ZEARU 1
So, uh, it's been a while since I've actually done an episode ramble, innit? ;w; Might as well get started with the first episode of the new series, eh? LAZZ GO.
I must say that I am really diggin' Yuuma's pants, man.
So anyways, it starts out with him walking on some narrow path of rock in some random spacey landscape. And then he comes across a...
OKAY I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT AT 6:30 IN THE MORNING.
Yuuma agrees.
Especially when the thing starts talking to him. No clue what it's saying, but it's enough to make Yuuma step back a little.
And then rocks fall, Yuuma dies, jii endo.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell out of bed his hammock.
Goddamn, that boy has a sweet room.
Anyways it looks like his weird dreams have made him late for school so he then starts rushing out the door (and it doesn't look like he changes out of his shirt either ew ew eewwwww)
Hello, potentially awesome character. I like how you are completely unpreturbed by your little brother's antics.
Also that cup is amazing.
And then Yuuma tries to pass by his sweet little old granny, who's sweeping the steps. She inquires about something (I think about eating breakfast?), he responds with a negative and tries to get past her.
"Tries" is the key word here. Damn, that's a strong granny.
"Now you will eat your breakfast. Of course you will."
"Right?"
jfjlsdfjadsjs. Anyways, after a hastily eaten breakfast Yuuma's running late again. Meanwhile some fat kid named Tetsuo wants to race him to school. Said kid is on a skateboard while Yuuma's on foot.
"You're fucking, boned, man."
Especially when Tetsuo decides that it would be awesome to knock a trash-cleaning bot into Yuuma's path and cause him to run into it.
FORTY-CARD PICKUP GO GO GO
Aww, the robots wanna play too!
Okay, derp-faced robots are officially the cutest thing ever. hi bruno
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE."
And while Yuuma's playing forty-card pickup with the trash bots, his girlfriend Kotori is taking one of those rail buses to school and spots him.
And then in school, Yuuma's challenging himself to do all sorts of things. Like jumping over 20 of those...jump-base things that you stack on top of each other.
KATTOBINGU DA ORRREEEEEEE-
Obviously this works out great.
Yuuma, common sense dictates that you don't speak underwater.
Or that happens. Also that is either one crazy swimming cap or someone actually has a cat-ear hairstyle. Huh.
Also daayuumn, fat kid so fat he need overalls to keep his swimming trunks on.
"Geez, Yuuma, why are you such an idiot? :\"
"I'm no idiot! Here, lemme go into a hot-blooded yet heartwarming rabble ta' show you!"
"Also I'll mention my dead parents and their Peruvian adventures! I'd like to go to Peru. I bet it's more fun than school."
"I mean, look at this cool thing they left me before they died! It looks kinda like pizza. You think the Peruvians worship it or something? Sounds like my kind of people."
Kotori approves.
And then Yuuma goes and ruins the moment by being an idiot and shouting at the top of his lungs in the class.
Sorry, girl. Maybe next time.
Anyways, it's time to go play Duel Monsters! :D
Of course, you'll need your handy dandy notebook D-Gazer to see the duels in the first place.
And Yuuma throws it on in the most ridiculously dramatic way possible that it's amazing. XD
Also the virtual world that all duels take place in is fucking amazing.
No seriously. Look at the damn place. So. Much. Detail.
Also apparently while they're watching this huge virtual world the kiddies can't see their fellow persons or objects around. Or so I'm told by others. That's kinda hilarious. It reminds me of this.
Yes, Megaman Star Force. Put on the goggles and then you can't see other humans.
Seriously though, I don't know why people on Janime were complaining that they could see Star Force vibes in this show. I rather like that. I just hope it doesn't prompt me to make yet another YGO x Star Force crossover because playing one is quite enough, thank you. XD
And then a giant flying fish comes in and eats everyone the end-
...oh never mind it's just OP time. Finally. I was wondering if they'd forgotten.
Anyways, I'm not really sure what to think about this OP. It's got the kind of beat I like, fast-paced, energetic...
But it's just the singer that gets me. I'm not very fond of high-pitched, breathy voices. It just...throws the thing off for me. So, meh, it's tolerable. Although the animation and scenes more than make up for it. :D
Anyways, back to show. There's a particular duel that catches the eye: a duel agaisnt Tetsuo...
And this guy. Meet Shark.
I'm fairly sure that's a nickname. Who in their right mind names their kid Shark? Also he's got a ridiculously deep voice, I don't think 13 year olds are supposed to sound like that.
Also notice the black card he's holding? No, he's not cheating. No, it's not a Dark Synchro either. That's an Exceeds monster, which is what ZeXal's gonna be trying to promote here. Apparently from what I hear, they're not so hot. That doesn't stop them from getting awesome summoning animations, though.
The idea is to overlay one monster card on top of another special "support" monster card any other monster card of the same level (Pokemon did that first, YGO :|) to summon a stronger Exceeds monster of that same level. (Thanks for the correction, Xero.)
But enough of my babbling, it looks like Tetsuo got his ass kicked. Fairly soundly too, if Shark's lifepoints are any indicator.
And of course, Shark's gonna be an ass about it.
"Look at me, I'm so fucking boss. I think I'll take this as payment for having to deal with bitches like you. I'm that fucking hardcore."
"Also, I have henchmen. Do you have henchmen? I didn't think so."
"Fuck dammit, he's right! All I've got is an idiot and a flat-chested chick!"
Obviously Yuuma doesn't take kindly to this affront and decides to call out Shark on his bullshit. He says something about "Duel Champion..." either he's recongizing Shark as one or he's lying and calling himself one. Either way, Shark's calling him out on it.
"Look at this. You've got ridiculous hair and I'm a head or so taller than you. CLEARLY WE WERE MEANT TO BE RIVALS. I SHALL DUEL YOU, LOSER. AND THEN YOU WILL BE MY BITCH. >T"
"Oh right, in the unlikely event that you win-which you totally will not, by the way-you can have this deck back. Yes, this deck. The one that I won because I'm a fucking boss. But like I said, it's highly unlikely that you would win."
"Oops, sorry, is this yours? What sort of idiot wears some kind of pizza-like trinket around their neck? You got this from a cereal box or something? It's pretty worthless, shrimp."
"SHARK SMASH. >8D"
;A;
And then there was much zetsubou.
The gate disapproves of your zetsubou, Yuuma. :T
"W-well screw you, I'mma gonna angst anyway, and you're gonna like it! 8< "
And he really does end up angsting for the entirety of the next day of school. It's enough that Kotori gets worried.
Kotori, you do not splash someone in the face to cheer them up.
See? You made him cry.
Now kiss and make up, you two.
Meanwhile, Tetsuo watches and plots, the cold fires of jealousy burning deep in his heart. Or something like that. :|a
Later, they both head on their way home to angst a bit more when-oh goddammit Kotori get a longer skirt already my eyes are like automatically drawn to your waistline and it disgusts me. Just. Ahsldfjdslfkjds.
Oh right, the fat kid shows up. And he manages to get Yuuma back up to his normal challenging self with some kind of berating pep talk.
"Here, you might as well get this back, if you're gonna go at it with your usual spirit and all. :|"
No moar zetsubou.
Yuuma spends the night arranging his dead daddy's deck or something and in the morning his granny gives him a snack. Duel Rice or something, I didn't catch it.
Anyways, time for the duel.
"Did I mention that I have henchmen? I did, didn't I?"
"Aw, shaddap!"
It's time to goddamn duel already, bitches.
Also I can't get over how shiny the D-Gazer is. It's pretty cool.
Tsukomo Yuuma vs Ryouga "Shark," start!
oh god i hope i got the names right alsdjflsadjfladsfj
Have I mentioned how fucking awesome the virtual world is yet?
FIRST TAAAN. SUMMON A MONSTER. END TAAAN.
No seriously, that's all he does. Play a monster that he thinks makes an awesome beatstick and just leaves it out there.
Oh right, every single draw in this show is the most dramatic, over-the-top thing ever. And it's hilarious.
WAAAAARRRRRRGGGGG.
i dunno that was the first thing that came to mind when I saw this sorry 8U
And then the giant scary shark gets a huge fucking jetpack for one turn.
Thank god it's only for one turn.
OMNOMONOMNOM.
After this, Yuuma summons some kind of...ninja chain sorcerer or something. Looks pretty boss.
Shark doesn't think so. Mostly because haww dee harr it's too weak XD.
"Well then, let's just wave around this Wonder Wand!"
I will refrain on making boomstick jokes. Rly.
"WE ARE SO EXCITED. REALLY. WE'RE TOTES EXCITED."
dawwhaww hurp, I activate a trap.
Which negates the attack and then deals damage equal to every...aqua monster or shark monster on Ryouga's side of the field or something.
"Aaagh, haaarder~"
oh god i feel so dirty making that kind of joke about a 13 year old DX
Yuuma gets points in my book for being the only person that I can remember setting trap cards with a backflip. Because it's just that ridiculous.
And apparently Yuuma is doin' it wrang. I can't make out why, though. Something about the trap card, though.
Everyone's a critic. Sorry, Yuuma.
aljflkasjlfajsfadslfjasldfjl WHAT IS THAT THING
I can't be the only one who likes this duel field, right?
"You think your monster's stronger? WRONG! I activate this skull thing's special ability, which destroys (some odd amount of spell/trap) on the field And I destroy your boomstick!"
"NOW DESPAIR."
"I'VE ALREADY DONE ENOUGH OF THAT! KATTO BINGU DE-"
"FUCKING HELL WHY DO I ALWAYS GET INTERRUPTED WHEN I'M SAYING THAT-
...WAIT WHY IS IT WHOLE YOU BROKE THIS THING EARLIER ASSHOLE"
"So, you do not despair any longer. Might as well stick that key in me."
MOAR KATTOBINGU.
Triiiiipppyyy.
Meanwhile, Shark's getting possessed by...something that is Not Right.
EXCEED SUMMON
REVISE DRAGON.
Which has Stardust Dragon's cry.
WHY THE HELL DOES IT HAVE STARDUST DRAGON'S CRY I'VE HEARD THAT DAMN THING ENOUGH TIMES-
Ah well, it's still badarse.
Also if its support monster is sacrificed it gains 500 attack points. I assume it's until the end of the turn or something.
Oh also, Tetsuo points out it's different from the Exceeds monster that Shark used against him while using the same overlay monsters. It was some double-barrled shark jet thing that I'm too lazy to go get a decent cap of. 8U
Ouch. Pain.
I-it hurts...I see a light...
yep, there it is, it's a light with a nice ass-
HNNNNNGH. dat asstral
Don't worry, Yuuma. You'll come to like him. I think.
ED THEME TIEM.
I CANNOT STOP LISTENING TO IT. ARGGH. IT WILL NOT GET OUT OF MY MIND.
also that scene with the Duel Disk folding and unfolding and stuff, I just irrationally love that part, I think it's because of that shot of Yuuma in the background.
WELCOME TO THE HEARTLAND.
I'm sure there's a reference here somewhere. The manaiacal crazy laughing guy in the background might have something to do with it.
also this shot is awesome
NEXT EPISODE
DAT ASSTRAL.