Shite
I seriously feel like I have been beaten reapeatedly with baseball bats and left for dead. I want to curl ulp and die, but no such luck. Instead I am severly medicated and I just want my life and my body to go back to normal. I hate hurting and fighting with er traffic and taking a million pills a day and Olen worrying about me and how to help make me feel better, because there's nothing to do and it makes him feel helpless. I hate him being unhappy, and he's sad when I'm sick. Not to mention, i'm a total grouchy psycho bitch, and I have serious PMS to add onto my cold and my back and my siataca and I really just want to die. My mom and I talked about some really great stuff today...she's seriously the coolest person ever. My dad is getting to be pretty great, too. And Olen's dad is my new religious conversation buddy...he helps me when other people use faith as an escape from giving me an answer. He's really great with answering my questions and he really tries. I'm glad to have him for the subject. Valentine's day is coming up, and I don't know what to do for Olen...he's a fucking miracle, and I want to find a really great way to show him all the means to me. Which is everything. Without him or my parents, I'd be lost and lonely on this earth. Sometimes I still am, but they really help. Oh, and for anyone who is seriously feeling shitty from a cold or flu, pomagranate juice is the shit...i took a small glass of it, and felt really better right away. Albeit, it's not a miracle cure, but it really makes you feel alot better. I'm going to go try to sleep...Haha! all this medication, and I'm still not able to get a decent night's sleep. Oh well...I'll just cuddle with my super hero. His arms just seem to help somehow. Respect.