What the newsfolks are calling the D-word
Too much 'chicken little' news lately. Every time I walk past a television it seems I hear somebody repeating doom and gloom about the economy, but much of it seems to be at the level of rumor. While the economy is clearly in contraction I do not personally foresee famine. I do foresee significant inconvenience to many of us, some of which is apt
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Often, in spiritual practice or in the most mundane operations, I have been unable to distinguish between a genuine obstacle that exists in the real world and a personal resistance that is purely psychological. So thanks for reminding me that I can get stuck in that particular confusion.
Since the meditation I've been trying to do so unsuccessfully is a new practice, I've been wondering if the problem might be that I'm NOT "supposed" to be doing this particular work, or following this particular process, or studying with this particular teacher, or making relationship with these particular Gods.
It's entirely possible that that's the case. It's also entirely possible that this is the teacher I have been waiting for all my life, and that this level of resistance is just the usual self-sabotager who prefers to play small.
(An example of the usual line: "Let's see, if I were really to write the Great American Novel and become a Nationally Respected Motivational Speaker and earn a kajillion dollars so I could set up a Foundation to Cure World Hunger ... then I'd probably become an insufferable egomaniac and my family would all leave me and the whole thing would be worthless. Therefore, let's not sit down at the computer to write even one paragraph today, and let's not volunteer to deliver a 5-minute homily to 20 people on a holiday weekend Sunday service, and maybe I shouldn't put in that job application." Does any of that sound at all familiar?)
So, all that being noticed, I think I'll continue to struggle and wriggle and kick and scream awhile longer.
I so appreciate your thoughtful replies, Dear One. Thank you.
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