3AM
Title: 3AM
Pairing: ZiKyung
Genre: i have no clue. Angst? Romance? Idfk I threw in some jokes, too. So Comedy.
Rating: R(language and rated R fics are hip hap)
Summary: Sequel to this Zico is drunk at 3AM and needs Kyung.
Kyung wakes to the sound of his phone buzzing under his pillow. He feels around for the device and when he finally gets a hold of it he answers with a tired grunt.
"Kyung," a familiar voice says on the other line.
Kyung moans and rolls on his back. "Dude it's," he opens an eye and peaks at the small clock on his nightstand table. The little red digits read 3:02. "It's 3 in the morning."
"I know it's 3AM," Jiho replies unemotionally, as if calling his best friend up at three in the morning when he was supposed to be fast asleep was no big deal.
Kyung sits up in his bed and flicks on a small lamp beside his bed. There is a lump in Jiho's bed, similar to the shape of an average male's body. Kyung can see a pillow peeking out from under the heavy pink blanket on Jiho's bed. Kyung sighs and shakes his head.
"Where are you?"
Jiho doesn't speak for a while. Kyung can hear him draw in a long breath then slowly blow it out through his teeth. "I was thinking of you," the rapper simply states, a slur snaking it's way through his sentence.
Kyung furrows his eyebrows and rubs his temples. It's three in the morning, he just wants to sleep, not take care of a drunken Jiho. "Where are you? I'll come get you and-"
"I was thinking about you!" Jiho says again, this time with a laugh. "You! Park Kyung, your face was in my mind when all I should have been thinkin' of was how tight this chick was."
Kyung opens his eyes quickly, stunned by what the drunk was confessing. "Wha-what'er you talking about Jiho?"
"I don't know where I am," Jiho changes the subject quickly. "I need you right now. I'm lost." He sounds like a hurt puppy, yelping for someone to come save him.
Kyung slips out of his bed and tip toes through the dorm, sure to not wake anyone and get Jiho and himself in a world of trouble. After kicking on a pair of shoes and sprinting out the dorm, Kyung clears his throat. "Street signs," he demands.
Jiho looks around and despite his intoxicated state manages to read off the nearest intersection. He informs Kyung he is also near a convenience store. Kyung nods and tells Jiho he's close. "I'll buy us some banana milk," Jiho offers before hanging up the phone.
Kyung closes his own and walks through the cold, brisk air. In the back of his mind he kicks himself for not bringing a jacket. Even though it is summer, the nights are cold as winter. "Dammit Jiho, my bed was warm," Kyung curses under his breath, but pushes on through the cold.
Kyung spots Jiho in the convenience store purchasing the drinks and a few snacks when he arrives. Jiho is obviously having trouble paying, either that or he is giving the store owner a free rap concert. Kyung opens the door to the shop and holds it open ajar. Jiho is rapping about being drunk and hungry, but not having any money to pay for the goods. Kyung stifles a laugh and strides up to the clerk.
"Ah! Park Kyung!" Jiho gasps and Kyung realizes the young rapper is drunker than Kyung first imagined. Jiho turns back to the store clerk and starts to rap about Kyung.
Kyung would have loved to stand around and hear where the rap was going, but from the displeased look on the store clerk's face, Kyung knew he'd have to cut Jiho's freestyle song short. Kyung pulls out his wallet from his back pocket, thankfully he grabbed it on his way out, and pulls out a couple bills. "Sorry for my friend," he apologizes and hands the clerk the money.
"Kyung is always saving me! Kyung is my superman! My super super superman!" Jiho spits out a quick and short rap. Kyung laughs, rolls his eyes, and scoops up the black plastic bag, full of snacks and drinks. Why did Jiho have to buy so much junk, he thinks to himself before grabbing Jiho's wrist with his free hand and leading him out of the store.
The two sit on the curb outside of the convenience store and begin to munch on candy bars and sip banana milk out of cute containers. Kyung shifts on his spot, still feeling a little nervous around Jiho since the other learned of his secret. He starts to nibble on a shortbread cookie dipped in pink frosting when Jiho clears his throat.
"You probably hate me for dragging you out at three in the morning and pay for my food," Jiho apologizes remorsefully and a little more sober than before.
"I don't hate you."
"Oh yeah. That's right," Jiho murmurs while swaying to the music playing in his mind. He looks at Kyung with half lidded eyes and smirks. Kyung meets his gaze with a blank face. "That's right you don't! You love me!" The drunken Jiho returns.
Kyung chokes on his cookie and looks away. "Jiho, I-"
Before he can even explain his feelings to Jiho, the drunk kid cuts him off. "Did I tell you I was thinking of you?"
"You may have brought it up," Kyung responds in a quiet, sarcastic voice.
"That's why I called you," Jiho says, his voice sounding darker and soberer. The atmosphere suddenly becomes serious, it's unnerving, but Kyung feels at ease. "Remember that girl I got with a few weekends ago?"
"Sunhwa?"
Jiho takes a swig of his banana milk. "Yeah, her. I got with her tonight." He hangs his head, almost ashamed to be speaking of the dirty act he had just committed. He swishes his drink's container and watches it hit against the sides of the plastic jug like milky white waves.
"How is she?" Kyung asks in a small voice, making sure not to sound to desperate to know how she is. Inside he hoped she was not as hot as she appeared to be, which made Jiho never want to see her again. A quick, facetious thought pops in his head. Maybe her vagina was gross and revolted Jiho so much he would never want to get with another female again. Kyung chuckles the thought away and turns his attention back to Jiho.
"She's got huge tits and perfect perky nipples and she's got a birth mark right above her v-," Jiho pauses and looks at Kyung through the sides of his eyes. "What am I saying? You're gay, you don't care about this."
Kyung shifts on the curb again. Having the fact he preferred men over women out in the open was still new to him. Jiho was the only one who knew, after all. He hadn't gotten used to hearing the label used to describe him. "That doesn't mean I don't appreciate a nice set tits," Kyung drew out. He still liked boobs, at least he thought he did.
"Oh, well I don't know how you work!"
"Just carry on with the story."
Jiho nods and continues. "We went to a club, had a few drinks, went home, had a few more drinks, and the clothes started falling off," Jiho lists.
Kyung cocks his head and tries to put together the puzzle Jiho is creating for him. Jiho wouldn't plead Kyung to get out of bed at three in the morning, knowing they had a schedule the next morning, just to tell him about how awesome the sex he just had with a girl was. Or maybe he would. Kyung looks back up at Jiho, hoping it's not the latter.
"I didn't want to talk about her," Jiho assures Kyung's guess was right. Jiho pops a couple soft candies in his mouth and chews them slowly, a feeble attempt to postpone the talk he and Kyung were about to have. "How do I say this... I was thinking of you while I was doing her. I mean, not like that, you know? Not like I was fucking you. But I was thinking of you as her and someone else as me."
Kyung gives Jiho a confused look. He furrows his brow and tries to picture the painting Jiho is trying to paint for him, but drunk Jiho is not as good of an artist as sober Jiho is. "What are you trying to say?"
"Please don't make me say it." Kyung shows no signs of letting up or understanding what the drunken rapper is trying to say. "I was thinking of you getting fucked by another guy when I was base deep in this chick's ass. Shit, is that simple enough for you!" Jiho's voice is getting louder and more annoyed, but not intentionally. He's just confused and unsure of what he is saying or why in the world he was thinking of Kyung getting his back door broken in while he was breaking his girlfriend's in.
"Oh," Kyung responds with an air of confusion. He bites down on his lip, trying to understand himself why in God's green earth Jiho was picturing Kyung having sex with another man. "Is that it?"
Jiho clenches his fists and grinds his teeth. Of course it's not it, he wants to snap back. Why would Jiho even be telling this to Kyung if there wasn't some ulterior motive. Jiho takes a few deep breaths and exhales slowly.
"How did you," Jiho stops mid sentence, unsure if he should finish the question. He looks at Kyung, the wide eyed rapper stares at him attentively with a hint of annoyance painted across his face. It was three in the morning, after all. Kyung wanted to sleep. Jiho looks down into his hands and like ripping off a band aid, comes out with it the question. "When did you know you were gay," he asks a little too quickly and incoherently.
"What?"
Jiho pulls his head back up and into the black abyss of Kyung's eyes. "When did," he asks slowly and seriously, "you know, realize you like guys?"
"I woke up one day and realized I liked guys over girls," Kyung snaps sarcastically. He didn't intend to have his words sound as harsh as they did, he was trying to lighten the mood with a joke. But every syllable that fell from his lips pierces Jiho through his clothes and skin and stuck in the younger rapper's heart. Kyung pulls out another shortbread cookie and eats it while apologizing to Jiho for his cold tone. He takes his time finishing his cookie before continuing. "I don't know Jiho. You don't just realize this shit. I just, I felt like something was always off with me and after a few years of questioning I guess I just knew. It's hard to explain." Kyung sounds more impatient and frustrated now, making Jiho feel worse than before.
Jiho frowns and tightens his jaw. A sharp pain echoed through his heart to his lungs, stomach, and in the back of his eyes. He had watched movies and read books about people coming to terms with their sexuality. The stories were always about people being so confused with themselves it hurt. Imagining his best friend in similar pain brought tears to his eyes. Jiho scoffs, annoyed with his own sentimental self, and jerks his head away from Kyung. He bats the tears from his eyes and forces any other back.
"Shit," Jiho sighs, head still pointing away from Kyung. "I don't know how to ask that, Kyung. I don't know about any of this." He looks back at Kyung, who is staring towards the convenience store. Kyung doesn't look mad or sad. There's no tears in his eyes, like Jiho's. His face is soft and if Jiho wasn't so drunk he might have noticed Kyung's lips curling up. Maybe Kyung didn't suffer as much as the people in the movies and books Jiho read. Maybe Kyung knew everything would be better once he knew what he was and once he let others know.
"I remember seeing this couple, when I lived in New Zealand. I was walking back from church, they were walking in the opposite direction as me and on the other side of the street. It was two guys, probably three-four years older than me, and I was just so consumed in them. They didn't look like what I pictured two gay guys to be like. They had on average looking clothes, shorts and random t-shirts. One had short spiked hair, the other had a little bit longer hair. From a distance you might think they were just two friends walking somewhere. But they were holding hands. And I knew they were more than friends. And a part of me just knew that could be me one day. I guess that's when you could say I started thinking about it." Kyung explains, this time sounding more calm and understanding. This was the first time he had ever spoken to anyone about this and he knew Jiho. He knew he'd be confused at first. Speaking with a sharp tone would not help anyone right now.
Jiho stays quiet for awhile. His eyes fixated on Kyung's. Forget a penny, Jiho would pay his life salary to know what Kyung was thinking about that very moment. Jiho swallows one of the candies and speaks up again. There was one question itching to be asked in the back of Jiho's mind. A question he asked Kyung mentally for weeks. Jiho clears his throat and asks. "When did you know you liked me?"
Kyung gulps and drops his head away from the store. His eyes focuses on a few pebbles by his feet and inhales a slow, choppy breath. This was something Kyung didn't really know himself. He knew he always found Jiho attractive and he knew he always loved Jiho like he loves his little brother, but he didn't know when the feelings became intimate. Kyung bites his lips and tries to form a timeline in his head before speaking.
"I don't know," Kyung begins. "It was right around the time I started to question myself. I started thinking, 'Well, if I like guys, does that mean I like my guy friends?' I cancelled out all of my other male friends as possible crushes. When I started thinking about, thinking about if I could see you as more of a friend, it kind of just fit. It's like knowing I could like you as more than a friend was the last piece to my sexuality puzzle."
Kyung feels like his jaw is going to fall off from talking so much. He pulls one of the same cookies he had been eating out of the package and starts to suck on the pink frosting. It's strawberry flavor, he thinks, as if knowing this flavor was somehow important. Maybe it would be. Maybe, in the future, when he is telling his future lover about the time he came out to his best friend he could tell him he ate strawberry flavored shortbread cookies. Or maybe it's just a stupid, trivial observation Kyung made to get his mind off of the current topic he was discussing with his best friend.
"I like girls," Jiho states pointedly, as if his nightly trips to his girlfriend's apartment wasn't evidence enough. He wants to smack himself at the obvious statement that could very well be taken as him slamming Kyung and his sexuality down.
"I know," Kyung says without a hint of heartbreak. He knew it would be arbitrary of him to think Jiho was gay. It was something Kyung had been telling himself for a year. Being gay did not mean everyone he liked was going to share his feelings. He had mentally prepared himself for these kind of confessions multiple times, to divert any let down that would lead to heartbreak and possible overeating to compensate for the empty, broken heart he would have.
The two sit in silence again, eating all of their goodies and drinking the last containers of banana milk until they are all gone. Jiho scoops up all of the trash and stuffs it into the black trash bag. He holds the rubbish in hand, staring at Kyung, then gets up to find the nearest public trashcan to dispose of the junk.
Kyung gets to his feet as well. He dusts off any rocks or gunk that may have stuck to him while he was sitting down for so long. He checks his watch, it's almost 4:30am. He sighs and rubs a tired eye, he'll be sorry for not getting enough shut eye in the day to come. He skips up to Jiho, who is standing at the trashcan, he tugs on the younger's shirt and nudges his head in the direction of their dorms. Jiho follows Kyung through the streets of Seoul until he starts to recognize street signs and familiar buildings.
"So," Jiho trails off, his voice high and chipper. He comes to a stop and turns to Kyung, who stops and turns as well. Jiho has a wide, devilish smile spreading from ear to ear. Kyung rolls his eyes and asks what's on Jiho's mind. "Have you ever, you know, fantasized about me?" The rapper asks too excitedly.
Kyung punches Jiho in the shoulder and tries to maintain a serious composure while doing so, but Jiho's stupid face and silly question makes the older break out in an equally wide smile. He turns away from Jiho and starts striding down the street.
"Hey!" Jiho calls out and stumbles as he catches up with Kyung. "Come on, tell me!"
Kyung's wide smile conforms to Jiho's. He turns to Jiho with his own devilish smile and dark eyes. "Why do you want to know Woo Jiho? Are you asking because you want to imagine us? The ZiKyung couple!" Kyung fake gasps. "Are you gay, too?"
It's Jiho's turn to hit Kyung on the shoulder. "Come on you know that's not it! I just want to know what your greasy mind comes up with. Come on, do we use toys? Who takes? Of course I take, right? Come on I don't have any feminine features. You're obviously the girl. Is it rough? No, you're a romancer, huh? Candles and all that shit right?"
"Shut up, Jiho," Kyung laughs and continues down the street, leaving the slow walking Jiho behind to divulge in his own made up ZiKyung fantasies.
"Hey! Have you ever wanted a kiss from me?" The rapper's voice is suddenly louder and closer. Kyung starts to turn when Jiho grabs him, the taller boy's arms wrapping tightly around Kyung's skinny body. Kyung tried to wiggle his way out of Jiho's clutches, but four hours at the gym a day every week has made Jiho strong. "You want a kiss, huh? Come on! One little-" Jiho purses his wet lips and tries to push them on Kyung.
"Stop! Jiho, stop! You're still drunk! You like girls! Stop!" Kyung's pleading is futile. Jiho manages to get a sloppy kiss on Kyung's recoiled lips. After planting the "not-so-successful" successful kiss Jiho releases his grasp on Kyung and bursts into a wild fit of laughter as the other spits on the ground and wipes his lips. "Dick!" Kyung shouts, wiping his lips on his shirt's collar.
"Oh, you know you want more!" Jiho teases while he swings his shoulder over Kyung. He pulls the shorter rapper close and squeezes his arm. The walk in stride down the street, laughing quietly at each other.
"Is this how it's always going to be?" Kyung asks, annoyed.
Jiho loosens his hold on Kyung's arm and ruffles his hair instead. "Nah, you know I'm just pulling your leg." Jiho stops talking for a moment to gather his thoughts. "You know you're my best friend, Kyung. You know I love you like a brother. I don't care if you are gay, bi, whatever. Hell, if you even want to get one of those sex change thingies I'll gladly pay for it."
"Piss off!" Kyung jokingly shoves Jiho, causing Jiho to lose his hold on Kyung and stumble away from him. He quickly regains his balance and attaches his arm on Kyung's shoulder again. "I'm gay, I'm not transgender."
"I know, I know. Seriously, don't think I think of you any differently, okay? I mean I'm going to tease you every now and then, but we're still best friends. Nothings changed," Jiho speaks slowly and seriously, trying to show Kyung Jiho doesn't think of him as any differently. But Kyung knows he is pushing this thought to tell Kyung they are, always have, and always will be best friends. A pang of disappointment pumps through Kyung's heart, but he smiles through it. He worked on this, remember? He knew this is how it was going to be.
"So, do you have a boyfriend?" Jiho asks whimsically.
"No," replies Kyung shortly.
"Good. Because, if you did, I'd have to check this guy out. Make sure he is worthy enough of my Kyung."
"My?" Kyung flashes Jiho a disapproving look.
"Yeah, you're mine until I give you away, got it?" Jiho squeezes Kyung's arm and holds him a little closer to his body.
"Oh~kay." Kyung laughs sarcastically. Jiho pulls him into a tight hug and Kyung rests his head on Jiho's shoulder.
"Have you done it yet?"
"Shut up, Jiho."
"Make sure you use protection. Don't let him go too far, okay? It's not natural to have a, you know, up your, you know."
"Shut up, Jiho."
"Don't spit either, guys hate that," Jiho continues to taunt.
"Shut the fuck up, Jiho." Kyung snaps with an exasperated laugh.
Jiho stops, making Kyung stop. The two share a quick laugh. Jiho places a caring hand on Kyung's shoulder. "I love you man, just know that."
"I love you too," Kyung replies softly and sincerely.
"I know," Jiho responds with a cackle.
Kyung socks Jiho in the shoulder one more time. "Shut up, Jiho."
I can't make ZiKyung happen. Jiho loves him some honey thighs and Kyung is so fucking skinny, so ZiKyung will never happen. Don't tell hotpixel though. kekeke
if you find spelling errors or stuff like that tell me please. I read this 3 times over and think I got them all out, but I can barely write a 140 character tweet without some mistake, so this probably has 98798 typos. I apologize.
Pairing: ZiKyung
Genre: i have no clue. Angst? Romance? Idfk I threw in some jokes, too. So Comedy.
Rating: R(language and rated R fics are hip hap)
Summary: Sequel to this Zico is drunk at 3AM and needs Kyung.
Kyung wakes to the sound of his phone buzzing under his pillow. He feels around for the device and when he finally gets a hold of it he answers with a tired grunt.
"Kyung," a familiar voice says on the other line.
Kyung moans and rolls on his back. "Dude it's," he opens an eye and peaks at the small clock on his nightstand table. The little red digits read 3:02. "It's 3 in the morning."
"I know it's 3AM," Jiho replies unemotionally, as if calling his best friend up at three in the morning when he was supposed to be fast asleep was no big deal.
Kyung sits up in his bed and flicks on a small lamp beside his bed. There is a lump in Jiho's bed, similar to the shape of an average male's body. Kyung can see a pillow peeking out from under the heavy pink blanket on Jiho's bed. Kyung sighs and shakes his head.
"Where are you?"
Jiho doesn't speak for a while. Kyung can hear him draw in a long breath then slowly blow it out through his teeth. "I was thinking of you," the rapper simply states, a slur snaking it's way through his sentence.
Kyung furrows his eyebrows and rubs his temples. It's three in the morning, he just wants to sleep, not take care of a drunken Jiho. "Where are you? I'll come get you and-"
"I was thinking about you!" Jiho says again, this time with a laugh. "You! Park Kyung, your face was in my mind when all I should have been thinkin' of was how tight this chick was."
Kyung opens his eyes quickly, stunned by what the drunk was confessing. "Wha-what'er you talking about Jiho?"
"I don't know where I am," Jiho changes the subject quickly. "I need you right now. I'm lost." He sounds like a hurt puppy, yelping for someone to come save him.
Kyung slips out of his bed and tip toes through the dorm, sure to not wake anyone and get Jiho and himself in a world of trouble. After kicking on a pair of shoes and sprinting out the dorm, Kyung clears his throat. "Street signs," he demands.
Jiho looks around and despite his intoxicated state manages to read off the nearest intersection. He informs Kyung he is also near a convenience store. Kyung nods and tells Jiho he's close. "I'll buy us some banana milk," Jiho offers before hanging up the phone.
Kyung closes his own and walks through the cold, brisk air. In the back of his mind he kicks himself for not bringing a jacket. Even though it is summer, the nights are cold as winter. "Dammit Jiho, my bed was warm," Kyung curses under his breath, but pushes on through the cold.
Kyung spots Jiho in the convenience store purchasing the drinks and a few snacks when he arrives. Jiho is obviously having trouble paying, either that or he is giving the store owner a free rap concert. Kyung opens the door to the shop and holds it open ajar. Jiho is rapping about being drunk and hungry, but not having any money to pay for the goods. Kyung stifles a laugh and strides up to the clerk.
"Ah! Park Kyung!" Jiho gasps and Kyung realizes the young rapper is drunker than Kyung first imagined. Jiho turns back to the store clerk and starts to rap about Kyung.
Kyung would have loved to stand around and hear where the rap was going, but from the displeased look on the store clerk's face, Kyung knew he'd have to cut Jiho's freestyle song short. Kyung pulls out his wallet from his back pocket, thankfully he grabbed it on his way out, and pulls out a couple bills. "Sorry for my friend," he apologizes and hands the clerk the money.
"Kyung is always saving me! Kyung is my superman! My super super superman!" Jiho spits out a quick and short rap. Kyung laughs, rolls his eyes, and scoops up the black plastic bag, full of snacks and drinks. Why did Jiho have to buy so much junk, he thinks to himself before grabbing Jiho's wrist with his free hand and leading him out of the store.
The two sit on the curb outside of the convenience store and begin to munch on candy bars and sip banana milk out of cute containers. Kyung shifts on his spot, still feeling a little nervous around Jiho since the other learned of his secret. He starts to nibble on a shortbread cookie dipped in pink frosting when Jiho clears his throat.
"You probably hate me for dragging you out at three in the morning and pay for my food," Jiho apologizes remorsefully and a little more sober than before.
"I don't hate you."
"Oh yeah. That's right," Jiho murmurs while swaying to the music playing in his mind. He looks at Kyung with half lidded eyes and smirks. Kyung meets his gaze with a blank face. "That's right you don't! You love me!" The drunken Jiho returns.
Kyung chokes on his cookie and looks away. "Jiho, I-"
Before he can even explain his feelings to Jiho, the drunk kid cuts him off. "Did I tell you I was thinking of you?"
"You may have brought it up," Kyung responds in a quiet, sarcastic voice.
"That's why I called you," Jiho says, his voice sounding darker and soberer. The atmosphere suddenly becomes serious, it's unnerving, but Kyung feels at ease. "Remember that girl I got with a few weekends ago?"
"Sunhwa?"
Jiho takes a swig of his banana milk. "Yeah, her. I got with her tonight." He hangs his head, almost ashamed to be speaking of the dirty act he had just committed. He swishes his drink's container and watches it hit against the sides of the plastic jug like milky white waves.
"How is she?" Kyung asks in a small voice, making sure not to sound to desperate to know how she is. Inside he hoped she was not as hot as she appeared to be, which made Jiho never want to see her again. A quick, facetious thought pops in his head. Maybe her vagina was gross and revolted Jiho so much he would never want to get with another female again. Kyung chuckles the thought away and turns his attention back to Jiho.
"She's got huge tits and perfect perky nipples and she's got a birth mark right above her v-," Jiho pauses and looks at Kyung through the sides of his eyes. "What am I saying? You're gay, you don't care about this."
Kyung shifts on the curb again. Having the fact he preferred men over women out in the open was still new to him. Jiho was the only one who knew, after all. He hadn't gotten used to hearing the label used to describe him. "That doesn't mean I don't appreciate a nice set tits," Kyung drew out. He still liked boobs, at least he thought he did.
"Oh, well I don't know how you work!"
"Just carry on with the story."
Jiho nods and continues. "We went to a club, had a few drinks, went home, had a few more drinks, and the clothes started falling off," Jiho lists.
Kyung cocks his head and tries to put together the puzzle Jiho is creating for him. Jiho wouldn't plead Kyung to get out of bed at three in the morning, knowing they had a schedule the next morning, just to tell him about how awesome the sex he just had with a girl was. Or maybe he would. Kyung looks back up at Jiho, hoping it's not the latter.
"I didn't want to talk about her," Jiho assures Kyung's guess was right. Jiho pops a couple soft candies in his mouth and chews them slowly, a feeble attempt to postpone the talk he and Kyung were about to have. "How do I say this... I was thinking of you while I was doing her. I mean, not like that, you know? Not like I was fucking you. But I was thinking of you as her and someone else as me."
Kyung gives Jiho a confused look. He furrows his brow and tries to picture the painting Jiho is trying to paint for him, but drunk Jiho is not as good of an artist as sober Jiho is. "What are you trying to say?"
"Please don't make me say it." Kyung shows no signs of letting up or understanding what the drunken rapper is trying to say. "I was thinking of you getting fucked by another guy when I was base deep in this chick's ass. Shit, is that simple enough for you!" Jiho's voice is getting louder and more annoyed, but not intentionally. He's just confused and unsure of what he is saying or why in the world he was thinking of Kyung getting his back door broken in while he was breaking his girlfriend's in.
"Oh," Kyung responds with an air of confusion. He bites down on his lip, trying to understand himself why in God's green earth Jiho was picturing Kyung having sex with another man. "Is that it?"
Jiho clenches his fists and grinds his teeth. Of course it's not it, he wants to snap back. Why would Jiho even be telling this to Kyung if there wasn't some ulterior motive. Jiho takes a few deep breaths and exhales slowly.
"How did you," Jiho stops mid sentence, unsure if he should finish the question. He looks at Kyung, the wide eyed rapper stares at him attentively with a hint of annoyance painted across his face. It was three in the morning, after all. Kyung wanted to sleep. Jiho looks down into his hands and like ripping off a band aid, comes out with it the question. "When did you know you were gay," he asks a little too quickly and incoherently.
"What?"
Jiho pulls his head back up and into the black abyss of Kyung's eyes. "When did," he asks slowly and seriously, "you know, realize you like guys?"
"I woke up one day and realized I liked guys over girls," Kyung snaps sarcastically. He didn't intend to have his words sound as harsh as they did, he was trying to lighten the mood with a joke. But every syllable that fell from his lips pierces Jiho through his clothes and skin and stuck in the younger rapper's heart. Kyung pulls out another shortbread cookie and eats it while apologizing to Jiho for his cold tone. He takes his time finishing his cookie before continuing. "I don't know Jiho. You don't just realize this shit. I just, I felt like something was always off with me and after a few years of questioning I guess I just knew. It's hard to explain." Kyung sounds more impatient and frustrated now, making Jiho feel worse than before.
Jiho frowns and tightens his jaw. A sharp pain echoed through his heart to his lungs, stomach, and in the back of his eyes. He had watched movies and read books about people coming to terms with their sexuality. The stories were always about people being so confused with themselves it hurt. Imagining his best friend in similar pain brought tears to his eyes. Jiho scoffs, annoyed with his own sentimental self, and jerks his head away from Kyung. He bats the tears from his eyes and forces any other back.
"Shit," Jiho sighs, head still pointing away from Kyung. "I don't know how to ask that, Kyung. I don't know about any of this." He looks back at Kyung, who is staring towards the convenience store. Kyung doesn't look mad or sad. There's no tears in his eyes, like Jiho's. His face is soft and if Jiho wasn't so drunk he might have noticed Kyung's lips curling up. Maybe Kyung didn't suffer as much as the people in the movies and books Jiho read. Maybe Kyung knew everything would be better once he knew what he was and once he let others know.
"I remember seeing this couple, when I lived in New Zealand. I was walking back from church, they were walking in the opposite direction as me and on the other side of the street. It was two guys, probably three-four years older than me, and I was just so consumed in them. They didn't look like what I pictured two gay guys to be like. They had on average looking clothes, shorts and random t-shirts. One had short spiked hair, the other had a little bit longer hair. From a distance you might think they were just two friends walking somewhere. But they were holding hands. And I knew they were more than friends. And a part of me just knew that could be me one day. I guess that's when you could say I started thinking about it." Kyung explains, this time sounding more calm and understanding. This was the first time he had ever spoken to anyone about this and he knew Jiho. He knew he'd be confused at first. Speaking with a sharp tone would not help anyone right now.
Jiho stays quiet for awhile. His eyes fixated on Kyung's. Forget a penny, Jiho would pay his life salary to know what Kyung was thinking about that very moment. Jiho swallows one of the candies and speaks up again. There was one question itching to be asked in the back of Jiho's mind. A question he asked Kyung mentally for weeks. Jiho clears his throat and asks. "When did you know you liked me?"
Kyung gulps and drops his head away from the store. His eyes focuses on a few pebbles by his feet and inhales a slow, choppy breath. This was something Kyung didn't really know himself. He knew he always found Jiho attractive and he knew he always loved Jiho like he loves his little brother, but he didn't know when the feelings became intimate. Kyung bites his lips and tries to form a timeline in his head before speaking.
"I don't know," Kyung begins. "It was right around the time I started to question myself. I started thinking, 'Well, if I like guys, does that mean I like my guy friends?' I cancelled out all of my other male friends as possible crushes. When I started thinking about, thinking about if I could see you as more of a friend, it kind of just fit. It's like knowing I could like you as more than a friend was the last piece to my sexuality puzzle."
Kyung feels like his jaw is going to fall off from talking so much. He pulls one of the same cookies he had been eating out of the package and starts to suck on the pink frosting. It's strawberry flavor, he thinks, as if knowing this flavor was somehow important. Maybe it would be. Maybe, in the future, when he is telling his future lover about the time he came out to his best friend he could tell him he ate strawberry flavored shortbread cookies. Or maybe it's just a stupid, trivial observation Kyung made to get his mind off of the current topic he was discussing with his best friend.
"I like girls," Jiho states pointedly, as if his nightly trips to his girlfriend's apartment wasn't evidence enough. He wants to smack himself at the obvious statement that could very well be taken as him slamming Kyung and his sexuality down.
"I know," Kyung says without a hint of heartbreak. He knew it would be arbitrary of him to think Jiho was gay. It was something Kyung had been telling himself for a year. Being gay did not mean everyone he liked was going to share his feelings. He had mentally prepared himself for these kind of confessions multiple times, to divert any let down that would lead to heartbreak and possible overeating to compensate for the empty, broken heart he would have.
The two sit in silence again, eating all of their goodies and drinking the last containers of banana milk until they are all gone. Jiho scoops up all of the trash and stuffs it into the black trash bag. He holds the rubbish in hand, staring at Kyung, then gets up to find the nearest public trashcan to dispose of the junk.
Kyung gets to his feet as well. He dusts off any rocks or gunk that may have stuck to him while he was sitting down for so long. He checks his watch, it's almost 4:30am. He sighs and rubs a tired eye, he'll be sorry for not getting enough shut eye in the day to come. He skips up to Jiho, who is standing at the trashcan, he tugs on the younger's shirt and nudges his head in the direction of their dorms. Jiho follows Kyung through the streets of Seoul until he starts to recognize street signs and familiar buildings.
"So," Jiho trails off, his voice high and chipper. He comes to a stop and turns to Kyung, who stops and turns as well. Jiho has a wide, devilish smile spreading from ear to ear. Kyung rolls his eyes and asks what's on Jiho's mind. "Have you ever, you know, fantasized about me?" The rapper asks too excitedly.
Kyung punches Jiho in the shoulder and tries to maintain a serious composure while doing so, but Jiho's stupid face and silly question makes the older break out in an equally wide smile. He turns away from Jiho and starts striding down the street.
"Hey!" Jiho calls out and stumbles as he catches up with Kyung. "Come on, tell me!"
Kyung's wide smile conforms to Jiho's. He turns to Jiho with his own devilish smile and dark eyes. "Why do you want to know Woo Jiho? Are you asking because you want to imagine us? The ZiKyung couple!" Kyung fake gasps. "Are you gay, too?"
It's Jiho's turn to hit Kyung on the shoulder. "Come on you know that's not it! I just want to know what your greasy mind comes up with. Come on, do we use toys? Who takes? Of course I take, right? Come on I don't have any feminine features. You're obviously the girl. Is it rough? No, you're a romancer, huh? Candles and all that shit right?"
"Shut up, Jiho," Kyung laughs and continues down the street, leaving the slow walking Jiho behind to divulge in his own made up ZiKyung fantasies.
"Hey! Have you ever wanted a kiss from me?" The rapper's voice is suddenly louder and closer. Kyung starts to turn when Jiho grabs him, the taller boy's arms wrapping tightly around Kyung's skinny body. Kyung tried to wiggle his way out of Jiho's clutches, but four hours at the gym a day every week has made Jiho strong. "You want a kiss, huh? Come on! One little-" Jiho purses his wet lips and tries to push them on Kyung.
"Stop! Jiho, stop! You're still drunk! You like girls! Stop!" Kyung's pleading is futile. Jiho manages to get a sloppy kiss on Kyung's recoiled lips. After planting the "not-so-successful" successful kiss Jiho releases his grasp on Kyung and bursts into a wild fit of laughter as the other spits on the ground and wipes his lips. "Dick!" Kyung shouts, wiping his lips on his shirt's collar.
"Oh, you know you want more!" Jiho teases while he swings his shoulder over Kyung. He pulls the shorter rapper close and squeezes his arm. The walk in stride down the street, laughing quietly at each other.
"Is this how it's always going to be?" Kyung asks, annoyed.
Jiho loosens his hold on Kyung's arm and ruffles his hair instead. "Nah, you know I'm just pulling your leg." Jiho stops talking for a moment to gather his thoughts. "You know you're my best friend, Kyung. You know I love you like a brother. I don't care if you are gay, bi, whatever. Hell, if you even want to get one of those sex change thingies I'll gladly pay for it."
"Piss off!" Kyung jokingly shoves Jiho, causing Jiho to lose his hold on Kyung and stumble away from him. He quickly regains his balance and attaches his arm on Kyung's shoulder again. "I'm gay, I'm not transgender."
"I know, I know. Seriously, don't think I think of you any differently, okay? I mean I'm going to tease you every now and then, but we're still best friends. Nothings changed," Jiho speaks slowly and seriously, trying to show Kyung Jiho doesn't think of him as any differently. But Kyung knows he is pushing this thought to tell Kyung they are, always have, and always will be best friends. A pang of disappointment pumps through Kyung's heart, but he smiles through it. He worked on this, remember? He knew this is how it was going to be.
"So, do you have a boyfriend?" Jiho asks whimsically.
"No," replies Kyung shortly.
"Good. Because, if you did, I'd have to check this guy out. Make sure he is worthy enough of my Kyung."
"My?" Kyung flashes Jiho a disapproving look.
"Yeah, you're mine until I give you away, got it?" Jiho squeezes Kyung's arm and holds him a little closer to his body.
"Oh~kay." Kyung laughs sarcastically. Jiho pulls him into a tight hug and Kyung rests his head on Jiho's shoulder.
"Have you done it yet?"
"Shut up, Jiho."
"Make sure you use protection. Don't let him go too far, okay? It's not natural to have a, you know, up your, you know."
"Shut up, Jiho."
"Don't spit either, guys hate that," Jiho continues to taunt.
"Shut the fuck up, Jiho." Kyung snaps with an exasperated laugh.
Jiho stops, making Kyung stop. The two share a quick laugh. Jiho places a caring hand on Kyung's shoulder. "I love you man, just know that."
"I love you too," Kyung replies softly and sincerely.
"I know," Jiho responds with a cackle.
Kyung socks Jiho in the shoulder one more time. "Shut up, Jiho."
I can't make ZiKyung happen. Jiho loves him some honey thighs and Kyung is so fucking skinny, so ZiKyung will never happen. Don't tell hotpixel though. kekeke
if you find spelling errors or stuff like that tell me please. I read this 3 times over and think I got them all out, but I can barely write a 140 character tweet without some mistake, so this probably has 98798 typos. I apologize.