Updates before Samhain
Way past time for an update. Sometimes I think this screen before me is an amazing time-suck; sometimes it's an amazing assistant.
Relationships
Talking better. Talking more. Lots better boundaries. More of the elephants in the room are getting talked about, acknowledged, even taken out for some exercise. And their detritus is getting shoveled away, too. More clarity in the household around what's working and what isn't. More motion on some of the old stuck crap.
Something must be in motion elsewhere, too, because in early September, in fact only days apart, two of our kids announced impending divorces. Both seem to be doing much better having come to those decisions; we'll see what the future holds.
And, in our household there's more acknowledgment that some of the stuff that we'd like to happen, won't. Or won't until next summer. But at least we're being honest about it.
Writing
Last two semesters I wrote about 120 pages of usable memoir. Getting better at writing / reconstructing dialog that sounds like the way my family members actually talked, back in the 50s and 60s. Getting better at unearthing some of the buried feelings, the mistaken conclusions. Getting much better at making that stuff clear to readers, once I can see it myself. Still nowhere near a saleable MS, but I'm putting it on the back burner for a year or so anyway.
Chaplaincy
I've served a couple of times as hospital chaplain for a CUUPS member who was having surgery, and a couple of times I've officiated or facilitated at a rite of passage for a friend.
Dropped the ball on dealing with my local hospital this summer; spent my energy getting ready for the first-ever Master's degrees at Cherry Hill Seminary instead. In the spring, though, it'll be a high-priority item. The response, as recently as last week, to a patient saying their religion was "Wicca" was still, "We don't have that here. I'll put you down as 'other'." (sigh).
Medical
I feel pretty good, but will be getting a chiropractic adjustment and a gynecological checkup before I leave for the tropics anyway. Vision good, hearing fair (slowly fading, probably age related). Some carpal tunnel symptoms when I spend too much time on my Macbook.
Celebration
This is birthday month in our house; three of the four of us were born in October. This year all celebrations are low-key, no big ends-in-zero birthdays and lots of productivity going on. But a few presents are good.
Magic
Getting to spend the weekend doing several things -- possibly that's an overdose, we'll see.
This year most Full Moons have been celebrated solitary or not at all, instead of my usual practice of getting to circle together for about half of them in the year.
I missed celebrating Imbolc with anyone atall, but went to Pantheacon and got to speak to lots of people and participate in some lovely trancework. I celebrated Ostara with open public ritual, missed Beltane altogether, celebrated Litha once in open public ritual and once in invitation-only coven space, on consecutive days. Then I went to Starwood and Sirius Rising, came home and celebrated Lammas on two consecutive days, one public, one invitation-only. Then Mabon twice, two days apart, and now Samhain on two consecutive days ... and possibly on the following Sunday morning as well.
So why am I feeling deprived? Looks to me like I've been well-companioned for, really, all but Beltane and Imbolc. I will miss Yule, which I will be celebrating alone in a Roman Catholic country where I don't speak the language. And my Dear Husband is a muggle; probably we will get invited to Christmas festivities instead. But I am, anyway, eager for the weekend's opportunities coming up.
Sobriety
Since getting back from Guatemala I've sometimes had many days of no alcohol in a row, and sometimes a few days of alcohol daily. The few times I've run into any of the folks from the meetings I attended last year it has felt like pressure. Mostly I'm noticing that there's a huge difference between having a beer at dinner out, when everyone is and there's no big deal, and having a beer, and then another, when home for the evening. Mostly I'm noticing that the desire for a beer seems to mostly be code for "I don't want to be doing what I'm doing, having the conversation I'm having, pretending there isn't a conversation I'd rather have instead" or something like that.
Mostly I'm noticing what it means and taking the opportunity to express my preference, rather than drink while doing something I don't want. Still pretty clear that meetings aren't it, especially with the presumption that "I am powerless" is a good thing to be telling myself daily.
Spiritual Practice
Daily meditation is averaging about 23 days/month. Just now working with the format from Servants of the Light. Feeling calm and centered.
Keeping Commitments
Doing pretty well at being on time, reminding myself what's coming up. The big exception has been appointments with my shrink; I've been late to more than three this quarter and actually forgotten all about it twice. Presumably this is more about 'stuff I don't want to work on' than any dissatisfaction with the therapist or the work we do.
Physical Reality
My bedroom is cleaner. Last month Dear Husband and I each unpacked almost ten boxes from the basement, went through their contents, got the bulk of the stuff out of here (trash or thrift shop), put the rest where it goes. Then I made the mistake of bringing four boxes of my mother's Archive into the living room to sort, where they have stayed for three weeks. I'll need to finish with them before I leave town in mid-November. (sheesh).
Plans
We've begun the process of talking about what we might want to do in later retirement. Is there a place we'd like to live, if we didn't stay here? Or what would it take to be able to stay in this house forever? We've begun laying out the things we would like to get done next year, too. Scheduled Thanksgiving 2010 for another huge bash here, warned folks it might be the last one. Started setting up the field to be pasture for one of our neighbors, arranging fencing and so on.
Overwhelm and Overbooking
Just now things look under control. I've had a couple of 60-hour weeks during the ramp-up to Cherry Hill's first semester of master's classes, and now the first-ever admissions process for degree candidates, but that looks like smoothing out about now. I've embarked on another year of school at University of Santa Monica, finishing a master's in Spiritual Psychology with an emphasis in Consciousness, Health and Healing; I expect that to be deep and time-consuming work with a fine payoff in improved health and gentler aging.
Love and light and lots of laughter
Relationships
Talking better. Talking more. Lots better boundaries. More of the elephants in the room are getting talked about, acknowledged, even taken out for some exercise. And their detritus is getting shoveled away, too. More clarity in the household around what's working and what isn't. More motion on some of the old stuck crap.
Something must be in motion elsewhere, too, because in early September, in fact only days apart, two of our kids announced impending divorces. Both seem to be doing much better having come to those decisions; we'll see what the future holds.
And, in our household there's more acknowledgment that some of the stuff that we'd like to happen, won't. Or won't until next summer. But at least we're being honest about it.
Writing
Last two semesters I wrote about 120 pages of usable memoir. Getting better at writing / reconstructing dialog that sounds like the way my family members actually talked, back in the 50s and 60s. Getting better at unearthing some of the buried feelings, the mistaken conclusions. Getting much better at making that stuff clear to readers, once I can see it myself. Still nowhere near a saleable MS, but I'm putting it on the back burner for a year or so anyway.
Chaplaincy
I've served a couple of times as hospital chaplain for a CUUPS member who was having surgery, and a couple of times I've officiated or facilitated at a rite of passage for a friend.
Dropped the ball on dealing with my local hospital this summer; spent my energy getting ready for the first-ever Master's degrees at Cherry Hill Seminary instead. In the spring, though, it'll be a high-priority item. The response, as recently as last week, to a patient saying their religion was "Wicca" was still, "We don't have that here. I'll put you down as 'other'." (sigh).
Medical
I feel pretty good, but will be getting a chiropractic adjustment and a gynecological checkup before I leave for the tropics anyway. Vision good, hearing fair (slowly fading, probably age related). Some carpal tunnel symptoms when I spend too much time on my Macbook.
Celebration
This is birthday month in our house; three of the four of us were born in October. This year all celebrations are low-key, no big ends-in-zero birthdays and lots of productivity going on. But a few presents are good.
Magic
Getting to spend the weekend doing several things -- possibly that's an overdose, we'll see.
This year most Full Moons have been celebrated solitary or not at all, instead of my usual practice of getting to circle together for about half of them in the year.
I missed celebrating Imbolc with anyone atall, but went to Pantheacon and got to speak to lots of people and participate in some lovely trancework. I celebrated Ostara with open public ritual, missed Beltane altogether, celebrated Litha once in open public ritual and once in invitation-only coven space, on consecutive days. Then I went to Starwood and Sirius Rising, came home and celebrated Lammas on two consecutive days, one public, one invitation-only. Then Mabon twice, two days apart, and now Samhain on two consecutive days ... and possibly on the following Sunday morning as well.
So why am I feeling deprived? Looks to me like I've been well-companioned for, really, all but Beltane and Imbolc. I will miss Yule, which I will be celebrating alone in a Roman Catholic country where I don't speak the language. And my Dear Husband is a muggle; probably we will get invited to Christmas festivities instead. But I am, anyway, eager for the weekend's opportunities coming up.
Sobriety
Since getting back from Guatemala I've sometimes had many days of no alcohol in a row, and sometimes a few days of alcohol daily. The few times I've run into any of the folks from the meetings I attended last year it has felt like pressure. Mostly I'm noticing that there's a huge difference between having a beer at dinner out, when everyone is and there's no big deal, and having a beer, and then another, when home for the evening. Mostly I'm noticing that the desire for a beer seems to mostly be code for "I don't want to be doing what I'm doing, having the conversation I'm having, pretending there isn't a conversation I'd rather have instead" or something like that.
Mostly I'm noticing what it means and taking the opportunity to express my preference, rather than drink while doing something I don't want. Still pretty clear that meetings aren't it, especially with the presumption that "I am powerless" is a good thing to be telling myself daily.
Spiritual Practice
Daily meditation is averaging about 23 days/month. Just now working with the format from Servants of the Light. Feeling calm and centered.
Keeping Commitments
Doing pretty well at being on time, reminding myself what's coming up. The big exception has been appointments with my shrink; I've been late to more than three this quarter and actually forgotten all about it twice. Presumably this is more about 'stuff I don't want to work on' than any dissatisfaction with the therapist or the work we do.
Physical Reality
My bedroom is cleaner. Last month Dear Husband and I each unpacked almost ten boxes from the basement, went through their contents, got the bulk of the stuff out of here (trash or thrift shop), put the rest where it goes. Then I made the mistake of bringing four boxes of my mother's Archive into the living room to sort, where they have stayed for three weeks. I'll need to finish with them before I leave town in mid-November. (sheesh).
Plans
We've begun the process of talking about what we might want to do in later retirement. Is there a place we'd like to live, if we didn't stay here? Or what would it take to be able to stay in this house forever? We've begun laying out the things we would like to get done next year, too. Scheduled Thanksgiving 2010 for another huge bash here, warned folks it might be the last one. Started setting up the field to be pasture for one of our neighbors, arranging fencing and so on.
Overwhelm and Overbooking
Just now things look under control. I've had a couple of 60-hour weeks during the ramp-up to Cherry Hill's first semester of master's classes, and now the first-ever admissions process for degree candidates, but that looks like smoothing out about now. I've embarked on another year of school at University of Santa Monica, finishing a master's in Spiritual Psychology with an emphasis in Consciousness, Health and Healing; I expect that to be deep and time-consuming work with a fine payoff in improved health and gentler aging.
Love and light and lots of laughter