was she like that with me?”
“Like what?”
“When I was a baby. The way she looked at Laura, like I was the most amazing, wonderful thing. Did she ever look at me like that?”
“Yes, Pup. She looked at you like that.”
“I don’t remember her ever looking me like that.”
“She did.”
“Are you just saying that?”
“No, Pup. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“When did she stop?”
“Don’t know. I’m sorry.” Jack paused, “What about me?”
“When I was really little, you used to look at me like I was this amazing creature. Then you stopped. But, before we left Texas you started to look at me like that again. You still look at me like that, with a touch of that’s my kid.”
Jack smiled at Ennis. “That’s my kid?”
“Pride.”
Jack touched Bobby’s face. “I’m very proud that you’re my kid.”
“I’m proud you’re my Dad.” Bobby twisted his head to look at Ennis. “Don’t worry, Ennis. I’m proud you’re my Ma.”
Ennis smiled at Bobby. “Back at you?”
Bobby looked back at Jack. “What do you think changed her mind about me?”
“I don’t think she ever changed her mind. I just think she stopped showing a lot of expression in her face.”
“You think LD did that?”
“Maybe. Maybe it was me, Pup. I don’t know.”
“She was cute.”
“Laura?”
“Yeah. Smelled nice. I like that new baby smell.”
“Bobby, don’t make her sound like a new car.” Ennis said softly.
“Didn’t mean to. Do you really think she will let me see her again?”
Jack smiled at Bobby. “Yeah, Pup.”
Ennis and Jack stayed with Bobby until he fell asleep. As soon as Ennis and Jack were in their own room, Ennis pulled Jack close to him. He kissed Jack softly. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Nothing...Too much.”
“Let me take care of you, okay?”
“Okay.” Jack rested his head on Ennis’ shoulder. “I hope Lureen keeps her word.”
A month later Jack opened a large envelope. Inside, there were pictures of Laura with the stuffed animals.
++++
For the next two months Lureen sent pictures of Laura. And then it stopped. Bobby didn’t say anything, but Jack knew it was bothering him. He called Lureen at the office and was told that she sold the company and was no longer working there. He then called the house and left a message on the machine. When he didn’t hear back, he called the next day. This time he reached her.
+++
Ennis walked into the house to have lunch with Jack. He knew Brenda was in Boston so he was hoping for some nookie. Jack wasn’t in the kitchen and when he walked into the living room he saw the coffee table in pieces against the wall. He knew Jack had to have thrown it. The liquor cabinet door was open and off one of its hinges. He noticed that the shelf was covered with broken glass and some liquid. He then realized that there were smashed bottles on the floor. Glass and liquid were everywhere.
He knew Jack was home because all the cars were there. He peeked in the office and den and then ran upstairs to their room. He then walked toward Bobby’s room. He found Jack sitting on the bed holding Clyde. The cats were curled up next to him. Jack looked up at him with an expression of heartbreak. “Jack…”
“I’m sorry about downstairs. I’ll clean it up later.”
Ennis sat next to Jack. “What’s going on?”
“Doris is out of the country…I don’t know what to do.”
“What has Doris have to do with all this? You’re confusing me and scaring me.”
“I told you that I called to find out why Lureen stopped with the pictures. Told you that guy said she sold the business…I talked to her today.”
“What did she say?”
“She doesn’t want Laura to know how she messed up with Bobby.”
Ennis didn’t like the sound of that, but he didn’t know where that would lead. “And…”
“She’s afraid that if they stay there, she will find out when she’s older. So they are moving. She wouldn’t say where. Said her husband’s family doesn’t know about Bobby. She didn’t tell them because Bobby didn’t go to the wedding. She thinks if they leave, she can start fresh.”
“Shit…”
“How much can Bobby take? How am I going to explain this to him? I begged her to reconsider this. Said move away, but don’t permanently cut off Bobby from his sister. I told her Laura will find out some day and will never forgive her. Said she would take her chances…I hate that woman so much….I have fucked up with Bobby…Big time…So have you…Lureen isn’t going to wake up and fix it. If I didn’t call, she would’ve just vanished.”
Ennis didn’t know what to say. “What can I do?”
“I don’t know. How am I going to tell him? Ennis, she was about to throw out everything that she had left of Bobby. I told her to send me everything and anything. Stuff I didn’t take or forgot to take…Everything.”
+++
Jack and Ennis were still cleaning up the mess downstairs when Bobby got home. Bobby looked at the destruction and said, “This can’t be good.”
Jack sat down next to Bobby. He waited for Ennis to sit on the other side of Bobby. “I feel like I just keep hitting you with news that hurts you.”
“Are you two fighting again? Are you breaking up? Are you drinking?”
“No. No and no. We’re fine. Everyone is healthy and alive.”
“Then it’s Lureen.”
“Why do you say that, Bobby.”
“She stopped with the pictures…I know you, you called her, didn’t you?”
“She’s leaving Texas.”
“Going where?”
“I don’t know, Pup. She wouldn’t tell me.” Jack could see that Bobby was confused. “She…”
“She doesn’t want me to know?” Bobby asked. “She’s cutting me out of her life for good. Why now?”
“She said she is leaving because as Laura gets older…”
“She’ll learn about me…”
Jack was surprised that Bobby was so fast with picking up on everything. Then he wondered if it was something that Bobby suspected and feared. Jack waited for Bobby to continue, but he stayed quiet. “Pup? Say something.”
“Where’s the coffee table?”
“I was trying to figure out how to tell you and I bumped into it. I threw it.”
“How’s your back?”
Jack almost smiled. “The table wasn’t that heavy.”
“Doesn’t she know if I asked you to, you would hire someone to find her?”
“I don’t know what she thinks. Do you want me to?”
“No. Why would I want to chase down someone who doesn’t want me?”
“What about Laura?”
“I hope she never finds about me.”
“Pup…”
“I bet it would be bad enough to know your mother fucked up big time with their first kid…But, to know they would vanish like that…Who knows how she will turn out with a mother like Lureen, but if she finds out…She may hate her or at least not trust her ever again…I know what that’s like…I don’t wish that on anyone.” Bobby stood up.
“Bobby…”
“My life isn’t really changing, much. I have a family and Ma who actually loves me. Lureen can’t take that away from me. I have homework and I’m hungry. Call me when dinner is ready.”
Jack let Bobby walk away even though he didn’t want to. He felt Ennis’ arms move around him. After a few minutes he spoke. “I’ll get us some pizza, you go be a Ma to him.”
“He needs you, Jack.”
“I think he needs his Ma. I think he needs to feel that.”
“Jack…”
“I would, Ennis. If I was him, I would want you. To show myself that I have someone better than Lureen.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to go up?”
“I want to go up, but he needs you. He gave us these roles; we need to play them for him. He’ll need me later.” He felt Ennis’ lips on his cheek.
+++
Ennis knocked on the open door and walked in. Bobby was standing near the window, looking out.
“Where’s he going, Ennis?”
“Pizza.”
“He sent you up here…”
“Bobby…” Ennis watched Bobby turn his head to face him. His eyes were red and his face was still wet. Ennis took a few steps and put his arms around Bobby. He felt Bobby’s head on his shoulder.
“Ma…”
Ennis could feel Bobby’s body shaking as he cried. He hugged him. He listened as Bobby vented. He stroked Bobby’s hair and tried to give him answers, but he couldn’t. Part of him was afraid that Bobby would bring up the time he almost walked away from him.
+++
Jack walked into the house and dumped the pizza on the table. He walked into the living room and saw a fire in the fireplace and heard the air conditioner. He also noticed that there were mattresses on the floor in front of the fire. He heard a creak and turned to see Ennis walking down the stairs. Ennis was carrying sheets and blankets. “Ennis?”
Ennis dropped everything onto the couch and pulled him to the office. “He started talking about how we used to sleep in front of the fireplace. I know it’s part of his regression, but I thought it would make him feel better. Safe.”
“It’s fine, Ennis.”
“I also told him he didn’t have to worry about his homework, I don’t think he’s going to get much sleep tonight or go to school tomorrow.”
Jack sighed, “Ennis…”
“He was asking why it was so easy for people to walk away from him.”
“Shit.”
“He was trying to figure out how long it took us to figure out that we shouldn’t walk away from him. He counted the hours. I have a feeling, even if he doesn’t admit it, he’s hoping that Lureen will come to her senses.”
“Like we did…”
“Like we did. I don’t think he believes she will, but he wants her to.”
“He’s going to wait up all night, isn’t he? Waiting for her to be the mother he needs. I hate her so much.”
“When she doesn’t call…”
“My poor Pup. You’re a good Ma. I just don’t think I can deal with all this.”
“Oh, he’s mad at you for sending me to him because you knew he needed me.”
“That, I can deal with.”
++++
Ennis was right about the long night. Bobby spent much of it watching the fire. Ennis kept hoping that the phone would ring, but it didn’t.
Ennis woke up to a knock on the kitchen door. He woke Bobby and Jack up because he knew they didn’t want to be caught like that. He crawled off the mattress and headed to the kitchen. It was a delivery guy. He was told to drive up and drop off some boxes. Ennis told him to get them. He watched the guy walk away. When he went back into the living room, he could see the mattresses were gone. He didn’t think they had time to drag them upstairs so he wondered where they were. He also wondered where Bobby and Jack were.
It took the man three trips to bring in the six boxes. Ennis had him bring them to the now empty living room. When he signed for them, he could see they were from Lureen. He let the delivery guy use the bathroom and gave him a cold soda can to take with him.
Ennis thanked the man and locked the door after closing it. He glanced at the clock; it was almost 10 am. He walked back into the living room, “Where are you?”
He then saw a mattress moving toward him. He helped them move everything from the den and put it back in front of the fireplace. After they ate breakfast, they opened the boxes. Most of the stuff was old clothes, pictures, toys, artwork and some schoolwork.
Jack told Bobby about each thing as it came out of the box. The baby clothes and his first shoes bronzed were some of the first things they found. Some of the things were things that Bobby had never seen. When they opened the fourth box they found the Koala and the horse that Bobby had given Laura. That’s when Bobby lost it.
Ennis held Jack as Jack held Bobby as Bobby cried. Bobby had said in the early morning hours that at least Laura would have the two stuffed animals. She wouldn’t know who they were from, but she would have that. Now he knew she wouldn’t even have that.
Bobby asked him to open the other boxes to take everything out. Ennis guessed he was hoping for a note. There wasn’t one, just more stuff. When the boxes were empty, he looked at all the stuff on the couches. Ennis picked up the two photo albums and sat next to Bobby on the mattress. They hadn’t looked through them. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea or not. He waited for one of the Twists to make a move.
++++
Jack recognized one of the albums. It was Lureen’s. When they got divorced, they split up the pictures. Jack got most of them, because he had Bobby with him. Lureen had picked her favorites. “That’s your mother’s, I don’t know about that one.”
“It’s Grandma’s. She used to show me pictures of Lureen when she was little and then there were ones of me when I was little. I wonder if she is going with Lureen.”
“If she is giving this away, then I’m guessing she’s leaving. I’m sorry, Pup.”
“Let’s look at hers after.”
+++
Ennis stared at the pictures. He had never seen any of them. They were mostly of Bobby and Lureen. He noticed at the beginning, when Bobby was an infant, Lureen looked the happiest. As Bobby got older, she didn’t have the same look of happiness when she looked at Bobby. He also noticed that by the time Bobby was three, almost all the pictures of the two of them was at her office. The rest were pictures of Bobby alone. Jack would tell them what was going on in the picture because Bobby was too young to remember. There were no pictures of Bobby after the divorce.
Ennis watched Bobby open his grandmother’s album. Some of the pictures were similar to the ones he had seen over the years or in Lureen’s album, but were obviously from a different camera. There were empty spots as if someone took some pictures out. He wondered if she pulled out the pictures without Bobby. His questions were answered when Bobby turned the page and saw a blank area.
“The picture of me driving the tractor is missing. I thought others were, but I know this picture. Grandma would go on and on how it would be wonderful to see me follow in the family business. I was seven in that picture. I wonder if she took it with her.” Bobby flipped through the pages and more empty spots. Bobby threw the album away from them and pressed himself against Jack.
Ennis moved closer to both Twists and held them. He could tell when Bobby fell asleep. He knew Jack did, too because that’s when Jack started to cry.
++++
Jack was surprised when Bobby woke up and pulled away. He said he wanted to shower and go for a ride. He then asked him to put everything away. He didn’t want to see it, but he didn’t want it thrown out.
After Bobby and Ennis left, he packed up and brought it to one of the basement closets. He then went into the kitchen and called Sam. He didn’t know how long he was on the phone, but he was still on the phone when Bobby and Ennis arrived.
When he got off the phone, he knew Bobby was annoyed. “Who’d you tell?”
“I was talking to Sam.”
“You told him? So I can continue to be poor little unloved Bobby to them.”
“They don’t think that. I called because I needed a friend.”
“You shouldn’t tell them everything about me.”
“Bobby, I needed to talk to someone. I ache for you, Bobby, but you weren’t the only one erased, Bobby. I can’t express how terrible I feel about you, but this hurts me, too. You were at my parents’ house. I was scrubbed out of their lives…I know what it’s like to be someone’s dirty little secret.” Jack saw Ennis wince at that. He hadn’t meant to hurt Ennis, but a lot of old feelings have surfaced. “I just needed to vent.”
Bobby moved toward him. “I didn’t think about that. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry, too. Sam’s picking Brenda up at the airport. Don’t be surprised if they show up.”
“I’m going to take a shower and then start my homework. I don’t want to think about Lureen anymore.”
Jack waited until Bobby left the room. “I’m sorry, Ennis. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know.”
“You were my secret, too.”
“I know, Jack.”
“How was the ride?”
“Quiet.”
+++
Ennis watched as Brenda dragged Bobby outside and made him stand on the lawn as she stayed on one of the steps. They were standing face to face. Sam interrupted his thoughts.
“She does that with Ricky.”
“Does what?”
“Stands on a step so they are eye to eye. Bobby’s at least a foot taller than her, she wants to make herself bigger to him.”
“Oh.”
“Let’s let them be. Where did Jack go?”
Sam and Brenda didn’t stay long. Ennis was dying to find out what Brenda said to Bobby, but he wasn’t sure if Bobby would share. He thought Bobby seemed calmer. He wondered if Bobby would blow up at them because he usually did after needed comfort.
Bobby didn’t blow up at them and in fact, quietly requested to be read to. When they got to Bobby’s room, Bobby handed him two children’s books. Bobby curled up against Jack and he read to the two Twists.
+++
A few days later, Bobby came home from Karate and announced that he wasn’t the only person with a shitty parent. As they ate dinner, Bobby told them that he went to talk to his coach when he overheard a conversation between his coach and another gym teacher. One of the football players was having a hard time. No one knew, but a month earlier his father had walked out on the whole family. He had gone shopping with his mom and two younger sisters. His father said he was going stay at home dealing with their backyard fencing. When they came home, his father was gone. Some of his father’s clothes and stuff were gone too. After a few days they found out he cleared out their savings and canceled the credit cards. The school just found out because his mother came in to get them free lunches.
Bobby said he knew this kid had it worse than him. Lureen didn’t leave him in a desperate situation. The mother didn’t have a job, they had no money and they couldn’t pay their bills.
Ennis asked if he knew the kid’s name. Ennis was surprised that he knew the kid. He explained that one of the boy’s sisters was a friend of one Jenny’s camp friends. The girl had never been to their house, but he had picked her up and dropped her off many times.
A few days later, Ennis bumped into boy’s mother at one of the coops. When he got home, he found Jack.
“I talked to Brenda. All those football families know each other. I thought about sending you, but that would be harder to explain how you knew. Anyway, Brenda found a way to bump into her and they started to talk. When she mentioned she was looking for a job, Brenda told her we needed someone.”
“We didn’t need someone.” Ennis replied.
“She doesn’t know that. Her salary isn’t going to break the bank, Ennis. I figured I was giving her a break.”
“That was nice of you.”
“Felt guilty, Ennis. I was kinda happy to hear that Bobby wasn’t they only kid to have a shitty parent. Made him feel not alone. Made me feel like a bad man.”
“You’re a good man, Jack Twist.” Ennis leaned in and kissed him. “Does Bobby know?”
“I told him after I hired her. He seemed pleased with me. At least for the moment.”
tbc
(note: Sadly, this happens more than you think. During grade school and high school I knew of three parents who walked out and disappeared. I was friends with one girl whose father did this to her. She hasn’t heard a word in 30 years. I also know one girl who was kidnapped by one parent for two years.)
Playstation2 Game Rental Online
Rating: NC-17 for the whole story
Genre: au
Summary: Jack drives to Wyoming when he hears about Ennis’ divorce. He does not react well to Ennis sending him away.
Warnings: Angst, bad grammar, typos.....no death and I like happily ever after.
Disclaimer: I borrowed these characters and I make no money from this.
Feedback: Yes, be honest- just be nice about it. I’m sorry that I write the lamest responses.
ENJOY!
Can’t Stand It
V63
Jack came out of the office and the look on his face made Ennis stand up. “What is it, Jack?”
“Where’s Bobby?”
“In his room. What’s going on?”
“Lureen had a baby two months ago. Finally decided to tell me.”
“Is it a boy or girl?” Jack and Ennis both looked up at Bobby. He was halfway down the staircase. “Guess it doesn’t matter, I’ll never meet it.” Bobby ran up the stairs.
Jack ran after Bobby and Ennis followed. Bobby was face down on his bed when Jack and Ennis entered the room. Jack looked at him. “It’s a girl and her name is Laura.”
Bobby didn’t move. “Did she name it after herself or LD?”
“Don’t know.” Jack sat next to Bobby and put his hand on his back. “You want to meet your sister.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to talk to Lureen.”
“I’ll talk to her, Bobby. Maybe...”
Bobby turned around. “It took her two months, why do you think she is itching for me to see her.”
“I can’t explain your mother.”
“I’m not going to Texas and I don’t want her here.”
Jack stroked Bobby’s face. “Let me call her.” He leaned in and kissed him.
“Ma...”
Ennis sat where Jack had been and gathered Bobby into his arms. “I’m right here.” He rocked Bobby as Jack left the room.
Jack got off the phone and walked back to Bobby’s room. Bobby was still in Ennis’ arms, but he wasn’t crying. He sat on the other side of Bobby. “She agreed. We’re going to meet her in some park in Oklahoma, next Sunday morning. Once I figure out where the fuck it is, I’ll get us a room a few towns away so we can meet. Sounds like she is willing to do the same thing. She understands that you don’t want to talk to her, but you can change your mind.”
“I won’t. Ennis, will you come with us?”
Ennis looked at Bobby’s big eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was meet Lureen. “Whatever you want.” He felt Bobby hug him tighter.
“Thanks, Ma.”
++++
The following Saturday they drove to a hotel in Oklahoma. Nothing had been discussed the entire week; Bobby wouldn’t allow it. Jack knew Bobby talked to Doris about it, Bobby looked completely wiped out when he exited Doris’ office. Jack was glad he had Ennis come with them because Bobby lost it in the car. He wouldn’t talk, but got hysterical. Jack climbed over the seat and held Bobby until they got home.
Bobby spent the night in their bed. It had a while since Bobby had needed that. Jack spent half the night watching Bobby, who was clutching Clyde, sleep. Ennis spent half the night watching Jack and Bobby.
After they got to their hotel rooms, Bobby announced he wanted to buy something for his sister. He mentioned that he hadn’t wanted to do it in Kansas because if someone noticed, there would’ve been questions.
They found a toy store and Bobby went to the stuffed animal section. Bobby returned with a large koala and a horse. Jack took them and paid for them. They went back to the hotel and Ennis and Bobby stretched out on one bed while Jack called Lureen.
When Jack got off the phone, he looked over at the other bed. “We will meet them at ten.” He walked over to the other bed and kissed Bobby’s forehead. “How come you picked the koala?”
“Everyone gets babies teddy bears. I wanted to stand out. How come you’re not asking me about the horse?”
“Because I’m not stupid.”
“Oh.”
++++
They went to a diner for dinner and went back to their rooms. They changed into their pajamas and watched TV. Jack and Ennis tucked Bobby into one bed and climbed into the other. Ennis pulled Jack’s head to his chest. He didn’t say anything because Bobby was so close, but he held Jack’s hand and stroked his back.
In the morning Ennis had Bobby go to the other room to make the bed looked slept in and the bathroom used. They went to breakfast and then Jack drove them to the park. Jack saw Lureen sitting, holding a baby in her arms. The man he assumed was her husband was sitting next to her. He got out of the car and heard Bobby and Ennis get out too.
Ennis watched as Jack walked over to Lureen. He felt like he was watching a spy movie and they were about to trade prisoners. He led Bobby to another bench and they sat down and waited as Jack talked to Lureen. Ennis watched as Lureen’s husband took the baby from her, walked over to Bobby and put Laura into Bobby’s arms. Laura’s father put a bottle next to him and mumbled that if she cried he could try to feed her because Jack said Bobby had fed babies before.
When the man walked away, Ennis got up and went back to the car. He leaned against it and watched the two benches.
++++
“He’s so big, he’s got to be taller than me.”
“He’s my height, Lureen.”
“Wish I could talk to him.”
“This is a good first step, Lureen.”
“I hope so. Is he singing to her?”
“Looks like it.”
“Is that Ennis?”
“Yeah.”
“Doesn’t look...”
“Did I?”
“Guess not.” Laura started to cry and Bobby started to feed her. When she was done with the bottle, Bobby put her on his shoulder and burped her. “How’d he learn to do that?”
“Family friend’s baby.”
“He’s gentle with her, never thought of him as gentle.”
“He can be. Can I take a few pictures of them together?”
“Of course.”
Jack got up, went to the car and got his camera. He took a few pictures as Laura fell asleep in Bobby’s arms. When Laura was asleep, Bobby got up and handed Laura to Jack. “Are you sure? It’s only been twenty minutes.”
“She isn’t going to remember, just me. I don’t need more.”
“Okay, Pup. Don’t forget the stuffed animals.” Jack walked back to Lureen as Bobby rushed to the car.
Lureen took Laura. “He can spend more time with her.”
“He said it’s enough.”
“We can do this again, Jack. When Bobby wants to.”
“Thanks.” Jack could see Bobby approaching with a bag.
Bobby put the bag next to Lureen. “They’re for Laura.”
“Thank you, Bobby.”
Jack watched Bobby rush back to Ennis and crash into him. He turned back to Lureen, “I think he had enough.”
“We’ll wait a few minutes to see if he changes his mind.”
“Okay.” Jack nodded to Lureen’s silent husband. He walked back to the car. He pressed his hand onto Bobby’s back. “We don’t have to leave, Pup.”
“I want to go.”
“Okay. You want Ennis to get in the back with you?”
“Want you.”
“Okay, Pup.” Jack opened the back door. He glanced at Ennis and watched Bobby scurry into the back seat. He followed Bobby and shut the door.
Ennis got behind the wheel. “Are you sure?”
“Please, can we just go?”
“We can go.” Ennis started the car and backed out of the parking space.
As soon as Lureen was out of view, Bobby stared to cry. Jack hugged him and rocked him. When Bobby calmed down, he curled up next to Jack and rested his head on Jack’s thigh.
++++
Ennis drove them home in silence. He would look in the mirror and watch Jack trying to control his emotions. When they were near the farm, Ennis got some fast food at a drive thru.
When they got home, Jack woke Bobby up. They picked up their bags and headed to the house. They sat at the table and ate.
“How are you doing, Pup?”
“Okay.”
“How come you didn’t want to stay longer?”
“Saw her. Held her. It just got to be too much.”
“Lureen said she’d do this again if you want.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Ennis finally spoke. “That’s a good thing, Bobby.”
“Maybe.”
Bobby finished his homework and watched a little TV. Ennis and Jack went upstairs and tucked him in. They hadn’t tucked him for years, but they both concluded he needed it. They sat on either side of him. Ennis felt Bobby press against him.
“Bobby?” Ennis asked. He put his arms around him.
Bobby looked at Jack. “Was she like that with me?”
“Like what?”
“When I was a baby. The way she looked at Laura, like I was the most amazing, wonderful thing. Did she ever look at me like that?”
“Yes, Pup. She looked at you like that.”
“I don’t remember her ever looking me like that.”
“She did.”
“Are you just saying that?”
“No, Pup. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“When did she stop?”
“Don’t know. I’m sorry.” Jack paused, “What about me?”
“When I was really little, you used to look at me like I was this amazing creature. Then you stopped. But, before we left Texas you started to look at me like that again. You still look at me like that, with a touch of that’s my kid.”
Jack smiled at Ennis. “That’s my kid?”
“Pride.”
Jack touched Bobby’s face. “I’m very proud that you’re my kid.”
“I’m proud you’re my Dad.” Bobby twisted his head to look at Ennis. “Don’t worry, Ennis. I’m proud you’re my Ma.”
Ennis smiled at Bobby. “Back at you?”
Bobby looked back at Jack. “What do you think changed her mind about me?”
“I don’t think she ever changed her mind. I just think she stopped showing a lot of expression in her face.”
“You think LD did that?”
“Maybe. Maybe it was me, Pup. I don’t know.”
“She was cute.”
“Laura?”
“Yeah. Smelled nice. I like that new baby smell.”
“Bobby, don’t make her sound like a new car.” Ennis said softly.
“Didn’t mean to. Do you really think she will let me see her again?”
Jack smiled at Bobby. “Yeah, Pup.”
Ennis and Jack stayed with Bobby until he fell asleep. As soon as Ennis and Jack were in their own room, Ennis pulled Jack close to him. He kissed Jack softly. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Nothing...Too much.”
“Let me take care of you, okay?”
“Okay.” Jack rested his head on Ennis’ shoulder. “I hope Lureen keeps her word.”
A month later Jack opened a large envelope. Inside, there were pictures of Laura with the stuffed animals.
++++
For the next two months Lureen sent pictures of Laura. And then it stopped. Bobby didn’t say anything, but Jack knew it was bothering him. He called Lureen at the office and was told that she sold the company and was no longer working there. He then called the house and left a message on the machine. When he didn’t hear back, he called the next day. This time he reached her.
+++
Ennis walked into the house to have lunch with Jack. He knew Brenda was in Boston so he was hoping for some nookie. Jack wasn’t in the kitchen and when he walked into the living room he saw the coffee table in pieces against the wall. He knew Jack had to have thrown it. The liquor cabinet door was open and off one of its hinges. He noticed that the shelf was covered with broken glass and some liquid. He then realized that there were smashed bottles on the floor. Glass and liquid were everywhere.
He knew Jack was home because all the cars were there. He peeked in the office and den and then ran upstairs to their room. He then walked toward Bobby’s room. He found Jack sitting on the bed holding Clyde. The cats were curled up next to him. Jack looked up at him with an expression of heartbreak. “Jack…”
“I’m sorry about downstairs. I’ll clean it up later.”
Ennis sat next to Jack. “What’s going on?”
“Doris is out of the country…I don’t know what to do.”
“What has Doris have to do with all this? You’re confusing me and scaring me.”
“I told you that I called to find out why Lureen stopped with the pictures. Told you that guy said she sold the business…I talked to her today.”
“What did she say?”
“She doesn’t want Laura to know how she messed up with Bobby.”
Ennis didn’t like the sound of that, but he didn’t know where that would lead. “And…”
“She’s afraid that if they stay there, she will find out when she’s older. So they are moving. She wouldn’t say where. Said her husband’s family doesn’t know about Bobby. She didn’t tell them because Bobby didn’t go to the wedding. She thinks if they leave, she can start fresh.”
“Shit…”
“How much can Bobby take? How am I going to explain this to him? I begged her to reconsider this. Said move away, but don’t permanently cut off Bobby from his sister. I told her Laura will find out some day and will never forgive her. Said she would take her chances…I hate that woman so much….I have fucked up with Bobby…Big time…So have you…Lureen isn’t going to wake up and fix it. If I didn’t call, she would’ve just vanished.”
Ennis didn’t know what to say. “What can I do?”
“I don’t know. How am I going to tell him? Ennis, she was about to throw out everything that she had left of Bobby. I told her to send me everything and anything. Stuff I didn’t take or forgot to take…Everything.”
+++
Jack and Ennis were still cleaning up the mess downstairs when Bobby got home. Bobby looked at the destruction and said, “This can’t be good.”
Jack sat down next to Bobby. He waited for Ennis to sit on the other side of Bobby. “I feel like I just keep hitting you with news that hurts you.”
“Are you two fighting again? Are you breaking up? Are you drinking?”
“No. No and no. We’re fine. Everyone is healthy and alive.”
“Then it’s Lureen.”
“Why do you say that, Bobby.”
“She stopped with the pictures…I know you, you called her, didn’t you?”
“She’s leaving Texas.”
“Going where?”
“I don’t know, Pup. She wouldn’t tell me.” Jack could see that Bobby was confused. “She…”
“She doesn’t want me to know?” Bobby asked. “She’s cutting me out of her life for good. Why now?”
“She said she is leaving because as Laura gets older…”
“She’ll learn about me…”
Jack was surprised that Bobby was so fast with picking up on everything. Then he wondered if it was something that Bobby suspected and feared. Jack waited for Bobby to continue, but he stayed quiet. “Pup? Say something.”
“Where’s the coffee table?”
“I was trying to figure out how to tell you and I bumped into it. I threw it.”
“How’s your back?”
Jack almost smiled. “The table wasn’t that heavy.”
“Doesn’t she know if I asked you to, you would hire someone to find her?”
“I don’t know what she thinks. Do you want me to?”
“No. Why would I want to chase down someone who doesn’t want me?”
“What about Laura?”
“I hope she never finds about me.”
“Pup…”
“I bet it would be bad enough to know your mother fucked up big time with their first kid…But, to know they would vanish like that…Who knows how she will turn out with a mother like Lureen, but if she finds out…She may hate her or at least not trust her ever again…I know what that’s like…I don’t wish that on anyone.” Bobby stood up.
“Bobby…”
“My life isn’t really changing, much. I have a family and Ma who actually loves me. Lureen can’t take that away from me. I have homework and I’m hungry. Call me when dinner is ready.”
Jack let Bobby walk away even though he didn’t want to. He felt Ennis’ arms move around him. After a few minutes he spoke. “I’ll get us some pizza, you go be a Ma to him.”
“He needs you, Jack.”
“I think he needs his Ma. I think he needs to feel that.”
“Jack…”
“I would, Ennis. If I was him, I would want you. To show myself that I have someone better than Lureen.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to go up?”
“I want to go up, but he needs you. He gave us these roles; we need to play them for him. He’ll need me later.” He felt Ennis’ lips on his cheek.
+++
Ennis knocked on the open door and walked in. Bobby was standing near the window, looking out.
“Where’s he going, Ennis?”
“Pizza.”
“He sent you up here…”
“Bobby…” Ennis watched Bobby turn his head to face him. His eyes were red and his face was still wet. Ennis took a few steps and put his arms around Bobby. He felt Bobby’s head on his shoulder.
“Ma…”
Ennis could feel Bobby’s body shaking as he cried. He hugged him. He listened as Bobby vented. He stroked Bobby’s hair and tried to give him answers, but he couldn’t. Part of him was afraid that Bobby would bring up the time he almost walked away from him.
+++
Jack walked into the house and dumped the pizza on the table. He walked into the living room and saw a fire in the fireplace and heard the air conditioner. He also noticed that there were mattresses on the floor in front of the fire. He heard a creak and turned to see Ennis walking down the stairs. Ennis was carrying sheets and blankets. “Ennis?”
Ennis dropped everything onto the couch and pulled him to the office. “He started talking about how we used to sleep in front of the fireplace. I know it’s part of his regression, but I thought it would make him feel better. Safe.”
“It’s fine, Ennis.”
“I also told him he didn’t have to worry about his homework, I don’t think he’s going to get much sleep tonight or go to school tomorrow.”
Jack sighed, “Ennis…”
“He was asking why it was so easy for people to walk away from him.”
“Shit.”
“He was trying to figure out how long it took us to figure out that we shouldn’t walk away from him. He counted the hours. I have a feeling, even if he doesn’t admit it, he’s hoping that Lureen will come to her senses.”
“Like we did…”
“Like we did. I don’t think he believes she will, but he wants her to.”
“He’s going to wait up all night, isn’t he? Waiting for her to be the mother he needs. I hate her so much.”
“When she doesn’t call…”
“My poor Pup. You’re a good Ma. I just don’t think I can deal with all this.”
“Oh, he’s mad at you for sending me to him because you knew he needed me.”
“That, I can deal with.”
++++
Ennis was right about the long night. Bobby spent much of it watching the fire. Ennis kept hoping that the phone would ring, but it didn’t.
Ennis woke up to a knock on the kitchen door. He woke Bobby and Jack up because he knew they didn’t want to be caught like that. He crawled off the mattress and headed to the kitchen. It was a delivery guy. He was told to drive up and drop off some boxes. Ennis told him to get them. He watched the guy walk away. When he went back into the living room, he could see the mattresses were gone. He didn’t think they had time to drag them upstairs so he wondered where they were. He also wondered where Bobby and Jack were.
It took the man three trips to bring in the six boxes. Ennis had him bring them to the now empty living room. When he signed for them, he could see they were from Lureen. He let the delivery guy use the bathroom and gave him a cold soda can to take with him.
Ennis thanked the man and locked the door after closing it. He glanced at the clock; it was almost 10 am. He walked back into the living room, “Where are you?”
He then saw a mattress moving toward him. He helped them move everything from the den and put it back in front of the fireplace. After they ate breakfast, they opened the boxes. Most of the stuff was old clothes, pictures, toys, artwork and some schoolwork.
Jack told Bobby about each thing as it came out of the box. The baby clothes and his first shoes bronzed were some of the first things they found. Some of the things were things that Bobby had never seen. When they opened the fourth box they found the Koala and the horse that Bobby had given Laura. That’s when Bobby lost it.
Ennis held Jack as Jack held Bobby as Bobby cried. Bobby had said in the early morning hours that at least Laura would have the two stuffed animals. She wouldn’t know who they were from, but she would have that. Now he knew she wouldn’t even have that.
Bobby asked him to open the other boxes to take everything out. Ennis guessed he was hoping for a note. There wasn’t one, just more stuff. When the boxes were empty, he looked at all the stuff on the couches. Ennis picked up the two photo albums and sat next to Bobby on the mattress. They hadn’t looked through them. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea or not. He waited for one of the Twists to make a move.
++++
Jack recognized one of the albums. It was Lureen’s. When they got divorced, they split up the pictures. Jack got most of them, because he had Bobby with him. Lureen had picked her favorites. “That’s your mother’s, I don’t know about that one.”
“It’s Grandma’s. She used to show me pictures of Lureen when she was little and then there were ones of me when I was little. I wonder if she is going with Lureen.”
“If she is giving this away, then I’m guessing she’s leaving. I’m sorry, Pup.”
“Let’s look at hers after.”
+++
Ennis stared at the pictures. He had never seen any of them. They were mostly of Bobby and Lureen. He noticed at the beginning, when Bobby was an infant, Lureen looked the happiest. As Bobby got older, she didn’t have the same look of happiness when she looked at Bobby. He also noticed that by the time Bobby was three, almost all the pictures of the two of them was at her office. The rest were pictures of Bobby alone. Jack would tell them what was going on in the picture because Bobby was too young to remember. There were no pictures of Bobby after the divorce.
Ennis watched Bobby open his grandmother’s album. Some of the pictures were similar to the ones he had seen over the years or in Lureen’s album, but were obviously from a different camera. There were empty spots as if someone took some pictures out. He wondered if she pulled out the pictures without Bobby. His questions were answered when Bobby turned the page and saw a blank area.
“The picture of me driving the tractor is missing. I thought others were, but I know this picture. Grandma would go on and on how it would be wonderful to see me follow in the family business. I was seven in that picture. I wonder if she took it with her.” Bobby flipped through the pages and more empty spots. Bobby threw the album away from them and pressed himself against Jack.
Ennis moved closer to both Twists and held them. He could tell when Bobby fell asleep. He knew Jack did, too because that’s when Jack started to cry.
++++
Jack was surprised when Bobby woke up and pulled away. He said he wanted to shower and go for a ride. He then asked him to put everything away. He didn’t want to see it, but he didn’t want it thrown out.
After Bobby and Ennis left, he packed up and brought it to one of the basement closets. He then went into the kitchen and called Sam. He didn’t know how long he was on the phone, but he was still on the phone when Bobby and Ennis arrived.
When he got off the phone, he knew Bobby was annoyed. “Who’d you tell?”
“I was talking to Sam.”
“You told him? So I can continue to be poor little unloved Bobby to them.”
“They don’t think that. I called because I needed a friend.”
“You shouldn’t tell them everything about me.”
“Bobby, I needed to talk to someone. I ache for you, Bobby, but you weren’t the only one erased, Bobby. I can’t express how terrible I feel about you, but this hurts me, too. You were at my parents’ house. I was scrubbed out of their lives…I know what it’s like to be someone’s dirty little secret.” Jack saw Ennis wince at that. He hadn’t meant to hurt Ennis, but a lot of old feelings have surfaced. “I just needed to vent.”
Bobby moved toward him. “I didn’t think about that. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry, too. Sam’s picking Brenda up at the airport. Don’t be surprised if they show up.”
“I’m going to take a shower and then start my homework. I don’t want to think about Lureen anymore.”
Jack waited until Bobby left the room. “I’m sorry, Ennis. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know.”
“You were my secret, too.”
“I know, Jack.”
“How was the ride?”
“Quiet.”
+++
Ennis watched as Brenda dragged Bobby outside and made him stand on the lawn as she stayed on one of the steps. They were standing face to face. Sam interrupted his thoughts.
“She does that with Ricky.”
“Does what?”
“Stands on a step so they are eye to eye. Bobby’s at least a foot taller than her, she wants to make herself bigger to him.”
“Oh.”
“Let’s let them be. Where did Jack go?”
Sam and Brenda didn’t stay long. Ennis was dying to find out what Brenda said to Bobby, but he wasn’t sure if Bobby would share. He thought Bobby seemed calmer. He wondered if Bobby would blow up at them because he usually did after needed comfort.
Bobby didn’t blow up at them and in fact, quietly requested to be read to. When they got to Bobby’s room, Bobby handed him two children’s books. Bobby curled up against Jack and he read to the two Twists.
+++
A few days later, Bobby came home from Karate and announced that he wasn’t the only person with a shitty parent. As they ate dinner, Bobby told them that he went to talk to his coach when he overheard a conversation between his coach and another gym teacher. One of the football players was having a hard time. No one knew, but a month earlier his father had walked out on the whole family. He had gone shopping with his mom and two younger sisters. His father said he was going stay at home dealing with their backyard fencing. When they came home, his father was gone. Some of his father’s clothes and stuff were gone too. After a few days they found out he cleared out their savings and canceled the credit cards. The school just found out because his mother came in to get them free lunches.
Bobby said he knew this kid had it worse than him. Lureen didn’t leave him in a desperate situation. The mother didn’t have a job, they had no money and they couldn’t pay their bills.
Ennis asked if he knew the kid’s name. Ennis was surprised that he knew the kid. He explained that one of the boy’s sisters was a friend of one Jenny’s camp friends. The girl had never been to their house, but he had picked her up and dropped her off many times.
A few days later, Ennis bumped into boy’s mother at one of the coops. When he got home, he found Jack.
“I talked to Brenda. All those football families know each other. I thought about sending you, but that would be harder to explain how you knew. Anyway, Brenda found a way to bump into her and they started to talk. When she mentioned she was looking for a job, Brenda told her we needed someone.”
“We didn’t need someone.” Ennis replied.
“She doesn’t know that. Her salary isn’t going to break the bank, Ennis. I figured I was giving her a break.”
“That was nice of you.”
“Felt guilty, Ennis. I was kinda happy to hear that Bobby wasn’t they only kid to have a shitty parent. Made him feel not alone. Made me feel like a bad man.”
“You’re a good man, Jack Twist.” Ennis leaned in and kissed him. “Does Bobby know?”
“I told him after I hired her. He seemed pleased with me. At least for the moment.”
tbc
(note: Sadly, this happens more than you think. During grade school and high school I knew of three parents who walked out and disappeared. I was friends with one girl whose father did this to her. She hasn’t heard a word in 30 years. I also know one girl who was kidnapped by one parent for two years.)
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