Screencap Recap: The River Song Edition
RIVER PICSPAM IS REQUIRED. So let us go on a journey through time and space, back to S4 and up to current.
We first meet River in the Library, which is a big library as the name suggests. Naturally her first line is "Hello, Sweetie." Her bitch The Doctor has come when called via the psychic paper.
But oh noes he does not know her yet! ANGST! Thus begins the Mystery of River Song. WHO CAN SHE BE?
She then OFFENDS fandom by knowing the Doctor's real name, which he seems to think means they are married in his future. That is his main clue, aside from the tightness in his pants.
Then she dies :( :( :( She dies to save the Doctor because she loves him and does not want him to die and unhappen all their sexyfuntiems.
But it is sort of okay except not, for the Doctor "saves" her and puts her in the matrix to be with her dead friends. As you do. It's not creepy at all. Except that it is. I am doing this picspam out of River's own sequence (which is backwards so far) because that way she is not dead at the end of it.
River is alive again! Because she's not dead yet! She sends another message to the Doctor and he comes when called. He comes a lot when River is around, apparently.
She is one awesome womans. I want to be her when I grow up, or marry her, or both if that is legal. Anyway, she airlocks herself after being Fucking Awesome.
Luckily boyfriend has tiem-machine.
And so he catches her with his entire body.
River can fly TARDIS!
Women in combat gear are pretty hawt as long as they are non-combatants. Which River is unless you piss her off and then she basically fucks your shit up.
River also likes girls.
River is in prison before that though. Probably because she killed a man, the bestest man. She escapes with lipstick and does some awesomeness what is not pictured here. Like writing "Hello Sweetie" on the oldest rocks in the universe.
Then she dresses as Cleopatra, for teh luls. And plot. But also for teh luls.
"I'm sorry, my love." NOOOOOOOO, River, you can't die! We already saw you die! It was horrible and sad! You will be okay!
"Honey, I'm home."/"What time do you call this?" River is saaaaved by the Doctor, having been saaaaved by the TARDIS putting her in a time-loop thingy. Basically technobabble, but the point is she is not dead yet.
I SHIP IT SOMEWHAT.
With the Doctor dead it is River's turn to take out a motherfucking Dalek. Okay she has a gun, but it is pretty awesome nonetheless. It is all "you will have mercy" and she is like "fucking look me up, bitch."
Then the Doctor is not dead and River is not dead and he sort of accidentally proposes to her, maybe. She's married, apparently, if we can trust a word she says.
Screencaps provided with the usual rules of "want, take, have."
For more about River Amazing Song, see professor_song! And spoiler_song! And marriedoneday for Teh Ship!
We first meet River in the Library, which is a big library as the name suggests. Naturally her first line is "Hello, Sweetie." Her bitch The Doctor has come when called via the psychic paper.
But oh noes he does not know her yet! ANGST! Thus begins the Mystery of River Song. WHO CAN SHE BE?
She then OFFENDS fandom by knowing the Doctor's real name, which he seems to think means they are married in his future. That is his main clue, aside from the tightness in his pants.
Then she dies :( :( :( She dies to save the Doctor because she loves him and does not want him to die and unhappen all their sexyfuntiems.
But it is sort of okay except not, for the Doctor "saves" her and puts her in the matrix to be with her dead friends. As you do. It's not creepy at all. Except that it is. I am doing this picspam out of River's own sequence (which is backwards so far) because that way she is not dead at the end of it.
River is alive again! Because she's not dead yet! She sends another message to the Doctor and he comes when called. He comes a lot when River is around, apparently.
She is one awesome womans. I want to be her when I grow up, or marry her, or both if that is legal. Anyway, she airlocks herself after being Fucking Awesome.
Luckily boyfriend has tiem-machine.
And so he catches her with his entire body.
River can fly TARDIS!
Women in combat gear are pretty hawt as long as they are non-combatants. Which River is unless you piss her off and then she basically fucks your shit up.
River also likes girls.
River is in prison before that though. Probably because she killed a man, the bestest man. She escapes with lipstick and does some awesomeness what is not pictured here. Like writing "Hello Sweetie" on the oldest rocks in the universe.
Then she dresses as Cleopatra, for teh luls. And plot. But also for teh luls.
"I'm sorry, my love." NOOOOOOOO, River, you can't die! We already saw you die! It was horrible and sad! You will be okay!
"Honey, I'm home."/"What time do you call this?" River is saaaaved by the Doctor, having been saaaaved by the TARDIS putting her in a time-loop thingy. Basically technobabble, but the point is she is not dead yet.
I SHIP IT SOMEWHAT.
With the Doctor dead it is River's turn to take out a motherfucking Dalek. Okay she has a gun, but it is pretty awesome nonetheless. It is all "you will have mercy" and she is like "fucking look me up, bitch."
Then the Doctor is not dead and River is not dead and he sort of accidentally proposes to her, maybe. She's married, apparently, if we can trust a word she says.
Screencaps provided with the usual rules of "want, take, have."
For more about River Amazing Song, see professor_song! And spoiler_song! And marriedoneday for Teh Ship!