(no subject)
here's a past entry i edited a bit:
I think you like me, and you think that i like you too.i still do. You've been dropping hints; Unconsciously, i MAY have been too.But right now, I'm just too confused and overwhelmed to think straight. The thought of you being so distant before was what made everything exciting and worth waiting for.you've never been so distant still. I knew how you looked, I heard tons of good things about you.. but you didn't know me.. just imagine the anticipation I had inside. Then, came the unfateful day.. I met you. Yes.. you, Mister High-Almighty. And from then on, the camera started rolling..... wait, can we do a rewind?
Now, everything is just a blur. I think i know what you want; But, as for me, i don't know what the hell I plan to do. A part of me is telling me to hang on, reshoot the scenes and revise the script, there's still a tiny chance.that's wishful thinking for me. But another is telling me that this role is just not right for me YET. it is. it is. i've thought it over.I may not be ready for anything of this sort or maybe its that insatiable parasite inside of me again. BUT, what if i regret all of this?? Another part fears the regret awaiting my decisions. If i let you go, most likely that if I see you with another girl, jealousy will start eating its way through.
Sometimes, I wish i never had to meet you. i hate you for that.Those mere visions of you were enough to give me butterflies and keep me hoping and extremely curious. That way, i would be nothing to you. i am.While you would be the guy that existed merely in my dreams.i dont dream anymore. No more fears of my wanting to say things but holding back because you might assume the opposite. No more fears of getting hurt.. hurting you.. or breaking your heart..i wanna take that risk.
where are you?