My adult conversation with Brad - UPDATED
The background: My roommate shows zero respect for us. He's had the garage for his own personal use for 2 years now, no one has challenged it. I had a bike that I kept in there - kept asking him to please close the garage when he left so no one would steal it. He refused to close the garage, ever. He did once, the first time I asked. Then stopped. I reminded him nicely, politely, respectfully, and he kept refusing to do it. In a very passive aggressive way. No response to my requests - he just wouldn't do it. My bike got stolen. ($400)
I got a new bike ($400), I keep it in the garage. I figured he'd DEFINITELY have to close the thing when he leaves now - the last bike got stolen! A little courtesy perhaps. He still refuses to do it, in the same way - doesn't talk to me, just doesn't do it. I've begged him to, I've asked him nicely, last thing I said about it was that if he refused to do me that single little tiny respect, then maybe we should all get to use the garage because him having it all for himself was just a respectful thing from us to him. So tonight I decided to park my car in the garage.
Here's the text conversation that followed this. I want to say here that while it might seem like a dick move, there is a storm coming in, he's not here, and the storm is gonna have hail. And again - we all pay equal rent, and we all live here. He also doesn't do anything else to help around the house (trash, dishes, cleaning up, etc.), Casey and I do everything, including his dishes and cleaning up his messes.
Me: Hey man. Just a heads up. I am puttin my car in the garage. Storm comin in like the last one.
Brad: Well have it out when I come home
Me: I dunno man. I think we ought to start sharin using the garage. We all pay for the house.
Brad: Uh no, wait ur turn. Just cuz im gone doesn't mean u can decide to take it over conveniently when a storms coming
Me: Wait my turn? You have had it for a year. It is not to stick you out in the storm. But I think its perfectly fair to share it.
Brad: Start sharing it when I move out, I cleaned it out u didn't. I was here before u so deal with it.
Me: Well we all pay equally and you have had it all this time. We can talk to Casey if you want but I am sure he will back me up on this. It's only fair.
Brad: His opinion means shit, wait a month then do whatever. U have 'waited' this long another month won't kill u. Ur just bein a dick on purpose
Me: What reason have you given me to want to offer you respect by letting you have the garage for yourself, man.
Brad: Letting me?? Thanks so much. Fuck u and quit bein a bitch.
Me: You have no more right to it than we do. We all pay rent. So yes... we have been letting you have it to yourself. This is not YOUR house. it is all of ours.
Brad: Uh no, did u clean it out and make it usable? No u didn't so wait a month and quit being a bitch.
Me: I was not even living here at the time. But it is still not YOUR garage. It is all of ours. There was no agreement about who uses it. So I think we should all share it.
Brad: All ur doin is trying to start shit
Me: I am really not, man. We have been respectful to you so far. You have proven you won't be in return. So why would I wanna keep it up?
Brad: Uh no, u move in so I have to do what u say? It don't work that way
Me: You don't have to do what I say. We should all decide. We all pay rent. Again... we can talk to Casey if you want.
Brad: No I don't care ur just bein a dick keep ur whinny mouth shut and wait a month
Me: Really man? You need to learn to have a conversation like an adult and not just throw a fit when you don't get your way.
Brad: U need to realize that just cuz u say u want something, conveniently a month before I move out, doesn't mean u get it
Brad: Ur one to talk. Before u say ur doing something... Then talk, try talking then decide if ur gonna do it. Don't just text me and say ur doing, tuff.
***UPDATE***
I didn't respond for about half an hour, as he refused to talk like an adult. Then I spelled out the fact that he doesn't do anything around the house to help - dishes, trash, etc. Wouldn't even do me that courtesy of closing the garage door. But then I said, again still nicely, that I didn't care too much about parking in the garage so if he was willing to promise me he'd keep it closed when he wasn't taking his car in/out, I wouldn't give him any problem with having it to himself. "Does that sound like a fair compromise to you?" was my last text to him.
He didn't respond, but he did come home this morning and park behind Casey in the driveway, blocking both him and me in, then leave in his van to go to work. Casey has to go into work at 3, but can't get his car out now. I ride my bike to work, so it's no real sweat for me, but I had planned to move my car out of the garage this morning (as I really just wanted to get it out of the storm). Can't do that now. It was my intention to let him have it, then if he left it open, park in there again, per the agreement I offered (which seems perfectly fair to me).
My roommate is a passive-aggressive asshole.
I got a new bike ($400), I keep it in the garage. I figured he'd DEFINITELY have to close the thing when he leaves now - the last bike got stolen! A little courtesy perhaps. He still refuses to do it, in the same way - doesn't talk to me, just doesn't do it. I've begged him to, I've asked him nicely, last thing I said about it was that if he refused to do me that single little tiny respect, then maybe we should all get to use the garage because him having it all for himself was just a respectful thing from us to him. So tonight I decided to park my car in the garage.
Here's the text conversation that followed this. I want to say here that while it might seem like a dick move, there is a storm coming in, he's not here, and the storm is gonna have hail. And again - we all pay equal rent, and we all live here. He also doesn't do anything else to help around the house (trash, dishes, cleaning up, etc.), Casey and I do everything, including his dishes and cleaning up his messes.
Me: Hey man. Just a heads up. I am puttin my car in the garage. Storm comin in like the last one.
Brad: Well have it out when I come home
Me: I dunno man. I think we ought to start sharin using the garage. We all pay for the house.
Brad: Uh no, wait ur turn. Just cuz im gone doesn't mean u can decide to take it over conveniently when a storms coming
Me: Wait my turn? You have had it for a year. It is not to stick you out in the storm. But I think its perfectly fair to share it.
Brad: Start sharing it when I move out, I cleaned it out u didn't. I was here before u so deal with it.
Me: Well we all pay equally and you have had it all this time. We can talk to Casey if you want but I am sure he will back me up on this. It's only fair.
Brad: His opinion means shit, wait a month then do whatever. U have 'waited' this long another month won't kill u. Ur just bein a dick on purpose
Me: What reason have you given me to want to offer you respect by letting you have the garage for yourself, man.
Brad: Letting me?? Thanks so much. Fuck u and quit bein a bitch.
Me: You have no more right to it than we do. We all pay rent. So yes... we have been letting you have it to yourself. This is not YOUR house. it is all of ours.
Brad: Uh no, did u clean it out and make it usable? No u didn't so wait a month and quit being a bitch.
Me: I was not even living here at the time. But it is still not YOUR garage. It is all of ours. There was no agreement about who uses it. So I think we should all share it.
Brad: All ur doin is trying to start shit
Me: I am really not, man. We have been respectful to you so far. You have proven you won't be in return. So why would I wanna keep it up?
Brad: Uh no, u move in so I have to do what u say? It don't work that way
Me: You don't have to do what I say. We should all decide. We all pay rent. Again... we can talk to Casey if you want.
Brad: No I don't care ur just bein a dick keep ur whinny mouth shut and wait a month
Me: Really man? You need to learn to have a conversation like an adult and not just throw a fit when you don't get your way.
Brad: U need to realize that just cuz u say u want something, conveniently a month before I move out, doesn't mean u get it
Brad: Ur one to talk. Before u say ur doing something... Then talk, try talking then decide if ur gonna do it. Don't just text me and say ur doing, tuff.
***UPDATE***
I didn't respond for about half an hour, as he refused to talk like an adult. Then I spelled out the fact that he doesn't do anything around the house to help - dishes, trash, etc. Wouldn't even do me that courtesy of closing the garage door. But then I said, again still nicely, that I didn't care too much about parking in the garage so if he was willing to promise me he'd keep it closed when he wasn't taking his car in/out, I wouldn't give him any problem with having it to himself. "Does that sound like a fair compromise to you?" was my last text to him.
He didn't respond, but he did come home this morning and park behind Casey in the driveway, blocking both him and me in, then leave in his van to go to work. Casey has to go into work at 3, but can't get his car out now. I ride my bike to work, so it's no real sweat for me, but I had planned to move my car out of the garage this morning (as I really just wanted to get it out of the storm). Can't do that now. It was my intention to let him have it, then if he left it open, park in there again, per the agreement I offered (which seems perfectly fair to me).
My roommate is a passive-aggressive asshole.