(no subject)
it's 4.20 am and i'm not awake on purpose. even though i never update this thing, i'm doing it twice in one day. i've lost a lot of weight and i don't/do like it, and it makes me sick. school is going to be stressful these next few weeks. he and i are doing this thing, but it's had some sad consequences, and nothing is forever. i'm just trying to live in the moment, which has always kind of been my policy. enjoy shit while you can because things will never be perfect, except maybe momentarily.
i still can't believe ben's gone, and i think about him a lot. i guess i have a somewhat better idea about who i am now that i'm a quarter century old and i'm all growed up... or something. either way, i always wonder what ben's input would be on most facets of my life. he would be the same age my friend mike is. i'm guessing they may have even crossed paths back in the day, and it's strange because i'm almost positive they would have gotten along. i'm pretty sure everyone everywhere is sick of me lamenting about my brother for the past 5 years, but he was just that awesome. this year was weird because suck day actually was a great day on account of myself, but the weeks leading up to it were hell. i'm going to sleep now and i hope almost everyone has forgotten about this journal because i like that idea. anyone who reads it doesn't play a big role in my life anymore anyhow, and that's ok.
i still can't believe ben's gone, and i think about him a lot. i guess i have a somewhat better idea about who i am now that i'm a quarter century old and i'm all growed up... or something. either way, i always wonder what ben's input would be on most facets of my life. he would be the same age my friend mike is. i'm guessing they may have even crossed paths back in the day, and it's strange because i'm almost positive they would have gotten along. i'm pretty sure everyone everywhere is sick of me lamenting about my brother for the past 5 years, but he was just that awesome. this year was weird because suck day actually was a great day on account of myself, but the weeks leading up to it were hell. i'm going to sleep now and i hope almost everyone has forgotten about this journal because i like that idea. anyone who reads it doesn't play a big role in my life anymore anyhow, and that's ok.