not directed at anyone in particular, just something I've needed to say for awhile
a) I do not know whether I'm going to [party/con/event] in advance. Really, I just don't. I've tried to arrange things so I can make such decisions at the latest possible minute, because making them earlier doesn't actually help. Once I'm in the car, I will *probably* get there, but even at that point I don't promise to make it. So, I don't know. A month in advance, a week, a day, most of the time even an hour: I don't know. For the foreseeable future, that's the only answer you will get, because it's the only one I have.
b) Thinking about potential travel leads to anxiety and makes me feel pressured. *I am not blaming anyone for this*. I'm saying it because I haven't made (most) people aware of the level to which this is true, and it's an important thing for my friends to know about me. The more I think about a possible trip, the more I make myself crazy, and the less capable I feel of actually leaving my house.
So please don't ask; you won't get any information and my ability to go will take a point of damage. I know it's a common thing to ask, and sometimes people will forget that I've made this request, and that's OK. But people can't know this stuff if I don't tell them, so there it is.
[note for clarity: making invitations, offering help, giving information, etc. is not the same as asking if I will be somewhere]
b) Thinking about potential travel leads to anxiety and makes me feel pressured. *I am not blaming anyone for this*. I'm saying it because I haven't made (most) people aware of the level to which this is true, and it's an important thing for my friends to know about me. The more I think about a possible trip, the more I make myself crazy, and the less capable I feel of actually leaving my house.
So please don't ask; you won't get any information and my ability to go will take a point of damage. I know it's a common thing to ask, and sometimes people will forget that I've made this request, and that's OK. But people can't know this stuff if I don't tell them, so there it is.
[note for clarity: making invitations, offering help, giving information, etc. is not the same as asking if I will be somewhere]