November 16 - "Manly-man entry"
Yesterday I shot a gun for the first time. Actually I shot three guns. A sixty year-old .22 rifle, a 9 shot .22 revolver and a 30.06 rifle. I loved it. I was surprised. My paintball gun has more recoil than either of the .22s. We were firing at 2 liters filled with water and they were exploding left and right.
Anyway, for all those that don't know, I am a manly man. I am a primordial hunter-gatherer and I am proud of that. I ache for the time I can spend out of the plains, stalking gazelle, spear in hand. I chase down my prey, chuck my spear and laugh mightily as the gazelle crashes into the dust, because I know that I and my thirty wives and ninety children can feast tonight. I say aloud, "Food good, hunger bad!" as I raise my kill to the sky gods as an offering and without cooking its meat, I dig my teeth into the carrion flesh of my kill.
One day I am going to dig a 12 foot by 12 foot pit trap and trap a grizzly bear. Not a sissy 6 foot, 350 pound grizzly bear. No, a 10 foot 850 pound grizzly bear. I am going to catch it, and I will strip naked and plunge into that pit with only my bare hands, and I will engage in epic combat with that bear. I will then vanquish my foe by breaking his neck. Then to prove my masculinity further, I am going to cut his body into pieces, cook it over an open fire, and eat it heartily. After my meal I will send his head to his wife and cubs, because as a macho man I am entitled to gloating over my kill.
I will wait outside a Hot Topic store just to ambush whatever pansy happens to saunter out with their Tripp pants and eyeliner. I will break him. I am. I will do all of this to get two results: I will prove myself as dominate male of the herd, and two, it will be tons of fun.
Firing those guns got a kind of animalistic rush of adrenaline in me, and a fire burned my soul. I was ready to kill something. I was ready to destroy, obliterate, and crush something. So if you are wondering how my weekend was? I was walking around outside without a shirt, howling at the moon and eating red meat. I mean, how else can someone be manly? I mean I guess the only other way would be to have a wolf tee-shirt. I mean, if you have a wolf shirt, I know you're a badass and I should totally stay away from you 'cause you could so beat me up. Those wolf shirts man, that is the true badge of a manly-man, not a bear tooth lodged in his skull.
-Nic
Anyway, for all those that don't know, I am a manly man. I am a primordial hunter-gatherer and I am proud of that. I ache for the time I can spend out of the plains, stalking gazelle, spear in hand. I chase down my prey, chuck my spear and laugh mightily as the gazelle crashes into the dust, because I know that I and my thirty wives and ninety children can feast tonight. I say aloud, "Food good, hunger bad!" as I raise my kill to the sky gods as an offering and without cooking its meat, I dig my teeth into the carrion flesh of my kill.
One day I am going to dig a 12 foot by 12 foot pit trap and trap a grizzly bear. Not a sissy 6 foot, 350 pound grizzly bear. No, a 10 foot 850 pound grizzly bear. I am going to catch it, and I will strip naked and plunge into that pit with only my bare hands, and I will engage in epic combat with that bear. I will then vanquish my foe by breaking his neck. Then to prove my masculinity further, I am going to cut his body into pieces, cook it over an open fire, and eat it heartily. After my meal I will send his head to his wife and cubs, because as a macho man I am entitled to gloating over my kill.
I will wait outside a Hot Topic store just to ambush whatever pansy happens to saunter out with their Tripp pants and eyeliner. I will break him. I am. I will do all of this to get two results: I will prove myself as dominate male of the herd, and two, it will be tons of fun.
Firing those guns got a kind of animalistic rush of adrenaline in me, and a fire burned my soul. I was ready to kill something. I was ready to destroy, obliterate, and crush something. So if you are wondering how my weekend was? I was walking around outside without a shirt, howling at the moon and eating red meat. I mean, how else can someone be manly? I mean I guess the only other way would be to have a wolf tee-shirt. I mean, if you have a wolf shirt, I know you're a badass and I should totally stay away from you 'cause you could so beat me up. Those wolf shirts man, that is the true badge of a manly-man, not a bear tooth lodged in his skull.
-Nic