thoughts
There is a blog that I stumbled across at some point in the last few years that caught my eye. It was authored by a woman in the midst divorcing her husband and entering into a same-sex relationship. I found the circumstances very intriguing, I couldn't say why...ahem.
Recently she posted an entry that I didn't entirely respect where she bemoaned over different "groups" "within" the lesbian community that rub her the wrong way, so to speak.
Somehow, taken alone, I could swallow the entry in light of the fact that this is an individual expressing her opinions, perhaps venting a little, and there's always the "if you don't like it then don't read it" aspect of this whole blogging phenomenon. However, reading her comment section riled me up a little.
In response to a complaint about what she labeled as "Lesbians With Aliments" (you know I love the labels) somebody said:
"When I ask, 'How are you?' I wanna hear, 'Fine, thanks,' and that's ALL I wanna hear!"
I realize that this is a deeply ingrained social nicety that is drilled into us from the moment daddy got a sparkle in his eye. However, as a socially anxious person who has fallen victim to the misperceived notion that somebody might actually give a shit about how I, as a fellow human being, might be doing, I think it's sad. I'd rather have a "YO" with a jutting of the chin than an insincere inquiry as to my state of being. To date, I still have a hard time finding the "Fine, thanks. And you?" reflex and I can often be found letting that extra beat pass while I evaluate the surrounding situation and the specific individual that is asking - in order to properly gauge my response. It's not that I have all kinds of drama that I'm anxious to spill out to anybody who will listen, I just think it's a silly norm. This person's emphasis about what they do or do not want to hear just makes me want to say "then don't bother asking."
Another comment that jarred me was this:
"Can I add a complaint toooo? I hate this "new" breed of "NONGENDERED" people- you know, women who pack fake penises, deliberately try to look more like men than women, and lure gay men or other women into sexual situations just to 'spring' it on them that they've been fooled- or just strut around pretending anyone is fooled... they like to call themselves "the third gender"... I think it's gross. If there WAS a third gender, it should be androgynous and SEX-AY... not... Pat."
The first thing that caught me was the use of the word hate. I'm not a big advocate of censorship or the seven bad words you can't say on TV (isn't it down to five now?) or anything like that...but this is a powerful word, and when applied to a group of people at large...leans towards prejudice and stereotyping.
To be clear, I don't support anybody who is misrepresenting themselves to somebody on pretty much any level, but if a female wants to stuff her jock or a man wants to stuff his bra...I'm not one to judge. I mean, it's just another accessory if you think about it. Maybe at some point it'll be the new rage and all the kids will be doing it and conservative parents will have something new to shake their fists about. Wouldn't that be something? Better than the hoochie/pimp at age 8 trend that's happening now, if you ask me.
Every now and then something like this comes along to remind me exactly how idealistic my thought pattern can be. No, we can't all just get along. And no, you can't please everybody all the time. And yes, there will always be people who aren't happy unless they're finding fault with everybody else around them in the classic manner of "the further I can push you down, the higher I can try to convince myself that I am."
There are a lot of people in the world. Chances are I've probably offended somebody by talking about what offended me. How to proceed?
Recently she posted an entry that I didn't entirely respect where she bemoaned over different "groups" "within" the lesbian community that rub her the wrong way, so to speak.
Somehow, taken alone, I could swallow the entry in light of the fact that this is an individual expressing her opinions, perhaps venting a little, and there's always the "if you don't like it then don't read it" aspect of this whole blogging phenomenon. However, reading her comment section riled me up a little.
In response to a complaint about what she labeled as "Lesbians With Aliments" (you know I love the labels) somebody said:
"When I ask, 'How are you?' I wanna hear, 'Fine, thanks,' and that's ALL I wanna hear!"
I realize that this is a deeply ingrained social nicety that is drilled into us from the moment daddy got a sparkle in his eye. However, as a socially anxious person who has fallen victim to the misperceived notion that somebody might actually give a shit about how I, as a fellow human being, might be doing, I think it's sad. I'd rather have a "YO" with a jutting of the chin than an insincere inquiry as to my state of being. To date, I still have a hard time finding the "Fine, thanks. And you?" reflex and I can often be found letting that extra beat pass while I evaluate the surrounding situation and the specific individual that is asking - in order to properly gauge my response. It's not that I have all kinds of drama that I'm anxious to spill out to anybody who will listen, I just think it's a silly norm. This person's emphasis about what they do or do not want to hear just makes me want to say "then don't bother asking."
Another comment that jarred me was this:
"Can I add a complaint toooo? I hate this "new" breed of "NONGENDERED" people- you know, women who pack fake penises, deliberately try to look more like men than women, and lure gay men or other women into sexual situations just to 'spring' it on them that they've been fooled- or just strut around pretending anyone is fooled... they like to call themselves "the third gender"... I think it's gross. If there WAS a third gender, it should be androgynous and SEX-AY... not... Pat."
The first thing that caught me was the use of the word hate. I'm not a big advocate of censorship or the seven bad words you can't say on TV (isn't it down to five now?) or anything like that...but this is a powerful word, and when applied to a group of people at large...leans towards prejudice and stereotyping.
To be clear, I don't support anybody who is misrepresenting themselves to somebody on pretty much any level, but if a female wants to stuff her jock or a man wants to stuff his bra...I'm not one to judge. I mean, it's just another accessory if you think about it. Maybe at some point it'll be the new rage and all the kids will be doing it and conservative parents will have something new to shake their fists about. Wouldn't that be something? Better than the hoochie/pimp at age 8 trend that's happening now, if you ask me.
Every now and then something like this comes along to remind me exactly how idealistic my thought pattern can be. No, we can't all just get along. And no, you can't please everybody all the time. And yes, there will always be people who aren't happy unless they're finding fault with everybody else around them in the classic manner of "the further I can push you down, the higher I can try to convince myself that I am."
There are a lot of people in the world. Chances are I've probably offended somebody by talking about what offended me. How to proceed?