(no subject)
Strange experiences to find myself in -- and I'm loving both of them, even while part of me is standing back in great puzzlement trying to see what I 'must be' missing.
Latest -- received an amazing complement from one of the 'kids' (all in their 30s now) today. Told me I was the "best counselor" he'd ever had. I hadda tell him I'm actually a worse counselor for him than for nearly everyone else. Because, as his mother, I'm constantly letting him off the hook for something, filling in the blanks instead of letting him do his own work, taking responsibility for something that wasn't actually my fault ... or alternatively, overdoing it in the other direction, mistaking cold refusal for the neutrality I can give other clients.
Both of us are probably telling truth, not just 'as we see it,' but in objective reality as well. Amazing.
Previous -- finding myself with my equanimity completely undisturbed, without effort, in the face of a problem that shouldn't have happened, that looked like it would arouse feelings of betrayal, anger, frustration ... and I could see that those feelings were _there_, but I didn't have to _have_ them. So I just didn't.
What happened was ... I'd promised to weave a set of four placemats for a fellow groupmember whom I know slightly. I'd made the mistake of telling him they were "almost done" a couple of weeks ago, and then finding that I'd underestimated finishing time by about two hours, so having to postpone delivery. Not my favorite thing to do.
So I finished them a few days ahead of the revised date. They were beautiful -- a chenille-like material in 100% polyester, deep rich colors, I really liked them. "Machine Wash Cold, Dry Flat" said the yarn's instructions. So I did, a few days before delivery, just so I could measure how much (if any) they shrank. [Look at me the quasi-professional, I just wanted to collect good data.]
To make matters worse, I'd had enough warp left to actually make an extra mat, but it still didn't occur to me to use the 'extra' as a 'test'. Nope -- I put all five of them into the washer.
They were utterly ruined. The different colors each shrank a different amount, so what had been rectangular was now lumpy and hourglass shaped. Each mat had 20-50 pulled-out loops where the high-texture yarn had snagged on something and been yanked -- but none of the loops would allow me to pull them back.
I spread them out to dry, verifying for myself that not even one was salvageable. And then I just went upstairs and pulled out remnants of other yarn, looking for what I had that was reliable (meaning I'd used it before, washed it, dried it, found it stable) and would make an attractive pattern in the proper "autumn colors" requested. Didn't take long to gather enough for a solid start, knowing that the yarn store that carried that brand would be open in the morning.
Before nightfall I'd made, tied on, threaded, and wound a new warp. The following morning there I was at the store, finding that I couldn't buy more of the "same" colors, but there were several "compatible" that worked (and I did send my husband to a couple of other stores to make up for what was missing -- grateful blessings to serene and patient spouse). Over the next three days I did very little besides work on them -- weaving, knotting, trimming, and then (yes) test-washing ONE. Delivered them on time. Felt wonderfully successful. Didn't need to tell my customer about the catastrophe or the substitution. Didn't need to complain to more than a couple of people about the mishap, nor much brag about the quick recovery.
Tomorrow I will indeed take the offending mats back to the store where the yarn was bought, and at least discuss with them my experience and my disappointment that the yarn couldn't be trusted to behave as advertised. But even there -- I don't feel so much 'aggrieved' as 'needing to clarify what's expected for next time.'
Twenty hours or more of work was 100% wasted. I can remember when I would have compounded the problem by throwing an hour's worth of tantrum, following it up with a day of depression, and then the late delivery of a substitute set -- or maybe even just putting the whole loom away for months.
Feels so good to have done it this way instead.
Yippee! (Maybe at 60 I'm finally growing up?)
..
Latest -- received an amazing complement from one of the 'kids' (all in their 30s now) today. Told me I was the "best counselor" he'd ever had. I hadda tell him I'm actually a worse counselor for him than for nearly everyone else. Because, as his mother, I'm constantly letting him off the hook for something, filling in the blanks instead of letting him do his own work, taking responsibility for something that wasn't actually my fault ... or alternatively, overdoing it in the other direction, mistaking cold refusal for the neutrality I can give other clients.
Both of us are probably telling truth, not just 'as we see it,' but in objective reality as well. Amazing.
Previous -- finding myself with my equanimity completely undisturbed, without effort, in the face of a problem that shouldn't have happened, that looked like it would arouse feelings of betrayal, anger, frustration ... and I could see that those feelings were _there_, but I didn't have to _have_ them. So I just didn't.
What happened was ... I'd promised to weave a set of four placemats for a fellow groupmember whom I know slightly. I'd made the mistake of telling him they were "almost done" a couple of weeks ago, and then finding that I'd underestimated finishing time by about two hours, so having to postpone delivery. Not my favorite thing to do.
So I finished them a few days ahead of the revised date. They were beautiful -- a chenille-like material in 100% polyester, deep rich colors, I really liked them. "Machine Wash Cold, Dry Flat" said the yarn's instructions. So I did, a few days before delivery, just so I could measure how much (if any) they shrank. [Look at me the quasi-professional, I just wanted to collect good data.]
To make matters worse, I'd had enough warp left to actually make an extra mat, but it still didn't occur to me to use the 'extra' as a 'test'. Nope -- I put all five of them into the washer.
They were utterly ruined. The different colors each shrank a different amount, so what had been rectangular was now lumpy and hourglass shaped. Each mat had 20-50 pulled-out loops where the high-texture yarn had snagged on something and been yanked -- but none of the loops would allow me to pull them back.
I spread them out to dry, verifying for myself that not even one was salvageable. And then I just went upstairs and pulled out remnants of other yarn, looking for what I had that was reliable (meaning I'd used it before, washed it, dried it, found it stable) and would make an attractive pattern in the proper "autumn colors" requested. Didn't take long to gather enough for a solid start, knowing that the yarn store that carried that brand would be open in the morning.
Before nightfall I'd made, tied on, threaded, and wound a new warp. The following morning there I was at the store, finding that I couldn't buy more of the "same" colors, but there were several "compatible" that worked (and I did send my husband to a couple of other stores to make up for what was missing -- grateful blessings to serene and patient spouse). Over the next three days I did very little besides work on them -- weaving, knotting, trimming, and then (yes) test-washing ONE. Delivered them on time. Felt wonderfully successful. Didn't need to tell my customer about the catastrophe or the substitution. Didn't need to complain to more than a couple of people about the mishap, nor much brag about the quick recovery.
Tomorrow I will indeed take the offending mats back to the store where the yarn was bought, and at least discuss with them my experience and my disappointment that the yarn couldn't be trusted to behave as advertised. But even there -- I don't feel so much 'aggrieved' as 'needing to clarify what's expected for next time.'
Twenty hours or more of work was 100% wasted. I can remember when I would have compounded the problem by throwing an hour's worth of tantrum, following it up with a day of depression, and then the late delivery of a substitute set -- or maybe even just putting the whole loom away for months.
Feels so good to have done it this way instead.
Yippee! (Maybe at 60 I'm finally growing up?)
..