[fic] Bloody Torchwood (14/18)
Title: Bloody Torchwood (14/18)
Author: noscrubs12345
sirius100 Prompt: Variations on Reality (original)
Pairings: Remus/Sirius, Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13/T
Summary: Sirius Black knew there was something he didn't like about Cardiff. He just didn't expect it to be a rift in time and space. But, once taken, will he be able to make it back to the wizarding world? Or will he be stuck with bloody Torchwood if his friends don't find him first? And what does a mysterious blonde woman have to do with the strange blue box hidden inside the Department of Mysteries?
Warnings: spoilers through Torchwood series two and Doctor Who series four
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, Russell T Davies, the BBC, various publishers, including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended and no money is being made.
Notes: I apologise, again, for the delay in posting. I've been rather distracted lately by a particularly rabid LotR plot bunny....
Missed the beginning?: Part I || Part II || Part III || Part IV || Part V || Part VI || Part VII || Part VIII || Part IX || Part X || Part XI || Part XII || Part XIII
or
Bloody Torchwood @ AO3
When he Apparated into his mother’s garden, a brisk breeze was starting to rustle at the leaves. On it was the cloying scent of the roses she lovingly grew mixed with the salty tang of the air coming in off the bay.
Remus sighed, his heart heavy, and looked around the garden. It was as he left it two days before-gardening tools strewn haphazardly, an abandoned tea cup sitting alone on the small wicker table, and the pink roses still in desperate need of pruning. He could see the light from the kitchen spilling through the window, illuminating the plants below with a soft golden glow.
“Mam?” he called as he entered through the back door, the warmth of the house and the comforting aroma of shortbread washing over him.
“Kitchen!” she called back, her soft, lilting voice a calming balm.
Remus smiled to himself as he felt a bit of the weight he’d been carrying since Sirius’s disappearance lessen as he shrugged off his cloak. He tossed it over the back of the well-worn settee and kicked off his boots before he crossed the small room to the kitchen. Anwen Lupin was standing by the cooker, her greying golden-brown hair spilling from its ponytail and her apron clinging to her full hips. She looked up when Remus walked in and gave him a tired, wan smile.
“Hi, Mam,” Remus said quietly and stuffed his hands into his pockets, not meeting her eyes.
He looked up through his lashes when she sighed deeply. “Come here, cariad,” she said and held her arms out to him.
Remus was across the room in an instant. He took in a deep, shuddering breath of her perfume as her arms pulled him into a tight embrace. He rested his head on top of hers, the coconut of her shampoo filling his nostrils and reminding him of his childhood. He clung to her like he was a five again until she pulled back to kiss to his cheek.
“Mam!” he whinged, pretending to wipe at the spot she had just pressed her lips to. He smiled feebly as she giggled and wiped at the spot with her thumb. He turned his head into her hand, eyes slipping closed and missing the pained look that crossed her delicate features.
“How are you, Remus? Really?” she asked, feathering his fringe with her fingers.
“I’ve been better,” Remus said, sighing. “And you?”
“Just glad your auntie Lyneth is gone,” Anwen said and pulled a face.
“That bad?” Remus chuckled and let his mother lead him to the table. He ran a hand through his hair as he sat down.
“Ergh. The woman is a menace. I can hardly believe we’re related,” she said, throwing her hands up. “I mean, is it possible we have the same parents? Could it be she was left with mine by y tylwyth teg?”
Remus laughed half-heartedly. “What’d she do this time?”
Anwen grumbled under her breath as she checked on the biscuits in the oven. “It seems I’m looking like a cow these days,” she called as she gingerly grabbed the tray with a tea towel. She quickly set the biscuits on top of the hob and switched the oven off. “And she’s the one that’s put on the weight. She looks like she’s about to drop twins.”
“She can’t have been that bad,” Remus chided and tried to hide a smirk.
“You know how she is, always patronising her little sister,” Anwen said and flicked the kettle on. “Would you like a cup, cariad?”
“Yes, please,” Remus said and cleared his throat. “Has she shaved that beard of hers?”
Anwen chortled and pointed at her son. “Don’t you start too.”
“What? She does have one,” Remus teased, watching as she pulled down two mugs and added tea bags to them.
Anwen tried to stifle a laugh but failed. “I do believe the proper term you’re looking for is ‘five-o-clock shadow.’”
Remus chuckled before sobering and looked down at his hands. “What would you do without her?”
“Oh,” Anwen said, rummaging around the cupboards for a plate. “I wouldn’t have anyone to complain about, would I? Especially now with your father gone....”
She stilled as her shaking hand closed around a plate and Remus stared at her back. Eventually she huffed out a breath and straightened, pulling the plate down.
Remus smiled sadly as she whispered, “Daft sod,” and moved back to the hob.
“I miss him too, Mam,” Remus said, watching her quickly, gingerly flick the warm biscuits onto the plate.
“I know,” she whispered, stilling for a moment. “Sometimes I worry about you, Remus. With what you and your friends are out there doing--”
“It’s worth it.”
“I know,” she said soberly, never blinking or looking away as she sat the plate down with a dull thunk. “But I still worry. I’m your mam. It’s my job.”
Remus said, looking away, “But after what happened to Tad-“
“Don’t you go blaming yourself,” Anwen chided as the kettle boiled. “He was a hero.”
“It was an ambush,” Remus said bitterly. “I should have been out there that night with the rest of the Order, not back at headquarters.”
“Remus John Lupin,” Anwen said tersely and reached across the table to squeeze his hand. “It. Was not. Your fault. He died doing his duty. Everyone we know has lost someone. It was only a matter of time before it was one of ours. I just hoped it wouldn’t have been so soon.” She cleared her throat as her voice broke and quickly moved away to fix the tea.
“I still should have been there,” Remus mumbled, taking one of the biscuits.
She sat his mug in front of him, and ran a hand over his hair. She bent to press a kiss to his crown, whispering as she pulled away, “He was a good man.”
“Yeah,” Remus said, and grabbed her hand before she could leave his side, clinging to her.
She gave his hand a squeeze before taking her seat at the table. She cleared her throat as she grabbed a biscuit, and said, “I’m assume this isn’t a social call, sweetheart.”
“I wish it were,” Remus said, grabbing his mug and taking a sip of tea to steady himself. He winced as it burned his tongue. “You heard about what happened to Sirius, then?”
Anwen nodded and wrapped her hands around her mug. “Gethin Perkins stopped by. You remember him-he worked with your father at the Ministry. He wanted to ask me some questions about Sirius. I’m so sorry, Remus. I know how much you care for him.”
“I love him, Mam,” Remus said quietly, not daring to meet her eyes.
“I know, cariad. I know,” Anwen said and reached for his hand again. She smiled brightly as he looked up at her. “I’ve known for quite a long time. I’m hate this had to happen.”
“What did Gethin say?” Remus asked and took another sip of tea. Her turned his hand over to grasp his mother’s, his knuckles white, and he was impressed when she didn’t so much as flinch.
“Nothing much,” Anwen said tersely. “Asked me if I’d seen any strange goings on since I’d moved back here.”
“And?”
“I told him this was the first I’d heard of, save for that incident with those kids in masks and boiler suits last month,” Anwen said with a sigh. “He said they had dealt with that. He was acting strangely though. Like I said I’d seen an alien or something. Imagine, Remus! Aliens!”
Remus tried to smile at her excited tone. “Aliens, Mam? Have you been watching a few too many science fiction films?”
“Oh, hush, you,” she said, faking a smile of her own. “You sound just like your father.”
The pair fell into silence. Remus stared down into his mug, staring at the warm liquid inside as if it could help him find the words he needed to say. He was snapped from his reverie when his mother cleared her throat again. He looked up and felt a surge of guilt at the resigned look gracing her once carefree face.
“You know something I don’t,” she said, reminding him of all the times she’d caught him in a lie as a boy.
“Dumbledore thinks there may be a rift in space-time running through Cardiff,” Remus said quickly. “He thinks it took Sirius.”
Anwen was quiet for a long moment as she thought and sipped her tea. “I remember what my mam and mamgu told me when I was little. Strange disappearances. Funny artefacts being found that the museums and universities couldn’t identify…weird coins, strange bits of technology, rocks that didn’t match the local geography. And I’m going to assume those kids in masks weren’t actually kids having a laugh at all.”
Remus sighed. “I don’t know about that last one, Mam.”
“And what’s happened to Sirius?”
“Transported anywhere in time and space for all we know,” Remus said bitterly. “But Dumbledore thinks he may have found a lead into getting him back.”
“You don’t sound very hopeful,” Anwen said, reaching over as he tried to lift his mug with shaking hands. She gently took it and set it back down on the table. “I take it Dumbledore isn’t either?”
“What we have to do, Mam, to even try to get him back,” Remus said, not meeting her eyes, “is dangerous.”
“How dangerous?”
“Azkaban dangerous,” Remus said quietly. “If we get caught. Mam, we’re going to have to break into-“
“I don’t need to hear specifics, Remus,” Anwen said, cupping her son’s cheek. “If you do get caught, I don’t need to help incriminate you or be charged as an accomplice. You’ll need someone on the outside to try to get you acquitted. Just be safe. Whatever you do, promise me you’ll be safe. And bring him home. I’ve never seen you smile so much as when you’re with him.”
“Mam?” Remus asked, looking up at her questioningly.
“I know you love him and all I have to do is look at him to know he feels the same way,” Anwen said, pulling her hand away to undo her hair. She ran a hand through it, shaking it out as it fell about her shoulders. “If I could find a way to get your father back, I’d do it and damn the consequences.”
“What are you saying, Mam?” Remus asked, voice cracking.
“That boy is the best thing that ever happened to you,” Anwen said, a smile in her voice. “After what happened with Greyback, I never thought I’d see you smile again. Then you met him and those other boys and it was like I got my son back. I’d have to be blind not to see how happy you are with Sirius, and an absolute idiot to deny you that happiness. People do stupid things for love, Remus. Sometimes because they are left with no other choice.”
Anwen paused and stood up, walking around the table to her son. She placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of his head again. “So I guess what I’m saying is to do what you have to. I’ll support you no matter what, cariad.” With a wink, she added, “But, of course, if anyone asks me about this, I know nothing.”
“I don’t deserve you, Mam,” Remus said, turning to wrap his arms around her middle.
“Of course you do,” Anwen said matter-of-factually. “Now, why don’t you go have a sleep, yeah? You look like shit.”
Remus laughed and scrubbed at his eyes, wiping away tears neither of the acknowledged. “Mam!”
“What?” Anwen giggled and gently smacked his shoulder. “Finish your tea and do as your old mam says.”
“Yes, Mam,” Remus said, saluting her with his mug.
He watched her go over to the sink and start on the washing up, her soft soprano singing a song from his childhood. He sighed, a long expulsion of air that earned him a raised eyebrow from her. He grabbed a biscuit, dunking it in his tea before taking a soggy bite.
She was wrong. He didn’t deserve her. Or Sirius for that matter.
But he was damned if he was going to let anything take them from him.
***
Sirius didn’t bother to open his eyes when he regained consciousness. Instead he concentrated on just breathing and the sounds around him. He could hear the soft whir of machines and a leisurely susurrus of falling water somewhere off to his right. He was laying on something lumpy, like an old settee, and he could feel the warmth of a body nearby. The perfume he smelled was light and citrusy, like Cooper’s....
He opened one eye to see her staring back at him from her seat on the coffee table, an amused expression on her face and her arms resting atop her crossed legs.
“Good afternoon, Mr Black,” she said a little too cheerfully for Sirius’s liking.
Sirius groaned, opening both eyes, and leaned up on his elbows. He looked around for a moment, taking in the Hub. His gaze lingered on the “Torchwood” logo above the couch he was laying on. He turned back to Cooper after a moment.
“You drugged me,” he stated. He knew he should be angry, but he couldn’t bring himself to be cross at anyone. Well, maybe Harkness, but the American wasn’t doing much to endear himself with that resurrection act.
“I had to, sweetheart,” she said with a sigh. “You were getting hysterical.”
“You could have tried something else,” Sirius spat and sat up. He leaned forward and cradled his throbbing head in his hands. “All this losing conscious crap is starting to get on my nerves.”
“Well, I am sorry,” Cooper said, reaching for a bottle of water and two small pills sitting on the table beside her. She offered them to him.
“What are they?” he asked, looking at the pills warily.
“Paracetamol. For your head,” she said with a small smile.
“Oh,” Sirius said and took the pills from her. “Thanks.”
He took them gratefully and stared down at his feet, rolling the cool water bottle between his hands. He cleared his throat. “So. Harkness doesn’t stay dead.”
She chuckled. “That’s one way to put it. He usually says he can’t die.”
“But he can. He did. I saw it,” Sirius said, running a trembling hand through his hair and looking desperately up at her. “And then I saw him come back to life.” He paused, willing himself to stop shaking. “Am I going mad?”
“I’m afraid not,” Cooper said and took the water bottle from him. She sat it back down on the table and took his hands in her own. Sirius hated that he clung to her like a lifeline. “Do you want to know how I met Jack?”
“Is it relevant?” Sirius asked absently, not really wanting to listen to another one of her stories if it was anything like the one with Banana Boat.
“Yep,” she said, too chipper. “I met Captain Jack Harkness and Torchwood at a crime scene. I was still a PC at the time. I saw them bring a corpse back to life using the Resurrection Gauntlet.”
“The what?” Sirius could feel his eyebrows rising of their own accord.
“It’s exactly what it says on the tin. It was this glove sort of thing that brought people back to life for about two minutes,” Cooper said and Sirius could see the moment her eyes hardened with whatever she was remembering. “Well, they say curiosity killed the cat. I looked into Torchwood and then Jack Retconned me.”
“‘Retconned?’”
“It’s an amnesia pill,” she said, letting go of one of his hands long enough to tuck a strand of her dark hair behind an ear. “It wiped my memories, but I saw a sketch of the murder weapon and it triggered something. I knew I’d seen it before, I just couldn’t remember where exactly. Turns out, this woman named Suzie had it at her desk the night I got the Torchwood PR tour and my memories taken. You see, the glove had driven her mad. Whether it was the power of the gauntlet itself or just this bloody job on top of everything else going on in her life, I can’t say.”
Sirius frowned, looking up as the pteranodon screeched and took flight. “Torchwood made her go mad?”
“In a way, yes. She was using the knife to kill people and then used the glove to resurrect them. She’d figured out that they worked better when used together. But, anyway, I found myself standing by the water tower at God knows what hour in the morning, trying to figure out where I’d seen the knife and why I was on the Plass, of all places. Then Suzie stepped off the lift. I don’t remember much more than her pulling a gun on me and how scared and confused I was. And then she turned to the lift and pulled the trigger. Jack had been standing there and, all of a sudden, he fell off. Dead. Shot right between the eyes. I was terrified she was going to shoot me too, but then Jack just stood up and I saw the wound heal right before my eyes.”
With disbelief, Sirius asked, “How is that even possible?”
“All he’s ever told me is that something happened to him a long time ago that changed him,” Cooper said, her full lips turned down in a frown. “Maybe he’s told Ianto more, I don’t know. I think it was when he was travelling with that Doctor of his. To be honest, I don’t think even Jack knows for sure.”
“And has he died since then?” Sirius asked, letting go of her hands to lean back into the couch.
“Countless times.” A guilty look crossed her face. “Sometimes because of us, almost always to protect us.”
Sirius was quiet for a long moment, mulling over what Cooper had said. “Is it magic?”
“I’ve seen faeries take their chosen one, people from films going walkabout, and a lot of amazing things most people would consider magical,” she said resolutely, “but there is no such thing, Sirius. Maybe where you come from there is, but not here. Torchwood would know, and, believe me, Yvonne bloody Hartman would have used it to her advantage at One had she known about its existence.”
“But how can it exist in one world and not another?” Sirius asked, rubbing at his temples. The paracetamol wasn’t helping. His head was still throbbing.
Cooper shrugged. “That’s more Jack’s area than mine.” She paused. “I’m not completely familiar with it, but I think it was Hawking who proposed that for every black hole in this universe there is one out there where black holes don’t exist. Maybe it’s something like that? But that’s just my guess. It’s never come up before and I never thought of asking Tosh what she thought about parallel worlds.” She sighed. “I never got around to asking her a lot of things.”
Sirius scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling the stubble along on his chin. “Was Tosh your doctor?”
“What?” Gwen asked, her eyes narrowing.
“Mr Jones mentioned you lost your doctor,” Sirius said, suddenly feeling nervous. “Was I not supposed to know that?”
Cooper smiled sadly and laid a hand on his knee. “No, it’s fine. It’s still a bit raw, that’s all. Toshiko was our technician. It wasn’t that long ago we lost her and Owen. Martha was filling in, but she’s only just been recalled to UNIT.”
Sirius raised his eyebrow, causing her to giggle.
“United Nations Intelligence Taskforce. They’re much more military that Torchwood.”
“But Harkness is RAF, right? That coat he wears?” Sirius asked, slouching down on the settee. With all the strange culture shock, he was beginning to feel like Dorothy in Oz. Only in this world he was the only wizard and there was no waking up from a dream.
“Jack likes to keep himself to himself,” Cooper said quietly. She smiled and Sirius felt himself wanting to smile as well. “But it does suit him, doesn’t it?”
“And you trust him to be your boss?” Sirius tried to joke, but his stomach fell when Cooper’s expression became a blank mask. “With all his secrets?”
“Jack’s a good man,” she said and looked him in the eye, her tone leaving no room for argument. “I trust him with my life. You should too.”
“But you don’t even know him,” Sirius said, shifting under her scrutiny.
“I don’t know who he was, but I know who he is now. That’s all that matters.”
“Even the not dying bit?”
“There is that.”
They fell into silence for a moment. Sirius couldn’t keep the images of Harkness lying in Jones’s arms from his mind. He looked down at his hands, bile rising as saw the dried blood on them.
“How do you deal with it?”
“Deal with what?” Cooper asked and grabbed a handful of tissues from the box under the table. She wet them with water from the bottle and took his right hand.
“Harkness dying and coming back like that,” he said hollowly and watched as she started to dab at the blood. “It’s terrible.”
“I’m ashamed to say I once thought of it as a bit of a novelty,” she said, her voice quiet. “I never thought how much it hurt him until recently.”
Sirius sighed, letting her turn his hand over. “No one’s told me what happened to them.”
“None of us want to talk about it.”
Sirius studied her face as she resolutely refused to look up at him. “It was bad, wasn’t it?”
“‘Bad’ is a normal day at Torchwood,” Cooper hissed and jerked his other hand to her. “That one was pure hell.”
Sirius winced as she started to roughly clean the blood away. He looked up when she stifled a cry. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
She looked up towards the pteranodon’s nest, blinking rapidly to clear the tears shining in her eyes. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped like that.”
Sirius pulled his hand away when she let go and tentatively laid it on her shoulder. “If it’s any consolation, I know what it’s like. Remus lost his father not too long ago.”
Cooper’s eyes softened, but Sirius noticed the way she was slowly shredding the tissues in her hands. “May I ask what happened to him?”
He cleared his throat, an unwanted lump of emotion blocking it. “He and a group of Aurors were out investigating reports of Death Eater-that’s what Voldemort’s followers call themselves-activity in the Brecon Beacons. It was an ambush. The Death Eaters took them by surprise. They never stood a chance.
“Remus was at headquarters in London when we got word. He didn’t take it very well. He blames himself for what happened. He thought his father never would have been out there if he hadn’t been the one to join the Order in the first place, and because the werewolf who bit Remus is Voldemort’s trained dog.”
“I know how he feels,” she whispered. “It’s a constant worry here. We save the many at the cost of a few. And no matter how many people we save compared to those we lose, it still hurts. Especially when it’s your friends…when you and them are the last line of defense.”
Sirius gave her shoulder a squeeze. “But not Harkness. Never Harkness.”
“He knows he’ll always live to see another day,” Cooper said and sat the tissues down next to her. “He knows he’ll survive even when the Darkness is so welcoming to him.”
“The Darkness?” Sirius asked, his heart skipping a beat. He didn’t remember how he arrived, but he felt an almost overwhelming fear at Cooper’s words.
“Suzie, Jack and Owen all said that’s what there is after we die. No heaven, no hell, no astral plane where you’re reunited with your loved ones. Just unending darkness. And you’re not alone.”
Sirius shivered. “What’s in it?”
“They wouldn’t say,” Cooper said, scooting back on the table to stretch her legs out under the settee. “But that’s not for the living to know, yeah?”
Sirius laughed bitterly and picked at a spot of blood on his jeans. “It’s probably for the best that way.”
“Probably,” she echoed. She looked lost in thought for a moment before rubbing her hands on her thighs and stood. “So,” she said and slid her hands into her back pockets, “why don’t we see about getting some lunch and then maybe I could show you around Cardiff? I’m certain it’s not like the one you left.”
Sirius snorted. “Believe me, it’s nothing like the one I left.”
“Just let me set the Hub to remote monitoring and we’ll be off,” Cooper said with a somewhat watery smile and a nod.
“Gwen?” he called as she turned to walk away.
“Yes?”
Sirius slumped back into the couch. “I couldn’t get my wand back, could I?”
“Jack put it in the secure archives. Only he and Ianto have the codes,” she said with a fake smile. “I really am sorry.”
Sirius knew she wasn’t but let it go. It was worth a try, but not worth arguing over. He sighed as he watched her walk over to one of the workstations and type in the necessary commands. If he could convince any of them to give his wand back to him, it would be her. He just needed to find a way to play up to empathy, whatever Torchwood had left of it, a bit more.
***
Ianto laughs softly as Jack leaned back into him, wet skin against wet skin, as the water lapped around them. The bath really wasn’t meant for two, but neither of them cared.
“I thought you wanted a massage,” he said, wrapping his arms around Jack. He ran his hands up Jack’s torso, his left coming to rest over his heart while his right rubbed circles along his stomach.
“I did,” Jack said, placing his hand over Ianto’s left. He weaved their fingers together and slowly drug Ianto’s hand away from his chest. “I’m still here, Ianto.”
“I know,” Ianto sighed and pressed a kiss to Jack’s shoulder. “You’re one to talk, anyway.”
“Yeah, well,” Jack grumbled, shifting and sloshing water over the side of the tub. “I come back when I die. You and Gwen won’t.”
“But you still die,” Ianto whispered, turning his hand in Jack’s. “You still feel pain.” He brought their joined hands to his lips, tasting soap. “I still worry you won’t come back.”
“I don’t really have a choice in it,” Jack said, turning slightly in the small space of Ianto’s embrace. He let go of Ianto’s hand to try to cup his chin. “I always get pulled back into life. For how long, I don’t know, but I always do. I always will.”
Ianto closed his eyes and ran a hand up Jack’s forearm to cover his hand, nuzzling into it. “How can you be so sure?”
Jack frowned, tracing Ianto’s bottom lip with his thumb. He sighed as Ianto nipped at it and pulled his hand away to reach for the flannel. He took the soap Ianto offered, lathering it onto the cloth and resolutely not meeting his eyes.
“Ja-ack,” Ianto said, drawing out his name as he started to scrub at Ianto’s chest. He sighed and grabbed Jack’s hand, prying the flannel from his grasp when he didn’t meet his eye.
Jack sighed, his eyes slipping closed as Ianto started to lather his forearm with the flannel. If he noticed Ianto’s grip on his wrist, fingers resting over his steady pulse, he didn’t mention it.
“Have I ever told you about the first time I died?” he asked after a moment, his voice almost a whisper.
Ianto frowned and let go of Jack’s arm when he started to pull it away. He followed Jack’s movements out the corner of his eye and sighed when Jack grabbed the shampoo bottle. “No, you haven’t.”
The ‘you don’t tell me a lot of things’ went unsaid as Jack squeezed some shampoo into the Welshman’s hands. He rubbed his hands together quickly before running his fingers through Ianto’s hair.
“It was the year 200,100,” Jack said quietly, a small smile tugging at his lips as stilled under Jack’s touch. “I was travelling with the Doctor and a woman named Rose Tyler.”
“Her name was on the list of-“
“I know. I saw,” Jack interrupted, his voice hitching slightly. “But she’s living in a parallel world of her own, safe and sound.”
Ianto sighed, letting Jack’s words was over him. He wiped at the drop of shampoo that was tickling its way down his forehead, leaning back to rinse his hair when Jack was through.
“Anyway,” Jack added, running his hand over Ianto’s hair as he sat back up. “There we were in 200,100, stuck in game show hell.” He shivered. “I never could watch What Not to Wear after that, but to be fair Trinny and Susannah are much more terrifying than their robots.” He chuckled as Ianto raised an eyebrow. “Push come to shove, we were facing down half-mad Daleks.” He rubbed Ianto’s upper arms when the younger man flinched. “I died trying to buy the Doctor some time to finish assembling a delta wave. All I can remember is being exterminated and then gasping back to life to the sound of the TARDIS dematerialising and being up to my neck in corpses and Dalek dust.”
“He left you?” Ianto asked, incredulous. “Bastard!”
Jack smiled wanly. “His newest regeneration more so than the last. But he had other things on his mind.”
“Like?” Ianto asked and hastily grabbed the shampoo.
“Like the fact that he was regenerating and Rose had absorbed the time vortex,” Jack explained, taking the bottle from Ianto and beginning to quickly wash his own hair. “I thought it was because he thought I was dead, but....” He sighed and rinsed his hair. “Well, it doesn’t matter why he left me.”
“Yes, it does,” Ianto said quickly. He sighed himself when Jack ducked his head and let the subject drop. “Is that even possible? Absorbing that and surviving?”
Jack paused and thought for a moment, a frown on his lips. “It shouldn’t be. If a Time Lord absorbed the Vortex it would turn him into a vengeful god. But Rose was an exceptional woman. Strong and equally strong-headed.” He paused. “Gwen reminds me quite a lot of her, actually.”
Ianto chuckled. “Should I tell Gwen you called her stubborn? Even if it was indirectly?”
“Oi!” Jack exclaimed and splashed Ianto. “Don’t you dare.”
“I’m sure she’d love to know what you really think of her,” Ianto teased, splashing Jack back. He tossed the flannel at Jack, laughing when it landed with a squelch on his chest.
“And leave me to deal with an angry Gwen? I don’t think so,” Jack grumbled, fighting a smile as Ianto chuckled and pulled the flannel away. “What’s next? Decaf for a week? No sex for a fortnight? I’m sure there’s a human rights violation in there somewhere. I think it might be the decaf.”
“I’ll be sure to alert the proper authorities, then,” Ianto deadpanned, and leaned in for a kiss that Jack quickly deepened.
“I came back,” Jack whispered when they pulled apart, his lips brushing against Ianto’s. “And I have every time since.”
“But even immortals get tired,” Ianto said, pressing his lips to Jack’s in a desperate kiss.
Jack raised his hands to cradle Ianto’s face, thumbs stroking his jaw as he let Ianto plunder his mouth.
“Look at me,” he said, smiling when Ianto did so. “I may die, but I always come back knowing I have people who need me and people I’m not ready to let go of yet. Never doubt me when I say I come back for you because I do. I will for as long you’ll have me.”
Ianto stared into his eyes, as if searching for something. Jack wondered if he found it when Ianto leaned into him, head on his shoulder and lips pressed to the side of his neck. Jack sighed and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close and running a hand up and down his back. He distinctly avoided his side, slowly turning a violent black and blue where he had pushed him out of the weevil’s way.
“But you don’t know if every time you come back will be the last,” Ianto said, splaying his hands on Jack’s abdomen. “What if you hadn’t come back today?”
“I would have gone knowing it wasn’t you that was dying,” Jack said quietly, turning his head to nuzzle Ianto’s cheek. He pressed a kiss to Ianto’s wet hair, the soapy tang of shampoo bitter on his tongue. “And I can’t explain it, Ianto. I just feel like something’s keeping me here...like there’s something I have to do but I’m just stuck here waiting. And I don’t know what for.”
“‘The woods are lovely, dark and deep / But I have promises to keep/ And miles to go before I sleep,’” Ianto quoted softly, his lips brushing against Jack’s skin as he turned his head.
“‘And miles to go before I sleep,’” Jack finished grimly. “I never was much of a Frost fan.”
“Wasn’t as good a kisser as Isherwood?”
Jack made a noncommittal noise and rocked Ianto back and forth a few times before rubbing his back once more. “What do you say you finish up in here while I see about some food? My back is starting to cramp.”
“Stay with me,” Ianto said quietly, clinging to Jack as he started to move away. “Please.”
“I’m only going into the kitchen,” Jack said, smiling sadly but clung to Ianto as tightly as the younger man was clinging to him.
“Just five more minutes,” Ianto whispered, nipping at Jack’s shoulder. He felt Jack sigh and wrap his arms around him that bit more. He sighed himself, a shuttering expulsion of breath as the day’s events caught up with him. If Jack noticed the hitch in his breathing or the shuddering of his shoulders, he didn’t let on and held him all the tighter.
Part XV
Author: noscrubs12345
sirius100 Prompt: Variations on Reality (original)
Pairings: Remus/Sirius, Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG-13/T
Summary: Sirius Black knew there was something he didn't like about Cardiff. He just didn't expect it to be a rift in time and space. But, once taken, will he be able to make it back to the wizarding world? Or will he be stuck with bloody Torchwood if his friends don't find him first? And what does a mysterious blonde woman have to do with the strange blue box hidden inside the Department of Mysteries?
Warnings: spoilers through Torchwood series two and Doctor Who series four
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, Russell T Davies, the BBC, various publishers, including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended and no money is being made.
Notes: I apologise, again, for the delay in posting. I've been rather distracted lately by a particularly rabid LotR plot bunny....
Missed the beginning?: Part I || Part II || Part III || Part IV || Part V || Part VI || Part VII || Part VIII || Part IX || Part X || Part XI || Part XII || Part XIII
or
Bloody Torchwood @ AO3
When he Apparated into his mother’s garden, a brisk breeze was starting to rustle at the leaves. On it was the cloying scent of the roses she lovingly grew mixed with the salty tang of the air coming in off the bay.
Remus sighed, his heart heavy, and looked around the garden. It was as he left it two days before-gardening tools strewn haphazardly, an abandoned tea cup sitting alone on the small wicker table, and the pink roses still in desperate need of pruning. He could see the light from the kitchen spilling through the window, illuminating the plants below with a soft golden glow.
“Mam?” he called as he entered through the back door, the warmth of the house and the comforting aroma of shortbread washing over him.
“Kitchen!” she called back, her soft, lilting voice a calming balm.
Remus smiled to himself as he felt a bit of the weight he’d been carrying since Sirius’s disappearance lessen as he shrugged off his cloak. He tossed it over the back of the well-worn settee and kicked off his boots before he crossed the small room to the kitchen. Anwen Lupin was standing by the cooker, her greying golden-brown hair spilling from its ponytail and her apron clinging to her full hips. She looked up when Remus walked in and gave him a tired, wan smile.
“Hi, Mam,” Remus said quietly and stuffed his hands into his pockets, not meeting her eyes.
He looked up through his lashes when she sighed deeply. “Come here, cariad,” she said and held her arms out to him.
Remus was across the room in an instant. He took in a deep, shuddering breath of her perfume as her arms pulled him into a tight embrace. He rested his head on top of hers, the coconut of her shampoo filling his nostrils and reminding him of his childhood. He clung to her like he was a five again until she pulled back to kiss to his cheek.
“Mam!” he whinged, pretending to wipe at the spot she had just pressed her lips to. He smiled feebly as she giggled and wiped at the spot with her thumb. He turned his head into her hand, eyes slipping closed and missing the pained look that crossed her delicate features.
“How are you, Remus? Really?” she asked, feathering his fringe with her fingers.
“I’ve been better,” Remus said, sighing. “And you?”
“Just glad your auntie Lyneth is gone,” Anwen said and pulled a face.
“That bad?” Remus chuckled and let his mother lead him to the table. He ran a hand through his hair as he sat down.
“Ergh. The woman is a menace. I can hardly believe we’re related,” she said, throwing her hands up. “I mean, is it possible we have the same parents? Could it be she was left with mine by y tylwyth teg?”
Remus laughed half-heartedly. “What’d she do this time?”
Anwen grumbled under her breath as she checked on the biscuits in the oven. “It seems I’m looking like a cow these days,” she called as she gingerly grabbed the tray with a tea towel. She quickly set the biscuits on top of the hob and switched the oven off. “And she’s the one that’s put on the weight. She looks like she’s about to drop twins.”
“She can’t have been that bad,” Remus chided and tried to hide a smirk.
“You know how she is, always patronising her little sister,” Anwen said and flicked the kettle on. “Would you like a cup, cariad?”
“Yes, please,” Remus said and cleared his throat. “Has she shaved that beard of hers?”
Anwen chortled and pointed at her son. “Don’t you start too.”
“What? She does have one,” Remus teased, watching as she pulled down two mugs and added tea bags to them.
Anwen tried to stifle a laugh but failed. “I do believe the proper term you’re looking for is ‘five-o-clock shadow.’”
Remus chuckled before sobering and looked down at his hands. “What would you do without her?”
“Oh,” Anwen said, rummaging around the cupboards for a plate. “I wouldn’t have anyone to complain about, would I? Especially now with your father gone....”
She stilled as her shaking hand closed around a plate and Remus stared at her back. Eventually she huffed out a breath and straightened, pulling the plate down.
Remus smiled sadly as she whispered, “Daft sod,” and moved back to the hob.
“I miss him too, Mam,” Remus said, watching her quickly, gingerly flick the warm biscuits onto the plate.
“I know,” she whispered, stilling for a moment. “Sometimes I worry about you, Remus. With what you and your friends are out there doing--”
“It’s worth it.”
“I know,” she said soberly, never blinking or looking away as she sat the plate down with a dull thunk. “But I still worry. I’m your mam. It’s my job.”
Remus said, looking away, “But after what happened to Tad-“
“Don’t you go blaming yourself,” Anwen chided as the kettle boiled. “He was a hero.”
“It was an ambush,” Remus said bitterly. “I should have been out there that night with the rest of the Order, not back at headquarters.”
“Remus John Lupin,” Anwen said tersely and reached across the table to squeeze his hand. “It. Was not. Your fault. He died doing his duty. Everyone we know has lost someone. It was only a matter of time before it was one of ours. I just hoped it wouldn’t have been so soon.” She cleared her throat as her voice broke and quickly moved away to fix the tea.
“I still should have been there,” Remus mumbled, taking one of the biscuits.
She sat his mug in front of him, and ran a hand over his hair. She bent to press a kiss to his crown, whispering as she pulled away, “He was a good man.”
“Yeah,” Remus said, and grabbed her hand before she could leave his side, clinging to her.
She gave his hand a squeeze before taking her seat at the table. She cleared her throat as she grabbed a biscuit, and said, “I’m assume this isn’t a social call, sweetheart.”
“I wish it were,” Remus said, grabbing his mug and taking a sip of tea to steady himself. He winced as it burned his tongue. “You heard about what happened to Sirius, then?”
Anwen nodded and wrapped her hands around her mug. “Gethin Perkins stopped by. You remember him-he worked with your father at the Ministry. He wanted to ask me some questions about Sirius. I’m so sorry, Remus. I know how much you care for him.”
“I love him, Mam,” Remus said quietly, not daring to meet her eyes.
“I know, cariad. I know,” Anwen said and reached for his hand again. She smiled brightly as he looked up at her. “I’ve known for quite a long time. I’m hate this had to happen.”
“What did Gethin say?” Remus asked and took another sip of tea. Her turned his hand over to grasp his mother’s, his knuckles white, and he was impressed when she didn’t so much as flinch.
“Nothing much,” Anwen said tersely. “Asked me if I’d seen any strange goings on since I’d moved back here.”
“And?”
“I told him this was the first I’d heard of, save for that incident with those kids in masks and boiler suits last month,” Anwen said with a sigh. “He said they had dealt with that. He was acting strangely though. Like I said I’d seen an alien or something. Imagine, Remus! Aliens!”
Remus tried to smile at her excited tone. “Aliens, Mam? Have you been watching a few too many science fiction films?”
“Oh, hush, you,” she said, faking a smile of her own. “You sound just like your father.”
The pair fell into silence. Remus stared down into his mug, staring at the warm liquid inside as if it could help him find the words he needed to say. He was snapped from his reverie when his mother cleared her throat again. He looked up and felt a surge of guilt at the resigned look gracing her once carefree face.
“You know something I don’t,” she said, reminding him of all the times she’d caught him in a lie as a boy.
“Dumbledore thinks there may be a rift in space-time running through Cardiff,” Remus said quickly. “He thinks it took Sirius.”
Anwen was quiet for a long moment as she thought and sipped her tea. “I remember what my mam and mamgu told me when I was little. Strange disappearances. Funny artefacts being found that the museums and universities couldn’t identify…weird coins, strange bits of technology, rocks that didn’t match the local geography. And I’m going to assume those kids in masks weren’t actually kids having a laugh at all.”
Remus sighed. “I don’t know about that last one, Mam.”
“And what’s happened to Sirius?”
“Transported anywhere in time and space for all we know,” Remus said bitterly. “But Dumbledore thinks he may have found a lead into getting him back.”
“You don’t sound very hopeful,” Anwen said, reaching over as he tried to lift his mug with shaking hands. She gently took it and set it back down on the table. “I take it Dumbledore isn’t either?”
“What we have to do, Mam, to even try to get him back,” Remus said, not meeting her eyes, “is dangerous.”
“How dangerous?”
“Azkaban dangerous,” Remus said quietly. “If we get caught. Mam, we’re going to have to break into-“
“I don’t need to hear specifics, Remus,” Anwen said, cupping her son’s cheek. “If you do get caught, I don’t need to help incriminate you or be charged as an accomplice. You’ll need someone on the outside to try to get you acquitted. Just be safe. Whatever you do, promise me you’ll be safe. And bring him home. I’ve never seen you smile so much as when you’re with him.”
“Mam?” Remus asked, looking up at her questioningly.
“I know you love him and all I have to do is look at him to know he feels the same way,” Anwen said, pulling her hand away to undo her hair. She ran a hand through it, shaking it out as it fell about her shoulders. “If I could find a way to get your father back, I’d do it and damn the consequences.”
“What are you saying, Mam?” Remus asked, voice cracking.
“That boy is the best thing that ever happened to you,” Anwen said, a smile in her voice. “After what happened with Greyback, I never thought I’d see you smile again. Then you met him and those other boys and it was like I got my son back. I’d have to be blind not to see how happy you are with Sirius, and an absolute idiot to deny you that happiness. People do stupid things for love, Remus. Sometimes because they are left with no other choice.”
Anwen paused and stood up, walking around the table to her son. She placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of his head again. “So I guess what I’m saying is to do what you have to. I’ll support you no matter what, cariad.” With a wink, she added, “But, of course, if anyone asks me about this, I know nothing.”
“I don’t deserve you, Mam,” Remus said, turning to wrap his arms around her middle.
“Of course you do,” Anwen said matter-of-factually. “Now, why don’t you go have a sleep, yeah? You look like shit.”
Remus laughed and scrubbed at his eyes, wiping away tears neither of the acknowledged. “Mam!”
“What?” Anwen giggled and gently smacked his shoulder. “Finish your tea and do as your old mam says.”
“Yes, Mam,” Remus said, saluting her with his mug.
He watched her go over to the sink and start on the washing up, her soft soprano singing a song from his childhood. He sighed, a long expulsion of air that earned him a raised eyebrow from her. He grabbed a biscuit, dunking it in his tea before taking a soggy bite.
She was wrong. He didn’t deserve her. Or Sirius for that matter.
But he was damned if he was going to let anything take them from him.
***
Sirius didn’t bother to open his eyes when he regained consciousness. Instead he concentrated on just breathing and the sounds around him. He could hear the soft whir of machines and a leisurely susurrus of falling water somewhere off to his right. He was laying on something lumpy, like an old settee, and he could feel the warmth of a body nearby. The perfume he smelled was light and citrusy, like Cooper’s....
He opened one eye to see her staring back at him from her seat on the coffee table, an amused expression on her face and her arms resting atop her crossed legs.
“Good afternoon, Mr Black,” she said a little too cheerfully for Sirius’s liking.
Sirius groaned, opening both eyes, and leaned up on his elbows. He looked around for a moment, taking in the Hub. His gaze lingered on the “Torchwood” logo above the couch he was laying on. He turned back to Cooper after a moment.
“You drugged me,” he stated. He knew he should be angry, but he couldn’t bring himself to be cross at anyone. Well, maybe Harkness, but the American wasn’t doing much to endear himself with that resurrection act.
“I had to, sweetheart,” she said with a sigh. “You were getting hysterical.”
“You could have tried something else,” Sirius spat and sat up. He leaned forward and cradled his throbbing head in his hands. “All this losing conscious crap is starting to get on my nerves.”
“Well, I am sorry,” Cooper said, reaching for a bottle of water and two small pills sitting on the table beside her. She offered them to him.
“What are they?” he asked, looking at the pills warily.
“Paracetamol. For your head,” she said with a small smile.
“Oh,” Sirius said and took the pills from her. “Thanks.”
He took them gratefully and stared down at his feet, rolling the cool water bottle between his hands. He cleared his throat. “So. Harkness doesn’t stay dead.”
She chuckled. “That’s one way to put it. He usually says he can’t die.”
“But he can. He did. I saw it,” Sirius said, running a trembling hand through his hair and looking desperately up at her. “And then I saw him come back to life.” He paused, willing himself to stop shaking. “Am I going mad?”
“I’m afraid not,” Cooper said and took the water bottle from him. She sat it back down on the table and took his hands in her own. Sirius hated that he clung to her like a lifeline. “Do you want to know how I met Jack?”
“Is it relevant?” Sirius asked absently, not really wanting to listen to another one of her stories if it was anything like the one with Banana Boat.
“Yep,” she said, too chipper. “I met Captain Jack Harkness and Torchwood at a crime scene. I was still a PC at the time. I saw them bring a corpse back to life using the Resurrection Gauntlet.”
“The what?” Sirius could feel his eyebrows rising of their own accord.
“It’s exactly what it says on the tin. It was this glove sort of thing that brought people back to life for about two minutes,” Cooper said and Sirius could see the moment her eyes hardened with whatever she was remembering. “Well, they say curiosity killed the cat. I looked into Torchwood and then Jack Retconned me.”
“‘Retconned?’”
“It’s an amnesia pill,” she said, letting go of one of his hands long enough to tuck a strand of her dark hair behind an ear. “It wiped my memories, but I saw a sketch of the murder weapon and it triggered something. I knew I’d seen it before, I just couldn’t remember where exactly. Turns out, this woman named Suzie had it at her desk the night I got the Torchwood PR tour and my memories taken. You see, the glove had driven her mad. Whether it was the power of the gauntlet itself or just this bloody job on top of everything else going on in her life, I can’t say.”
Sirius frowned, looking up as the pteranodon screeched and took flight. “Torchwood made her go mad?”
“In a way, yes. She was using the knife to kill people and then used the glove to resurrect them. She’d figured out that they worked better when used together. But, anyway, I found myself standing by the water tower at God knows what hour in the morning, trying to figure out where I’d seen the knife and why I was on the Plass, of all places. Then Suzie stepped off the lift. I don’t remember much more than her pulling a gun on me and how scared and confused I was. And then she turned to the lift and pulled the trigger. Jack had been standing there and, all of a sudden, he fell off. Dead. Shot right between the eyes. I was terrified she was going to shoot me too, but then Jack just stood up and I saw the wound heal right before my eyes.”
With disbelief, Sirius asked, “How is that even possible?”
“All he’s ever told me is that something happened to him a long time ago that changed him,” Cooper said, her full lips turned down in a frown. “Maybe he’s told Ianto more, I don’t know. I think it was when he was travelling with that Doctor of his. To be honest, I don’t think even Jack knows for sure.”
“And has he died since then?” Sirius asked, letting go of her hands to lean back into the couch.
“Countless times.” A guilty look crossed her face. “Sometimes because of us, almost always to protect us.”
Sirius was quiet for a long moment, mulling over what Cooper had said. “Is it magic?”
“I’ve seen faeries take their chosen one, people from films going walkabout, and a lot of amazing things most people would consider magical,” she said resolutely, “but there is no such thing, Sirius. Maybe where you come from there is, but not here. Torchwood would know, and, believe me, Yvonne bloody Hartman would have used it to her advantage at One had she known about its existence.”
“But how can it exist in one world and not another?” Sirius asked, rubbing at his temples. The paracetamol wasn’t helping. His head was still throbbing.
Cooper shrugged. “That’s more Jack’s area than mine.” She paused. “I’m not completely familiar with it, but I think it was Hawking who proposed that for every black hole in this universe there is one out there where black holes don’t exist. Maybe it’s something like that? But that’s just my guess. It’s never come up before and I never thought of asking Tosh what she thought about parallel worlds.” She sighed. “I never got around to asking her a lot of things.”
Sirius scrubbed a hand over his face, feeling the stubble along on his chin. “Was Tosh your doctor?”
“What?” Gwen asked, her eyes narrowing.
“Mr Jones mentioned you lost your doctor,” Sirius said, suddenly feeling nervous. “Was I not supposed to know that?”
Cooper smiled sadly and laid a hand on his knee. “No, it’s fine. It’s still a bit raw, that’s all. Toshiko was our technician. It wasn’t that long ago we lost her and Owen. Martha was filling in, but she’s only just been recalled to UNIT.”
Sirius raised his eyebrow, causing her to giggle.
“United Nations Intelligence Taskforce. They’re much more military that Torchwood.”
“But Harkness is RAF, right? That coat he wears?” Sirius asked, slouching down on the settee. With all the strange culture shock, he was beginning to feel like Dorothy in Oz. Only in this world he was the only wizard and there was no waking up from a dream.
“Jack likes to keep himself to himself,” Cooper said quietly. She smiled and Sirius felt himself wanting to smile as well. “But it does suit him, doesn’t it?”
“And you trust him to be your boss?” Sirius tried to joke, but his stomach fell when Cooper’s expression became a blank mask. “With all his secrets?”
“Jack’s a good man,” she said and looked him in the eye, her tone leaving no room for argument. “I trust him with my life. You should too.”
“But you don’t even know him,” Sirius said, shifting under her scrutiny.
“I don’t know who he was, but I know who he is now. That’s all that matters.”
“Even the not dying bit?”
“There is that.”
They fell into silence for a moment. Sirius couldn’t keep the images of Harkness lying in Jones’s arms from his mind. He looked down at his hands, bile rising as saw the dried blood on them.
“How do you deal with it?”
“Deal with what?” Cooper asked and grabbed a handful of tissues from the box under the table. She wet them with water from the bottle and took his right hand.
“Harkness dying and coming back like that,” he said hollowly and watched as she started to dab at the blood. “It’s terrible.”
“I’m ashamed to say I once thought of it as a bit of a novelty,” she said, her voice quiet. “I never thought how much it hurt him until recently.”
Sirius sighed, letting her turn his hand over. “No one’s told me what happened to them.”
“None of us want to talk about it.”
Sirius studied her face as she resolutely refused to look up at him. “It was bad, wasn’t it?”
“‘Bad’ is a normal day at Torchwood,” Cooper hissed and jerked his other hand to her. “That one was pure hell.”
Sirius winced as she started to roughly clean the blood away. He looked up when she stifled a cry. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
She looked up towards the pteranodon’s nest, blinking rapidly to clear the tears shining in her eyes. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped like that.”
Sirius pulled his hand away when she let go and tentatively laid it on her shoulder. “If it’s any consolation, I know what it’s like. Remus lost his father not too long ago.”
Cooper’s eyes softened, but Sirius noticed the way she was slowly shredding the tissues in her hands. “May I ask what happened to him?”
He cleared his throat, an unwanted lump of emotion blocking it. “He and a group of Aurors were out investigating reports of Death Eater-that’s what Voldemort’s followers call themselves-activity in the Brecon Beacons. It was an ambush. The Death Eaters took them by surprise. They never stood a chance.
“Remus was at headquarters in London when we got word. He didn’t take it very well. He blames himself for what happened. He thought his father never would have been out there if he hadn’t been the one to join the Order in the first place, and because the werewolf who bit Remus is Voldemort’s trained dog.”
“I know how he feels,” she whispered. “It’s a constant worry here. We save the many at the cost of a few. And no matter how many people we save compared to those we lose, it still hurts. Especially when it’s your friends…when you and them are the last line of defense.”
Sirius gave her shoulder a squeeze. “But not Harkness. Never Harkness.”
“He knows he’ll always live to see another day,” Cooper said and sat the tissues down next to her. “He knows he’ll survive even when the Darkness is so welcoming to him.”
“The Darkness?” Sirius asked, his heart skipping a beat. He didn’t remember how he arrived, but he felt an almost overwhelming fear at Cooper’s words.
“Suzie, Jack and Owen all said that’s what there is after we die. No heaven, no hell, no astral plane where you’re reunited with your loved ones. Just unending darkness. And you’re not alone.”
Sirius shivered. “What’s in it?”
“They wouldn’t say,” Cooper said, scooting back on the table to stretch her legs out under the settee. “But that’s not for the living to know, yeah?”
Sirius laughed bitterly and picked at a spot of blood on his jeans. “It’s probably for the best that way.”
“Probably,” she echoed. She looked lost in thought for a moment before rubbing her hands on her thighs and stood. “So,” she said and slid her hands into her back pockets, “why don’t we see about getting some lunch and then maybe I could show you around Cardiff? I’m certain it’s not like the one you left.”
Sirius snorted. “Believe me, it’s nothing like the one I left.”
“Just let me set the Hub to remote monitoring and we’ll be off,” Cooper said with a somewhat watery smile and a nod.
“Gwen?” he called as she turned to walk away.
“Yes?”
Sirius slumped back into the couch. “I couldn’t get my wand back, could I?”
“Jack put it in the secure archives. Only he and Ianto have the codes,” she said with a fake smile. “I really am sorry.”
Sirius knew she wasn’t but let it go. It was worth a try, but not worth arguing over. He sighed as he watched her walk over to one of the workstations and type in the necessary commands. If he could convince any of them to give his wand back to him, it would be her. He just needed to find a way to play up to empathy, whatever Torchwood had left of it, a bit more.
***
Ianto laughs softly as Jack leaned back into him, wet skin against wet skin, as the water lapped around them. The bath really wasn’t meant for two, but neither of them cared.
“I thought you wanted a massage,” he said, wrapping his arms around Jack. He ran his hands up Jack’s torso, his left coming to rest over his heart while his right rubbed circles along his stomach.
“I did,” Jack said, placing his hand over Ianto’s left. He weaved their fingers together and slowly drug Ianto’s hand away from his chest. “I’m still here, Ianto.”
“I know,” Ianto sighed and pressed a kiss to Jack’s shoulder. “You’re one to talk, anyway.”
“Yeah, well,” Jack grumbled, shifting and sloshing water over the side of the tub. “I come back when I die. You and Gwen won’t.”
“But you still die,” Ianto whispered, turning his hand in Jack’s. “You still feel pain.” He brought their joined hands to his lips, tasting soap. “I still worry you won’t come back.”
“I don’t really have a choice in it,” Jack said, turning slightly in the small space of Ianto’s embrace. He let go of Ianto’s hand to try to cup his chin. “I always get pulled back into life. For how long, I don’t know, but I always do. I always will.”
Ianto closed his eyes and ran a hand up Jack’s forearm to cover his hand, nuzzling into it. “How can you be so sure?”
Jack frowned, tracing Ianto’s bottom lip with his thumb. He sighed as Ianto nipped at it and pulled his hand away to reach for the flannel. He took the soap Ianto offered, lathering it onto the cloth and resolutely not meeting his eyes.
“Ja-ack,” Ianto said, drawing out his name as he started to scrub at Ianto’s chest. He sighed and grabbed Jack’s hand, prying the flannel from his grasp when he didn’t meet his eye.
Jack sighed, his eyes slipping closed as Ianto started to lather his forearm with the flannel. If he noticed Ianto’s grip on his wrist, fingers resting over his steady pulse, he didn’t mention it.
“Have I ever told you about the first time I died?” he asked after a moment, his voice almost a whisper.
Ianto frowned and let go of Jack’s arm when he started to pull it away. He followed Jack’s movements out the corner of his eye and sighed when Jack grabbed the shampoo bottle. “No, you haven’t.”
The ‘you don’t tell me a lot of things’ went unsaid as Jack squeezed some shampoo into the Welshman’s hands. He rubbed his hands together quickly before running his fingers through Ianto’s hair.
“It was the year 200,100,” Jack said quietly, a small smile tugging at his lips as stilled under Jack’s touch. “I was travelling with the Doctor and a woman named Rose Tyler.”
“Her name was on the list of-“
“I know. I saw,” Jack interrupted, his voice hitching slightly. “But she’s living in a parallel world of her own, safe and sound.”
Ianto sighed, letting Jack’s words was over him. He wiped at the drop of shampoo that was tickling its way down his forehead, leaning back to rinse his hair when Jack was through.
“Anyway,” Jack added, running his hand over Ianto’s hair as he sat back up. “There we were in 200,100, stuck in game show hell.” He shivered. “I never could watch What Not to Wear after that, but to be fair Trinny and Susannah are much more terrifying than their robots.” He chuckled as Ianto raised an eyebrow. “Push come to shove, we were facing down half-mad Daleks.” He rubbed Ianto’s upper arms when the younger man flinched. “I died trying to buy the Doctor some time to finish assembling a delta wave. All I can remember is being exterminated and then gasping back to life to the sound of the TARDIS dematerialising and being up to my neck in corpses and Dalek dust.”
“He left you?” Ianto asked, incredulous. “Bastard!”
Jack smiled wanly. “His newest regeneration more so than the last. But he had other things on his mind.”
“Like?” Ianto asked and hastily grabbed the shampoo.
“Like the fact that he was regenerating and Rose had absorbed the time vortex,” Jack explained, taking the bottle from Ianto and beginning to quickly wash his own hair. “I thought it was because he thought I was dead, but....” He sighed and rinsed his hair. “Well, it doesn’t matter why he left me.”
“Yes, it does,” Ianto said quickly. He sighed himself when Jack ducked his head and let the subject drop. “Is that even possible? Absorbing that and surviving?”
Jack paused and thought for a moment, a frown on his lips. “It shouldn’t be. If a Time Lord absorbed the Vortex it would turn him into a vengeful god. But Rose was an exceptional woman. Strong and equally strong-headed.” He paused. “Gwen reminds me quite a lot of her, actually.”
Ianto chuckled. “Should I tell Gwen you called her stubborn? Even if it was indirectly?”
“Oi!” Jack exclaimed and splashed Ianto. “Don’t you dare.”
“I’m sure she’d love to know what you really think of her,” Ianto teased, splashing Jack back. He tossed the flannel at Jack, laughing when it landed with a squelch on his chest.
“And leave me to deal with an angry Gwen? I don’t think so,” Jack grumbled, fighting a smile as Ianto chuckled and pulled the flannel away. “What’s next? Decaf for a week? No sex for a fortnight? I’m sure there’s a human rights violation in there somewhere. I think it might be the decaf.”
“I’ll be sure to alert the proper authorities, then,” Ianto deadpanned, and leaned in for a kiss that Jack quickly deepened.
“I came back,” Jack whispered when they pulled apart, his lips brushing against Ianto’s. “And I have every time since.”
“But even immortals get tired,” Ianto said, pressing his lips to Jack’s in a desperate kiss.
Jack raised his hands to cradle Ianto’s face, thumbs stroking his jaw as he let Ianto plunder his mouth.
“Look at me,” he said, smiling when Ianto did so. “I may die, but I always come back knowing I have people who need me and people I’m not ready to let go of yet. Never doubt me when I say I come back for you because I do. I will for as long you’ll have me.”
Ianto stared into his eyes, as if searching for something. Jack wondered if he found it when Ianto leaned into him, head on his shoulder and lips pressed to the side of his neck. Jack sighed and wrapped his arms around him, holding him close and running a hand up and down his back. He distinctly avoided his side, slowly turning a violent black and blue where he had pushed him out of the weevil’s way.
“But you don’t know if every time you come back will be the last,” Ianto said, splaying his hands on Jack’s abdomen. “What if you hadn’t come back today?”
“I would have gone knowing it wasn’t you that was dying,” Jack said quietly, turning his head to nuzzle Ianto’s cheek. He pressed a kiss to Ianto’s wet hair, the soapy tang of shampoo bitter on his tongue. “And I can’t explain it, Ianto. I just feel like something’s keeping me here...like there’s something I have to do but I’m just stuck here waiting. And I don’t know what for.”
“‘The woods are lovely, dark and deep / But I have promises to keep/ And miles to go before I sleep,’” Ianto quoted softly, his lips brushing against Jack’s skin as he turned his head.
“‘And miles to go before I sleep,’” Jack finished grimly. “I never was much of a Frost fan.”
“Wasn’t as good a kisser as Isherwood?”
Jack made a noncommittal noise and rocked Ianto back and forth a few times before rubbing his back once more. “What do you say you finish up in here while I see about some food? My back is starting to cramp.”
“Stay with me,” Ianto said quietly, clinging to Jack as he started to move away. “Please.”
“I’m only going into the kitchen,” Jack said, smiling sadly but clung to Ianto as tightly as the younger man was clinging to him.
“Just five more minutes,” Ianto whispered, nipping at Jack’s shoulder. He felt Jack sigh and wrap his arms around him that bit more. He sighed himself, a shuttering expulsion of breath as the day’s events caught up with him. If Jack noticed the hitch in his breathing or the shuddering of his shoulders, he didn’t let on and held him all the tighter.
Part XV