Finally the porn. First was
By Faith Alone, and then
Sola Gratia and then there is this one which is much less angsty. Now it is done!
Title: Advantage Miss Noble
Pairing: Doctor/Donna
Rating: R for sex and stuff
Warnings: Het sex, drunkenness, alien/human sexualness
Notes: Thanks to all that helped at the beta stage *kissface*
The Doctor sniffed his glass suspiciously and leaned towards her. "Donna, are you feeling alright?"
"Never felt better," she said. "Why?"
"I feel... weird." He said the last word very carefully as though it were complex and rare.
"Weird how?"
He shifted in his seat. "Things are a bit blurry and I want to dance."
She moved the bottle of alien wine away from him. "I think you've had enough."
"I've only had one g... one glass!"
She put down her own glass. "Is it poison? Should I do the Heimlich maneuver?
"That's not for poison!" People turned to look at them. Ignoring the attention he carried on. "I feel drunk. This stuff must be intoxi...cating for Time Lords." He was swaying ever so slightly.
"So you are drunk then?"
"I suppose." He was staring at her with dark eyes. He swallowed, Adam's apple bobbing nervously. "Let's go back to the TARDIS before I fall over and start singing obscene songs about Rassilon's Rod."
"Is that likely?"
"A bit. I think it's getting worse."
He took her hand - for contact or possible to stay upright - and stood up. He spilled some money from his pocket onto the table and started pulling her from the restaurant.
The Doctor dropped his TARDIS key into the grass and bent to pick it up. Donna stopped him falling over and produced her own key from between her breasts. She opened the door and gently guided him in, hoping that being in the TARDIS might magically make him sober again.
He may scheme and manipulate across the galaxies, but she still had to carry him home when he was pissed.
"I think you should sleep it off," she said, as he starting singing something about someone called Omega who had big hands.
"I'll make an antidote," he said, falling against the console.
"In this state? I don't think you could make a cup of tea like this."
"Yeah, I could! Hot water, sugar, sausages... what else goes in tea?"
Donna led him along the corridors and opened the door to his bedroom, half-dragging him in.
"You have to lock me up," he said, "in case I try something. You know, something sexual. With you."
She patted his arm. "You can barely stand up, sweetheart."
"Oh."
She helped him take off his jacket and tie and got him out of his trainers when he failed to remember how knots worked.
"Right, you get some sleep," she said, lifting his feet and helping him get settled on the bed. "Do you want the light off?"
"Don't go," he said, doing the little-boy eyes like the manipulative git he was.
Donna sighed. "I'll get a book and read by the bed until you go to sleep."
"What if I wake up in the night?"
"For God's sake, Doctor, I'm not your mother!"
"She was a ginger," he said, surprising Donna by voluntarily revealing anything about his past whatsoever.
"Wow, you really must be drunk."
He patted the space beside him on the bed. "Sleep here."
Donna hesitated. They'd only slept together a few times since Satris, and never with one of them pissed. "What if you throw up on me?" she said, stalling for time.
"I promise I won't."
"And don't expel your stomach either."
"That's sharks you're thinking of. Or cats. Is it cats?"
She sighed and kicked her shoes off. "Fine. But I mean it about not being sick on me." He wasn't going to try anything, and she certainly wasn't going to go along with it if he did. She could handle this. Donna lay down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.
The Doctor squirmed closer to her and stared at her. "You're so nice," he said, "like a banana."
"Thanks," she said, because what were you supposed to say to something like that?
"You're a human banana."
"No one's ever said that to me before."
"Well, I mean it. I really mean it."
"Hey," said Donna, "do you remember that time you were doing those shots of jelly and then you passed out on the floor muttering about having sex with the TARDIS?"
Usually it turned him bright red, but this time he just nodded. "She's very beautiful."
"Like a banana?"
"More than a banana. A whole tree of bananas. Maybe even a fruit salad."
It was bloody tempting to use this as an opportunity to discover all his shaming secrets. He wouldn't do that to her, though, he'd just make her a hangover cure for breakfast and then pretend the whole thing never happened.
He really was quite sweet sometimes.
"One banana, two banana, three banana, four -" he sang.
"Who told you you could sing?"
"Maria Callas," he said, smugly. "Course, I was in a different body at the time. Much stronger vocal cords. I used to be able to break glass with my high notes." He squeaked, presumably trying to recreate the trick.
Donna slapped a hand over his mouth. "How are you meant to sleep if you keep talking?"
He moved her hand and then held it, turning it this way and that. "You have really nice skin."
"You have... skin," she said, not quite wanting to lie. His ego was big enough as it was.
"Can I hug you?"
"Course you can." She opened her arms and let him drape himself more or less into a hug. Hugging was fine, hugging was safe.
"This is nice," he said. "I like hugging people."
"I've noticed."
"Do you think I do it too much?"
"Not if it makes you happy."She became aware of a pressure against her. "Doctor?"
"Yeah?"
"Where's your sonic screwdriver?" She was pretty sure she already knew the answer.
"Jacket pocket, why?"
Right. "So... you're hard."
He sighed into her hair. "Yeah."
"I'm going to stop hugging you now, alright?"
"Okay," he said sadly.
She disentangled herself carefully and let him fall back against the pillows, before turning onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. Bloody hell.
She knew he hadn't wanted what had happened to them, but had he wanted her?
"You don't usually... I mean, we've been in bed together loads of times and your... Timelordhood didn't make an appearance."
"Timelordhood?" He giggled.
"You want to have drunken sex with someone, don't you?"
"How about it?" he asked, propping himself up on one elbow.
"What about River?" she tried, hoping to distract him from his sudden interest in her.
"Your breasts are nicer than hers."
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's me seduced."
"But Donna, I love you so much." There was an urgency in his voice and in his expression.
"I know you do."
"Like in song and film. I want to marry you and be with you forever."
He what? "Woah there, spaceman."
"What?"
"Did you just say you're in love with me?" This was getting a bit out of hand after all.
"Might have." He was going coy again.
"That's right," she said, "go back to your usual silence on emotional matters."
"Chicks dig that," he said with a knowledgable nod.
"Your feminism's slipping."
"Women. I meant women. Strong, confident women who I admire."
"Over-compensating now," she smiled.
"Virginia said it was okay for me to sleep with women as long as I still respected them in the morning. Or something like that. I think she said it better."
"Is she one of your exes?"
"If only," he sighed.
Donna lay silently, trying to decide if she should go before something inevitably happened that she'd regret.
"I'm going to kiss you now," the Doctor announced.
"Detox?" she asked, semi-hopefully.
"Because I want to. Your lips are like cherry... things. Cherries. Red cherries."
"That's my lipstick."
He frowned slightly. "It's not L'Oreal, is it?"
"It's just Boots' own brand."
"I can't remember how evil they are offhand."
"It says it isn't tested on animals."
"Good." He leaned over her, closing his eyes. Donna licked her lips. She might as well. He was cute, in a gangly sort of way, and it was only kissing.
He kissed her, not exactly expertly, but eagerly and carefully.
They looked at each other for a long silent moment.
"You don't taste of bananas," he said finally.
"Disappointed?" she managed.
"Who wouldn't be? But you do taste of Donna, and that's almost as good." He looked down her body. "Maybe other bits of you taste of bananas."
God, it was tempting. She's thought about it, she'd seen him lick bits of the TARDIS suggestively and wondered what his tongue would feel like between her legs. But he was off his face right now, it wouldn't be right. "No," she said.
"Okay," he said, failing to hide his disappointment. He moved onto his back and yawned. "Are we going to have sex?"
Neglected parts of Donna were keen on the idea, but her brain won in the end. "No. We're going to lie here as best friends and you're going to sleep off whatever that stuff was."
"We should have brought some back with us," he said.
"What, so I could get a laugh every Saturday night?"
"So we could alanise it. Analyse."
"Oh. Yeah, that might have been an idea."
"I'm going to sleep now."
"You do that."
"Goodnight, my flame-haired, cherry-lipped..."
Donna glanced over and saw him laying with his eyes shut and his mouth slightly open. Sighing, she picked up a blanket from the edge of the bed and laid it over them.
She woke up with his arm around her and his head on her shoulder. She moved him gently onto his back and tried to straighten her clothes a bit.
"Donna."
She turned to see him opening his eyes in a series of pained blinks. "Doctor."
"This is where you hit me for what I said last night, isn't it?" She could see the tension as he waited for the slap.
Donna shrugged. "It's okay, I know you didn't mean any of it."
"But I did," he said with surprising honesty. "Well, maybe not the part about you being a human banana. But I meant it about... my feelings."
Her stomach jumped. "You don't have to lie, I know I'm not your type," she said, as casually as she could.
"I didn't lie, I... what do you mean 'my type'?"
"You know, younger women."
He stared at her like she'd just said something stupid. "Donna, you are a younger woman. At my age there aren't that many older women."
"Younger than me, I mean."
"River?"
"She's younger sometimes."
"Donna!" He ruffled his hair in frustration.
"I'm only saying."
"You're not going to put me off. I've accepted that I'm in love with you, I've told you about it, and I'm not going to back down now that it's out in the open."
Donna looked at him. "You know, you're quite cute when you're being determined."
"Really?" He smiled at her. "Thanks." His expression changed to something more serious. "I never asked about how you feel. About me."
Shit. "You're my best friend."
His face fell. "Oh."
She relented. "And I have thought about it, but after what happened on Satris I really don't know if we could. You know. Do anything." She changed the subject hurriedly. "Besides, you've got a girlfriend."
"She's not... I suppose she is. It's complicated."
"And loud," she added, keen to keep the upper hand in this conversation.
He blushed. "She wouldn't mind. She's seeing other people as well, you know. It's not what you'd call exclusive."
"I'd mind," said Donna.
"So you are interested?" he asked, jumping on her admission.
"I'm aware of our sexual tension," she said carefully. "But I'm not that good at sharing."
"Part of being with a Time Lord," he said, obviously not wanting to compromise.
"Can't we just be friends? Friends who maybe sometimes... you know, help each other out."
"Help each other how?" He looked hopeful and scared at the same time.
She felt herself blush. "You know. Helping. We're both adults, we both have needs."
"I suppose I should thank you for not taking advantage when I was in a weakened state."
She shrugged like it was nothing. "You wouldn't have."
"Still, thanks."
"I think it might be nice," she said, voicing what had been worrying away at her, "if we could do it because we wanted to. Not because aliens made us do it."
"Healing through sex, you mean?" He looked concerned. "Donna, I don't think it works like that."
"I just want a better memory of us together like that, that's all."
"I suppose that makes sense."
"We can at least try. Please?"
"I don't want to make it any worse, that's all."
"You won't," said Donna. "We've got past the worse of it, I think we deserve something nice after all that."
He looked at her, thinking it over. Then he kissed her.
And it was nice, much better than drunken or detox kisses. Donna parted her lips to let him explore a bit, enjoying what she'd later describe as 'that weird alien tongue thing' and tasting something not quite human.
He shifted onto her as they kissed, her fingers running through his always-needing-cut hair. He pulled away and looked down at her and she felt herself tense slightly.
"We don't have to if you don't -"
"I do want to," she said. "It's just... last time we were like this we had an audience."
He placed a hand on her cheek. "It's just us Donna. Just you and me."
Donna relaxed under him and nodded. "Bloody aliens." He raised his eyebrows and she added "No offence."
"None taken." He pressed his lips to the swell of her breasts above her top.
"What else can you do with that mouth of yours?" she asked, suddenly bold. If she was going to do this she was going to get the most out of it.
The Doctor smiled against her skin and slipped a hand beneath her top. "A demonstration requires a bit more skin showing. All of it, for preference."
Donna felt the heat between them rising as they worked their way out of their clothes. She was already moist when he moved down and parted her legs.
"I've always liked gingers," he said, playing with the curls that covered her cunt and started down the insides of her thighs.
"I don't need a running commentary," she said, pointedly nudging his head with her leg.
He wasn't shy about it, she had to give him that. Some of her boyfriends hadn't liked going near it, but he was enthusiastic and admittedly almost as good as he probably thought he was. When she came he looked up at her with wet skin and a twinkle in his eye and said "It doesn't taste of bananas."
"What does it taste of?" she managed between gasping breaths.
"Donna."
"And what does Donna taste of?"
"The opposite of bananas, but good," he said, scrambling back up her body.
"Thanks, I suppose."
He put his weight on one arm and looked down at her, lips glistening with the opposite of bananas. "We can stop now, if you want."
Donna responded by lifting her hips and capturing him with her legs. "Don't you dare stop."
He nodded and with a hand between them slid into her frustratingly slowly. Donna listened to his sighs and gasps, something she hadn't heard the last time. When he was finally in he held himself still, shaking slightly.
"What are you doing?"
"Letting you get used to it."
Donna punched him lightly on the arm. "It's not that big, you arrogant git."
"That's not what I meant!"
"Have you forgotten how to do it?"
He answered her with a smile and a slow thrust. "Like that, isn't it?"
"More or less."
He grinned at her and pulled them over until she was straddling him. "Since you know how it works," he said.
She did know, and he knew, and all things considered it was pretty damn good.
THE END.