ideal vs real
i'm fucking everywhere, i can't get it together. i can't think about one thing at a time and nothing i think about is good so basically i'm thinking about multiple horrible things at the same time. i'm really everywhere i don't want to be. it's insane. it's like ONE OF THOSE THINGS where you don't know whether or not you're improving and it turns out you're going in circles. BIG circles. and there's something you can never ever ever ever have. just because.