That silly head of mine
Its had me blowing things out of proportion a little.
I think the drunkenness and a particularly bad night for me knee made me think some very very silly things. Thankfully I was smart enough to go 'er, that's stupid, shut the fuck up' to myself. Its very often not a good idea to listen to yourself. I know I can be full of shit, hehe. Meh, I had a lil bit of the self pity thing going on cause my knee exploded or something last night, hehe. It really was quite painful indeed for no good reason. I started to irritate myself though so I tried to pick myself up...with limited success. Ye kna, I did okay...not great, its hard to maintain too much enthusiasm when things hurt rather a lot. Hmm, so yeah, I thought silly things then decided they were silly so I stopped thinking them. Most pointless story ever. It didn't ruin a damn good night though, so that's alright. I think a lot of it is psychological like. I had a few twinges in the Forth which made me think about it, which made it worse and so on. It has to be that partly. it explains why it is so damn random how much pain I'm in with it. My pain also seems to be quite independent of my limp, which I've always thought quite weird! Well, I mean, obviously when its really bad like last night I have a huge limp, but generally I find that I can limp a lot and not be in much pain, and sometimes I'll walk almost normally and be really feeling it. Tis most peculiar. Anyway. I console myself that it'll probably be a long time before it happens to me again. Its actually been very well behaved recently. Basically because I only have to walk as much as I want to, rather than when I used to be on my feet all day when I worked on the shop floor. So yes. I'm going to stop complaining about that right now.
Despite the great fun I had last night I do feel a lil bad about one thing though...but I don't think there's anything I can do about it, so I shall just try to not feel too guilty. I haven't actually done anything wrong after all, and I refuse to let it taint things that make me smile so much.
I've also managed to do something else a little silly. Well, actually it really is just bad luck. There's other ways I could have done things...but they all seemed to leave this end result as being even more likely. So my only real mistake was not noticing, which I can probably forgive myself for. Its the embarrassment factor more than anything I think. I think in a few days I'll probably find the timing of it quite funny. I mean, it can ONLY happen now really. Depends on the reaction I get I suppose, but I don't expect it to be that bad. In fact, I suspect I may be the only one that cares...I hope so!
That all looks very cryptic and like something really important and upsetting has happened to someone...but it hasn't I assure you. Its so trivial you'd all want to throw things at me for complaining about it. I'm just trying to save face I think...which I think makes me a tool...but meh, we're all tools deep down.
I'm still quite tired and stressed today though. I cant wait to do nothing on Sunday though :)
Even my self pity and pointless obsessing cant wipe the smile off my face at the minute!
I think the drunkenness and a particularly bad night for me knee made me think some very very silly things. Thankfully I was smart enough to go 'er, that's stupid, shut the fuck up' to myself. Its very often not a good idea to listen to yourself. I know I can be full of shit, hehe. Meh, I had a lil bit of the self pity thing going on cause my knee exploded or something last night, hehe. It really was quite painful indeed for no good reason. I started to irritate myself though so I tried to pick myself up...with limited success. Ye kna, I did okay...not great, its hard to maintain too much enthusiasm when things hurt rather a lot. Hmm, so yeah, I thought silly things then decided they were silly so I stopped thinking them. Most pointless story ever. It didn't ruin a damn good night though, so that's alright. I think a lot of it is psychological like. I had a few twinges in the Forth which made me think about it, which made it worse and so on. It has to be that partly. it explains why it is so damn random how much pain I'm in with it. My pain also seems to be quite independent of my limp, which I've always thought quite weird! Well, I mean, obviously when its really bad like last night I have a huge limp, but generally I find that I can limp a lot and not be in much pain, and sometimes I'll walk almost normally and be really feeling it. Tis most peculiar. Anyway. I console myself that it'll probably be a long time before it happens to me again. Its actually been very well behaved recently. Basically because I only have to walk as much as I want to, rather than when I used to be on my feet all day when I worked on the shop floor. So yes. I'm going to stop complaining about that right now.
Despite the great fun I had last night I do feel a lil bad about one thing though...but I don't think there's anything I can do about it, so I shall just try to not feel too guilty. I haven't actually done anything wrong after all, and I refuse to let it taint things that make me smile so much.
I've also managed to do something else a little silly. Well, actually it really is just bad luck. There's other ways I could have done things...but they all seemed to leave this end result as being even more likely. So my only real mistake was not noticing, which I can probably forgive myself for. Its the embarrassment factor more than anything I think. I think in a few days I'll probably find the timing of it quite funny. I mean, it can ONLY happen now really. Depends on the reaction I get I suppose, but I don't expect it to be that bad. In fact, I suspect I may be the only one that cares...I hope so!
That all looks very cryptic and like something really important and upsetting has happened to someone...but it hasn't I assure you. Its so trivial you'd all want to throw things at me for complaining about it. I'm just trying to save face I think...which I think makes me a tool...but meh, we're all tools deep down.
I'm still quite tired and stressed today though. I cant wait to do nothing on Sunday though :)
Even my self pity and pointless obsessing cant wipe the smile off my face at the minute!