My semi-annual writerly freak out

[nos4a2no9]

I decided that I was going to make a real, honest attempt today to fix the dS rentboy!Fraser AU I've been working on since forever. jamethiel_bane was kind enough to edit half of an early draft for me and suggested several changes that should be made, and I find myself completely unable to make them. Like, I know that she's right, and I know exactly what's wrong

Comments

[debris_k]

Hey you. I've had the same thing happen to me with one of my own stories; the beta did such a good job she scared the bejeezuss out of me and I haven't been able to touch the thing since, even though I *know* she had valid points. Why does writing always end up to be such drama? *sigh*

In any case, if you want another opinion, I'm game. (Also, rentboy!Fraser? I could use a little mindwarping just about now. Word ate my file yesterday. It froze the said it recovered then said it restored then said that the restored file and the last saved file match - all the while I was watching my very last written words on the .doc screen glowing happily at me - then I restarted the 'puter to get Word to move it's arse faster, already, and NO UPDATED FILE. I lost over 2 hours of work, down the drain, bye-bye, kiss the screencap of the last meesly page of more than 6 goodbye. I'm still in shock, as you can tell, 'cause two different file recovery programs just told me it was all kaput. *blames brain for everything, even Word's double-crossing stupidity*)

But my ranting is not what you wanted to hear, probably. Anyways, good luck fighting off that mean writer's block. *sends you cookies, 'cause cookies always help with everything*

[nos4a2no9]

Losing two hours of work (and the conclusion!) would completely defeat me. There needs to be some kind of support group online where you can go and wail about losing that much material due to technical failure. I am totally incapable of dealing with that kind of setback; if it happened to me I'd just be all, "Well, that's that." I admire your resiliency and I hope you'll be up to continuing with your project later. For now I suggest weeping. Weeping and chocolate. But not the writers-block cookies. Those have a far darker purpose.

I will probably (okay, definitely) take you up on the beta offer. I think I do need a second pair of eyes, just because this thing is hard and I am not that bright.

And you're right about the drama. I'm always astonished by how fragile my ego is when it comes to getting beta critique. I am a quivering mass of insecurity :-)